I think my FB is planning a PPD

JaniV123

I have this really good friend (childhood friend but we still talk etc) and she "ran away" and got married to her marine BF (I thought they were best friends since a few months before she told me she didn't like him that way) anywho, I go on fb one day and they had a courthouse wedding. YAY wedding!! 

Well for some time now I have seen her posting "wedding ideas" on fb and pinterest and tagging her husband saying "whenever you want hubby". 

Well apparently a friend of their is offering to plan their beach "wedding" now. 

SO yeah just when you think you won't have a personal encounter with one of these... 

[Deleted User]

I have a HS friend who is doing this too, and all of my friends see no problem with it at all. She isn't even telling people that she IS already married. I found out from my BF who is closer to her than I am. Basically she had a JOP wedding (totally cool and fine), so she could live with H (military), and told her parents and maybe a friend of two. To everyone else she is just saying "I am getting married on XYZ!!" 

Gross. And I am shocked to encounter it IRL.

ETF: words

peachy13

I was in a PPD last year. Asked to be a BM before the courthouse wedding was even an idea, and then a few months later got a text from the bride with her husband holding the marriage certificate. I called her right away congratulating her and then she something along the lines of "we had to do it for military purposes, but don't worry we're still having our real wedding!!" These situations suck IRL and I was standing like this next to her at the real wedding's hour-long mass in front of friends and family members who had no idea the B&G were already married:

RezIpsa

One of my best friends is having one in October. A DW to an expensive all inclusive where if they get a certain number of rooms booked the reception is free. I know he is clueless that any of this is awful, which makes it harder to watch. It is also something there is a LOT of talk about among our friends, and not in a good way.

I love my friend, but I am declining. I don't have 2K to waste on a legit DW, let alone a PPD. And declining makes me feel bad. So it's just an awesome situation no matter what I do.

charcoalandblush

Soooooooooo many people in my real life have PPDs. I was in one for my cousin like 7 years ago, didn't know until the rehearsal dinner that she was already married. Went to Mexico for one in February, didn't know until like a month before that they were already married. It never bothered me a ton until I joined TK but now that I understand the reasoning, it drives me crazy.

jenna8984

Ugh this girl on my FB is having hers next month. She got married in October and told the world- she literally posts pro pics of it EVERY single week. Like I don't know if she's "finding" more pictures or just keeps reposting the same ones but it's fucking obnoxious. Her PPD is in a few weeks so she's been posting nonstop about "who has the cutest wedding coasters? I do!" and all this stupid stuff that would annoy me even if it were the real wedding lol.

I'm the MOH in a wedding next month and I just got the invitation in the mail. I was thrown off because it said join us to celebrate the marriage of x & y. Which seemed like weird wording to me, usually that's the wording for an after party. Then I looked at the return envelope and it was made out to Mr. & Mrs. soandso. I texted her immediately and said "Are you bitches married already or did you just fuck up on the return labels?" Luckily she confirmed that she had bought the labels thinking of the afterwards thank you notes, and they were not married.

[Deleted User]

jenna8984 said:

Ugh this girl on my FB is having hers next month. She got married in October and told the world- she literally posts pro pics of it EVERY single week. Like I don't know if she's "finding" more pictures or just keeps reposting the same ones but it's fucking obnoxious. Her PPD is in a few weeks so she's been posting nonstop about "who has the cutest wedding coasters? I do!" and all this stupid stuff that would annoy me even if it were the real wedding lol.

I'm the MOH in a wedding next month and I just got the invitation in the mail. I was thrown off because it said join us to celebrate the marriage of x & y. Which seemed like weird wording to me, usually that's the wording for an after party. Then I looked at the return envelope and it was made out to Mr. & Mrs. soandso. I texted her immediately and said "Are you bitches married already or did you just fuck up on the return labels?" Luckily she confirmed that she had bought the labels thinking of the afterwards thank you notes, and they were not married.

I love that you straight up called her out on her potential assholery.  That is excellent.

JennyColada

One of my FB friends got engaged over the summer (last year) and was posting about planning meetings with wedding coordinators etc.

Well a few months later she announces that they got married a week before their "engagement", but she's since stopped talking about wedding things. So I like to think that someone set her straight and she decided to come clean.

jenna8984

adk19 said:

jenna8984 said:

Ugh this girl on my FB is having hers next month. She got married in October and told the world- she literally posts pro pics of it EVERY single week. Like I don't know if she's "finding" more pictures or just keeps reposting the same ones but it's fucking obnoxious. Her PPD is in a few weeks so she's been posting nonstop about "who has the cutest wedding coasters? I do!" and all this stupid stuff that would annoy me even if it were the real wedding lol.

I'm the MOH in a wedding next month and I just got the invitation in the mail. I was thrown off because it said join us to celebrate the marriage of x & y. Which seemed like weird wording to me, usually that's the wording for an after party. Then I looked at the return envelope and it was made out to Mr. & Mrs. soandso. I texted her immediately and said "Are you bitches married already or did you just fuck up on the return labels?" Luckily she confirmed that she had bought the labels thinking of the afterwards thank you notes, and they were not married.

I love that you straight up called her out on her potential assholery.  That is excellent.

Thanks! If it were just a random friend's wedding I probably wouldn't have said anything, but since I'm MOH I figured I had a right to know lol

JaniV123

charcoalandblush said:

Soooooooooo many people in my real life have PPDs. I was in one for my cousin like 7 years ago, didn't know until the rehearsal dinner that she was already married. Went to Mexico for one in February, didn't know until like a month before that they were already married. It never bothered me a ton until I joined TK but now that I understand the reasoning, it drives me crazy.

exactly this! My MOH got engaged was starting plan their wedding (this was March last year) come May they found out she was pregnant and had a courthouse wedding. No plans of having a big she bang or anything. And it was great (minus her awful morning sickness keeping her feeling bleh the whole time *sadness*) . 

Hell Fi kept saying we should elope since the beginning (joking but at the same time seriously) and since I wanted the big wedding etc and he understood we went the second route. 

With all the recent drama there have moment where I think the intimate us and witnesses would have been great but then I know I would have regretted it in the future. 

[Deleted User]

Went to one without realizing it, until the bride (a very close friend) drunkenly admitted at the end of the night, technically their anniversary would be in December... (wedding in February)... I'm like excuse me... she's like yeah, I didn't plan it, H called me and told me we were going to the court house, we did it for tax reasons hahaha so funny blah blah blah.

Not funny.  When she went upstairs (this was at hotel bar), my friend and I were pissed. FI and her boyfriend didn't get the big deal... but we were not happy, especially since we drove 2 hours in the snow (and got a flat tire on the way, not their fault but I might not have made the effort to go had I known) to watch them perform a ceremony when they were already married.

Chipmunk415

Gal from my law school eloped with the guy who knocked her up the December after we graduated. Two years and as many kids later, they had a big white ppd with the children in attendance, her in a full white gown and veil that looked similar to the one from her prior marriage (in cut and style, but close up images indicated she got another dress), him in a tux, and full bridal party. Ugh.

Gal from hometown got knocked up, family insisted on a wedding before she began to really show (old school hard core catholics who would see a child born out of wed lock as a shame on the family) From the photos, it looked like a nice, intimate wedding (though from years of knowing this girl, she's a Narcissist to make novellas sister look like a kind, thoughtful, and selfless person ). But her fb is blowing up with plans for her big celebration, as her wedding was too small with only 30 family members in attendance and she wants it to "be real." Taking bets on whether she's going for a full blown ppd.

charcoalandblush

Went to one without realizing it, until the bride (a very close friend) drunkenly admitted at the end of the night, technically their anniversary would be in December... (wedding in February)... I'm like excuse me... she's like yeah, I didn't plan it, H called me and told me we were going to the court house, we did it for tax reasons hahaha so funny blah blah blah.

Not funny.  When she went upstairs (this was at hotel bar), my friend and I were pissed. FI and her boyfriend didn't get the big deal... but we were not happy, especially since we drove 2 hours in the snow (and got a flat tire on the way, not their fault but I might not have made the effort to go had I known) to watch them perform a ceremony when they were already married.

FSIL's husband wanted to do this! They got married the first week in Jan and he told her "let's just go to the courthouse on the 31st because then we'll get tax benefits for this year." She refused (for good reason) because she knew her mom would freak if her big white dress wedding wasn't actually her wedding.

Weirdly, FSIL fiercely defended their cousin's PPD in Mexico to me. She just didn't understand why the Mexico wedding wasn't the "real" wedding. Except that for her own wedding she obviously realized it. Talk about cognitive dissonance.

randomslove

If I had a friend like that on FaceBook, I'd delete her. That's because
I'm a veteran and I don't take getting married for the benefits lightly,
though. And that's how I view people who get married and plan a
"wedding" later. Especially those who marry military men or women for
the benefits, planning a "real wedding" later. We veterans have names
for them. None of them are nice.

julieanne912

randomslove said:

If I had a friend like that on FaceBook, I'd delete her. That's because
I'm a veteran and I don't take getting married for the benefits lightly,
though. And that's how I view people who get married and plan a
"wedding" later. Especially those who marry military men or women for
the benefits, planning a "real wedding" later. We veterans have names
for them. None of them are nice.

My cousin did this.  Three times.  Never made the marriage last long enough to get to the "real wedding" though.  She's now on husband 4, who is retired military.  I think she's around 30 years old.

dolewhipper

There's a secret PPD going on with a girl I used to be friends with from work. We were still friends on FB after she left the company, and the rumor was that she had already married her foreign BF so he could stay in the country.

Well, being the nosey person I was, I just looked it up on the public record. And lo and behold, she's been married since December. She would post about her "wedding" and how her MOH got her cute little "bride" things and she calls her H her Fi. I really just wanted to post "WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM YOU Fi WHEN HES YOUR H" or post something really snarky like, "I heard you got married already, congrats!" and when she would say no, say, oh I heard about it and I looked it up, you better call the Clerk of Courts then!

I had to defriend her. 

[Deleted User]

Oi. People are so strange. Same friend I mentioned above posted a photo yesterday saying she got engaged, BUT SHE IS ALREADY MARRIED. They are treating this like an engagement until the "real wedding." I'm very close to ramming my head into a wall. It stinks because she is a wonderful person, but in this specific area she is very, very wrong.

flutteringinfl

I strongly suspect that my friend is going to have a honeyfund. She and her FI have been together over 10 years, so I could easily see the, "We don't need anything!" excuse being used. She mentioned to me once that they were worried that most of their friends would have to be invited without their SO's, which doesn't automatically mean honeyfund of course, but indicates she's a little etiquette tone-deaf. But the thing that really makes me think it is that on her wedding website, under registry, they wrote, "Coming soon..." and posted a picture of Tahitian bungalows. I love her to death but I really wouldn't put it past her to not understand the issues. Dreading the reveal...