Chit Chat

S/O Baby Names: Non-Mother in Crisis

mrscomposermrscomposer member
500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
edited May 2015 in Chit Chat
I had a bit of an issue this weekend.  I've said on here before
that both J and I were pro-kids growing up, and then slowly turned
anti-kid as we got older.  By the time we got together, he was
staunchly anti-kid, and it was easy for me to decide to be as well. 
But, still, every once in a while I get a little twinge because I went
from wanting four kids to choosing to be good with not having any.

Well,
Saturday, out of the blue, J starts the theoretical baby-name
discussion (WTF, dude).  We both like classic names, and family names,
and decided that our son would be Arthur Craig (my grandpa's name was
Arthur, as was his grandpa's middle name).  Our daughter would have the
middle names Lynn Marie, for the traditional middle names on both
sides.  And then he suggested Lucy for a girl, after his grandma
Lucille.

Lucy Lynn Marie.  You guys, I can SEE her.  She's
perfect, and chubby-cheeked, and pigtailed, and smart, and brave... and
we're not having kids.  And I didn't really even want to tell J that I
was in a crisis, because he said before we got married that he could
deny a girlfriend children, but he couldn't deny his wife - and I didn't
want him to think that I was asking for kids, because I wasn't. 
Anyway, we talked it over and it's all good, but still.  Bad combination
of Mother's Day weekend, and end of my pill pack.

And then today
I slept in, cleaned the house, prepped a week's worth of lunches, did
plot development for an hour, had coffee, paid off the credit card that
bought our honeymoon, ordered my fall perennials... all without
interruption.  And it was glorious.

Anyway.  There's my woe-is-me rant for the month.  Any other anti-kid-by-choice women have issues like this sometimes?
**The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**

Re: S/O Baby Names: Non-Mother in Crisis

  • I have the opposite problem sometimes. SO and I both want kids. It's been thoroughly discussed. But sometimes I think it would be nice to never take on that responsibility and I can see a kid-free life for SO and I.


  • We've decided we're not having kids. But yes, there are times where a tiny, small part of me imagines what it would be like, sort of in a romanticizing way. 
  • mrscomposermrscomposer member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2015
    @climbingwife - I think that's mostly what it is (the romanticizing of it).  I'm the oldest of three siblings, the second oldest of thirteen grandchildren, and the town's babysitter until I moved for college (and a pseudo-career nanny after that).  I've had lots of experience with kids... but have always been able to give them back. 

    @luckya23 - there was a screaming child in Walmart a few weeks ago, and I almost fell over because I was shaking my head so hard.  Oy vey.

    @lolo883 - J's allergic.  So this'll be my Lucy: 
    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • luckya23luckya23 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2015

    @mrscomposer My most recent one was behind me in line at the grocery store.  The kid kept letting out these short, loud shrieks for no apparent reason and there was definitely no attempt to stop it.  I already had a headache and really couldn't get out of there fast enough!

    ETA: Now one of my fb friends just posted: "My 20 month old's tantrums rarely last longer than 10 minutes, so I just let her go if she has one in a restaurant or something - do you think this bothers other people?"

    WHAAAAATTTTTTTT?????

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    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

  • Yea. We were on the fence about whether to have kids. I'm pregnant. I ALREADY fantasize about being an empty nester. A clean house without toys. A quiet Saturday morning. Spontaneously taking off for the weekend. Spending $500 on a spa day instead of sports equipment for their new flavor of the week activity. Taking a vacation to tropical, romantic Bora Bora instead of sticky, crowded Disney World...

    I could go on all day like that. I'm happy about the little one, but I will dearly miss those things. 
    *********************************************************************************

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  • I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 


    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 



    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    What the actual fucking fuck.  Nope nope nope nope.
    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 



    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    I got dizzy just reading that. 
  • I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 



    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    I got dizzy just reading that. 
    Isn't that kind of dangerous?! I thought you weren't supposed to let active labor go on that long.
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  • sarahufl said:

    I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 



    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    I got dizzy just reading that. 
    Isn't that kind of dangerous?! I thought you weren't supposed to let active labor go on that long.
    I'm not a nurse, but I think they got her labor progressing a little better and then it slowed down again so that's why they did the c-section. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • sarahufl said:

    I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 



    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    I got dizzy just reading that. 
    Isn't that kind of dangerous?! I thought you weren't supposed to let active labor go on that long.
    It depends on a couple things, like whether you're still producing enough amniotic fluid and if the baby is in distress. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with her staunchly refusing a C; you know they have to look down on that as some sort of failure. 

    A friend of mine brags about being in labor for 60 hours, even though her poor baby ended up with a bruised face from being in the birth canal for so long. But she avoided that dastardly C-section, gosh darn it! >.<

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    image
  • sarahufl said:

    I watched Jill Duggar's birth episode. She was in labor for 70 hours before they did a c-section. 



    SEVENTY.                          HOURS. 


    Nope. I want no part of that. Not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the baby, not the kid, not the adult kid. Fuck that. 
    I got dizzy just reading that. 
    Isn't that kind of dangerous?! I thought you weren't supposed to let active labor go on that long.
    It depends on a couple things, like whether you're still producing enough amniotic fluid and if the baby is in distress. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with her staunchly refusing a C; you know they have to look down on that as some sort of failure. 

    A friend of mine brags about being in labor for 60 hours, even though her poor baby ended up with a bruised face from being in the birth canal for so long. But she avoided that dastardly C-section, gosh darn it! >.<
    Yikes.

    I tell myself that the "was in labor 60 hours!" stories are about total labor, like the kind where you have a contraction but it's not debilitating. If it's 60 hours of active labor while admitted to the hospital, then I can't. My brain literally rejects that as a possibility. I love the notion of natural birth, am anti-"medicalizing" etc. etc....but if it gets past 24 hours of actual pushing/pain, I'll be begging for the knife.
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • I have the opposite problem sometimes. SO and I both want kids. It's been thoroughly discussed. But sometimes I think it would be nice to never take on that responsibility and I can see a kid-free life for SO and I.

    Same here.  We've decided on one, and we're going to start trying as soon as we're married this fall.  I'm excited about it, but at the same time I think I'd be OK if it didn't work out and we stayed child-less.  The money is the main reason I'd be OK with not having one if that's how it ended up.  Kids are expensive and we like to have nice things.  We can't afford both, so the nice things will wait for awhile.
    Married 9.12.15
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  • I want a baby so badly it hurts. However:

    BFF is due any day now. We text regularly and she's miserable - her hip hurts, she's peeing constantly, she's uncomfortable and - while I love the girl - she's the size a hippo. Which is crazy because she was modeling when she got pregnant.

    Also, a few of DH's nieces and nephews are amazing birth control. They running around screaming, are ridiculously picky eaters, cry over everything, and only seem to be happy once they've exhausted all adults and made them give in to whatever they desire. Some of them are lovely and pleasant company, others make me want to buy a box of condoms.

    Also, Lucy Lynn Marie sounds like a family name for my family as well - and very close to my own namesake!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • Yikes.


    I tell myself that the "was in labor 60 hours!" stories are about total labor, like the kind where you have a contraction but it's not debilitating. If it's 60 hours of active labor while admitted to the hospital, then I can't. My brain literally rejects that as a possibility. I love the notion of natural birth, am anti-"medicalizing" etc. etc....but if it gets past 24 hours of actual pushing/pain, I'll be begging for the knife.
    Yep, actually in the hospital that entire time. That will NOT be happening here. I don't want to put either myself OR Tidbit through that. Nobody's throwing anybody any parades for "natural"childbirths; I'm all about letting your body do what it's "supposed" to do but if it isn't doing the trick, get the kid out. We have the technology!

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