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June 2015 Weddings

Just a vent..

Just need to vent, feel blue for a minute...

FI and I live in Arizona, grew up in Ohio (opposite sides of the state..met in Arizona). When we got engaged, we decided we wanted a small wedding in Arizona, with those who knew us best, so mostly friends (I've never met his extended family/vice versa..we don't travel to Ohio much).

So we picked a place, and a package for 50 people. We invited 52 (don't panic, I knew one person could not come, but still wanted to send her an official invite).

Now we're a month away, and the RSVP's are coming back, and we've gotten a lot of declines. I understand it, lives are busy, hard to get off work, etc. FI also invited some of his coworkers, but then they said they couldn't come unless their kids could come, but we were tight on space and stuck with our "no kids" policy, so they all declined. He also changed jobs in the middle of all this and I think they just didn't feel as big of a priority to come. So now we're at 35 people.

It just makes me a little bummed. There are people we maybe would have invited, but didn't because we did expect everyone to try their best to come. I'm not b-listing or anything so it is what it is. I just feel sad I think because I've spent a lot of time, and money planning this day, and now not many will be there. I *know* the point of the day is to  get married, and I do focus on that, I just wanted to vent/whine..

Re: Just a vent..

  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2015
    Honestly, I can get where you're coming from re: feeling disappointed about guests declining. I recently got a couple of declines back from people I was sure would come, and yeah, it made me a little sad. 

    My best advice is just not to think about who you would have invited if you had known (and as you acknowledged B-listing should never be an option), and be grateful for the ones who are able to take the time/effort/money to watch you get married! It also helps me to remember that while my wedding is super important to me and FI (and our families), it's just not as important to everyone else.

    I have just tried to frame the declines in another light. For example: We have a tight budget, and there are some food options we would have loved to go with had we been able to originally. If some people cannot attend, that means we have a little more money to put toward food! It's kind of like we B-listed our menu.

    And your wedding will be wonderful, whether there are 50 or 35 people there.

    Edited to fix formatting
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @cgss11

    How many months in advance did you send out the RSVP? or was it by word of mouth? Sometimes a person's job won't let them get off or some people cannot find babysitters.  Don't let the number count keep you from having an awsome day!
  • I know how you feel :( The funny thing is, I kinda knew that we were going to get a lot of declines because both of our families are so spread out, so my fiance and I invited 60 families, and expecting at least 100 people. What I didn't think would happen that most of the declines would come from my family from Indiana. We are getting married in Arkansas, and I thought most of them would be able to make the trip, but only eight are able to attend. 

    I started to wallow in my own self-pity when I received many accepted RSVPs from my fiance's family. A tad of jealousy, and bitterness. I wished my family had the enthusiasm for the wedding as his did. But in the end, I reminded myself that the most important person to me will be there for sure: my one true love. Of course, my parents. My little sisters, The ones I hold near and dear.

    You're going to look back at this day as the best day of your life. Now, it's depressing, but on your Big Day, you will have other things on your mind. You might fleetingly think, "I wish so and so was here," but the moment you turn around and see all the ones you love and him standing there smiling at you, it doesn't matter anymore. :)
    You're going to have an AWESOME day! Chin-up girly :) 
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