Wedding Etiquette Forum

Share your story here - tiered/inconsistent hosting

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Re: Share your story here - tiered/inconsistent hosting

  • I went to a wedding a few years ago where I (along with about 300 other people) were invited to a big reception but there was no ceremony, though we were not told that we would not see the ceremony. I later found out that they had invited a smaller group of people the night before to the ceremony followed by a formal and very extravagant 7 course meal. The reception I attended, on the other hand, had a casual buffet, bar limited to cocktail hour only, wine with dinner, and then dancing afterwards.

    So I guess that it was sort a combination PPD/tiered celebration. Either way, I was sort of insulted at the time but I didn't fully understand why until I lurked on TK.

    That is not against etiquette.  They invited you to a party.  They were clear you would not see a ceremony.  It was simply a party to celebrate their union.

    They didn't have a PPD.  More like a AHR that people who have DW's have.  Except on the same weekend.

    But see the bolded - they were not told that they wouldn't be seeing the ceremony. My understanding is that they were under the impression that they were attending the actual wedding, but showed up and it was just a party - the couple actually got married the night before. That seems very PPD to me.

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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
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    I went to a DW last year for two friends and my FI was a groomsman. The hotel they wanted to have the ceremony/reception in was super booked the week before their wedding for a conference and so everyone pretty much had to fly in the day before the wedding. We were told by the B&G that there would be a welcome/rehearsal dinner that first night at the hotel we were all staying at.

    When everyone arrived and got settled in, we asked the B&G what time and which restaurant we should meet at for dinner. The groom let us know that the restaurants in the hotel didn't take big reservations, and so everyone was on their own... .except that wasn't necessarily true. The restaurant could take reservations for up to 10, so the groom made it and invited people to fill up the table (such as his bride-to-be, his best man, best man's gf, etc.). Like the VIP VIP. 

    So what ended up happening was that my FI had to meet with the rest of the wedding party for about 5 minutes to rehearse, and then everyone split up and went to different restaurants. Nothing was not hosted because it was an all-inclusive resort, but the "oh, I guess we can't have dinner with the B&G" feeling kind of sucked. That actually wasn't even the worst part of this particular wedding. I could write a book about the etiquette bullshit that went on here.
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