Joining Word on invitation: "to" vs "and"

dresdendoll

Fiancé  and I are hosting our wedding (which will not be at a house of worship) so we're going with the following wording as suggested in the sticky:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

I'm not arguing this wording but I'm just curious about two things.

1)  In this scenario the joining word "and" is used between the bride's and groom's name while when the parents are paying "to" is used. Why is "and" more appropriate here? Crane doesn't even give "and" as an alternative because "the bride is traditionally married to the groom."

2) Why is the word "marriage" used instead of the word "wedding?" I'm not a native speaker but it sounds a bit odd to me since marriage usually refers to your relationship after the wedding. Is this simply meant to refer to the act of getting married?

[Deleted User]

dresdendoll said:

Fiancé  and I are hosting our wedding (which will not be at a house of worship) so we're going with the following wording as suggested in the sticky:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

I'm not arguing this wording but I'm just curious about two things.

1)  In this scenario the joining word "and" is used between the bride's and groom's name while when the parents are paying "to" is used. Why is "and" more appropriate here? Crane doesn't even give "and" as an alternative because "the bride is traditionally married to the groom."

2) Why is the word "marriage" used instead of the word "wedding?" I'm not a native speaker but it sounds a bit odd to me since marriage usually refers to your relationship after the wedding. Is this simply meant to refer to the act of getting married?

Yes!  I love these questions.  Somebody come and explain this to me and the OP, please.

Jen4948

Well, Crane's might be right for very traditional Christian weddings, but with regard to Jewish weddings, you do use "and" and not "to" because both parties are considered equal partners in the marriage.

Edited to add: The use of the word "marriage" should indicate that the guests are being invited to the ceremony that legally and socially, and perhaps religiously, joins the couple in marriage and isn't a public reenactment of an earlier such ceremony (aka a PPD).

southernbelle0915

My understanding of traditional wording (using "to") is because brides were transferred from their families "TO" their groom (in exchange for a dowry). 

We used "and" on our invitations.

CMGragain

The word "and" is used for Catholic weddings, Jewish weddings and for couples hosting their  own weddings.  Most often in the past, the brides parents hosted the wedding, presenting their daughter to  be  married from their home.  This is simply tradition.  There are a lot of traditions that don't make a lot of sense, but weddings bring out the traditions in many families.
There isn't always a good explanation of why something is done a certain way.  Sometimes it is simply custom and tradition.
Marriage and wedding can both mean the same thing.  The wording with "marriage" is traditional. When used as a verb, the words "to marry" and "to wed" are synonyms.  The Catholic church calls the ceremony of marriage ":The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony".  I know!  English is a confusing and difficult language, even for native speakers.