Weddit: Where we think it's okay to charge admission at a wedding.

lauracollin2015

As seen in the comments section of a thread about Go Fund Me weddings:

Some friends of mine actually charged people to come to their wedding. I know that sounds gross, but hear me out. They have a huge friend network and were a queer couple so didn't have much support from family. They realized they could either invite all their friends and not serve any food or booze, or they could have the food/booze but only invite a tiny fraction of their friend group. They didn't like the sound of either of those, so they got creative. They charged people $65 to attend their wedding and made it open to pretty much anyone who wanted to come. They insisted on absolutely no gifts, and made sure to let people know they should not in any way feel obligated to attend if they couldn't afford it (or didn't want to). They also told everyone the wedding would be a highly entertaining event (with the money they were able to afford circus performers!) so they'd get their money's worth, and any money they had left over got donated to a charity that helped transgender youth. I'm sure they lost a few friends who thought charging for a wedding was tacky, but it was worth it to them. I thought it was great.

NotTheOnlyOne

Is this real life?

ashtsb

no no no no no

I won't go to bar/club that as a cover charge let alone a wedding!

friarphysics

ellemillz said:

As seen in the comments section of a thread about Go Fund Me weddings:

Some friends of mine actually charged people to come to their wedding. I know that sounds gross, but hear me out. They have a huge friend network and were a queer couple so didn't have much support from family. They realized they could either invite all their friends and not serve any food or booze, or they could have the food/booze but only invite a tiny fraction of their friend group. They didn't like the sound of either of those, so they got creative. They charged people $65 to attend their wedding and made it open to pretty much anyone who wanted to come. They insisted on absolutely no gifts, and made sure to let people know they should not in any way feel obligated to attend if they couldn't afford it (or didn't want to). They also told everyone the wedding would be a highly entertaining event (with the money they were able to afford circus performers!) so they'd get their money's worth, and any money they had left over got donated to a charity that helped transgender youth. I'm sure they lost a few friends who thought charging for a wedding was tacky, but it was worth it to them. I thought it was great.

I'm usually a lurker here, but I just saw this on reddit and had to come over to make sure I wasn't taking crazy pills. This is one of the worst wedding-related things I've ever read! To the bolded - wtf? I can't imagine how the guests felt seeing circus performers at a wedding they were charged $65 to attend. If I am going to pay to attend a performance, I at least what to be able to choose the type of show!

mikenberger

What in the actual fuck?

colasuda

Totally gross. To be fair, though, that's in a thread bashing GoFundMe weddings and that comment is getting downvoted.

I'm a member of both communities and this little rivalry is kind of hilarious (in a good way.) I like Weddit for pictures of dresses and rings, and I like you Knotties for etiquette advice and snark.

allispain

Yeah, there are plenty of etiquette-approved ways that you can host a lot of people on a smaller budget. Charging people to attend? So very much not one of those ways.

sophhabobopha

Grosssssssssssssssss

sassercake12

colasuda said:

Totally gross. To be fair, though, that's in a thread bashing GoFundMe weddings and that comment is getting downvoted.

I'm a member of both communities and this little rivalry is kind of hilarious (in a good way.) I like Weddit for pictures of dresses and rings, and I like you Knotties for etiquette advice and snark.

So am I, and the people in that thread who are like "you don't know their circumstances you big meanie" are hilarious. I like the sub most of the time, but I really don't like how people think any criticism is bullying. That's not how life works.

colasuda

sassercake12 said:

colasuda said:

So am I, and the people in that thread who are like "you don't know their circumstances you big meanie" are hilarious. I like the sub most of the time, but I really don't like how people think any criticism is bullying. That's not how life works.

Agreed. Some people just need a thicker skin. Especially when venturing out into Internetland.

SepiaTone

Ok, odd question, but was this a cultural thing? My office mate and her fiance both went back to her home country to get married, but she asked me to help with trying to coordinate some things on this end of things for her. Apparently, there is a tradition of just getting money, with the expectations that the guests usually pay enough to make up for the cost of the reception. You don't, however, ask for gifts, and you don't ask for the money.

loveislouder

In Manitoba, there are wedding socials where the bride and groom rent a hall, charge people 10 buck for a ticket to get in, then sell booze and silent auction tickets (where the majority of the prizes are collected by handing out letters to various retailers and friends in hopes they donate something.) There's a DJ, and by around 11 they bring out either bread, garlic sausage, cheese, pickles and sandwich meat or pizza.

Not only do I find this incredibly tacky, but someone I'm friends with on facebook had social that turned out to be a wedding reception. Like, they got married secretly during the day, and then had this social at night, which turned out to be their reception.

Just ew. 

TrixieJess

loveislouder said:

In Manitoba, there are wedding socials where the bride and groom rent a hall, charge people 10 buck for a ticket to get in, then sell booze and silent auction tickets (where the majority of the prizes are collected by handing out letters to various retailers and friends in hopes they donate something.) There's a DJ, and by around 11 they bring out either bread, garlic sausage, cheese, pickles and sandwich meat or pizza.

Not only do I find this incredibly tacky, but someone I'm friends with on facebook had social that turned out to be a wedding reception. Like, they got married secretly during the day, and then had this social at night, which turned out to be their reception.

Just ew. 

We have Stag and Does in Ontario. I refuse to go to them. They are tacky as fuck. Thankfully in my circle of friends, they are unacceptable, but I do see them pop up in my FB feed for friends of friends.

loveislouder

TrixieJess said:

loveislouder said:

In Manitoba, there are wedding socials where the bride and groom rent a hall, charge people 10 buck for a ticket to get in, then sell booze and silent auction tickets (where the majority of the prizes are collected by handing out letters to various retailers and friends in hopes they donate something.) There's a DJ, and by around 11 they bring out either bread, garlic sausage, cheese, pickles and sandwich meat or pizza.

Not only do I find this incredibly tacky, but someone I'm friends with on facebook had social that turned out to be a wedding reception. Like, they got married secretly during the day, and then had this social at night, which turned out to be their reception.

Just ew. 

We have Stag and Does in Ontario. I refuse to go to them. They are tacky as fuck. Thankfully in my circle of friends, they are unacceptable, but I do see them pop up in my FB feed for friends of friends.

See... and our Stag and Does are just wedding showers where both men and women are invited. What a difference a boarder between province can make. 

peachy13

Speaking of weddit and speaking of stag and does... there is a thread there now regarding a stag and doe party that happened over the weekend that turned into a surprise wedding instead. So what I gather is that the B&G made people family and friends pay for stag and doe tickets but instead they were just charging admission to the wedding. Surprise! 

Bubblegum5586

SepiaTone said:

Ok, odd question, but was this a cultural thing? My office mate and her fiance both went back to her home country to get married, but she asked me to help with trying to coordinate some things on this end of things for her. Apparently, there is a tradition of just getting money, with the expectations that the guests usually pay enough to make up for the cost of the reception. You don't, however, ask for gifts, and you don't ask for the money.

My step family is from Cambodia and this is how they do it. They invite whoever wants to comes, there is no RSVPing you just show up. My step sister had 450 people come to hers... they were prepared for 400 and had to toss up 5 more tables last minute. Guests bring money to cover their cost, no set amount but they all have a general idea of what to give. It is actually part of the wedding reception for the B&G and WP to go around and collect this money. The guests have fun with it, by holding the money up high, or making you take shots etc. I felt so awkward (I was a BM) I was told that any shots the bride turned down I HAD to take (it's an honor thing and the other BMs were pregnant or underage!) Luckily my dad ended up getting most of the shots and was pretty hammered by the end lol

JBee85

Delete. Can't post links.

TheCheeseWench

 

loveislouder said:

In Manitoba, there are wedding socials where the bride and groom rent a hall, charge people 10 buck for a ticket to get in, then sell booze and silent auction tickets (where the majority of the prizes are collected by handing out letters to various retailers and friends in hopes they donate something.) There's a DJ, and by around 11 they bring out either bread, garlic sausage, cheese, pickles and sandwich meat or pizza.

Not only do I find this incredibly tacky, but someone I'm friends with on facebook had social that turned out to be a wedding reception. Like, they got married secretly during the day, and then had this social at night, which turned out to be their reception.

Just ew. 

Seriously? They solicit items from friends and businesses? I get hit up at least 2 or 3 times a month for auction donations for CHARITY EVENTS. If every person in town hits up businesses/people they are acquainted with for their wedding, we'd all go broke giving our shit away for free!

LD1970

Holy shit, I think I know the couple in the OP.  Seriously.  Or at least one of the husbands involved, if this was a male gay wedding.  

How many gay couples can their be charging precisely $65 for tickets to their wedding, having crazy performers (no mention of circus on the website I know of, but burlesque and other performers), insist on no gifts (but if you want to donate toward the wedding, that's spiffy & some of the proceeds of both gifts & tickets were going to charity), and say if you can't make it, we understand?

It has to be them.

And yes, I got the Facebook event invitation, no I didn't go.  I'm sure it was an absolute blast, but I was too busy cringing at all the wrongs on their website.