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audreytucker6

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theartistformerlyknownas

audreytucker6 said:

I don't care that they aren't traditional I just want them to be beautiful and make my future husband know how much I love him. I'm not sure if they should be longer or if it sounds good. Please help! I kind of have a feeling I used the word 'you' too much. 

Jeremy, I am still amazed you chose me. You look so incredible I can't keep my eyes off of you. You have no idea how much you inspire me and everyone around you. You make life so much fun and not so serious. Forever is what I am promising you today but forever isn't long enough. 

Vows should be promises to each other, not profess your love, amazement, or how good each other looks. That's why "to have and to hold," "love, honor and cherish," etc are such classics - they're actual things you're promising to do. Try to focus less on the present and more on the future.

I think it's ok to start out with something like "I love you so much and still can't believe we're here today" (I don't like the 'you chose me' bit, personally - you DID have something to do with this, he didn't just pick you off a shelf!) but then lead into promising HOW you're going to love him and WHEN and WHY etc.I promise to stand beside you through whatever life brings us, I promise to grow together, etc.

DarthV8r

Lolo is right.

chibiyui

I did non-traditional vows. So I had some of the frou-frou lovey dovey stuff in there. But I also had promises in there as well. "I will love you, I will always support you, I will stay up all night and play video games with you, etc etc."

huskypuppy14

audreytucker6 said:

I don't care that they aren't traditional I just want them to be beautiful and make my future husband know how much I love him. I'm not sure if they should be longer or if it sounds good. Please help! I kind of have a feeling I used the word 'you' too much. 

Jeremy, I am still amazed you chose me. You look so incredible I can't keep my eyes off of you. You have no idea how much you inspire me and everyone around you. You make life so much fun and not so serious. Forever is what I am promising you today but forever isn't long enough. 

You can change this up to say something like:

I want your face to be the first thing i see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I promise to inspire you like you inspire me. I promise to make our life fun and rewarding. From this day forward, I choose you Jeremy, to be my husband, friend and partner in life.

buttercup1958

huskypuppy14 said:

audreytucker6 said:

I don't care that they aren't traditional I just want them to be beautiful and make my future husband know how much I love him. I'm not sure if they should be longer or if it sounds good. Please help! I kind of have a feeling I used the word 'you' too much. 

Jeremy, I am still amazed you chose me. You look so incredible I can't keep my eyes off of you. You have no idea how much you inspire me and everyone around you. You make life so much fun and not so serious. Forever is what I am promising you today but forever isn't long enough. 

You can change this up to say something like:

I want your face to be the first thing i see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I promise to inspire you like you inspire me. I promise to make our life fun and rewarding. From this day forward, I choose you Jeremy, to be my husband, friend and partner in life.

This is a good rewrite!

huskypuppy14

buttercup1958 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

audreytucker6 said:

I don't care that they aren't traditional I just want them to be beautiful and make my future husband know how much I love him. I'm not sure if they should be longer or if it sounds good. Please help! I kind of have a feeling I used the word 'you' too much. 

Jeremy, I am still amazed you chose me. You look so incredible I can't keep my eyes off of you. You have no idea how much you inspire me and everyone around you. You make life so much fun and not so serious. Forever is what I am promising you today but forever isn't long enough. 

You can change this up to say something like:

I want your face to be the first thing i see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I promise to inspire you like you inspire me. I promise to make our life fun and rewarding. From this day forward, I choose you Jeremy, to be my husband, friend and partner in life.

This is a good rewrite!

I just took the same format from my vows and used her themes instead.

theartistformerlyknownas

huskypuppy14 said:

audreytucker6 said:

I don't care that they aren't traditional I just want them to be beautiful and make my future husband know how much I love him. I'm not sure if they should be longer or if it sounds good. Please help! I kind of have a feeling I used the word 'you' too much. 

Jeremy, I am still amazed you chose me. You look so incredible I can't keep my eyes off of you. You have no idea how much you inspire me and everyone around you. You make life so much fun and not so serious. Forever is what I am promising you today but forever isn't long enough. 

You can change this up to say something like:

I want your face to be the first thing i see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I promise to inspire you like you inspire me. I promise to make our life fun and rewarding. From this day forward, I choose you Jeremy, to be my husband, friend and partner in life.

Slow clap.

BrinkyDink16

audreytucker6 said:

I don't care that they aren't traditional I just want them to be beautiful and make my future husband know how much I love him. I'm not sure if they should be longer or if it sounds good. Please help! I kind of have a feeling I used the word 'you' too much. 

Jeremy, I am still amazed you chose me. You look so incredible I can't keep my eyes off of you. You have no idea how much you inspire me and everyone around you. You make life so much fun and not so serious. Forever is what I am promising you today but forever isn't long enough. 

Just some thoughts:

Jeremy, I am still amazed that you chose me to spend the rest of your life with.  You look are so incredible I still can't keep my eyes off of you after all this time.  You have no idea I want you to know how much you inspire me, and everyone else around you.  You make our life so much fun, and not so serious.  Today I promise to be with you forever, but forever isn't long enough.

Just a few tweaks here and there, but even if you choose to keep them exactly as they are I think they're really sweet and heartfelt