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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Someone PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one.....

Am I the only one in the world that is nervous about my wedding and regretting spending all the money and time just for one night!?! I've looked at other options (getting married on the beach, Vegas etc.) but when I sit down and think of my wedding I think of all my friends and family there and everything like that. I've always dreamed and wanted the wedding we're having...but I just can't think of spending that much money. 

My fiance and I are paying for it ourselves and it's just making us feel really weird spending all this money just for one night. I'm so sorry we're going to wake up and regret it. Am i crazy and the only one that has this feeling?!? :( 

Re: Someone PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one.....

  • i think everyone feels this way. did you both agree on a budget? you definitely should agree on one and try really hard not to go over. is there anywhere in the budget you can cut or diy? try to spend only the money you have saved and try not to go into debt for the wedding. maybe you need to reconsider your style of wedding. like instead of having a seated catered meal maybe do the reception in one of your parent's backyard and do the food yourselves. maybe don't serve a meal and just do a cocktail reception.
  • I'm feeling the exact same way right now. Saving isn't going as planned and I'm starting to regret wanting to do all this in the first place, and my budget is $7000. I would probably have a full on heart attack if I was spending any more than that. In fact I'm going to try to spend less, I'm working with the caterer at my venue right now to see if there are any ways to cut back more than I already have. I'm only inviting 50 people and it's just so expensive to feed them! Ahh
    My bouquets will be DIY, centerpieces are under $10 per table. I have basically no extra frills, no favors, etc. All I want is my family and friends to be there and have a good time, and it's frustrating to try and scale back even more than I already am.

    I totally sympathize.
  • I felt that way, but realized it's going to be something we'll remember forever. 
  • You are not the only one! It is so much money!  My husband and I were talking about it after. It was the ceremony and the speches that were the things that meant the most. The rest is nice, but not necessary. I was having last minute doubts that we should have hired a cake maker etc. But it turned out beautiful, and what mattered, was the warmth of family and friends. I spoke with my sister in law about cakes etc. And she has been to over 20 weddings, she could not remember  a single cake other than her sisters wedding. I think the wedding industry blows these things into gigantic proportions. We had a wedding of 50 guests, I would not have had it any different. It was so US and intimate.
  • Definitely not the only one!  DH and I made a decision when we first started planning that we wouldn't spend any money we didn't have, basically, if we couldn't pay it, in full, with our own money (no credit cards), then we wouldn't do it.  Now, after the wedding, I am so glad we did it that way!  We had a beautiful wedding and could come home after the honeymoon and say "Yay!  No wedding debt!"  

    I also think people assume "nice wedding=lots of money" and that isn't true.  My Matron of Honor had the best wedding I've seen and she did it for $5,000!  She found a nice venue that was cheap, got Publix to cater it, paid a college friend to DJ, made all the decorations herself, and everything was just beautiful!!!!!!  Also the most fun I've ever had at a wedding!
  • everytime i have to hand over my hard earned cash for a one time only thing.. I kinda wanna throw up. I'm Frugal I hate spending money if i don't have to.
  • Thanks so much for all of the messages! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one :) Thanks all for the tips and advice!! You've seriously made me feel SO much better!!
  • I felt the same way!  For the past few weeks we have been going back and forth... spend a few thousand on an awesome vacation and elope?  Or try to make the kind of wedding we want (nothing fancy, but a wedding nonetheless) fit into our budget?  We decided to sleep on it for a week, but even before the week was up we had decided to go ahead and have a wedding.  And I won't lie there were days I was 100% sure we would just elope!  But in the end, we both knew we wanted to celebrate with our friends and family, and have that one day we can call our own to remember for the rest of our lives.

    I agree with the other girls.  Set a budget and stick to it, no credit cards no debt.  Identify the elements of a wedding that you really care about (for us it was good food, drinks and dancing - unfortunately the most expense parts!) and be willing to compromise or do without for everything else.  And like the other girls said - think back to other weddings you've been to - did you remember the flowers?  The cake? etc.  If you didn't then it's probably not your thing, so don't waste your money!
  • I hear ya. I'm paying for the entire wedding, rehearsal dinner and portions of the honeymoon by MYSELF. My fiance is paying for the rest of the honeymoon.

    However I realize this is a 1 time event, so it should be worth it. (I hope)
  • I'm right there with you and it's something that you just need to let go otherwise you'll think about it every day (like I was:)! We are also footing the bill for the whole thing. We set a strict budget of $10,000 (150 people) and think we can pay for most of it with cash but know if it comes down to it and we have to put 1 or 2 grand on the credit card at the last minute we're comfortable with it knowing we can pay it off right away. I'm just paying cash for stuff as we go along and we'll see where we're at a couple months before the wedding.
  • I felt the same way. I was thinking I could have used the money for something else. I then realized that I have been dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl. Everything that I have ever dreamed of I am getting it. This will be my only wedding and I am so happy that I have decided to spnd what I am spending. I know I would regret something if I didn't have a huge wedding.
  • I'm on the flip side where I didn't spend my whole life planning my wedding (not that there is anything bad about that - I've alwas been a horrible girl).  However, I knew that I wanted to celebrate with my family and friends.  We did everything and didn't cheap out on much (pay more for reliable vendors that I liked) and came in under 12K.  Would I have loved to put that money into our house, absolutely.  Would I give up that day where everybody came out because they were happy and wanted to celebrate with us, not a chance!
  • At the end of the day, you are spending the money making memories.  This will be your only wedding.  You will forever reflect on it, and remember it as one magical day where you looked amazing and were surrounded by your family and friends.  And you threw them an amazing party! Do what you can within your budget, but don't feel guilt indulging on something frivolous, if only this one time in your life. We work hard to live....what is the point if you don't actually LIVE?  I don't think it is something you will regret!
    image **Married 7/9/11**
  •  I completely feel the same way!  Our families are being very generous and are both giving us a substantial amount of money for the wedding, so we won't be going into debt over it (and hopefully we will save some of it too).  However, I keep thinking that instead of paying for this 1 day we could take a vacation for a month and travel around the world or even take 2 or 3 honeymoons to places we want to go!  Or we could use that money for a down payment on a house.  We both have good jobs so we will be able to buy a house, but not as soon as we could if we just eloped and used the money for a down payment. I keep asking myself..is this really worth it?  I have asked other friends this question and everyone seems to think they did the right thing.  The people who kept the wedding small and inexpensive say they are glad they didn't waste the money, and the people who had a huge wedding say it is completely worth it for the memories and the celebration.  You are not alone!  
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