As a Bride, I am so lonely. Sometimes I want to run away.

LadyMavanna

I am sitting here today, thinking about the wedding, the process, the ideas. We have not made solid plans yet. My fiance listens but feels like I a looking way too far ahead. His mother wants us to go have a wedding in somebody's backyard rather than the comic con I am leaning toward. (I say somebody because I have not met them, but they are his family. Aunts, uncles, and such.) 

I asked My FMIL opinion on dresses and she told me she can't help. She wore an altered prom dress for her wedding. she asked about the yard thing again and we ended the phone call.

I get it. Comic con is not the family affair she wants, she's not pushy but I can hear it in her voice. I know the idea of a wedding being open to strangers is horrible to a lot of people so I get it. 

But I am near tears. I have to get a dress by myself. I get no female input with out my fiance's family on board. I never imagined that I could be so excited to spend my life with someone, but so depressed with a wedding.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like my feelings on everything and no idea how to sort them out. Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

NOLABridesmaid

I get from the vibe of your post that you might not have family to talk about this on your side. I will say that I have never understood taking a tribe of women with you to pick out your wedding dress. It seems like too many overwhelming opinions, but I do understand if you would like to go with someone whom you value opinion wise.

Anyway, maybe try not to talk wedding stuff with your MIL until you have your plans set in motion.

MNNEBride

Wedding at Comic Con and big party/reception in the backyard?

MesmrEwe

I'm with NOLA here!!!  Oh Heavens - I LOVED shopping for my 10th Anniversary dress (not wedding, but still super formal - and JUST for myself, no one else) SO much more than my wedding gown because it was only MY opinion on the dress *I* wanted to wear instead of being pressured into anything like I was with my wedding gown to the point that it set the tone for the rest of the planning (back when being a 2-dress bride was unheard of!)...  I wouldn't trade having my Mom there with me for the world, but she was also hooked in to the whole sales pitch of "if you don't order today you won't have any dress in time for your wedding 10 months later" BS.  Going in to a bridal shop with a final budget and confidence in yourself to determine FOR YOURSELF what you love on you and want to wear is incredibly freeing as an experience.  Also, don't be afraid after trying on dresses to take a moment to think about it if you aren't putting one on and with 100% certainty "this is it!". 

I had a cousin get married on Halloween with a "Costume Reception".  Her ceremony was still performed in a church with the BP wearing their "costumes" (appropriate for church setting)..  I'm guessing your FMIL just wants proper reverence given to "the moment" which she fears won't happen at Comic Con, It's not the back yard she's necessarily wanting, it's the solemnity of the moment that she is likely looking to be conveyed how it's done even if hers was super simple. 

For the time being, focus on setting your guest list and budget which will give you a direction to start and where you can and can't afford (you never know, ComicCon might charge an arm and a leg to let you have your ceremony there because there is a cost associated with the event!)

Knottie1426704856

Sorry you're feeling lonely about the wedding, but honestly like others have said you're probably better off shopping for your own dress. I got way too many opinions when I would show my fiance and BMs my dress ideas. In the end, I got my dress (last night! Demetrios 1467) with just my mom and me. It was the first store I went to, I hated the whole process (trying on dress after dress), and definitely don't get the whole bring-everyone-with-you thing. My mom loved the dress and I liked it enough to get it and make her happy. It's just a dress in the long run of things.  

Knottie1431649503

Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. You can get married at con, then have a huge party later. Regardless of what anyone says your day is about you and your husband, make the memories that will be happiest for the two of you. No one can argue with that. As for the dress there is a MAC Duggal dress 48305 that is very Steam punk-esque, may fit con. It also looks a million times better in person than in those pictures. 

primafaba15

OP, I'm a little late to the party and I don't have any useful advice, but I just wanted to say I get where you're coming from, and I'm sorry. It really sucks. I'm in the same situation, and yeah, the whole '20 women going dress shopping together' thing is a little silly, but the fact that it's not even on the table has me surprisingly bummed. And it's hard not to be able to talk about wedding plans with anyone, especially when your FI isn't super engaged in the planning process. You are not alone!! 

(And for what it's worth -- I think Comic Con sounds like an awesome wedding, if not something everyone would appreciate. We've been trying to sneakily work in some elements from our fandom so that we still get what we want but minus the judgment from our relatives). 

hmonkey

LadyMavanna said:

I have to get a dress by myself. 

so you get to pick what you want and have no one say "that dress is uggles." consider it a win.

arrrghmatey

hmonkey said:

LadyMavanna said:

I have to get a dress by myself. 

so you get to pick what you want and have no one say "that dress is uggles." consider it a win.

I went dress shopping once with my bridal party and didn't find a dress I liked. When I went by myself, I found my dress. I enjoyed the solo shipping trip more than the one with my bridesmaids. And you'd be surprised how many other people in the salon that day will offer you unbiased insight.

Take the planning process one step at a time. Decide on a date timeframe and where you want to be married. I know you want to have the wedding of your dreams at Comic Con, remember what it all comes down to at the end of the day: you are marrying your best friend.

hmonkey

arrrghmatey said:

I went dress shopping once with my bridal party and didn't find a dress I liked. When I went by myself, I found my dress. I enjoyed the solo shipping trip more than the one with my bridesmaids. And you'd be surprised how many other people in the salon that day will offer you unbiased insight.

brides only, not the people who work at the salon and will be trying to sell you something.