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Moms and Maids

Shower Attire

This post is part vent part question to get an outsider's opinion.

My bridal shower is this weekend, it's planned at a restaurant at 10am and we'll be having a brunch. I'm wearing a simple, white fit and flare dress and I think most of the girls I've talked to are wearing spring dresses. My FMIL would like my FI to wear dress pants with a shirt and tie. I've already told him that I think he would be overdressed and that a tie is not necessary. I asked my MOH who is planning the shower about his attire and she thinks khaki pants and a button-down shirt would be fine which I agree. My FMIL is known to be overbearing and pushy, and has basically told me that my MOH (my sister) and I are both wrong. He is the groom, he should look his best (which means shirt and tie), etc. while my thoughts are that its an early day time event and he doesn't need the tie.

At the end of the day, I have told him, just wear what you want and will be comfortable in. I want my FI who is a grown man to be able to pick his own outfit. And I know, tie or no tie, is not the biggest deal in the world, mostly its just annoying. Just her overall sense of it is, "I'm right, you're wrong, why would you ever think that way?" and I hate it.

Anyways, I'm thankful for this post so I can vent and if any of you have thoughts on this non-issue that's becoming an issue, please share! :)

Re: Shower Attire

  • molly1236 said:

    This post is part vent part question to get an outsider's opinion.

    My bridal shower is this weekend, it's planned at a restaurant at 10am and we'll be having a brunch. I'm wearing a simple, white fit and flare dress and I think most of the girls I've talked to are wearing spring dresses. My FMIL would like my FI to wear dress pants with a shirt and tie. I've already told him that I think he would be overdressed and that a tie is not necessary. I asked my MOH who is planning the shower about his attire and she thinks khaki pants and a button-down shirt would be fine which I agree. My FMIL is known to be overbearing and pushy, and has basically told me that my MOH (my sister) and I are both wrong. He is the groom, he should look his best (which means shirt and tie), etc. while my thoughts are that its an early day time event and he doesn't need the tie.

    At the end of the day, I have told him, just wear what you want and will be comfortable in. I want my FI who is a grown man to be able to pick his own outfit. And I know, tie or no tie, is not the biggest deal in the world, mostly its just annoying. Just her overall sense of it is, "I'm right, you're wrong, why would you ever think that way?" and I hate it.

    Anyways, I'm thankful for this post so I can vent and if any of you have thoughts on this non-issue that's becoming an issue, please share! :)

    I think his mom needs to back off-- she doesn't get to tell him what to wear anymore as he's a capable adult. Does she tell him what to wear on other occasions?
  • Try to let this go. You're feeling the need to vent over a disagreement between you and your FMIL over your FI's clothes. I mean, really.....

    If you let yourself get worked up over stuff like this, actual issues might make your head explode. Examples of actual issues: splitting holidays, sharing time with grandchildren, family vacations, child rearing practices, etc...
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    MairePoppyhaleyk620
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I didn't realize that attire for a shower needs to be debated so much.  Or even talked/discussed at all.

    You need to let this go and let your FI wear whatever he wants whether that is a shirt and tie to appease his Mom or a pair of PJ pants and a spongebob t-shirt.

  • Something tells me that you and the MOG are coming to heads over a few others issues, no?

    I'd probably give a sarcastic answer to her, "Oh you want him to look his best?  I'll see if we can get his tux ready for that."

    But of all things, this is not that big a deal.  
  • He's a grown adult. I'd assume he can dress himself accordingly.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    So three women are debating over what the adult man will wear? Doesn't make sense, does it? 
                       
    ashley8918[Deleted User]
  • edited May 2015

    My FH wore shorts and a t-shirt to our shower this weekend. I was in a dress. His father made a shitty comment about not being appropriately dressed for the event, except that my FH wasn't actually a part of the party. He was just hiding with his father and grandfather in another part of the house. I didn't care what he wore, he's a grown man, he knew he wasn't a part of the shower so who really gives a crap? His father apparently, but he's a big asshat in general.

    People focus way too much on stupid stuff like this. A tie in your situation is not necessary.

    [Deleted User]
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Mine wore khakis, loafers and a dress shirt. He looked great (hot). Just tell her he is a grown ass man and knows what to do. 
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    [Deleted User]
  • I think this is a non issue and you should just let it go. There are bigger things to worry about during the wedding planning process! Plus, as others have said, he is a grown man and can decide for himself what he wants to wear.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    She is ridiculous.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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