Honeymoon Discussions

Honeymoon Registries - Prepay for Flight?

13

Re: Honeymoon Registries - Prepay for Flight?

  • My issue right now is the fact that so many people feel like they are entitled to judge couples they don't know. You don't know me. You don't know these other brides/grooms. You don't know my guests or their guests. Why do you pretend to know what my friends and family think? Why do you feel you somehow know them better than I do? And why do you feel that MY personal decision is YOUR business?

    The original post acknowledged that many people disagree, but that they had chosen this as a good option for themselves, and asked for help. Instead, they were met with people tearing them down for a decision that does not affect them at all. It's disgusting.

    I would rather contribute to a loved one's honeymoon fund than hand them a check. That's MY opinion. If you have a different one, that's perfectly fine. But that's the end of it. You don't get to choose what works for me or anyone but yourself. Period. I really don't understand why this is such a difficult concept.
    Knottie28989598Knottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866
  • CMGragain said:
    You really think your loved ones will be honest with you and tell you that honeyfunds are totally tacky, greedy grabs for money?  Of course they won't because they care about you.

    We are internet strangers.  We will tell you the truth, even if it hurts.  If you can't afford to pay for your honeymoon, then revise your plans and do something you can afford.  Asking your guests to fund your honeymoon is just tacky.  Why not just sit in a corner with a sign that says "Need money for honeymoon.  Please give!  We deserve it!"?

    People know that checks are always good wedding gifts.  Telling them to give you money is really tacky and rude.  We have seen many, many people on The Knot who are complaining about being asked to give to a honeyfund, and they are disgusted with the bride and groom.  They wouldn't say it to their faces, though.


    I don't mean to make a fuss, but if setting up a honeymoon registry is telling your guests to give you money, isn't registering for gifts telling your guests to give you gifts? I'm not invested in this issue personally, but as a guest, I actually would enjoy contributing to a honeymoon fund. I think the idea of contributing to a specific experience for a couple feels more personal than giving them a check (though obviously the service fees on the websites are a waste). I understand that some guests may feel upset by the idea of a honeymoon registry and I'm not saying we should just neglect people's feelings about this. However, I think it's a bit unfair to say universally everyone feels they are disgusting and tacky. It doesn't adhere to etiquette, but isn't the point of etiquette to avoid being rude and offensive? If a couple is having a small wedding and really and truly knows their guests (and that it isn't likely to offend them), I guess I just don't see what's so wrong with it.

    Knottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Some people might not think honeymoon registry are tacky, but no one will think not having a honeymoon registry is tacky. Why take the chance that one, some, or many people invited to your wedding feel the same way we do?
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    CMGragain[Deleted User]YogaSandyInLoveInQueens
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My issue right now is the fact that so many people feel like they are entitled to judge couples they don't know. You don't know me. You don't know these other brides/grooms. You don't know my guests or their guests. Why do you pretend to know what my friends and family think? Why do you feel you somehow know them better than I do? And why do you feel that MY personal decision is YOUR business?

    The original post acknowledged that many people disagree, but that they had chosen this as a good option for themselves, and asked for help. Instead, they were met with people tearing them down for a decision that does not affect them at all. It's disgusting.

    I would rather contribute to a loved one's honeymoon fund than hand them a check. That's MY opinion. If you have a different one, that's perfectly fine. But that's the end of it. You don't get to choose what works for me or anyone but yourself. Period. I really don't understand why this is such a difficult concept.
       Why is that such a difficult concept to understand that when you post a question on a message board you are going to get replies that you do not like?


    I think HM registries are tacky.  I personally was "scammed" by a couple who only registred for the money.  They did even do the activities they registered for.  That is my own experience.    

    My sister got married 20 years ago and she got cash/checks as wedding gifts.  Giving cash is not a "new" trend. People already give it, why the need for a 3rd party company?







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    adwks
  • "It doesn't matter what YOU think.  It is what your guests will think that matters."

    I'm so glad you know my guests better than I do.

    You are all missing my point ENTIRELY. You assume that every couple is ripping people off or not being honest with their guests, that every Honeymoon Fund like this is a scam or that it is fooling the guests. This may be true for some people, but not for everyone. Judging people for making a decision regarding their own wedding and their own guests is ridiculous. You don't know them, their guests, or what works for them. We've talked this idea over with parents, siblings, friends, other relatives. etc. and every single one of them has thought it was a cool idea. They know exactly how it works. Other couples might not have guests as open to this idea. Who knows. The point is, each situation is going to be different and to blindly assume that every single couple doing this is somehow, intentionally or not, cheating their guests, is ludicrous and insulting to those couples who might be able to have this work for them.

    Personally, I know that many of MY friends and family members would find it more fun to contribute to a "specific" thing we do on our Honeymoon and have that personalized experience with us than to just hand us a check. For them and for us, just handing us a check or cash seems impersonal, but getting involved in our plans for our honeymoon is more fun, and knowing that they'll receive a thank you postcard from whatever they contributed to, be it a show or a dinner or even just silly pictures on the plane, makes it a better experience for us. FOR US. (Again, it's a PERSONAL choice.)

    For others, maybe that's not true. Why do you care? As long as the couple and their families and guests are happy, that's what matters. I understand sometimes that's not how it works, and that's unfortunate, but that's not every situation. I've known couples who returned most of their gifts for cash or exchanged them for other things. It happens quite often, actually. I don't see people coming on here throwing a fit over that. Leave people to do what is best for them. If you don't agree, then stay out of it. Period. Be helpful, or mind your own business. It's not hard. But it's not my problem if this is too difficult of a concept to grasp. Continue judging if you want, but it's not going to stop myself or other couples from doing what is best for them and their guests, exactly as they should, regardless of the opinions of strangers on the internet.
    We don't need to know your guests to know what the PROPER ETIQUETTE is. If you have a bunch of friends who don't care if you have bad manners, that doesn't change the fact that you do. Nor will it keep people who aren't your friends (and therefore do not feel the need to sugar-coat their real opinions) from pointing it out.
    [Deleted User]
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    My issue right now is the fact that so many people feel like they are entitled to judge couples they don't know. You don't know me. You don't know these other brides/grooms. You don't know my guests or their guests. Why do you pretend to know what my friends and family think? Why do you feel you somehow know them better than I do? And why do you feel that MY personal decision is YOUR business?

    The original post acknowledged that many people disagree, but that they had chosen this as a good option for themselves, and asked for help. Instead, they were met with people tearing them down for a decision that does not affect them at all. It's disgusting.

    I would rather contribute to a loved one's honeymoon fund than hand them a check. That's MY opinion. If you have a different one, that's perfectly fine. But that's the end of it. You don't get to choose what works for me or anyone but yourself. Period. I really don't understand why this is such a difficult concept.
    So you'd rather contribute to a honeymoon fund (which takes a fee out of your gift) than give the whole monetary gift in the form of a check?  Ummm, ok....that sounds like a brilliant idea!  No wonder things like the honeymoon fund survive - there really are people who fall for this!  
    adwks[Deleted User]YogaSandyInLoveInQueens
  • edited August 2015
    JoanE2012: If it's what the couple wants and it will help them actually afford a honeymoon and they don't have a need for physical gifts, yes. Call me crazy, but I'm all for losing a few bucks if it means giving the couple something they actually want. Is it ideal? No. But neither is spending $50 on a handful of plates they'll only touch twice in the next ten years, or a toaster they'll just take back and get cash for, or awkwardly handing them an impersonal check or envelope of cash.


    At the end of the day, it's not your wedding. You aren't a guest. End of story.


    To the couples who are considering a HM Registry:
    There is nothing wrong with this. You aren't doing anything wrong. As long as it is what you believe works best for you and your guests, then by all means, do it. Be sure to research sites and fees and find what makes the most sense for you. But do not let jerks who think their opinion rules the ways of the world make you feel guilty for this choice. It is your wedding, your friends and family, your day. Enjoy it, make the most of it, and don't apologize for it. <3
    Knottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    NephieWeber2016, you are new to the Knot.  Discussions on Honeymoon Registries have been done many times here.  The result is always the same - many people are offended by honeymoon registries.
    So you don't care if you offend some of your guests?  Good luck with that attitude.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]
  • edited August 2015
    "It doesn't matter what YOU think.  It is what your guests will think that matters."

    I'm so glad you know my guests better than I do.

    You are all missing my point ENTIRELY. You assume that every couple is ripping people off or not being honest with their guests, that every Honeymoon Fund like this is a scam or that it is fooling the guests. No one said that.  PPs just pointed out that misappropriation of Honeyfund money is only one of MANY issues they have with the program. This may be true for some people, but not for everyone. Judging people for making a decision regarding their own wedding and their own guests is ridiculous. You don't know them, their guests, or what works for them.  Exactly.  This is why the rules of etiquette exist - so they can be applied universally across all situations and groups of people.  We've talked this idea over with parents, siblings, friends, other relatives. etc. and every single one of them has thought it was a cool idea. They know exactly how it works. Other couples might not have guests as open to this idea. Who knows. The point is, each situation is going to be different and to blindly assume that every single couple doing this is somehow, intentionally or not, cheating their guests, is ludicrous and insulting to those couples who might be able to have this work for them. Again, no one is "blindly assuming that every single couple is doing this".  Show me where someone said that.  You can't.  Stop making sweeping generalizations about good advice you're getting in response to your post in order to strengthen your incorrect opinions.  

    Personally, I know that many of MY friends and family members would find it more fun to contribute to a "specific" thing we do on our Honeymoon and have that personalized experience with us than to just hand us a check. For them and for us, just handing us a check or cash seems impersonal, but getting involved in our plans for our honeymoon is more fun, and knowing that they'll receive a thank you postcard from whatever they contributed to, be it a show or a dinner or even just silly pictures on the plane, makes it a better experience for us. FOR US. (Again, it's a PERSONAL choice.)  You said it yourself, you don't actually get to purchase specific things.  And the HF lender takes a cut.  This is not a win win situation.  This is a win (HF company) lose (married couple loses a few $ on the fee) lose (guest pays fee, full amount of intended gift not received by couple).  Win-Lose-Lose.  FWIW, you're being very presumptive in assuming all or even some of your guests feel handing you a check is impersonal.  

    For others, maybe that's not true. Why do you care?  We care because our intent is to give advice on what proper etiquette is on issues related to weddings.  Believe it or not, we actually care that people properly host their guests and don't shake them down for money or offend them by doing something they may not have even known was rude to begin with.  As long as the couple and their families and guests are happy, that's what matters. You don't know if doing something rude will not offend your guests.  I understand sometimes that's not how it works, and that's unfortunate, but that's not every situation. I've known couples who returned most of their gifts for cash or exchanged them for other things. It happens quite often, actually. I don't see people coming on here throwing a fit over that. Leave people to do what is best for them. If you don't agree, then stay out of it. Period. Be helpful, or mind your own business. Translation: "Agree with me or validate my bad ideas and flawed argument or don't comment".  Yeah, that's not how it works here.  These are etiquette boards.  Users will not passively sit there and have you justify bad ideas b/c you're (general you) not open minded enough to have a discussion or shift your perspective based on pretty consistent feedback.  We also comment so lurkers who may not know one way or the other learn about why something is either in keeping with or flies in the face of standard etiquette. It's not hard. But it's not my problem if this is too difficult of a concept to grasp. Continue judging if you want, but it's not going to stop myself or other couples from doing what is best for them and their guests, exactly as they should, regardless of the opinions of strangers on the internet. Referring to us as "strangers on the internet" is extremely narrow-minded.  We are wives, some husbands, wives to be, mothers, sisters, daughters, bridesmaids, and WEDDING GUESTS.  While I don't know every user here IRL, I'd say there's a DAMN good chance that a high percentage of us have been a wedding guest.  We know what it's like to be hosted well or horribly, to be made to feel like an honored guest or to be taken advantage of.    
    For the record, I did not know how HM registries worked and contributed to two of them before I came here and learned that I didn't really buy my friends surf lessons, that the HF company takes a cut, and that they are rude.  I would scarcely say that the posters here who educated me on this were "insulting my intelligence" by telling me these things.  

    As I stated above, these are etiquette boards.  Many of the users have a really good handle on what actions constitute proper etiquette (also known as good manners) and will bluntly tell you what is ok and what is rude.  Etiquette rules are standardized and are not subject to opinion.  If they were, they would be pointless.  They don't change based on your opinion or region or special circumstances or (in your case) what you think your guests like or don't like.  You will not get validation here for promoting ideas that are generally accepted as rude from an etiquette standpoint.  

    *edited for grammar

    ETA---------------

    Most of my comments in blue are actually applicable not just to HF but this whole attitude of "you don't know me!" "You don't know my guests" "You don't know my situation!"  None of that matters and that argument will get you exactly nowhere around here.  
    Pupatellamadamerwin[Deleted User]
  • CMGragain said:
    You really think your loved ones will be honest with you and tell you that honeyfunds are totally tacky, greedy grabs for money?  Of course they won't because they care about you.

    We are internet strangers.  We will tell you the truth, even if it hurts.  If you can't afford to pay for your honeymoon, then revise your plans and do something you can afford.  Asking your guests to fund your honeymoon is just tacky.  Why not just sit in a corner with a sign that says "Need money for honeymoon.  Please give!  We deserve it!"?

    People know that checks are always good wedding gifts.  Telling them to give you money is really tacky and rude.  We have seen many, many people on The Knot who are complaining about being asked to give to a honeyfund, and they are disgusted with the bride and groom.  They wouldn't say it to their faces, though.


    I don't mean to make a fuss, but if setting up a honeymoon registry is telling your guests to give you money, isn't registering for gifts telling your guests to give you gifts? I'm not invested in this issue personally, but as a guest, I actually would enjoy contributing to a honeymoon fund. I think the idea of contributing to a specific experience for a couple feels more personal than giving them a check (though obviously the service fees on the websites are a waste). I understand that some guests may feel upset by the idea of a honeymoon registry and I'm not saying we should just neglect people's feelings about this. However, I think it's a bit unfair to say universally everyone feels they are disgusting and tacky. It doesn't adhere to etiquette, but isn't the point of etiquette to avoid being rude and offensive? If a couple is having a small wedding and really and truly knows their guests (and that it isn't likely to offend them), I guess I just don't see what's so wrong with it.

    You're not making a fuss by asking questions.  It's OK if you don't find anything wrong with HFs and it's nice that you wouldn't be offended if you were asked to contribute to one.  The important thing to note is that you can never REALLY be sure, even with a small wedding, that you're (general you, not you Knottie#s) not offending someone by doing something that is not in keeping with proper etiquette.  HFs are considered rude and PPs have covered why.  

    Yes, the fees are a waste.  That should be enough to stop anyone with any financial sense from contributing.  End of story.  Why would you want to throw that $ away if you're not really actually purchasing the couple that surf lesson or that poolside dinner or that chopper ride that Lynda was duped into purchasing?  The companies are selling you on the "idea" of these things and tricking you (the guest) into thinking you are really giving something special and personal.  It reeks of gullibility to buy into this concept.  "If you think you really bought your friends a snorkeling trip, well I have a bridge to sell you..."

    This whole "checks are impersonal" thing is new and sounds like a catch-phrase made up by those who are trying to defend a honeyfund.  We received checks at our wedding and I remember as I was writing Thank-You notes holding one in my hand and smiling as I read the perfect cursive of our 93 year old guest who wrote in the memo, "Happy Wedding to Mr. & Mrs. Onefoot".  I get misty just thinking about it!  
    [Deleted User]YogaSandy
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You aren't giving the couple what they want by contributing to the Honeymoon registry any more or better than if you write them a check. In fact, you are giving them less/worse. The honeymoon registry company simply cuts them a check, minus the fees. So if 10 of us each gave them $10 in cash or checks, the couple would have $100 to put toward their honeymoon. If 10 of us donated $10 each to the registry, the company takes a cut, and they end up with a check for, say, $80 toward their honeymoon. You are NOT buying them individual honeymoon experiences like you think you are. You are just giving them less cash than you intended!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    onefootinthebayouOliveOilsMom[Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    IMO, honeymoon funds scream "PAY FOR MY VACATION!"

    Now when I only take one full vacation a year and don't always get to go exactly where I want because of budget, why would anyone think I would be happy to buy you some romantic massage or beach side dinner for YOUR vacation when I can't even do that for myself?

    redoryx[Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • CMGragain said:
    OP, still trying to be helpful.
      What about an exotic location in the USA?  New Orleans is like a foreign country.  You could spend a couple of nights in a boutique but budget friendly hotel.  Florida has some good locations, too.
    Cruises from either Florida or California can be very budget friendly.
    Montreal in Canada would be very romantic.  Mexico has many nice resorts.  Colorado is beautiful in October.
    You don't need to spend a ton of money to have a beautiful honeymoon.
    FH and I are paying for about two-thirds of the wedding ourselves and while we wanted to "go big or go home", that just isn't feasible. Instead we researched deals until we found one that worked. Southwest Airlines recently had their 72-hour sale where flights ranged anywhere as low as $99-149 one way. We ended up booking a 4-day minimoon getaway to Florida at a 4-star resort for around $400 per person (included flights, hotel, and taxes). You don't need a HM fund to book a honeymoon, you just need to plan and keep your eyes open everyday for the best deal. I think planning a trip to Thailand sounds like a once in a lifetime trip and for me personally and I'd fully expect to be saving for several years to take it to make it worthwhile. The honeymoon IMO is meant to relax from all your planning and hardwork from the big day and to soak up being married, not to add more stress and endless running around to where you don't get to feel rejuvenated when you come back. But to each their own (just stay away from this awful sounding honeyfund).
    madamerwinCMGragainredoryx[Deleted User]
  • edited August 2015

    JoanE2012: If it's what the couple wants and it will help them actually afford a honeymoon and they don't have a need for physical gifts, yes. Call me crazy, but I'm all for losing a few bucks if it means giving the couple something they actually want. Is it ideal? No. But neither is spending $50 on a handful of plates they'll only touch twice in the next ten years, or a toaster they'll just take back and get cash for, or awkwardly handing them an impersonal check or envelope of cash.


    At the end of the day, it's not your wedding. You aren't a guest. End of story.


    To the couples who are considering a HM Registry:
    There is nothing wrong with this. You aren't doing anything wrong. As long as it is what you believe works best for you and your guests, then by all means, do it. Be sure to research sites and fees and find what makes the most sense for you. But do not let jerks who think their opinion rules the ways of the world make you feel guilty for this choice. It is your wedding, your friends and family, your day. Enjoy it, make the most of it, and don't apologize for it. <3
    image

    Anyone else's sock puppet alert tingling?
    image
    madamerwinonefootinthebayouJediElizabethInLoveInQueens
  • I've read that some registries give you a voucher for the entire price of an activity, so that takes the wind out of the whole "you don't get the whole amount" argument.

    Also, I guess a rogue Knot member wrote item #3 on this list...https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-rules-you-can-break

    Sure, I agree it's pretty insane to expect your guests to pay your entire fancy honeymoon. But I don't think shouting and being haughty really does anyone any favors either. To each their own.
    Knottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I've read that some registries give you a voucher for the entire price of an activity, so that takes the wind out of the whole "you don't get the whole amount" argument.

    Also, I guess a rogue Knot member wrote item #3 on this list...https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-rules-you-can-break

    Sure, I agree it's pretty insane to expect your guests to pay your entire fancy honeymoon. But I don't think shouting and being haughty really does anyone any favors either. To each their own.
    I'd like to know where exactly you read that because that is a new one.  Because the only way I can see this happening is if your guest had to pay a fee in addition to the money they gave for the activity.  So if you wanted a $100 couples massage then the guest most likely paid $100 plus a fee, lets just say $10, so that the website can send you that silly "voucher" which most likely still does not reserve/book that massage.  In my eyes, that is even worse because the couple is making their guests pay the stupid tax instead of themselves. 

    And as far as the link, TheKnot is a wedding website run by employees NOT forum members. The website is out to make money.  It doesn't really care about etiquette or common sense.

    onefootinthebayouOliveOilsMomadwks
  • I've read that some registries give you a voucher for the entire price of an activity, so that takes the wind out of the whole "you don't get the whole amount" argument.


    Also, I guess a rogue Knot member wrote item #3 on this list...https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-rules-you-can-break

    Sure, I agree it's pretty insane to expect your guests to pay your entire fancy honeymoon. But I don't think shouting and being haughty really does anyone any favors either. To each their own.
    That article also says it is okay to invite people without their SO if they will know someone else there they can talk to. There is some really bad advice in the official knot content. Again, you can try to justify it all you want, but real everyday people are here telling you that it will be seen as rude. They are right.
    onefootinthebayouOliveOilsMom[Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • I've read that some registries give you a voucher for the entire price of an activity, so that takes the wind out of the whole "you don't get the whole amount" argument.

    Also, I guess a rogue Knot member wrote item #3 on this list...https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-rules-you-can-break

    Sure, I agree it's pretty insane to expect your guests to pay your entire fancy honeymoon. But I don't think shouting and being haughty really does anyone any favors either. To each their own.
    Who shouted in this thread?
    onefootinthebayou[Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • I've read that some registries give you a voucher for the entire price of an activity, so that takes the wind out of the whole "you don't get the whole amount" argument.

    Also, I guess a rogue Knot member wrote item #3 on this list...https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-rules-you-can-break

    Sure, I agree it's pretty insane to expect your guests to pay your entire fancy honeymoon. But I don't think shouting and being haughty really does anyone any favors either. To each their own.
    Who shouted in this thread?
    The same person who was haughty...exactly no one.  
    [Deleted User]
  • Sometimes a honeymoon fund is easier - when I was sending a gift to a friend in another country, I ended up having to wire the money because to send a regular check would result in the check being held for weeks, exchange rate issues, etc.. Back when I was in college and my family would send me money (they are in a different country), it would take weeks to be able to access the money. My grandma would think she was sending me $100 but she was actually sending $55.  So when there are cross-border money gifts a gofundme can be nice. Aside from that though, I do get what many of you are saying. I was thinking of doing one of these to help with the costs (as a reimbursement) but you have all changed my mind. I just won't register and will hope people give money (we live together and don't need any actual gifts, but given the cost of a wedding getting some money back sure would be helpful).
  • stera said:
    Sometimes a honeymoon fund is easier - when I was sending a gift to a friend in another country, I ended up having to wire the money because to send a regular check would result in the check being held for weeks, exchange rate issues, etc.. Back when I was in college and my family would send me money (they are in a different country), it would take weeks to be able to access the money. My grandma would think she was sending me $100 but she was actually sending $55.  So when there are cross-border money gifts a gofundme can be nice. Aside from that though, I do get what many of you are saying. I was thinking of doing one of these to help with the costs (as a reimbursement) but you have all changed my mind. I just won't register and will hope people give money (we live together and don't need any actual gifts, but given the cost of a wedding getting some money back sure would be helpful).
    I would think that the importatnt part of the wedding is that you get married with your loved ones present, not that you get reimbursed for the party you threw.
    image
    Maggie0829ShesSoColdthespeshulestsnowflakeInLoveInQueens
  • Some friends of mine are in there 30's. Second time around for her, first for him. Both already had a house full of stuff. They didn't need any of the traditional wedding gifts. They started a fundraiser and asked guests to just donate to their honeymoon fund instead of buying gifts. I thought it was a great idea. Why not contribute to make their first week together as a married couple special. Way better then a new cutting board in my opinion. They used a company online that charged a fee of 8%. There are new sites that are less. There is one called WeHelpGive.com that only charges like 3% i think.  I don't see how this is bad etiquette . Times are changing and so is what is acceptable. I say do it if that's what is going to make you happy.
    This thread is old, please don't bump old threads for bad advice. There is no need to sign up for a site to take a portion of you or your guests money in order to receive money as a gift. Just don't register. When people ask where you are registered just reply "we didn't register but we are saving up for XYZ". There, done. And no 8% fee scammed out of you or your guests. 
    image
    JediElizabethOliveOilsMomInLoveInQueens
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Some friends of mine are in there 30's. Second time around for her, first for him. Both already had a house full of stuff. They didn't need any of the traditional wedding gifts. They started a fundraiser and asked guests to just donate to their honeymoon fund instead of buying gifts. I thought it was a great idea. Why not contribute to make their first week together as a married couple special. Way better then a new cutting board in my opinion. They used a company online that charged a fee of 8%. There are new sites that are less. There is one called WeHelpGive.com that only charges like 3% i think.  I don't see how this is bad etiquette . Times are changing and so is what is acceptable. I say do it if that's what is going to make you happy.

    NO. This is tacky. My H and I were 41 and 34 on our wedding days. We didn't need any stuff either. So we didn't register. And we paid for our own honeymoon. Asking people for money will ALWAYS be against etiquette.

    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards