Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

What do you remember most?

Hi, ladies!
I just began the serious wedding planning. We have a small budget and simple tastes. So all this fuss over finding the perfect, coordinated centerpiece/linens/napkins/invitations/favors/music etc., ect. seems a little silly. (I know, it's blasphemous to say that on TheKnot....) Honestly, I don't think any of that stuff matters. I'd elope if FI would agree to it. (He won't.)

So, what do you remember most about your wedding? Do all these details seem so important after the fact? Do you regret spending all that time/money on the little stuff? Or are you glad you did it?

Re: What do you remember most?

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    My new husband and I did everything ourselves.  We even had our family do the placecards two days before the wedding.  The only thing I spent $$ on was flowers because that was so important to me.  What I remember most is that we had the most beautiful sunny day.  We got married in a park and had the florist set up ceremony and it was perfect.  One thing I would have changed.  We did not assign a friend to act as MC and it caused us some stress.  The dinner was taking too long and we did not have the mic ready to announce the move to the dance floor (in separate room).  I was so afraid people would leave b/f realizing there was dancing after dinner!  Good luck and have fun,
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    I agree that the photographer is one vendor to not skimp on.  After all, after the day has passed, your pictures are the one tangible item to hold on to.  We had a couple friends share videographer duties as a way to save money.
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    I definitely agree that the photographer and food were are big priorities.  I didn't want my guests walking away feeling like they had another dry piece of wedding chicken.  And I definitely wanted a fantastic set of photographs to capture my day, and a photographer that I wouldn't mind spending all day with (seriously, you spend more time on your wedding day with your photographer than any other person including your FI/DH).

    I would say that everything else is extras.  I really enjoy DIY and I got to spend quality time with my DH and my mom on those projects, so for me, those things did matter.  But people won't tend to remember if you spent $50, or $500 on your centerpieces.  And most venues will include linens and napkins, and it really isn't necessary to upgrade them if it's not your style.  I opted to upgrade my linens and not napkis, and I liked the linens I chose but they weren't 100% necessary. 

    What's important is that you enjoy the process, to be a good hostess and try to make your guests feel comfortable. 
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    We remember dancing and having a good time with our guests the most!

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    The thing I remember most is sobbing, litterally like a baby, as I was walking down the isle with over 200 guests watching me have a mental breakdown, because my son was in a car accident 1 week before the wedding and was in a coma for 3 days. He was supposed to walk me down the isle. It was a sad day, not a happy one and in the last week of planning I was sitting in the hospital with him wondering if he would wake up and if he did, if he would be a normal 18 year old ever again (which he did and after much therapy is mostly back to normal).  It was in that week that I realized all the little details like the color of the mints and the napkins matching the dresses perfectly and the previous 6 months of searching for the perfect music didn't matter.  Ladies, it's really not about those little things, yes, I would love to do it all over again with my son there, but I guarantee I wouldn't spend all the needless months stressing about the little stuff.
    One thing I do wish I would've planned a little more was the videographer.  I didn't even think about it until the day of the wedding when I was frantically calling my family members asking them to bring their video cameras so my son could at least watch the video.

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    I remember the how great the day was overall.  My DJ was great and we danced all night, and so did my guest.  I guess I alway rember what a great time I had.
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    I agree with you totally, details aren't important.  At first, in planning, I was all about details then as the monthes grew closer I stopped caring until the month of, I totally didn't care anymore.  To me the most important thing was a venue with natural charm (so we didn't have to spend money decorating it), a good photographer, good food, and music that would get the party going.  We spent all of our budget on these things and DIY the rest and we have had TONS of compliments with people saying it was the best wedding they have ever atteded. 

    Ultimately do what DH and I did, make a list of vendors in the order of importance to you and work your way through your budget.  Is photography the most important thing?  The food?  The cake?  Pretty flowers?  If cake is super important, safe the money there and hire a DJ.  Are you ok with just a cousin running an iPod for the reception?  Cool, spend that money on a videographer....its all up to you!
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    I can't say that the  details aren't important. I get that to some people, for different reasons, they may not be THE most important thing, but on some level if you are planning an event that you want to flow smoothly and represent who you are as a couple, the details cannot be avoided.

    True, you don't need fancy napkins and linens and such, but its all about personal preference (as are most things wedding related, honestly). I don't think that a simple DIY wedding  is necessarily better than a well planned, coordinated event at a very nice hall or's just what is important to the couple. A cake and punch wedding can be every bit as sweet and enjoyable as a $30-40k or more wedding. If that is what you are about as a couple, then that is what is important. But that doesn't mean that those who want more are wasting their time on "needless details" that will be forgotten. If that bride remembers every detail of her wedding, then that's all that matters for her. JMO...
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