Recipe Swap Bridal Shower

Alene236

I am the MOH for my best friend's wedding.  This is the first wedding I have been a part of the bridal party and I have been worrying about how to properly run this bridal shower. 

I came up with the idea for a recipe swap bridal shower because the bride loves to cook and it is something her and her fiance like to do together.  When I asked for her opinion on the theme she loved it and suggested everyone can bring in a dish with the recipe.  I liked the idea but I feel like it is wrong of me to ask for them to bring something AND expect gifts.  Her mother disagrees and says since they are a young couple and do not have much that they should expect gifts from their registry. 

I was going to put a recipe card in the envelope with the invitation for the guests to bring with them but how do I go about this food/gift debacle? I want to honor my friend's wishes but I don't think asking for guests to essentially bring two gifts to the party is the way to go.  Thoughts?

Jen4948

I think that in order to scratch the "bring a dish" from the guests, you'd better change the theme to something not food-related.  Otherwise I think you'll get a lot of declines, because I agree that I would not appreciate being expected to bring a dish as well as a gift to a shower if I were attending as a guest.

aliwis000

Trust your gut. This is rude.

How do you write an invitation to something and then basically ask them to help host it?

No matter how you word it the moment you are asking the supposed "guest" to help host the party it is no longer an invitation, but an order form. I would be beyond pissed if something dropped into my mailbox requesting my company and then informed me I needed to work this event. Um, no thanks. I have a job.

Compromise on the food thing, I think sending the recipe card is fine. I mean, if I didn't want to do it, I do not have to and it is not something that takes a lot of time or money. I just need to either write something down or print it out from my computer.

You might be able to do something like ask if any guests send their recipe to you early and you would pick 3 or 4 to make for the shower. Though I guess then someone MAY get their feelings hurt that you did not pick their dish to make. So I am not sure on that one.

Bottom line: Do not be bullied into this. If you are hosting and its your name on the invite then you look like the butt head asking people to furnish the party even if it was/is the brides idea.

whovianstark

aliwis000 said:

Trust your gut. This is rude.

How do you write an invitation to something and then basically ask them to help host it?

No matter how you word it the moment you are asking the supposed "guest" to help host the party it is no longer an invitation, but an order form. I would be beyond pissed if something dropped into my mailbox requesting my company and then informed me I needed to work this event. Um, no thanks. I have a job.

Compromise on the food thing, I think sending the recipe card is fine. I mean, if I didn't want to do it, I do not have to and it is not something that takes a lot of time or money. I just need to either write something down or print it out from my computer.

You might be able to do something like ask if any guests send their recipe to you early and you would pick 3 or 4 to make for the shower. Though I guess then someone MAY get their feelings hurt that you did not pick their dish to make. So I am not sure on that one.

Bottom line: Do not be bullied into this. If you are hosting and its your name on the invite then you look like the butt head asking people to furnish the party even if it was/is the brides idea.

I like this idea. If anyone gets offended you could just say something about not having the ingredients. And you might get some people to volunteer to make their recipe. I wouldn't ask them to make it however. I love to cook and I would probably volunteer to do it but if I were asked I would feel more pressure OR I would get busy and not be able to make a dish and it would make me anxious. Which is not something you want to put on your guests  

MJKlover

I would also like to add that as someone who couldn't cook the simplest of dishes to save my life, I would feel so out of place if I got an invitation like this. Seriously, if it wasn't for FI's mad kitchen skills, I'd be eating cereal 3 times per day. I would feel like I couldn't contribute to the shower if I can't bring a dish. (Does cereal count?) If there are other guests who similarly suck at cooking, they may not attend just to avoid feeling like a bum for not being able to contribute in the same manner as the other guests.

TrixieJess

As pp's have said, nix the bringing of food and keep the recipe cards. I have been to several showers with recipe cards included in the invites because the brides are huge cooks or bakers. You mat find that some people offer to bring things, it's up to you whether you accept at that point.

kvruns

Recipes cards = good

Pot luck = bad

Plan the food yourself, don't try to make anything from the recipe cards, it is easier to just stick with making yourself or going to the store and that way you don't worry about offending XYZ who's dish wasn't made or whatever.

MnHGirl

My sister hosted my shower and had the invites centered around a kitchen theme. I do not have much for the kitchen so she thought it would be fun to focus around that (guests did not have to buy kitchen items but most did). 

She had asked that the guests bring their favorite recipe and then had a recipe holder by a plate that the guests could sign and then I bake the dish to set in what they wrote and I can use it as a serving dish. 

By doing it that way, if a guest did not bring a recipe it was not noticed even though many guests brought a 3 or 4 which was great! I would have felt uncomfortable if the guests would have brought food to the party. 

One of the games she played was "name the spice". She had 10 different spices in containers that were passed around and the guests had to figure out what they were by looking and smelling. You could definitely tell who the cooks were! The prizes were things like pot holders, measuring cups, cookie mix in pouches, and spices.  

lnixon8

One of the most thoughtful gifts I've received is from FI's cousin. She collected recipes from both families and made us our own cookbook. That would have been more than enough but she printed a copy for every woman at my shower. Everyone loved seeing their recipes in the cookbook and some of them had little anecdotes to go along with them. She saved the document and adds every time there is a wedding in the family.

OliveOilsMom

I have thrown showers like these before.  I include a recipe card in with the invitation and have a recipe card box out at the shower to place all of the collected recipes.  But, I still cook and provide all of the food (along with my co-hosts).  The overall idea of the shower is fine, you just need to provide the food yourself.

wandajune6

I've been to a few of the recipe-themed showers and have never seen anyone bring a dish with them. The idea of it seems a bit strange to me. I agree with the PPs- I'd be put off if I was asked to bring food.

At each of these showers that I've attended, there's always at least one person who can't cook. In one case, the woman wrote in the number of her favorite restaurants for take-out and gifted a gift card to one. In the other, it was a "recipe" with relationship advice (and a gift). It's a safe shower theme.

SP29

Love the recipe card idea, but don't ask the guests to bring the dish, just the card! 

VerizonGirl

You don't bring the actual final food dish to a recipe shower.

You bring the recipe on a card, or,  more popular in recent times, you send the recipe as an email attachment to the MOH who puts them into a digital cookbook...

and you bring whatever you need to cook it with:  a trifle bowl or a brownie pan or a skillet or whatever, plus two spatulas or egg turner or whatever.

So it's actually a COOKING shower WITH recipes.

Jen4948

VerizonGirl said:

You don't bring the actual final food dish to a recipe shower.

You bring the recipe on a card, or,  more popular in recent times, you send the recipe as an email attachment to the MOH who puts them into a digital cookbook...

and you bring whatever you need to cook it with:  a trifle bowl or a brownie pan or a skillet or whatever, plus two spatulas or egg turner or whatever.

So it's actually a COOKING shower WITH recipes.

No way. The bride can do the cooking on her own time and dime, not the guest's. If I'm supposed to be a guest at and bring a gift to a shower, I refuse to bring cooking utensils and supplies to it (that I have to wash and take home later), let alone actually cook.

jacques27

Jen4948 said:

VerizonGirl said:

You don't bring the actual final food dish to a recipe shower.

You bring the recipe on a card, or,  more popular in recent times, you send the recipe as an email attachment to the MOH who puts them into a digital cookbook...

and you bring whatever you need to cook it with:  a trifle bowl or a brownie pan or a skillet or whatever, plus two spatulas or egg turner or whatever.

So it's actually a COOKING shower WITH recipes.

No way. The bride can do the cooking on her own time and dime, not the guest's. If I'm supposed to be a guest at and bring a gift to a shower, I refuse to bring cooking utensils and supplies to it (that I have to wash and take home later), let alone actually cook.

I'm going to hope that what VerizonGirl actually meant was that it's a cooking-themed (or kitchen-themed) shower where you gift the cookware that is needed for the recipe you're sharing.  So, if you were sharing a recipe for a bundt cake, maybe your purchased gift would be a mixing bowl, whisk, and a bundt pan.  Or if you're sharing a recipe for grilled salmon and vegetables, your gift might be a grill pan and fish turner.

Under no circumstances should the guests be expected to provide the food or cook the food at the party though.

Jen4948

jacques27 said:

Jen4948 said:

VerizonGirl said:

You don't bring the actual final food dish to a recipe shower.

You bring the recipe on a card, or,  more popular in recent times, you send the recipe as an email attachment to the MOH who puts them into a digital cookbook...

and you bring whatever you need to cook it with:  a trifle bowl or a brownie pan or a skillet or whatever, plus two spatulas or egg turner or whatever.

So it's actually a COOKING shower WITH recipes.

No way. The bride can do the cooking on her own time and dime, not the guest's. If I'm supposed to be a guest at and bring a gift to a shower, I refuse to bring cooking utensils and supplies to it (that I have to wash and take home later), let alone actually cook.

I'm going to hope that what VerizonGirl actually meant was that it's a cooking-themed (or kitchen-themed) shower where you gift the cookware that is needed for the recipe you're sharing.  So, if you were sharing a recipe for a bundt cake, maybe your purchased gift would be a mixing bowl, whisk, and a bundt pan.  Or if you're sharing a recipe for grilled salmon and vegetables, your gift might be a grill pan and fish turner.

Under no circumstances should the guests be expected to provide the food or cook the food at the party though.

If you're right, that's one thing, but yeah, the shower is not the time or place to do actual cooking.

hyechica81

also if you cant afford to host a full meal shower how about finger foods cheese crakers veggies fruits and dip, punch water coffee tea and some kind of cake and ice cream to go with the cake or cookies. 

keep it simple no way you should be asking the guest to provide the food

my sister was hosting my shower she was in her last year of college she was on a tight budget my mom helped my sister out by paying for everyones meal at this restaurant in the separate  banquet room 

FrenchHouseCat

I think this is a great idea (without the potluck aspect). They have beautiful recipe boxes on Etsy and Rifle paper co which you could get, include a recipe card with invite, and you could set up the pretty recipe box on the gift table. If someone didn't want to share a recipe you could also encourage well wishes written on the recipe card instead, and gift the bride extra blank cards so she can continue to add to the box it in the future.

fyrchk

My wedding shower (of the wedding that was called off due to a cheating bastard...but I digress) was a Pampered Chef party that one of my bridesmaids came up with. I know some people may not like it, but recipe cards were part of the invitation and then we had a cooking demonstration. We also had other types of food there. People were able to buy things from the PC book as a gift to me as well as get items for themselves if they wanted. I also got all of the "hostess points" and was able to get a ton more stuff.

Everyone said how much they loved it although I was sure people were going to hate it or feel obligated to spend more than they normally would. And it was awesome because I had people saying, "I'm buying you these chip clips because I LOVE mine and you NEED them." The favors that were given out were the little $1 seasonal cookbooks that they offer.

A lot of that depends on the crowd though...my circle of friends was REALLY into Pampered Chef.