Postponed wedding

[Deleted User]

Hey Brides to be! 

First off congrats to all the brides reading this!

So yeah Me and My FI are already a month engaged. YAY! And we had our wedding planned for July 22 2017. It was gonna be a 2 yr engagement. He is from Scotland and since He engaged me at my home place PR we wanted to get married In his. But due to the fact that I need to sort out some visa stuff we don't have an exact wedding date nor can we until I Have the visa. The thing is the Visa is only valid for 6 months. We are afraid we are not gonna have enough time to have the wedding we want. We plan on having a very small intimate wedding just a couple of family members and very close friends. But still we would like to celebrate It in big. WHAT DO WE DO!

LondonLisa

Korraav said:

Hey Brides to be! 

First off congrats to all the brides reading this!

So yeah Me and My FI are already a month engaged. YAY! And we had our wedding planned for July 22 2017. It was gonna be a 2 yr engagement. He is from Scotland and since He engaged me at my home place PR we wanted to get married In his. But due to the fact that I need to sort out some visa stuff we don't have an exact wedding date nor can we until I Have the visa. The thing is the Visa is only valid for 6 months. We are afraid we are not gonna have enough time to have the wedding we want. We plan on having a very small intimate wedding just a couple of family members and very close friends. But still we would like to celebrate It in big. WHAT DO WE DO!

All things being equal, what do you mean by "celebrate big"? Does this mean a fancy venue? Expensive meal and drinks? 

I think you and your fi need to do some soul searching about what is actually important to you and spell it out. Does it have to be July 2017? In Scotland? With all of your family?  Because honestly, I doubt it will ALL be possible. A small wedding can be planned in 6 months, but that means it may be too late notice for some of your guests. 

Most venues in the UK book up at least 12 months in advance, so maybe look at having your wedding at a church or registry office and the reception at a nice restaurant. If you are having a small wedding, then the castle/ stately home route won't work for you because most of them have minimums (I am getting married in a stately home in England and I have a 120 person minimum). 

Jells2dot0

I agree with @LondonLisa. When having a DW (or in your case, having it require significant travel for only your family) you often can't have everything you originally envision because the logistics are tough. Even when couples plan a year+ in advance, there are still logistics issues because of the travel, legal concerns, and having to plan from afar.

 

Also, I would try to find a wedding planner in Scotland and get their input as to what is feasible and what is not when waiting on a visa. Depending on what you want they can be helping you narrow things down and be on the ground running when your visa comes through.

[Deleted User]

We had planned to have it For July 2017 but due to the visa stuff we decided to postpone it for Later. we are not sure of a date anymore tbh. bc we decided on July 2017 just because we wanted to get married as soon as possible after i got my nursing degree. But with all this we decided to postpone it. My FI is actually in Scotland trying to sort out what type of restaurants,Venue's,Pub's there is close to the Church we originally picked. Like I said This is a very small intimate wedding. There are just tops 5 members of my family and 3 of my closest friends. The other is his close family and friends. and by big celebration we mean like an elegant reception. 

LondonLisa

Korraav said:

We had planned to have it For July 2017 but due to the visa stuff we decided to postpone it for Later. we are not sure of a date anymore tbh. bc we decided on July 2017 just because we wanted to get married as soon as possible after i got my nursing degree. But with all this we decided to postpone it. My FI is actually in Scotland trying to sort out what type of restaurants,Venue's,Pub's there is close to the Church we originally picked. Like I said This is a very small intimate wedding. There are just tops 5 members of my family and 3 of my closest friends. The other is his close family and friends. and by big celebration we mean like an elegant reception. 

Ok, but what do you ACTUALLY mean by an elegant reception? That is just a synonym of a big celebration. Is it a fancy venue? Gourmet meal? Expert wine choices? Expensive dress? I would be happy to help but I need to know what you want. 

It is doubtful a venue like a pub or restaurant will let you book 2/3 years out (2017/2018)

In all honestly, the visa system is changing a lot, and I don't know if it will be the same in 2017-2018. We just had an election in the UK and the conservative government is likely to change the requirements of getting married over here before then making them much more strict. 

http://www.heraldscotland.com/politics/wider-political-news/david-cameron-unveils-immigration-crackdown.126844214

Do you plan on settling in the UK after marriage?

mikenberger

Why in the world are you busying yourself with this for something two possibly three years down the road? You can't really do anything now but figure out what you need to get your visa - which even that may change in the duration. 

I wouldn't try figuring this out right now. Concentrate on school and enjoy being engaged.

ETA: Words. English. Difficult.

XrebeccaX

Sort out the legality/bureaucracy of your visa etc first. If you only have six months to work with you will likely have to adjust your expectations. As PP said many popular castle/manor house venues have guest count minimums which is why we were married on a Wednesday and not a Saturday.

The timing issues and paperwork requirements can be daunting but it's doable if you're on top of it.

redoryx

I think you're putting the cart WAY before the horse on this one. First, figure out at least what you need to do to get the visa. Then, if possible, figure out how long it will take to apply and be approved for said visa. Then, add six months.

That's how much time you have to work with. If you still want to hold to your original wedding date, just work backwards from there to know when you need to apply, being sure to add buffer in for usual red tape that can hold things up.

[Deleted User]

LondonLisa said:

Korraav said:

We had planned to have it For July 2017 but due to the visa stuff we decided to postpone it for Later. we are not sure of a date anymore tbh. bc we decided on July 2017 just because we wanted to get married as soon as possible after i got my nursing degree. But with all this we decided to postpone it. My FI is actually in Scotland trying to sort out what type of restaurants,Venue's,Pub's there is close to the Church we originally picked. Like I said This is a very small intimate wedding. There are just tops 5 members of my family and 3 of my closest friends. The other is his close family and friends. and by big celebration we mean like an elegant reception. 

Ok, but what do you ACTUALLY mean by an elegant reception? That is just a synonym of a big celebration. Is it a fancy venue? Gourmet meal? Expert wine choices? Expensive dress? I would be happy to help but I need to know what you want. 

It is doubtful a venue like a pub or restaurant will let you book 2/3 years out (2017/2018)

In all honestly, the visa system is changing a lot, and I don't know if it will be the same in 2017-2018. We just had an election in the UK and the conservative government is likely to change the requirements of getting married over here before then making them much more strict. 

http://www.heraldscotland.com/politics/wider-political-news/david-cameron-unveils-immigration-crackdown.126844214

Do you plan on settling in the UK after marriage?

Hun By big celebration we mean: Elegant Venue, fancy Dress, Outstanding decoration, and of course Amazing tasting food. Trust me Ik we have a lot of time to plan this but We are two people who come from totally different cultures and it is a bit hard to decide on the simplest of things. We are just scared on booking everything on short notice. Thats why we want to have our ideas set so when I get the visa and get over there all we have to do is get things paid and done! 

LondonLisa

Korraav said:

LondonLisa said:

Korraav said:

We had planned to have it For July 2017 but due to the visa stuff we decided to postpone it for Later. we are not sure of a date anymore tbh. bc we decided on July 2017 just because we wanted to get married as soon as possible after i got my nursing degree. But with all this we decided to postpone it. My FI is actually in Scotland trying to sort out what type of restaurants,Venue's,Pub's there is close to the Church we originally picked. Like I said This is a very small intimate wedding. There are just tops 5 members of my family and 3 of my closest friends. The other is his close family and friends. and by big celebration we mean like an elegant reception. 

Ok, but what do you ACTUALLY mean by an elegant reception? That is just a synonym of a big celebration. Is it a fancy venue? Gourmet meal? Expert wine choices? Expensive dress? I would be happy to help but I need to know what you want. 

It is doubtful a venue like a pub or restaurant will let you book 2/3 years out (2017/2018)

In all honestly, the visa system is changing a lot, and I don't know if it will be the same in 2017-2018. We just had an election in the UK and the conservative government is likely to change the requirements of getting married over here before then making them much more strict. 

http://www.heraldscotland.com/politics/wider-political-news/david-cameron-unveils-immigration-crackdown.126844214

Do you plan on settling in the UK after marriage?

Hun By big celebration we mean: Elegant Venue, fancy Dress, Outstanding decoration, and of course Amazing tasting food. Trust me Ik we have a lot of time to plan this but We are two people who come from totally different cultures and it is a bit hard to decide on the simplest of things. We are just scared on booking everything on short notice. Thats why we want to have our ideas set so when I get the visa and get over there all we have to do is get things paid and done! 

Well here is your first lesson- if you tell British people to show up in Fancy Dress, they will come like this:

Fancy dress means costume party....

LondonLisa

I'm sorry, but you need a really big reality check. You are having a small wedding, so that means you aren't going to have the grand venue as you most likely won't have the numbers. Also, 6 months is far to short notice for the big venues. Also, what is the point of planning it, when it can all change? What I have been trying to tell you repeatedly is you are going to have to be flexible, and if you want to get married in Scotland, it is going to have to have a lot of compromises. 

The castle I am getting married in booked up 18 months in advance. Also, if you want to get married in a CofS church, you and your fi have to go to that Church at least 6 times over a minimum of 6 months (meaning at least once a month starting no less than 6 months from the date of your marriage, you cant do it all in one go over 6 weeks before your wedding). You may not be able to get married in a Church as you will not be living in the UK for this. You should look at nice registry offices. 

Grand venues and churches work on a 10-15 months in advance calendar. 

Honestly, your best bet is to get married at the registry office and book a private room in a nice restaurant. Sure, it is fine to think of a couple of restaurants you would like to book, but the key here is to have a couple options. 

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. So by all means, think about what dress you want, what colours you would like, but you are being very silly to start looking at vendors 3 years in advance. No vendor is going to start working with you without a date and deposit, which you would be foolish to set without your visa. Also, think about what colours/dresses you liked 3 years ago vs now- your taste and style is going to change! So pintrerest away; have a few colours and styles you like and when you get your visa, have a few numbers you can call and inquire if they are still available AFTER you get your visa

I seriously cannot implore you enough: you need to put wedding planning on the back burner and focus on talking with an immigration lawyer. Am I understanding correctly that you have only met a couple of times? That is a huge red flag to immigration control.

I get that you are excited, but it is so silly to be freaking out 3 years in advance. 

redoryx

Korraav said:

LondonLisa said:

Korraav said:

We had planned to have it For July 2017 but due to the visa stuff we decided to postpone it for Later. we are not sure of a date anymore tbh. bc we decided on July 2017 just because we wanted to get married as soon as possible after i got my nursing degree. But with all this we decided to postpone it. My FI is actually in Scotland trying to sort out what type of restaurants,Venue's,Pub's there is close to the Church we originally picked. Like I said This is a very small intimate wedding. There are just tops 5 members of my family and 3 of my closest friends. The other is his close family and friends. and by big celebration we mean like an elegant reception. 

Ok, but what do you ACTUALLY mean by an elegant reception? That is just a synonym of a big celebration. Is it a fancy venue? Gourmet meal? Expert wine choices? Expensive dress? I would be happy to help but I need to know what you want. 

It is doubtful a venue like a pub or restaurant will let you book 2/3 years out (2017/2018)

In all honestly, the visa system is changing a lot, and I don't know if it will be the same in 2017-2018. We just had an election in the UK and the conservative government is likely to change the requirements of getting married over here before then making them much more strict. 

http://www.heraldscotland.com/politics/wider-political-news/david-cameron-unveils-immigration-crackdown.126844214

Do you plan on settling in the UK after marriage?

Hun By big celebration we mean: Elegant Venue, fancy Dress, Outstanding decoration, and of course Amazing tasting food. Trust me Ik we have a lot of time to plan this but We are two people who come from totally different cultures and it is a bit hard to decide on the simplest of things. We are just scared on booking everything on short notice. Thats why we want to have our ideas set so when I get the visa and get over there all we have to do is get things paid and done! 

I don't think you actually understand how all of this works. Which is okay, that's why we are here to help but I implore you to take @londonlisa's advice and put the planning on the back burner and focus on the immigration issues.

WinstonsGirl

Please get started quick on your immigration papers.  My BIL married someone from Poland and it took her over 3 years to get her papers.  Her lawyer told her to not leave the country even though her Visa had expired cos they wouldn't let her back in, so she was technically here illegally while the government continued to lose and lose again her file and all of the papers they re-submitted each time they were lost.  You have no idea how long it will take to come through in the long run.  Good luck in the process