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What should I purchase for my bridesmaid?

I have one bridesmaid in my bridal party. Since I knew she would have to travel, I offered to purchase her dress. She declined my offer. I only asked that she wear a navy blue dress that she felt comfortable in. She picked her dress (and it's lovely!), purchased her flights and booked her hotel for the trip.

Now I'm getting the awkward texts about reimbursing me for hair/makeup and a few gifts I purchased. I paid for these items because she's one of my best friends and I thought it would be a nice way to thank her for standing by my side. She wants to know how much I've paid for each item so she can write me a check when she gets here. I told her not to worry about it because I wanted to buy these for her, but she has asked several times since then. I'm not sure what to think at this point. I'm letting it go, but I was wondering if anyone else has any similar experiences?

The whole wedding thing has been a unique experience with her (I've posted here before). I feel like she doesn't want to feel like she owes me anything since we've grown apart over the last few months. Our lives have changed because life happens! I don't want things to be awkward because I'm getting married, but I feel like she's mad at me for moving forward before her (she has timelines - must be married by age **, have 1st child by ** etc). I even tried to schedule a mani/pedi when she arrives and a blow out at drybar which is her favorite place, but she turned me down both times. I'm just a little confused. Any advice? I don't want to lose her as a friend just because I'm getting married.

I'm getting married this weekend, and I've finally reached the point where I can relax and just enjoy the moment. Planning has been hectic! I just hope everyone else has a good time during their visit as well.

Re: What should I purchase for my bridesmaid?

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited May 2015
    hmr08 said:

    I have one bridesmaid in my bridal party. Since I knew she would have to travel, I offered to purchase her dress. She declined my offer. I only asked that she wear a navy blue dress that she felt comfortable in. She picked her dress (and it's lovely!), purchased her flights and booked her hotel for the trip.

    Now I'm getting the awkward texts about reimbursing me for hair/makeup and a few gifts I purchased. I paid for these items because she's one of my best friends and I thought it would be a nice way to thank her for standing by my side. She wants to know how much I've paid for each item so she can write me a check when she gets here. I told her not to worry about it because I wanted to buy these for her, but she has asked several times since then. I'm not sure what to think at this point. I'm letting it go, but I was wondering if anyone else has any similar experiences?

    The whole wedding thing has been a unique experience with her (I've posted here before). I feel like she doesn't want to feel like she owes me anything since we've grown apart over the last few months. Our lives have changed because life happens! I don't want things to be awkward because I'm getting married, but I feel like she's mad at me for moving forward before her (she has timelines - must be married by age **, have 1st child by ** etc). I even tried to schedule a mani/pedi when she arrives and a blow out at drybar which is her favorite place, but she turned me down both times. I'm just a little confused. Any advice? I don't want to lose her as a friend just because I'm getting married.

    I'm getting married this weekend, and I've finally reached the point where I can relax and just enjoy the moment. Planning has been hectic! I just hope everyone else has a good time during their visit as well.

    This is several issues that should be separated:
    1.) Gift reimbursement: Next time she mentioned it I would call her (not text) and say "Friend, as I have said before, I bought those for you as a gift. I recognise you are trying to be helpful, but it is making me feel a bit sad because I wanted to buy you those presents to show my love and appreciation for you. Can we just agree that I will let you know when something needs to be paid for by you beforehand, and we can just assume anything else is my gift to you?"

    2.) As for the mani/pedi etc, just leave it. You invited her and she declined. It will only get awkward if you let it get awkward. Maybe see if she is free for a drink or something non-wedding related when she is in town. Have you talked to her at all about what is going on in her life?

    3.) If she has "timeline" issues then that is her issue and I wouldn't touch that with a barge pole. I would think she will quickly realise how silly that is when she actually gets near those ages. Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.
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