GAH! Two gift registries and a Honeyfund - this is real life

badbnagdway

I feel slightly sick to my stomach and really annoyed at some friends of ours whose wedding is coming up later this year. Bride started registering for housewares and such more than a year before the wedding. She has created two registries for those types of gifts. Fine. Bride also created a GFM page for a home improvement project. Well, not my favorite, but it seemed like she relented on that and took it down before too many people would have seen it. Phew. One of them had mentioned that the other of them wanted to do a honeymoon registry at one point and I pointed out that gosh, those sites take a lot of the money and frankly people will give them money anyway, especially if they keep their registry small. 

So I go on her registries just now because I was thinking about what we might want to get them, and I see that they have added a flipping Honeyfund. So now they have two registries full of housewares AND a Honeyfund, and they have the NERVE to say (paraphrased for their anonymity) "Hey friends and family, your presence is the only present we need but we have a house full of everything we need so we are registering for our honeymoon." 

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. YOU HAVE TWO REGISTRIES FOR MORE HOME STUFF BUT DON'T NEED THE HOME STUFF SO ALSO YOU WANT MONEY?

I'm just really so mad. Having just gotten married I know how awesome a gift cash is so I was thinking we'd get a couple of smaller things off of their registry and then give them a nice check. Now I want to give them coal in their fucking stocking. 

EDITED title because I can't count. 

southernbelle0915

That doesn't make a ton of sense. I'd be concerned that they were planning to return the housewares for cash....shadyyyy!

The only reasonable gift would be a metal chicken.

[Deleted User]

southernbelle0915 said:

That doesn't make a ton of sense. I'd be concerned that they were planning to return the housewares for cash....shadyyyy!

The only reasonable gift would be a metal chicken.

Agreed.  Either a metal chicken or an engraved pewter cake stand.

badbnagdway

adk19 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

That doesn't make a ton of sense. I'd be concerned that they were planning to return the housewares for cash....shadyyyy!

The only reasonable gift would be a metal chicken.

Agreed.  Either a metal chicken or an engraved pewter cake stand.

Oh man. I would love to put a giant metal chicken at their door RIGHT NOW. 

I am so annoyed I went and looked at their conventional registries again -- they registered for over 85 items between the two registries, not including duplicate items like multiple place settings. 

luckya23

Can I interest you in a seashell tea set? New with tags!

SepiaTone

I actually gave my parents metal chickens for their anniversary one year. Regardless, though, your friend might have had all those registries foisted on her. A wedding I attended last year, the bride and groom each started a registry because they couldn't agree on what they wanted, and both wanted very different things.

That said, buy them something useful and small from their registry, but I'd say no cash. If they really want the registry items, they'll be gracious and use them. If they are just trying to sneak in a way to get cash, make them work for it since they didn't have the gumption to just ask for money.

southernbelle0915

luckya23 said:

Can I interest you in a seashell tea set? New with tags!

omg, that would make an amazing white elephant gift! 

badbnagdway

Can I interest you in a seashell tea set? New with tags!

I feel like my grandmother would really like this, actually. 

SepiaTone said:

I actually gave my parents metal chickens for their anniversary one year. Regardless, though, your friend might have had all those registries foisted on her. A wedding I attended last year, the bride and groom each started a registry because they couldn't agree on what they wanted, and both wanted very different things.

That said, buy them something useful and small from their registry, but I'd say no cash. If they really want the registry items, they'll be gracious and use them. If they are just trying to sneak in a way to get cash, make them work for it since they didn't have the gumption to just ask for money.

On the first bolded, I think this is a little bit what happened  -- I suspect the bride wanted the conventional registries and the groom wanted a Honeyfund. Rather than come to a reasonable compromise they did both. But to me that kind of doesn't forgive it to me. Honeyfunds are often presented with the phrase "oh, we have what we need, so send us on a trip". Clearly they decided to present it that way even though they ALSO registered for $4k+ worth of housewares. To me that is just so tone deaf. 

And, to the other bolded, a Honeyfund IS asking for money. For one thing, the couple is in no way obligated to actually use the money in the way it is described. They even registered for plane tickets. Umm, I happen to FUCKING KNOW that they ALREADY booked their plain tickets, and that they booked them FOR LESS THAN THE AMOUNT THEY REGISTERED FOR. 

This is a transparent and gross play for cash. I REMAIN ENRAGED. 

allispain

badbnagdway said:

Can I interest you in a seashell tea set? New with tags!

I feel like my grandmother would really like this, actually. 

I actually gave my parents metal chickens for their anniversary one year. Regardless, though, your friend might have had all those registries foisted on her. A wedding I attended last year, the bride and groom each started a registry because they couldn't agree on what they wanted, and both wanted very different things.

That said, buy them something useful and small from their registry, but I'd say no cash. If they really want the registry items, they'll be gracious and use them. If they are just trying to sneak in a way to get cash, make them work for it since they didn't have the gumption to just ask for money.

On the first bolded, I think this is a little bit what happened  -- I suspect the bride wanted the conventional registries and the groom wanted a Honeyfund. Rather than come to a reasonable compromise they did both. But to me that kind of doesn't forgive it to me. Honeyfunds are often presented with the phrase "oh, we have what we need, so send us on a trip". Clearly they decided to present it that way even though they ALSO registered for $4k+ worth of housewares. To me that is just so tone deaf. 

And, to the other bolded, a Honeyfund IS asking for money. For one thing, the couple is in no way obligated to actually use the money in the way it is described. They even registered for plane tickets. Umm, I happen to FUCKING KNOW that they ALREADY booked their plain tickets, and that they booked them FOR LESS THAN THE AMOUNT THEY REGISTERED FOR. 

This is a transparent and gross play for cash. I REMAIN ENRAGED. 

Yeah, that's just plain shady. I'm going to go with something personalized/engraved so that they can't return it. A nice picture frame perhaps?

[Deleted User]

badbnagdway said:

On the first bolded, I think this is a little bit what happened  -- I suspect the bride wanted the conventional registries and the groom wanted a Honeyfund. Rather than come to a reasonable compromise they did both. But to me that kind of doesn't forgive it to me. Honeyfunds are often presented with the phrase "oh, we have what we need, so send us on a trip". Clearly they decided to present it that way even though they ALSO registered for $4k+ worth of housewares. To me that is just so tone deaf. 

And, to the other bolded, a Honeyfund IS asking for money. For one thing, the couple is in no way obligated to actually use the money in the way it is described. They even registered for plane tickets. Umm, I happen to FUCKING KNOW that they ALREADY booked their plain tickets, and that they booked them FOR LESS THAN THE AMOUNT THEY REGISTERED FOR. 

This is a transparent and gross play for cash. I REMAIN ENRAGED. 

As you should be.

SepiaTone

badbnagdway said:

Can I interest you in a seashell tea set? New with tags!

I feel like my grandmother would really like this, actually. 

SepiaTone said:

I actually gave my parents metal chickens for their anniversary one year. Regardless, though, your friend might have had all those registries foisted on her. A wedding I attended last year, the bride and groom each started a registry because they couldn't agree on what they wanted, and both wanted very different things.

That said, buy them something useful and small from their registry, but I'd say no cash. If they really want the registry items, they'll be gracious and use them. If they are just trying to sneak in a way to get cash, make them work for it since they didn't have the gumption to just ask for money.

On the first bolded, I think this is a little bit what happened  -- I suspect the bride wanted the conventional registries and the groom wanted a Honeyfund. Rather than come to a reasonable compromise they did both. But to me that kind of doesn't forgive it to me. Honeyfunds are often presented with the phrase "oh, we have what we need, so send us on a trip". Clearly they decided to present it that way even though they ALSO registered for $4k+ worth of housewares. To me that is just so tone deaf. 

And, to the other bolded, a Honeyfund IS asking for money. For one thing, the couple is in no way obligated to actually use the money in the way it is described. They even registered for plane tickets. Umm, I happen to FUCKING KNOW that they ALREADY booked their plain tickets, and that they booked them FOR LESS THAN THE AMOUNT THEY REGISTERED FOR. 

This is a transparent and gross play for cash. I REMAIN ENRAGED. 

badbnagdway
I hadn't really heard of honeyfunds before today, but thanks for letting me know. (I thought maybe they had to be spent on the honeymoon as specified by a TOS or something.)

I agree with @allispain in that case. Maybe personalized painted wine glasses, though? With a note saying you can't wait to open a bottle when they get back from their whirlwind trip.