A quick wedding recap

thisismynickname2

Forgive me for "vaguebooking" here, but I don't know if the bride in question reads TK. 

There were tons of weddings the day of this particular event-- I saw so many bridal parties out taking pictures, so many different weddings on my Facebook...

This event didn't have enough seats for dinner. I'd say 90% of guests had seats. By the time my friends and I arrived, people who had gotten there when the place opened had already marked their territory. My friends told me they tried to sit at a table and someone kicked them out, saying they were keeping those seats for their own family! It was buffet style so table assignments weren't needed. In my area, sit down dinners with table assignments are the norm. 

Luckily everything else about the wedding was great, but I won't forget the look on one of my friend's faces when she told me she couldn't find a place and had gotten shooed. There were people standing with their dinners at the high-boy tables. 

My husband stealthily nabbed us two chairs together and then we tore up the dance floor. This couple won't know how awful the seating situation was because they were circulating and then dancing all night. 

I heard through the rumor mill it was partially the venue's fault. They changed the layout and space of the event area after the couple signed the contract and sent STDs based on a higher number expectation. 

charcoalandblush

Ughhhhhh so annoying! It's one thing to not have enough chairs for the ceremony. Super annoying and a huge etiquette mistake, but also I feel like there's even a difference between expecting people to stand for a 20 min ceremony and asking them to eat dinner standing up.

kvruns

yuck. So like 20 people with no seat or 5 people? Not that it matters just curious

badbnagdway

So to me having a buffet is no reason to not do table assignments. We did buffet dinner and still had table assignments - we also had one table of 8 set-up with no one assigned to it so that vendors, like our photographers, could sit down and grab a bite when it was convenient for them. That empty table also was a great back-up in case we had people show up who didn't RSVP (to my knowledge we did not have that but my coordinator said it happens a lot). I have heard that when you choose not to have a seating plan, the polite thing to do for your guests is to provide 10% extra seating for the guests, so that people who know each other can sit together. It sounds like this wedding went the other way. 

Edit just to add: I love when this happens. A bride friend of mine, her wedding is later this year, originally said she would not be doing any kind of seating plan. I understand this can work but their families are like ours, not everyone can be near each other. Also many guests will not know more people than who they came with. Anyway, my friend went to a wedding without a seating plan, and, perhaps, not enough seats (I think she said they sat in the lounge because they couldn't find a table) and magically my friend wants to do a seating plan! Sometimes people just have to see their ideas play out to change their mind. 

thisismynickname2

yuck. So like 20 people with no seat or 5 people? Not that it matters just curious

It was a lot of people. 

Agree with PP that there should always be more than enough seats for open seating. Plus then there's this weird dynamic of, "Can I sit with the bride or is that table quasi-reserved?" "Can I sit with the parents of the groom...?"

anjemon

badbnagdway said:

So to me having a buffet is no reason to not do table assignments. We did buffet dinner and still had table assignments - we also had one table of 8 set-up with no one assigned to it so that vendors, like our photographers, could sit down and grab a bite when it was convenient for them. That empty table also was a great back-up in case we had people show up who didn't RSVP (to my knowledge we did not have that but my coordinator said it happens a lot). I have heard that when you choose not to have a seating plan, the polite thing to do for your guests is to provide 10% extra seating for the guests, so that people who know each other can sit together. It sounds like this wedding went the other way. 

Edit just to add: I love when this happens. A bride friend of mine, her wedding is later this year, originally said she would not be doing any kind of seating plan. I understand this can work but their families are like ours, not everyone can be near each other. Also many guests will not know more people than who they came with. Anyway, my friend went to a wedding without a seating plan, and, perhaps, not enough seats (I think she said they sat in the lounge because they couldn't find a table) and magically my friend wants to do a seating plan! Sometimes people just have to see their ideas play out to change their mind. 

This. The main reason I was so adamant about doing a seating plan were two college friend's weddings. The first one did buffet and no seating plan - I was at the head table so I had an assigned seat, but my parents came and ended up on the end of a table with people who were younger and didn't want to talk to them. I felt bad. And then my other college friend's wedding didn't do table assignments and because we took our time getting to the reception space, our college friends got split up among a bunch of tables. I ended up sitting with a family who was perfectly nice, but I really wanted to be able to sit with my friends. I also think sitting with a bunch of slightly drunk college kids wasn't how that family wanted to spend the dinner time.

redoryx

Yeah, I don't get the logic that buffet = no assigned seats.

If it's a Sunday and I'm going to a restaurant for their brunch buffet, I can't just walk in and sit at whatever table I want. Even if I have a reservation, they will still take me to a specific table.

yogapants

I've been to plated, buffet, and family style wedding receptions and they've all had seating assignments. Imo making a seating chart might be a bit of a pain for the bride and groom, but not having one is sure to be a pain for a number of your guests.