When I was first engaged, my sister was living in another state her best friend, "Amy". While I never discussed the wedding directly with Amy, I did a lot of Skype-ing with my sister (showing her the venue, the dress, etc) as I went along planning. Amy would frequently be in the room and give her opinions, etc as if she was going to be there (IE "I'm a vegetarian so make sure you have a good veggie option", that kind of thing) which I didn't dissuade.
My sister and Amy had a falling out in December, neither of us have really spoken to Amy since. While I have the space to invite her, and I do know her outside of my sister (we work for the same company, which I'll get to in a moment), I don't really want to invite her now.
A good work friend, Carly, moved departments and is now Amy's boss. As we were having our weekly catch up, Carly mentions to me "Oh, Amy was asking about taking time off for your wedding and booking her flight" I bean dipped her, but she knows when my wedding is so it's not like I can hold her off much longer.
If I tell Carly "actually we' haven't finalized the guest list" or something else bean-dippy again, it's basically saying she's not invited and it seems like a jerk move to tell her that through her boss.
Also, obviously, it's a jerk move to tell her directly "hey don't take that time off or buy flights since you're not invited sorry!"
Or I can suck it up and invite her, since I maybe made a faux pas by passively allowing her to discuss the wedding so much with us and I can see where she assumed she'd be invited.
I'm sure there's a third option here somewhere, but I'm just not seeing it. Help please!
