Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
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Re: EXPIRED

  • I couldnt read it all ill have to come back to it hahah but all i could so so far was WOW. I am SO sorry all that happened to u. now after reading this I guarentee I am going to have even more wedding nightmares than I already have (my wedding isnt until next aug) I hope things look up and you get to enjoy some time with your husband.. btw maybe u can try to sell ur wedding stuff that you are done w make a little extra cash 

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  • Holy Crap!! In like 50 years it might (MIGHT) be funny. I cannot believe you didn't injure anyone during all of this!

    I wish you and your hubby all the best and a happy ever after!!

    <3
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:29a3a546-8cf0-4384-999a-f0dea6f0fadb">(Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Over all, there was good and bad. But for whatever reason, we feel so let down and disappointed by several different aspects of our wedding and celebration, <strong>we're almost angry about it and we both feel strongly that we want to "un-friend" quite a few people</strong>  1) Events prior to our big day. a) <strong>Wedding party never helped with anything</strong>.
    Posted by jaschelle[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am not reading that novel even if you manage to put in proper paragraphs. I got this far and just quit. Your WP was never meant to be free labor. If you're "un-friending" people over that, then you were a crappy friend to begin with.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:801fec6f-5a0c-4753-8092-8f0e5fbd043e">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I couldnt read it all ill have to come back to it hahah but all i could so so far was WOW. I am SO sorry all that happened to u. now after reading this I guarentee I am going to have even more wedding nightmares than I already have (my wedding isnt until next aug) I hope things look up and you get to enjoy some time with your husband.. btw maybe u can try to sell ur wedding stuff that you are done w make a little extra cash 
    Posted by keyshkeyshx04x[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>No worries, I am sure your wedding will be beautiful and perfect in every way. In the end, regardless of the bumps in the road, you acomplish what you set out to- marrying your best friend. Just remember that and you will stay sane. :) </div><div>
    </div><div>we are definitely planning to sell or rent a lot of our wedding decor. We paid cash up front for 40 of the $55k, so we only have 15k to go. We budgeted it at 1000 per month for 15 months. Hopefully we can swing a bit more from time to time and get it paid off sooner. And anything we rent or sell will be applied directly to the balance as well.   </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:b0200f97-f018-4954-9c63-99b0fec50537">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Holy Crap!! In like 50 years it might (MIGHT) be funny. I cannot believe you didn't injure anyone during all of this! I wish you and your hubby all the best and a happy ever after!! <3
    Posted by koriebutler[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Than you for your kind well wishes. They are appreciated. It is really nice to know some people can be understanding. I know we will have a beautiful happily ever after <3 </div><div>Best wishes to you as well! :)</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:7cbdde08-2b16-44ac-8ae9-335975b3697d">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other) : I am not reading that novel even if you manage to put in proper paragraphs. I got this far and just quit. Your WP was never meant to be free labor. If you're "un-friending" people over that, then you were a crappy friend to begin with.
    Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Well, I never expected "free labor" therefore that would not be why I would be "un-friending" people. Since you couldn't get through the novel- one example is my MOH who bowed out because she admitted that she couldn't deal with having to share me with my fiance (now husband) she blatantly admitted her jealousy. I think that is a pretty good reason. Others were simply rude and disrespectful- I have no need for them anymore. </div><div>
    </div><div>I have always been known as the sweet one- the nice girl- the one that everyone can count on for anything- anything last minute. When anyone needs something- I jump. I come to the rescue and fix things- I make things right. And apparently everyone has taken that for granted. So good riddens! </div><div>
    </div><div>My own fault for letting people walk all over me for so long. They probably just figure "Oh it's just Mishka- she'll be fine, she always lets everything just roll off her back. I'm sure she will still pick me up from the airport next week at a moments notice- or the bar when I text her at 2am that my other friends left me behind because I was too busy flirting to leave when I could have had a ride." Yeah- news flash, I now offer my friendship to those that show me friendship. 
    </div>
  • First off... please simplify posts.  I stopped reading after a while since many issues were kinda related

    I'm noticing that communication problems are most of your issues that you listed.  It seems like you let a lot of people walk all over you and therefore you didn't get what you wanted in the end.
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  • Wow, I also gave up about halfway through. I hope that writing it all our here was therapeutic for you & can help you move on. With the exceptoin of the WP issues, I think the rest are all unfortunate occurances that you need to move on from. Why hold on to things like vendors getting preggers & finding new ones? I agree with PP that it seems like you may have some issues with communication and letting others take advantage of you. It seems like a lot of vendors tried to screw you over, a lot more than normal. Maybe since you were planning from far away, they thought they could pull the wool over your eye?

    Regardless, all of that is over. Forget all of the negativity. So your BS & B-party were a bust. Hey, at least they tried to throw one! Many don't even get that. (and 510 invitations for the BS? That must be a typo). I don't know how I feel about you planning your DH's B-party, but it's done anyway. I helped organize & haul things to our car at the end of my wedding, so don't get all upset over that. Just enjoy your new life & let it all go. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:09c9d0c4-8dae-4429-8908-6b9e14d9b815">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I also gave up about halfway through. I hope that writing it all our here was therapeutic for you & can help you move on. With the exceptoin of the WP issues, I think the rest are all unfortunate occurances that you need to move on from. Why hold on to things like vendors getting preggers & finding new ones? I agree with PP that it seems like you may have some issues with communication and letting others take advantage of you. It seems like a lot of vendors tried to screw you over, a lot more than normal. Maybe since you were planning from far away, they thought they could pull the wool over your eye? Regardless, all of that is over. Forget all of the negativity. So your BS & B-party were a bust. Hey, at least they tried to throw one! Many don't even get that. (and <strong>510 invitations for the BS? That must be a typo)</strong>. I don't know how I feel about you planning your DH's B-party, but it's done anyway. I helped organize & haul things to our car at the end of my wedding, so don't get all upset over that. Just enjoy your new life & let it all go. 
    Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

    <div>I was going to ask about this, too. Was it a blanket facebook event or is that (hopefully) a typo?</div>

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  • This absolutely sucks.((((HUGS)))) I'm glad you feel better after venting. I read all of it and was smh the whole time. I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin as well, condolences to you and your family. I wish you and DH a lifetime of joy and happiness!
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    65 Cannot wait to party! image
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    80 Looking for the mailbox image
  • Geez...was there anything positive about your wedding?
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  • Goodness gracious. Sounds like you nitpicked your wedding to death. Perhaps lowering your expectations would have helped you not be so disappointed.

    Please tell me you did not invite 510 people to your bridal shower. No wonder invites went out late.. that must have taken forever to do!

    I hope your marriage goes smoother and easier for you.
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  • I honestly could not read it all but from what I read- It sounds like there are major communication problems. I agree with the advice the PPs gave on it. 
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  • I also just caught that you will be paying your wedding off for the next 15 months...WTF? Did you take a loan for your wedding? Ugh..
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  • CvilleClaireCvilleClaire member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited July 2012
    Oh, Michelle, I'm so sorry that you two are so upset.

    There are things on your list that most people would have just sailed over, but you've made them into massive obstacles.  Fixating on these things is not healthy.  It's okay to be a little sad that everything wasn't exactly perfect, but then you move on.  I'm worried that you and Jason seem to be wallowing in what didn't go according to your expectations instead of what did or what you can do now to remedy the 1 or 2 things that bother you the most.

    For example, I wasn't happy with my hair on my wedding day (it rained).  So, we're planning a post-wedding shoot with our photographer to get some nice portraits on a day when there won't be humid.  :)

    Can you think of a couple things you can fix (the house being messy?) and let the rest be water off a duck's back?
  • I couldnt even read through the entire thing. It made me upset. I am so sorry you went through that with selfish people ( I had to stop at the bridal party) . 
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  • chrmunchrmun member
    500 Comments
    edited July 2012
    Wow.  Just, wow.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't read the whole thing, because I'm not insane.  Seriously, that thing was almost 4000 words.  That's longer than some term-papers I've written.  I have news: no one finds you as interesting as you find yourself.  (It's a sad fact for all of us.)
    That having been said, I skimmed it like I do most of the things you post, and I can't shake the idea that your problems often seem to be a result of your unrealistic expectations or your choosing to focus on negatives. Your life is going to be as hard as you make it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:a9f252e8-0670-47f5-93a5-4916482708f1">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow.  Just, wow.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't read the whole thing, because I'm not insane.  Seriously, that thing was almost 4000 words.  That's longer than some term-papers I've written.  I have news: no one finds you as interesting as you find yourself.  (It's a sad fact for all of us.) That having been said, I skimmed it like I do most of the things you post, and I can't shake the idea that your problems often seem to be a result of your unrealistic expectations or your choosing to focus on negatives. Your life is going to be as hard as you make it.
    Posted by chrmun[/QUOTE]

    I need a like button.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:a9f252e8-0670-47f5-93a5-4916482708f1">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow.  Just, wow.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't read the whole thing, because I'm not insane.  Seriously, that thing was almost 4000 words.  That's longer than some term-papers I've written.  I have news: no one finds you as interesting as you find yourself.  (It's a sad fact for all of us.) That having been said, I skimmed it like I do most of the things you post, and I can't shake the idea that your problems often seem to be a result of your unrealistic expectations or your choosing to focus on negatives. Your life is going to be as hard as you make it.
    Posted by chrmun[/QUOTE]

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  • In Response to Re:Super Long! H :[QUOTE]Wow.nbsp; Just, wow.nbsp; Don't get me wrong, I didn't read the whole thing, because I'm not insane.nbsp; Seriously, that thing was almost 4000 words.nbsp; That's longer than some termpapers I've written.nbsp; I have news: no one Rtfinds you as interesting as you find yourself.nbsp; It's a sad fact for all of us.That having been said, I skimmed it like I do most of the things you post, and I can't shake the idea that your problems often seem to be a result of your unrealistic expectations or your choosing to focus on negatives.nbsp;Your life isnbsp;going to be as hard as you make it. Posted by
    chrmun[/QUOTE]

    Couldn't have said it better myself!!
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  • I DID actually read the whole post, and I can sympathize with some of your disappointments. I am really, really sorry about your cousin, I can't imagine dealing with a tragedy like that right before a "happy" occasion. And I am angry about the WP I wasted my money on, it sucks when you are burned by vendors. 

    HOWEVER, it seems like you set yourself up for your disappointment. The greatest your "vision" and expectations, the more you set up yourself to be disappointed. You invited 500 people to Hawaii, of COURSE you are going to have a huge decline rate. You expect yourself to memorize your VERY LONG vows, of COURSE you are going to have to look at the paper. Mine were 175 words and I can memorize ANYTHING...I read from the paper that day. You choreograph an elaborate dance...setting yourself up to mess up. You expect people to throw parties, clean up, save your flowers, etc and of COURSE they have their own lives/worries to think about and let you down. 

    Also, I understand people have large families and they have a lot of people to invite, but if you invite 500 people and then kvetch that you didn't get many gifts...it makes you look hella gift-grabby. 

    Basically, all that stuff above sucks. But you control how you deal with it now. So you can wallow, or you can choose to be happy. I recommend the latter. Before you start planning a VR that will disappoint you just as much. 
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  • I wandered over to this board, so I hope you don't mind a little Stranger comments.

    I did read the whole thing. That really sucks, after putting that much effort and planning into it that so much went wrong (whether by chance or sucky people). My condolences on your cousin (I lost one of mine a few years ago -- so difficult) and I sincerely hope that your married life only goes up from here.

    Most of all, congratulations on your marriage!
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  • Wow. I read up until you left Hawaii (God help me) and then I think I stroked out when I saw that I wasn't even halfway through.

    Anyway, seriously, if THIS many things bothered you about your wedding, I don't know what to tell you. I really don't. I just can't imagine finally being married to the love of my life and not being able to find ANY joy in the event. You got married! Nothing else that went down should matter!

    I'm not sad that [if what PP indicated is correct] you're now in a ton of debt (100% your own fault), or that your wedding wasn't perfect ... but I am really sad that somebody could truly be this miserable over a bunch of details that don't matter.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • I read the grand majority of it. 
    I cannot believe you are complaining about gifts! We hardly got any gifts and we are literally starting with NOTHING. No spoons, no plates, no pots, pans or sheets. Most of what we got is hand-me-downs from people. I bought my sheets. 
    And you know what? I have NOT and will NOT complain about gifts or lack of, that makes me sick.

    I feel like if you are really going to focus on all of these negative things you have too much time on your hands. I get that you are disappointed, but seriously....
    Build a bridge and get over it.

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  • gmg75241gmg75241 member
    100 Comments
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:29a3a546-8cf0-4384-999a-f0dea6f0fadb">(Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Over all, there was good and bad. But for whatever reason, we feel so let down and disappointed by several different aspects of our wedding and celebration, we're almost angry about it and we both feel strongly that we want to "un-friend" quite a few people  1) Events prior to our big day. a) Wedding party never helped with anything.  b) I'm from NY living in TX so everyone I wanted in my bridal party couldn't make it due to work and financial constraints. :( I didn't have any of my friends and family around during this special time. I had been really home sick, so this was hard. c) First MOH got pregnant (which I was happy for her) she was due the week of the wedding and therefore could not attend :( A blessing I know, but I wish she could have been there.  d) Second MOH (Who requested to be MOH) bailed after admitting that she is jealous of my now Husband and she couldn't deal with giving me up! Friendship ended. e) Bridesmaid requested to be bumped up to MOH- okay, but she said she never heard of having a bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding program, and so on. She and my one other bridesmaid constantly talked about one another and how neither of them could ever get in contact with the other. I could hardly ever get in contact with either of them and when I could I was always stuck in the middle. It was so stressful!!! f) Bridal Shower: MOH waited until the week of the shower to mail out invites- out of 510 people invited, 2 were able to make it. I simply wanted to cry. Oh and the hoast was late when we got there and we had to stand out side of her house until she arrived. Oh yeah and the other bridesmaid didn't even show up! Again, none of my family or friends could attend. G) Bachelor party: H had 2 best men. 1 was his brother who is useless. The other was his cousin who lives in KS but has recently had some personal issues. Long story short: I waited and waited for ONE of them to organize the party and it never happened so I took matters into my own hands so my H could have a decent party. I organized the whole thing and spent a ton of money getting a party bus and buying food for all the guys I got to come. Cousin- BM couldn't make it, even though we offered to pay for him to fly down. H was very disappointed with that. Overall the party went great and H had a wonderful Bachelor Party experience.  H) The bachelorette party: Ha! MOH waited and waited to email a list I gave her months in advance. She emailed people with about 4 days notice! Other bridesmaid couldn't make it again. MOH rented a party bus which made me feel bad because I saw she was trying- but if she planned it better or in advance, it would have turned out. Not One Single Person Showed!!!! It was just she and I. I didn't even want to go at that point but I felt guilty like I had to fake being happy because she invested financially in the bus that night. She tried but it was a flop. I) There were other countless issues that just stressed us out everyday. We wanted nothing more than to enjoy this time but we were always so stressed. I bought my wedding gown and got scammed the first time. The second time the shop I ordered through was hit by a snow storm when she ordered it and the order didn't go through then when they checked on it, the gown was discontinued. The gown I ended up ordering my H picked out of a bunch I was considering. It came in late and I rushed it for alterations, the place I took it to was way over priced and then also did unnecessary work- destroyed the dress then I had to argue with them to put it back to original condition. They never hemmed the dress ( and I kept tripping over it as I walked down the aisle) and charged me $400 of a bustle (they did wrong twice and I never even used).  J) Oh our wedding was in Hawaii, and the first wedding planner we hired was a nightmare! She was a liar, and so unprofessional! We sent her money to secure our choice of venue. We found out months later that she never paid them or signed a contract with them for our date! We were planning a simple cocktail hour with cheese, cracker, fruit, and veggie platters, of which she kept quoting us for other foods more than 5 times our budget! We fired her. Our next planner was great but I had already single handedly planned everything- she just needed to tie up a few loose ends and run the day of event.  K) Hired someone for my hair and makeup- a few months later find out she too is pregnant and due the week of the wedding and had to cancel. Hired a second person- she ended up being double booked off island which we found out just a month before the event. We then ended up with another company that was terrible! :-/ L) MUSIC!: The first guy we chose was already booked. :( Then we hired two others that we went with and in the end it was great but they gave us a hard time about playing the music we chose, very basic traditional classical music.  M) Time to leave for wedding: A lot of things we were working on were not done in time. :( Then we were running late to get to the airport. We were going to take H's pick up truck so we could fit all the luggage in the back. The moment we were ready to leave, it started to down pour! We had to put all our luggage in large trash bags. We get to the airport and they tell us our flight does not exist! I showed them a recent confirmation I received just three days prior- they were shocked. (We had a party of 17 going with us! and no flights!!!!) This really stressed us out! Eventually we got a flight but we were all put of different flights. It was a nightmare.  N) We get to Kauai and we had to meet with our bakery to finalize our cake and give them our topper and ribbon and such. When we get there we started talking about flavors and H and I were informed that they made our cake in Vanilla (which I hate vanilla!!!) three days prior! Our event was in 2 more days! Who makes a wedding cake 5 or more days prior? Eww stale cake and a flavor  hate. Ugh. I let it go though and said okay don't worry. A few hours they called me and said that they were going to make a fresh cake in the flavor I requested which was coconut. I was happy with this. :) And the cake was delicious the day of! O) Our resort: We reserved an ocean front suite and receieved a twist your neck to get a poor ocean view. Considering we had so many people there with us, we were really unhappy about this but whatever.   2) The ceremony: Mostly wonderful. Few complaints there.  a) The hair and make up artists were down right mean and rude. And my girls did not like their work at all. They refused to put my head piece on and I had to completely re do my make up. (Even though I gave them pictures - several- of the exact look I wanted) They made me look like I had raccoon eyes- all black. So I had to rush to redo it as best as I could on top of what they already put on me.  b) Because of this, we ran about 1/2 an hour late. I know weddings running late is common but in Hawaii when you're renting your venue by the hour, it makes a big difference.  c) We get to the venue and I am waiting in position for another25 minutes and I can not understand what the hold up is. Well, my MOH had to go find her ex bf because they missed the turn! ugh! Finally we start the ceremony and as I descend on the stairs to the lower garden, my dress keeps getting stuck on the steps to where I had to keep stopping and unhooking it from this and that which it was caught on. Not so elegant. Then once on flat ground, I kept tripping on my unhemmed paid $400 for alterations dress! UGH! Even walking down the aisle I had to stop and fix my dress- sigh.  d) But when I was at the beginning of the aisle, about to walk down to meet my H, looking around and seeing him, nothing could ruin that moment! I was elated- overflowing with joy! e) I messed up on my vows and had to read them from the paper I wrote them on. H recited his vows so loudly it felt like he was shouting them at me. Oh and my hair this one piece was in front of my face the whole time so it looks terrible in pictures bc you can not see my cheek or eyes. Then when it was time to walk back down the asile as H & W, H was looking at the ground worried I was going to trip the whole time so there are no pics of us walking down the aisle smiling together. Also no one remembered to toss the petals in the petal cones we slaved over making. I really wanted a picture of us kissing half way down the aisle with petals flying all over. :( f) We were running out of time because we started an hour late, we had to hurry up and get just a couple photos in as fast as possible. We never got a single shot of my bridesmaids with me and all our parasols or any shot of just the girls together for that matter. We got very  few family photos. And were not as thrilled with our photos as we had hoped. I wish someone would have fixed that dumb hair and pulled my train out and fluffed my dress but no one did. I wanted to take my veil off but the photographer said not to that she liked it- but now looking back at the photos, I really wish I did. Didn't get a lot of pictures I wanted.Also there is no one to blame but my self for this one--- I make a lot of weird funny faces, not even trying to make funny faces. Ugh the double chin, the smerk, the half smile, the raised eyebrow- ugh I had no idea I make so many weird faces! g) Our cocktail hour reception was rushed to a short 30 minutes before it would have cost us an additional $600 for another 30 minutes! WHich was not in our budget. With that said we had no time to get our photos taken, and had to kick our guests out.  h) We had planned to take sunset photos at the beach of H and I where all of our guests would participate in sending off chinese sky lanterns. Only problem was, MOH kept flirting with BM and playing in the background of all the pictures- delaying the photographer again and again. The sun set was extremely clouded. Oh and bystanders that saw us posing on the rocks over the water kept holloring "Fall FALL!!!" because they wanted to seem e fall into the water in my wedding gown. H couldn't really pick me up for a nice picture you know when the Groom picks up the bride and gives her a kiss. I don't really know why. He is 250lbs and I am 120. Then it came time to light the lanterns, well the two lighters we had were both out of fluid!!! UGHHHHH!!!!. Our videographer had already gone over his contracted time and was an additional $600 per hour. So I was worried about this. As he went over by 3.5 hrs! We only hired him to go to the beach with us to get a few romantic sunset shots of us and the sky lanterns. Eventually we got two lanterns out of twenty set off. Sigh what a disappointment.  I) A few more photos and then we called it quits for pics.  j) I was starving and wanted to go get something to eat with my new Husband, I wanted to stay in my dress but ended up changing out of it because everyone else changed into shorts. There was no where open to eat anymore. We found one place and it was okay. Oh did I mention I got my period on my wedding day! Thanks randomness of an IUD. Oh yeah and I wanted all of our ($2000) ceremony flowers put in our room so we could enjoy them during our stay. But MIL put them in her FREEZER!!! ??? They all died. k) I also forgot that I had my face waxed two days before the wedding and had an allergic reaction which totally stressed me out the day of. l) The day after we go scuba diving and my left ear drum bursts. I couldn't go on the second dive and stayed on the beach while H went. 25 minutes on the beach, I ended up with sun poisoning and blisters all over my face. This caused trauma to my face which caused me to break out in cold sores. It was a nightmare. On our honeymoon, We went to visit a lavender farm and as I was joking with my H I said I was hoping the lavender would be really high so I could take advantage of him out there- as he began to jokingly say "yeah imagine that we would be in the middle of it and you- being allergic, would get stung by a bee" in that instant, I was stung by a bee. I was in tears and collapsed to the ground.  3) Back home: As we get to the DFW airport, (remember all the problems with the airport before?) I ask H where he parked the truck. He didn't remember. We spent 3 hours walking the airport looking for his truck with 6 pieces of luggage in tow!  a) we finally get home and realize that we have our wedding reception in a week and a half and still a ton to do for it. And people are still replying that they will and will not make it. ??? RSVP deadline was 5/2 people!!!! b) last minute things drive me crazy! I like for things to be structured and organized. There were too many last minute things going on.  c) The Saturday before our wedding reception, my cousin who I grew up with, was killed in a horrible boating accident by a drunk boater. I could not get my head around this and still can't. I wanted and needed to be in NY with my family and friends and couldn't :( My heart was breaking- there is so much I wish I could tell my cousin but can't. The only member of my family that was going to be coming to the reception couldn't com now and I understand. I didn't even want to have the reception at tall at this point. I couldn't find any joy. Every single day leading up to and including the day of the reception people were sending messages on Facebook and text saying that they were not going to be able to make it for either  a lame reason or they didn't bother to give a reason. This really pissed us off. We paid over $100 for each person that said they were coming to attend and already paid in full. Oh yeah and the bridesmaid that didn't come to the bridal shower or the bachelorette party also bailed on the reception!!! Frigging seriously!!!!!!!!! Oh and Our photographer went out of business so we had to hire another at the last minute. He was terrible!!!  I couldn't imagine anyone is still reading at this point- but I think this is good therapy for me... The night before, H and I were supposed to go to dinner with our out of town guests but instead I was still completing unfinished projects delayed to guests who didn't give us names and photos as requested many times over the past year. I did not sleep or even blink a long blink for the three days prior to the reception. Oh MOH yeah she didn't even show for my hair appointment. And she never picked up our bouquets like she was supposed to. So I had to wait for the florist to deliver it to our venue which delayed our photos 2 hours- but that didn't matter because H and I had to decorate the venue for 5 hours instead of taking photos because our decorator couldn't get it all done alone and there were no instructions. Oh this is where I lost it. I can not tell you how much thought went into this part and all the detail that should have been done that wasn't. Makes me want to scream! So now 5 hours later than we were supposed to be taking pictures, MOH still isn't even dressed!!!!!!!!!! OMG are you kidding me!? SO we spend about 30 minutes taking pictures- still didn't get the ones we wanted- photographer sucked. We get to the venue and I go to peek at the room (oh yeah and the flowers were not what they were supposed to be- even the girl that delivered them said she didn't like them and she usually makes all the wedding arrangements but the owner said he wanted to make ours special so he did them.) Still the room looked pretty. No one was doing their job as far as the ushers and all that we had planned.  We are introduced and our dinner is put in front of us. We are then bombarded with people- normal- I know but I have not eaten in three days!!!!! We then have to do our first dance which we have been working on for months, the first half was great- however we recently changed the second half and I messed up on a few things which really pissed me off because I know we have this down. Our photographer kept this big flood light lit almost the entire time washing out our led uplighting and killing the romantic feel of the 500+ candles we had lit. It also kept people from wanting to get on the dance floor since this is where he stationed this light. Drove me crazy!  OMG and  the wedding video which we went too great lengths to have it in time for and rented equipment to play it during the reception- Our MOH had it paused so it wouldn't play- intentionally! So her parents wouldn't see that her Ex Bf was at the wedding!!! Are you friggin kidding me!?  What pissed us off the most is that in the end we paid for about 160 people to attend our reception and maybe 90 showed- maybe!  After the reception is over, H and I are left to clean and break down and pack up everything. His parents helped but where the hell was the bridal party? Is the B&G really supposed to be doing that!?  And you're never going to believe this- but I decided to try to wear my wedding lingerie for the night of the reception since I got my period the night of the wedding- but guess what--- I got my friggin period again!!! In the middle of the reception!  Ultimately we were not happy with the reception and feel it was a complete waste of money. We could have used all that money we paid for empty seats to visit my family in NY or vacation or put new floors in our home. It just really pissed us off. How Rude! Then as far as cards and gifts go- We can only assume someone walked away with most of them. I know for a fact one guest handed me a card and we can not find it for the life of us! We received cards from Less than 1/2 of the guests in attendance and of those less than 20% gave any sort of gift. So in other words less than 5% of our total guests gave gifts and 10 gave cards. I just don't understand that mentality.  Back on the home front- I am back at work and our house is a wreck! There is wedding crap everywhere which drives me crazy. But I get up for work at 6am and get home about 7pm. By the time H and I eat it is near 9pm and I am so pooped - I don't know how I am going to get my house back!  So overall, H and I were disappointed severely with the reception and somewhat with the ceremony. The wedding planning process as a whole has been a complete nightmare for us and we are thrilled that it is over! Now we just have to spend the next 15 months paying it all off.  SO SORRY this was so long. I can't even believe I wrote all of that! 
    Posted by jaschelle[/QUOTE]



    oh my. Well I read the entire post and Im sorry for everything that happened. I know a few people said you did not have a right to be upset but if you paid for something, you should get what you want. Yes i would be very upset if things that were paid for did not come out the right way. You have the right to want your wedding be a certain way and not settle, especially if you are the one paying for it. Im even sorry for the responses you are getting and since they seem to think that "your life is not as interesting to people and you seem to think", hopefully they will not be posting their recaps because other people will not think that their wedding day is not as interesting either. I thought members can post their recaps regardless of how long/or negative but I guess it only applys to certain people. I would also think that as soon as opening your post they saw the length and would just simply exit out of it. Making comments to how long it is was kind of rude and could have been kept to themselves. This is supposed to be a community and instead of helping or even giving useful advice, the comments seemed mostly catty.  Either way, Im sorry for what happened to you during a time that was supposed to be fun and relaxing.
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  • chrmunchrmun member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:7e04b441-995b-4926-b206-ecb0b339c32d">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other) : oh my. Well I read the entire post and Im sorry for everything that happened. I know a few people said you did not have a right to be upset but if you paid for something, you should get what you want. Yes i would be very upset if things that were paid for did not come out the right way. You have the right to want your wedding be a certain way and not settle, especially if you are the one paying for it. Im even sorry for the responses you are getting and since they seem to think that "your life is not as interesting to people and you seem to think", hopefully they will not be posting their recaps because other people will not think that their wedding day is not as interesting either. I thought members can post their recaps regardless of how long/or negative but I guess it only applys to certain people. I would also think that as soon as opening your post they saw the length and would just simply exit out of it. Making comments to how long it is was kind of rude and could have been kept to themselves. This is supposed to be a community and instead of helping or even giving useful advice, the comments seemed mostly catty.  Either way, Im sorry for what happened to you during a time that was supposed to be fun and relaxing.
    Posted by gmg75241[/QUOTE]



    Um, yeah. You try spending some time on the June 2012 board and reading at least one of these textbooks a day, then get back to me on that.
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  • At least your house didn't burn down the night before your wedding like mine did...
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_super-long-h-i-are-both-disappointed-not-with-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:97fd3fe9-f82c-4970-95bf-aea55c95a4ecPost:9dd44123-f8fe-4815-a6f2-4d70032ed8f6">Re: (Super Long!) H & I are both disappointed (Not with each other)</a>:
    [QUOTE]At least your house didn't burn down the night before your wedding like mine did...
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Or during the HM, like another June bride...
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  • Ummm...I actually read the whole thing.  Why, I'm not sure, i thought that you might conclude with SOMETHING positive.  My roommate/BM's (now ex) boyfriend legit tried to kill my brother and childhood best friend, is facing 2 felonies and 4 misdemeanors...AT MY WEDDING.  And I still find an INCREDIBLE amount of joy and happiness in the fact that I am married to my best friend.  Are you serious?
    I will say though...I'm very sorry for the loss of your cousin and I will send Ts&Ps your way for THAT.

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  • edited July 2012
    Jaschelle,

    I want to offer my condolences about your cousin.

    I know you had a lot of drama leading up to your wedding, such as the bustle issue and the stubborn mom/grandma thing, so I know you were stressed out.

    As far as the other things you mentioned in your post, I think you are picking away at your wedding trying to find fault or disappointment in every aspect of the day.  Wedding parties are not obligated to help you clean up or help you complete unfinished projects.  If they offer, you can accept the help, but if they don't, it should not be an issue.  Guests are also not required to give you a gift.  Especially if they travel all the way to Hawaii.  Mentioning lack of gifts doesn't put you in the best light. 

    What matters is that you and your love are now husband and wife!  No one's wedding day is perfect.  I hope you and your new husband can now focus on each other and your marriage.  All the other stuff doesn't matter.

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