Wedding Etiquette Forum

Father/Daughter Stepfather/Daughter AND Mom/Daughter dances?!

Help..I mean...help. I am to have the traditional Father/Daughter dance for certain. The issue is now that my Stepfather and my mother are paying for the wedding and there is a certain expectation to "Thank" them with a special dance as they each had an individual dance with me at their wedding. I really REALLY don't think my poor guests need to sit through 9 minutes of individual dances with these extremely important people in my life. How on earth does one juggle all of this?  

Here are the solutions I've come up with, I need help with etiquette on what you did! I can't stand the idea of the "cutting in" the middle of a song...that will really rub a lot of people the wrong way. I

A) Father/Daughter dance at the traditional time. Have individual dances with each other parent during the reception without the need for people to stand and watch it happening

B ) Have them all one after another (my poor feet and my poor guests...)

Re: Father/Daughter Stepfather/Daughter AND Mom/Daughter dances?!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd tell them that you'll be more than happy to offer a gesture of thanks, but not in the context of spotlight dances.  And tell them what you said in your OP: you are not okay with "cutting in" and do not want to have your guests sitting through prolonged periods of individual dances where they don't get to dance themselves.
  • Another solution that I think is better than cutting in would be to have your DJ or band play a shortened version of each of the songs.  I am dancing with my father and stepfather, and I think we are going to have the DJ shorten the songs so they are under 2 minutes each, max.  This might help to shorten the time frame if your parents are absolutely insisting on this and it's not a hill you want to die on.  If they are at all rational, they should understand that 10 straight minutes of parents dances is going to feel like an eternity to your guests (and you!).


    Jon+Bec15aimeek608
  • randomsloverandomslove member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited May 2015
    My sister and I both plan on having two father/daughter dances at our weddings. She's getting married this November and I'm getting married next December. The first father/daughter dance will be with our stepfather and the second with our stepfather. There only needs to be one mother/son dance at least...

    If our guests don't like, too bad for them. No one HAS to dance during any of the songs and everyone will be invited to dance during all of them. After all, not everyone will have a 'father' there. Besides, it means my little sister and I can trade off dads during the father-daughter dances too.





    aimeek608
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    A is good, and simply tell the others you'll "save them a dance".

    Or if you are really worried about hurt feelings, don't have ANY spotlight dances and just make a point to dance with each one at some point during the reception.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers



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