C-list Text Invitation?

chloe97

FI just got a text message from a pretty good friend who is getting married in 2 weeks letting him know that space has now available for us at his out of town wedding if we were interested. This is the same guy who invited FI to his out of town bachelor party and then had FI's best friend drop the news that they couldn't invite him (and 3 other guys who dropped $$$ to go to Vegas) because they ran out of space. Its my bachelorette party weekend, so I'm definitely not going, but FI is actually seriously considering going. Has anyone else gotten a 2 weeks out text invitation? Would you go? After my time on TK, shit like this makes my skin crawl.

mikenberger

chloe97 said:

FI just got a text message from a pretty good friend who is getting married in 2 weeks letting him know that space has now available for us at his out of town wedding if we were interested. This is the same guy who invited FI to his out of town bachelor party and then had FI's best friend drop the news that they couldn't invite him (and 3 other guys who dropped $$$ to go to Vegas) because they ran out of space. Its my bachelorette party weekend, so I'm definitely not going, but FI is actually seriously considering going. Has anyone else gotten a 2 weeks out text invitation? Would you go? After my time on TK, shit like this makes my skin crawl.

Um. No. It's plain that these people suck. But if FI wants to go, have a great time honey! Does your FI have kicked puppy syndrome and just like to be messed around with by people?

southernbelle0915

Sounds like a total gift grab. No, I wouldn't go.

novella1186

Definitely wouldn't go. I got a text invitation to a wedding that was in another country. It was a mass text that just said, "Here's the number for the travel agent. The package is $2,800" or something like that. Um, no. But thanks for the "invitation." I also didn't go to her PPD. 

Maggie0829

No, I would not go.  But if your FI wants to go then that is up to him.

thisismynickname2

Two weeks? Nope. 

[Deleted User]

mikenberger said:

chloe97 said:

FI just got a text message from a pretty good friend who is getting married in 2 weeks letting him know that space has now available for us at his out of town wedding if we were interested. This is the same guy who invited FI to his out of town bachelor party and then had FI's best friend drop the news that they couldn't invite him (and 3 other guys who dropped $$$ to go to Vegas) because they ran out of space. Its my bachelorette party weekend, so I'm definitely not going, but FI is actually seriously considering going. Has anyone else gotten a 2 weeks out text invitation? Would you go? After my time on TK, shit like this makes my skin crawl.

Um. No. It's plain that these people suck. But if FI wants to go, have a great time honey! Does your FI have kicked puppy syndrome and just like to be messed around with by people?

Personally, I wouldn't go. I think it's totally gross and tacky. But I also don't think your FI wanting to go means he has "kicked puppy syndrome and likes to be messed around with by people." Especially if you are going to be away for the weekend, he might just go for something to do. That's totally his prerogative.

anjemon

I probably wouldn't go, but I think it would completely depend on who I knew that was going to go. My college friends are hard to get all in one place, so if I knew one or two that I don't see very often were going to be there I might make an effort. But it would also depend on how OOT the wedding is.

Of course those are selfish reasons, I wouldn't be inclined to go and celebrate the couple. I would want to have a good time for myself, because they obviously don't care about me.

flutteringinfl

That's the kind of thing people do because they think TV and movies provide good etiquette lessons. "I saw this in a Katherine Heigl movie. Totes legit."

If it was close and I knew a decent amount of people who would be there (and weren't in the WP), then I *might* go, just to have something to do. But I wouldn't get a gift.

chloe97

If I were going to be available, I'd refuse to go and raise a big stink about it, but FI's best friend is also going solo, so it's a good guy weekend event. What pisses me off about it is that I barely know the bride because for many reasons I have never gotten a chance to get to know the SOs of this group of friends, but now I really think poorly of her. And I feel bad because you know that had a firm number they had to stay under and they had to make decisions-which is understandable- but that he (the groom) really wanted to make himself feel better about cutting FI off the list by inviting him to the bachelor party and the wedding last minute. Maybe she put up a fight and decided not to die on that hill? Either way, I still hate how shitty the whole thing made FI feel. I wish people didn't suck so much.

BouxRadley

chloe97 said:

FI just got a text message from a pretty good friend who is getting married in 2 weeks letting him know that space has now available for us at his out of town wedding if we were interested. This is the same guy who invited FI to his out of town bachelor party and then had FI's best friend drop the news that they couldn't invite him (and 3 other guys who dropped $$$ to go to Vegas) because they ran out of space. Its my bachelorette party weekend, so I'm definitely not going, but FI is actually seriously considering going. Has anyone else gotten a 2 weeks out text invitation? Would you go? After my time on TK, shit like this makes my skin crawl.

Honestly I'd be more irritated that they're considered "pretty good friends" and you two weren't even considered B-List. I can understand some friends not making the first cut. Family, family, family, yadda, yadda, ya.But not even the B-List? After shelling out for a party in Vegas? 

ETA: Or maybe this is the bride's idea of an appropriate B-list invite.

chloe97

That's what I was just venting to my friend about. You know that they probably had enough 'no's" 3-4 weeks ago to invite us if they wanted to B-list us. I bet that they aren't going to meet their catering minimum, and instead of upgrading the bar or adding a sweet table or something, they decided to go the route rhat will get them more gifts.

badbnagdway

I would be pretty annoyed at the timing and the form of the invite.  I totally get not going to an event because the hosts are crappy. Makes a lot of sense. But frankly whether your FI goes or doesn't go, these people will not learn or understand how crappy they are being, at least not until they get treated the same way someday. 

So I think your FI would do well to just decide based on whether he's likely to have a kickass time or not. If he thinks he would have a blast with his guy friends, even if the bride and groom host badly (let's face it, these folks are gems and I wouldn't put it past them to have a gap, cash bar, etc), then he should just go based on that.

photokitty

chloe97 said:

That's what I was just venting to my friend about. You know that they probably had enough 'no's" 3-4 weeks ago to invite us if they wanted to B-list us. I bet that they aren't going to meet their catering minimum, and instead of upgrading the bar or adding a sweet table or something, they decided to go the route rhat will get them more gifts.

Upgrading the bar...so you;re saying you think these lovely people aren't going to have a cash bar??? Bc my moneys on them having a cash bar AND a dollar dance.

chloe97

Oh shit. If there's a cash bar, FI will freak out. They aren't uncommon where I'm from, but FIs from a more well-to-do area and is annoyed if liquor isn't an option at a wedding. Is it bad that I'm kinda hoping it is a cash bar now just so the other guests realize how douchey this couple is? Omg and they have a Honeyfund and their Amazon registry has clothing on it!!!!!!! WTF?!?! ETF words Eta registry atrocities

badbnagdway

chloe97 said:

Oh shit. If there's a cash bar, FI will freak out. They aren't uncommon where I'm from, but FIs from a more well-to-do area and is annoyed if liquor isn't an option at a wedding. Is it bad that I'm kinda hoping it is a cash bar now just so the other guests realize how douchey this couple is? ETF words

Oh I can totally see them having a cash bar, and I don't know anything about them beyond what you put in this thread. I can also see them having a gap because they need to take pictures for two hours after the ceremony. 

Etiquette mistakes are like dogs, they like to be in a pack.