100 grandchildren!?

emmaaa

Wow: http://myfox8.com/2015/05/26/illinois-couple-welcomes-their-100th-grandchild/

It got me to thinking, how many children (if any) do you and your SO want/plan to have? 

DH and I are currently settled on at least two with the possibility for a third. I really want three but he is unsure. Obviously, all of this could change when we actually have our first child, but that's our general plan for  now.

ETF: added in the correct link!

ShesSoCold

emmaaa said:

Wow: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1058705/updated-tos-rumors?new=1

It got me to thinking, how many children (if any) do you and your SO want/plan to have? 

DH and I are currently settled on at least two with the possibility for a third. I really want three but he is unsure. Obviously, all of this could change when we actually have our first child, but that's our general plan for  now.

Did you mean to link the TOS thread in Tech?

Anyway, H and I don't want kids at all. I'd love grandkids, but there's a step in between that's not appealing to me at all. 

bethsmiles

SO and I would be happy with two. We've discussed that if we have two boys or two girls we might try for a third but then we'd be 100% for sure done. I think we'll stop at two though.

twoleighs

I think you copied the wrong link?  http://www.today.com/parents/illinois-couple-welcome-100th-grandchild-t22961

I don't know if I could handle that many relatives.  H has a large family and mine is very small.  

Anyways to answer your question: we currently want 0.  Well except our cat.  That little booger is our child. 

beachyone15

We are hoping for two. We aren't TTC yet though. No timetable on that yet.

loveislouder

H and I both come from families of four, so he wants four. I only want one or two. Being pregnant scares the shit out of me. Giving birth also scares the shit out of me. 

thisismynickname2

How many children are we thinking of having? ONE. Just one. 

My thinking may be controversial or completely misguided, but I feel like with one child, you can still be yourselves as adults. Two is doable, but three or more and your whole identity becomes parent. 

I feel like with one child, we could still have some semblance of the life we currently enjoy. I think we're too selfish to turn ourselves over to nothing but parenthood. My perception of this comes from 10 years of adulthood observing friends and acquaintances who went to parenthood before us... The people with multiple children have lives that revolve around children and it seems to be it. They don't do anything without their children. They save their pennies to afford Disney World (which isn't my style, though I know many adults enjoy it) but never take a couple's vacation. By contrast, our multiple sets of friends with just one child manage to do things as a couple and with their friends that don't involve the children. 

My hat goes off to the parents of multiple children as it's clear their lives are filled with love and laughter and they love being parents. But.. I don't see myself or DH that way at all. 

For some reason I just felt like getting that off my chest. Slow day at work and baby on the brain to boot! 

beachyone15

loveislouder said:

H and I both come from families of four, so he wants four. I only want one or two. Being pregnant scares the shit out of me. Giving birth also scares the shit out of me. 

Agreed. I think I'm actually more scared of pregnancy/giving birth than parenting.

Maggie0829

At the moment we want 0 (except for our pup).  If we did have kids we have said that one would be more then enough.  Especially since I will be 31 in August and I would want a good 4-5 years in between kids and I don't want to be older then 35 when/if I do have kids/have our last kid.  So for us to have two, I would need to pop a kid out like yesterday.

emmaaa

I fixed the link! Thanks for pointing that out to me, must not have copied  like I thought!

thespeshulestsnowflake

beachyone15 said:

loveislouder said:

H and I both come from families of four, so he wants four. I only want one or two. Being pregnant scares the shit out of me. Giving birth also scares the shit out of me. 

Agreed. I think I'm actually more scared of pregnancy/giving birth than parenting.

Add me to this list. 

BF's has said no more than 3. I looked at him like "you're not the one pushing them out of your vagina." One, if any at this point, or maybe two.

loveislouder

beachyone15 said:

loveislouder said:

H and I both come from families of four, so he wants four. I only want one or two. Being pregnant scares the shit out of me. Giving birth also scares the shit out of me. 

Agreed. I think I'm actually more scared of pregnancy/giving birth than parenting.

Preemptive box-------------------------------------

Right? Like, I was reading an article on buzzfeed (which I currently can't find) that was basically things no one tells you about giving birth, and some of them I really didn't know. I actually called my Mom and was like "You did that 4 times?! WHY!!"  

Bubblegum5586

2 sounds good to us. Maybbeeeeee 3 but we'll have to see how we feel about 2 first. Since we aren't even TTC yet it makes me think 2!

ETA: We have close family friends that have 12 kids so far only 3 are married with a total of 6 grandkids (4+1+1) but curious to see how big that family will get!

banana468

We have two and I feel good about that right now.   I don't know if we're done but I'm not feeling like I'm at a loss and that our family is missing something.

DH's grandparents are somewhat similar to this.   They have 23 grandchildren and the 42nd or 43rd great grandchild is on the way.   I don't think they'll hit 100 but 65 is pretty high!   

And they have had 6 children but only 3 of those children went on to be parents.   I can only imagine how big the family would be if the other siblings had babies!

bethsmiles

thisismynickname said:

How many children are we thinking of having? ONE. Just one. 

My thinking may be controversial or completely misguided, but I feel like with one child, you can still be yourselves as adults. Two is doable, but three or more and your whole identity becomes parent. 

I feel like with one child, we could still have some semblance of the life we currently enjoy. I think we're too selfish to turn ourselves over to nothing but parenthood. My perception of this comes from 10 years of adulthood observing friends and acquaintances who went to parenthood before us... The people with multiple children have lives that revolve around children and it seems to be it. They don't do anything without their children. They save their pennies to afford Disney World (which isn't my style, though I know many adults enjoy it) but never take a couple's vacation. By contrast, our multiple sets of friends with just one child manage to do things as a couple and with their friends that don't involve the children. 

My hat goes off to the parents of multiple children as it's clear their lives are filled with love and laughter and they love being parents. But.. I don't see myself or DH that way at all. 

For some reason I just felt like getting that off my chest. Slow day at work and baby on the brain to boot! 

I totally follow your line of thinking on this one! I seriously doubt SO and I will have more than 2 but sometimes I wonder if even after 1 we will want to stop for the same reasons as you. We don't plan on TTC for 3-4 more years though so we'll see how we feel once we get there!

julieanne912

thisismynickname said:

How many children are we thinking of having? ONE. Just one. 

My thinking may be controversial or completely misguided, but I feel like with one child, you can still be yourselves as adults. Two is doable, but three or more and your whole identity becomes parent. 

I feel like with one child, we could still have some semblance of the life we currently enjoy. I think we're too selfish to turn ourselves over to nothing but parenthood. My perception of this comes from 10 years of adulthood observing friends and acquaintances who went to parenthood before us... The people with multiple children have lives that revolve around children and it seems to be it. They don't do anything without their children. They save their pennies to afford Disney World (which isn't my style, though I know many adults enjoy it) but never take a couple's vacation. By contrast, our multiple sets of friends with just one child manage to do things as a couple and with their friends that don't involve the children. 

My hat goes off to the parents of multiple children as it's clear their lives are filled with love and laughter and they love being parents. But.. I don't see myself or DH that way at all. 

For some reason I just felt like getting that off my chest. Slow day at work and baby on the brain to boot! 

One here too, for the reasons listed above.  Also, I'm not getting any younger (just turned 33), so I'll be 34, close to 35 by the time we have our first assuming all goes smoothly.  I don't think I have the patience to have 2 really small kids, so unless I could be ok with having a second kid by 39/40 (which I'm not), it's not happening. 

jenna8984

I would like 2 and DH would like 1 so we'll see how it goes.

@thisismynickname Well you could be a jackass like my brother and have 3 kids that you just ditch at home with your spouse while you play in your 8 soccer & football leagues.

lovemesomemonster

The idea of this large of a family scares me. I like my family and thought it was big before seeing this, but I have no idea how grandpa has the energy for it and he only has 6 kids, 11 grands, and 18 great grands.

I'm super awkward around kids and would maybe like one of my own but I have no interest in a huge family. FI says he will have kids IF they fit into his retirement plans financially most days, and other days he wants kids soon so who knows what he is thinking. Since we are both on the fence I guess we will cross that bridge when we decide it's time to talk about it.

aliwis000

I grew up being the oldest of 4. I loved having a large family and want the same. Was it crazy? Heck yes! But now that we are all grown up I have these 3 other people who share a bond with me not even FI can understand.

I read an article about siblings not long ago and it said "Siblings are the people you will probably know the longest in your life."

Simple yes but I had never thought about it like that. Since I am the oldest I will probably/hopefully not out live the other 3. So I will know them from the day they are born till the day I die. Nobody else will come close to that.

I want that for my kids. Obviously you never know what life has in store and I do not presume to think what I want now will be possible/feasible when we start TTC but at least 3 hopefully 4 is the current plan.

thisismynickname2

jenna8984 said:

I would like 2 and DH would like 1 so we'll see how it goes.

@thisismynickname Well you could be a jackass like my brother and have 3 kids that you just ditch at home with your spouse while you play in your 8 soccer & football leagues.

Ouch. Yeah, if you conceive them, I would hope you'd actually want them and want to spend time with them...?  

cupcait927

Currently, our count is at zero. H got super drunk the other night and said he did want kids but I'm taking that with a grain of salt. However, if we were to change our minds, I'd most likely only want one child. I grew up with just one sister and currently have no relationship with her. So I wouldn't feel like I was missing out giving my child a sibling when there's no guarantee that they would be very close. H would probably want 2 or 3, but he grew up with his sister as his best friend. And he thinks we'd spoil one kid WAY too much (like we do with our dog).

[Deleted User]

Zero for us. Don't like kids and I'd be an awful parent. Life would also just be much too expensive with kids. No thanks.

sassercake12

Right now, our plan is have two then we'll decide if we want a third. No more than three, although FI loves being a jerk and joking about having six sons. Yeah, really funny. I'm also hoping for a larger gap between two and three, but we'll see what happens.

I'm also terrified of being pregnant and giving birth. I have some anxiety issues, and medical stuff really freaks me out. We're not going to TTC until I'm dying to have a kid because that's the only way I'd be able to put up with any of that.

mj8215

Does anyone else think its wrong in our day and age to have this many children? To me it just seems very selfish given all the overpopulation and increasing paucity of resources...I mean even assuming both parents work and have good salaries, how can you possibly provide appropriate resources/ education etc for these kids, not to mention devote enough love and attention to each child? I don't know. I did not go "aww cute" when I read that article. 

And I love kids and FI and I hope to have them (ideally more than 1 if it works out that way). But...just no.

*edited because got cut off in the middle. 

bethsmiles

mj8215 said:

Does anyone else think its wrong in our day and age to have this many children? To me it just seems very selfish given all the overpopulation and increasing paucity of resources...I mean even assuming both parents work and have good salaries, how can you possibly provide appropriate resources/ education etc for these kids, not to mention devote enough love and attention to each child? I don't know. I did not go "aww cute" when I read that article. 

And I love kids and FI and I hope to have them (ideally more than 1 if it works out that way). But...just no.

*edited because got cut off in the middle. 

Well...they didn't have 12 children in this day and age. They had them 60 years ago. Their kids then each would have had 4-5 children which is a lot but not crazy. The rest are great-grandchildren (and one great-great grandchild). So I don't think it's as outrageous as you are making it out to be.

themosthappy91

I guess I'm a definite minority here- I want three MINIMUM. I would LOVE to have four or five.

***I say this all now without ever experiencing being pregnant and giving birth so this could definitely change/probably will.

I didn't come from a big immeadiate family but I just always loved the idea of having a house full of kids/siblings. 

I'm also weird in that I can't wait to be pregnant- currently I am more excited about that than actually having children. I have no idea why but I just have this weird feeling that I'm going to be one of those women who loves being pregnant and the whole process is just so amazing and beautiful and awesome to me. 

artbyallie

H wants an even number. Most likely we will try for two. As of right now, we've had another setback in getting started since he didn't get into a PhD program this year. We would both like to have at least the security that he will be earning his doctorate so that he will be qualified for tenure-track employment. Until he has that he's pretty much guaranteed to stay an adjunct and that's not the kind of income we'd like to raise children on.

lovesclimbing

Three or four.  That's what we said when we talked about it pre-marriage, and we still seem to be on the same page there.

princessbuttercup09

Our plan is for 3 and fostering (and hopefully eventually adopting) another child. I'd love having a really big family but the idea of getting pregnant and giving birth freaks me out. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who feels that way!

bethsmiles

I used to be really freaked out by pregnancy and childbirth but then I did a lot of reading and research into midwifery (for my thesis in grad school) and really got a whole new perspective that made me much less anxious about it. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Babycatcher by Peggy Vincent were both really excellent reads.

flutteringinfl

FI has three siblings and hates the idea of having that many kids. He said growing up every time they left the house it was always a huge affair, and his mother would apologize to wait staff at restaurants for "bringing the whole gang." Right now we're thinking two, fairly close together in age if possible. But we probably won't start TTC for a couple years.