How to Tell the Bridal Party We Aren't Providing a Limo

[Deleted User]

Originally I thought I was going to get a limo to drive my bridal party to the church and the reception; however, Fi and I are going over our budget and we realized that there were some hidden costs we had not anticipated.  We need a larger car to drive us, because my dress is a ball gown.  I can rent a t town car  with a driver for less money, but it would only accommodate me and my Fi.   My wedding is about two month away, is it too late to tell my bridal party that we've canceled the limo and they can drive themselves to the church/reception?  

My bridal party has expressed that they don't want to drive themselves on the day of the wedding. I feel like I'm going to open up a whole mess when I tell them no limo. 

banana468

They can be disappointed but if you don't have it in the budget then it's not in the budget.

Sometimes people like using the limo as the "drunk bus" and it's fun but it's also a luxury that's easily eliminated.  

jacques27

So, what is your other option?  Spend money you don't have because you don't want to disappoint people?

Just tell them, and tell them now.

"Hey, everyone.  I know we were all looking forward to having a limo, but it turns out it's just not feasible with our budget.  Sorry to disappoint.  Everyone will need to drive themselves."

Quick and simple.  It's not like you're euthanizing their pet - they'll get over it.

[Deleted User]

Just be upfront about not providing a limo because it's outside of your budget and that everyone will need to drive themselves.  It shouldn't be a problem for them.

[Deleted User]

I had mentioned possibly getting a limo a while back (while in the initial planning process) and I researched several companies. We left the limo plans to the very end (because a limo is a luxury), we recently realized there was no money left in our budget for one.  My bridal party (through my initial conversations) took that as a definite and started asking me questions regarding the transportation a few weeks ago.  When I said I didn't have a limo booked, they flipped.   They apparently thought I was providing a limo service for the entire night, along with a room block and transportation back to the hotel after the reception.

I stated to them I never said that I was doing any of those things, just researching the possibility.  They flipped and got upset with me!  I grew up in a more upper middle class area where it seems things like stretch hummer limos and party buses are the norm and not the exception.  

I tried to tell them they have to drive themselves, but it created a huge mess.  I felt pressured and told them I would look into it again.  They assumed (again) that I was going to provide one.  After looking at our budget again, it's just not possible.

I'm a very drama free person and I just don't want to have to listen to people complain about not providing a limo or party bus. 

sheknows6

Again, a limo is a luxury and in no case something that should be assumed is going to be provided for anyone. 

If they get upset, honestly, then let them be upset. If it's not in your budget then it's just not in your budget; they have no right really to even say anything to you beyond "Is there a limo? No? Oh that's too bad, ok then, thanks for letting me know!"

Just as brides should not expect anything from their bridesmaids except showing up in a dress sober-ish, bridesmaids should not expect anything from the bride beyond being fed and properly hosted. A limo or lack thereof doesn't factor into being properly hosted.

Jen4948

I'd just tell them directly, "Unfortunately, FI and I have found that it's not going to be possible for us to lease a limo, so please plan for your own transportation to the church and the reception."

If they get upset, you can say, "I apologize for getting your hopes up" but offer no other apologies or regrets.

jacques27

Knottie29408529 said:

I had mentioned possibly getting a limo a while back (while in the initial planning process) and I researched several companies. We left the limo plans to the very end (because a limo is a luxury), we recently realized there was no money left in our budget for one.  My bridal party (through my initial conversations) took that as a definite and started asking me questions regarding the transportation a few weeks ago.  When I said I didn't have a limo booked, they flipped.   They apparently thought I was providing a limo service for the entire night, along with a room block and transportation back to the hotel after the reception.

I stated to them I never said that I was doing any of those things, just researching the possibility.  They flipped and got upset with me!  I grew up in a more upper middle class area where it seems things like stretch hummer limos and party buses are the norm and not the exception.  

I tried to tell them they have to drive themselves, but it created a huge mess.  I felt pressured and told them I would look into it again.  They assumed (again) that I was going to provide one.  After looking at our budget again, it's just not possible.

I'm a very drama free person and I just don't want to have to listen to people complain about not providing a limo or party bus. 

Well, then you probably should have made friends with people who aren't inclined to complain about not having luxury items provided to them free of charge on your dime.  Unfortunately, that doesn't sound like the friends you got, so if that comes with complaining, then so be it.  You explain and then move on.  If you don't have the budget, you don't have the budget - end of story.  Tell them and get it over with.  Leading them on with unrealistic expectations just because you don't like confrontation is just going to make it worse in the end when you finally do have to tell them.

"Sorry there was a misunderstanding where you thought the limo was a definite thing, but it was dependent on cost and how much was left in the budget.  We just don't have the money for it."

southernbelle0915

"We can't afford to provide a limo." 

Do you honestly have friends who will bitch and moan about that? Talk about first world problems.... They can rent their own limo if they think one is absolutely necessary.

loveislouder

I told my bridal party I wasn't having a limo and my sister was the only one that got mad so I told her if she wanted one that badly, she could rent one for everyone. So she started looking into it and called me and apologized because "Holy fuck. That shit's expensive."

novella1186

southernbelle0915 said:

"We can't afford to provide a limo." 

Do you honestly have friends who will bitch and moan about that? Talk about first world problems.... They can rent their own limo if they think one is absolutely necessary.

This. 

100% of our WP had to come in from out of town. They all stayed for the weekend. One of the GMs found a beach house to rent, and invited all the other WP members and their SOs to stay at the beach house. All but 2 people stayed there, and they all split the cost so it was far more affordable than a hotel. 

Then they all carpooled to our RD. 

They planned all of this on their own, without my involvement, and without me providing anything for them. 

I assume the members of your WP are adults. If they have a problem with not having a limo (which is a shitty thing for them to bitch about, because other people don't get to make demands about what you do with your budget and your money) then they can arrange something themselves. Car pool or have a DD or get their own stupid limo. 

haleyk620

My FI and I were also unable to fit a limo for the entire bridal party in our budget. Thankfully we cam up with an alternate plan to transport everyone where they need to be on the big day. We are going to use three all black vehicles (owned by various persons within our families) and just have an all black motorcade driving around town! FI and I are actually more excited about this than renting a limo for everyone. 

AddieCake

I wouldn't be the least bit concerned about telling them. Shit happens. You aren't required to provide them transportation. If they don't want to drive themselves, they can call a cab. 

[Deleted User]

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thisismynickname2

I'm sorry your friends are being shitty about this, and hope they come around and see how they're acting like spoiled children. 

Just a suggestion if you continue to feel the pressure- there are other types of transportation. School buses are really cheap! The suggestion above about a few town cars could be reasonable. 

Otherwise people are going to have to just grow up and find themselves, or volunteer to be, a designated driver.