Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inviting Friend who is Separating from SO

I recently found out a friend of mine is starting the process of divorce. He was sent a STD addressed to him and his wife.  I'm only friends with the wife because of my friend, and I've only met her a few times. When I send out my invites next month, do I still address to Mr & Mrs or just Mr.? My friend has also informed me that his wife is planning on moving out of their house at the end of the month.

Re: Inviting Friend who is Separating from SO

  • Seeing as the wife would only be invited if she was still with your friend, then I think it is fine to address the invite to your friend only.  You can also give him a plus one if you feel inclined to do so.

    I would just triple check that they are in fact separated before sending the invite.  Sometimes people will reconcile so you just want to make sure.

  • I'd invite your friend with a +1 (assuming they are still separated when you send the invite) - that way, if they do reconcile before the wedding, you have it in your budget for him to bring her along, and she was technically an invited guest.
  • Seeing as the wife would only be invited if she was still with your friend, then I think it is fine to address the invite to your friend only.  You can also give him a plus one if you feel inclined to do so.

    I would just triple check that they are in fact separated before sending the invite.  Sometimes people will reconcile so you just want to make sure.
    This. I was in a similar situation when I sent invites. I spoke to the person to confirm her new address; she had moved out and was 100% definitely going through with the divorce, so I sent the invite only to her. It was fine. 
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  • Just address the friend. I had the same situation (break up - not divorce) with one of my BMs - I'd already sent the STD addressed to both. I ended up just inviting her with a guest. No big deal. 
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  • We had this same situation too.  Found out a guy FI plays hockey with is now divorced.  Neither of us had ever met the wife.  So we're just inviting him and giving him a plus one. 
    Married 9.12.15
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  • I'd just invite your friend without his wife.  But yeah, make sure that he and his wife are definitely separated before you send him an invitation.  If you're okay with his bringing a plus one, then invite him with a plus one.
  • Thank you. That's what I was thinking, but since it's proper etiquette to invite all those who received the STD, I wanted to double check. 
  • As PPs said, I would check with your friend first. My friend is separated from her H, and sometimes I see her with her ring on, sometimes it's off. Sometimes it sounds like they're starting to get a divorce, and then I see a picture of them together on instagram. It's confusing, and rather than try to guess their relationship status and possibly offend one of them, I'm asking my friend what she wants to do. And if she does tell me she'd like to be invited without her H, I do plan to still give her a plus one.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • Seeing as the wife would only be invited if she was still with your friend, then I think it is fine to address the invite to your friend only.  You can also give him a plus one if you feel inclined to do so.

    I would just triple check that they are in fact separated before sending the invite.  Sometimes people will reconcile so you just want to make sure.
    This. I was in a similar situation when I sent invites. I spoke to the person to confirm her new address; she had moved out and was 100% definitely going through with the divorce, so I sent the invite only to her. It was fine. 
    same
  • Another vote for inviting just him if they aren't living together when you send out the invitiations.

  • Totally OK not to invite a separated partner if the reason they would have gotten an invite in the first place was because they were in a relationship with someone you were inviting.  I didn't invite the wife of one of my friends from college because they have been separated for over a year as of our wedding (just now getting to filing a divorce).  I did check with him first though, to make sure that is what he wanted me to do.
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