Reception Timeline/Order - Opinions Needed!

AmbreJewel

Hey everyone!

This is my very first post on here!  And I need YOUR opinions!!

I am getting married October 2nd which is a Friday. Due to that and because of time constraints at our venue (we have the place from 4-11p), we decided to have an evening wedding without dancing (aside from our first dance) and to keep it classy (dance party = drunken dance party to some of my family).

So for reference, here is a basic timeline which is NOT ALTERABLE at this point:

 6:30-7:00 Ceremony (followed by receiving line as guests move onto the cocktail hour which is on a nearby patio outside the reception room)

 7:00-8:00 Cocktail Hour (serving hors d'oeuvres - cheese/cracker tray, veggie tray, shrimp cocktail, and pinwheels, signature cocktail, red and white wine)

 8:00-10:00 Reception

For the reception, we thought it would be a great idea to get everyone seated as soon as they enter for our slideshow. We will have a table setup with wine for toasting along with their escort cards which they can grab on their way. We don't think it will be an issue to have them wait a bit for the dinner since they will have had access to food and drink for an hour before and figure no serving ware or plates on the tables with closed chafing dishes would give them the hint.

 Right as the slideshow wraps up, while they've still got their eyes at the front, we would be introduced and go directly into our first dance (waltz from "Adamm's Family .

Following this we would like our wedding party to do their toasts and then have our last groomsman announce that dinner is served.

After dinner comes to a natural end (probably about 1 hour with 150 people in a double line buffet), we will move onto the cake cutting and open the dessert table.

I would really appreciate your opinions on all this thusfar, but I also could use some ideas on how to end the evening. We want our exit to be the cue that it is time to go, but I don’t want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, so we’re stuck figuring out how to politely indicate the evening is over. We only get the venue until 11pm and have to clean everything up ourselves, so that’s pretty important.

Any ideas and opinions are welcomed!!!

ILoveBeachMusic

How long is this slideshow? I am not a fan of slideshows at a reception where the guests have to sit and watch it. If they are milling around and watching it ,that is another thing because watching it is optional. I also think it is a bit awkward that you are having a "first" dance but no one else is having a dance. Will there be music playing during  the time people are having dessert and socializing? You are estimating an hour for dessert? I think that is too long. People will probably leave if there is nothing else going on. You could do a grand exit, where you leave the reception room amid applause and such but I don't quite know how you would orchestrate that since you have to clean up the room.

artbyallie

Knottie55847732 said:

Hey everyone!

This is my very first post on here!  And I need YOUR opinions!!

I am getting married October 2nd which is a Friday. Due to that and because of time constraints at our venue (we have the place from 4-11p), we decided to have an evening wedding without dancing (aside from our first dance) and to keep it classy (dance party = drunken dance party to some of my family).

So for reference, here is a basic timeline which is NOT ALTERABLE at this point:

 6:30-7:00 Ceremony (followed by receiving line as guests move onto the cocktail hour which is on a nearby patio outside the reception room)

 7:00-8:00 Cocktail Hour (serving hors d'oeuvres - cheese/cracker tray, veggie tray, shrimp cocktail, and pinwheels, signature cocktail, red and white wine)

 8:00-10:00 Reception

For the reception, we thought it would be a great idea to get everyone seated as soon as they enter for our slideshow. We will have a table setup with wine for toasting along with their escort cards which they can grab on their way. We don't think it will be an issue to have them wait a bit for the dinner since they will have had access to food and drink for an hour before and figure no serving ware or plates on the tables with closed chafing dishes would give them the hint.

Not okay to force people to watch a slideshow. Have it playing on loop during the reception, fine. Have a set time for everyone to do nothing except watch it, hell no. Slideshows suck, sorry. Yours is not the exception.

 Right as the slideshow wraps up, while they've still got their eyes at the front, we would be introduced and go directly into our first dance (waltz from "Adamm's Family .

IMO also not okay to have a first dance and then not let your guests dance at all. The spotlight dance(s) are supposed to open the dance floor. Either everyone gets to dance or no one does.

Following this we would like our wedding party to do their toasts and then have our last groomsman announce that dinner is served.

Two toasts max, no longer than a minute or two each at the very very most. Do not ask everyone in your wedding party to speak. In fact, do not ask ANYONE to give a toast, as that is something done in your honor and should be on the initiative of the toast-giver. Announce dinner yourselves if you are not paying someone else (day-of coordinator, DJ, emcee) to do so.

After dinner comes to a natural end (probably about 1 hour with 150 people in a double line buffet), we will move onto the cake cutting and open the dessert table.

I would really appreciate your opinions on all this thusfar, but I also could use some ideas on how to end the evening. We want our exit to be the cue that it is time to go, but I don’t want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, so we’re stuck figuring out how to politely indicate the evening is over. We only get the venue until 11pm and have to clean everything up ourselves, so that’s pretty important.

Close the bar a half hour to an hour before you want everyone gone. People will leave. Especially with no dancing, most people will leave immediately after the cake is cut.

Any ideas and opinions are welcomed!!!

JoanE2012

Please don't force your guests to watch a slideshow.....it's boring at best.  Trust me.

It's rude to let yourself and DH dance, but then close the floor and not let anyone else dance.  Make a decision to either have it all or have nothing.  And if you have no dancing, I strongly suggest at least some background music.

When the reception is over, simply turn on the house lights....your guests will quickly get the point.  Then, you and your DH can stand near the door and say goodbye to everyone.  You don't need a grand exit for yourselves.

southernbelle0915

The part that's not alterable sounds fine. But I would serve dinner right away at 8:00. That's pretty late to start serving dinner. Do your entrance as people are being served. At 8:45, do toasts - 2 max and each one shouldn't be more than a minute or two. At 8:55, do your first dance. At 9:00 cut the cake (your GM could announce this instead if dinner. DJ announces last call at 9:30.

Skip the slideshow. You really don't have time and most people find them painfully boring anyway. Or if you really want to do it, have it on a loop on the guest book table. That way, people who care, can watch it if they want to.

Viczaesar

Knottie55847732 said:

Hey everyone!

This is my very first post on here!  And I need YOUR opinions!!

I am getting married October 2nd which is a Friday. Due to that and because of time constraints at our venue (we have the place from 4-11p), we decided to have an evening wedding without dancing (aside from our first dance) and to keep it classy (dance party = drunken dance party to some of my family).

So for reference, here is a basic timeline which is NOT ALTERABLE at this point:

 6:30-7:00 Ceremony (followed by receiving line as guests move onto the cocktail hour which is on a nearby patio outside the reception room)

 7:00-8:00 Cocktail Hour (serving hors d'oeuvres - cheese/cracker tray, veggie tray, shrimp cocktail, and pinwheels, signature cocktail, red and white wine)

 8:00-10:00 Reception

For the reception, we thought it would be a great idea to get everyone seated as soon as they enter for our slideshow. We will have a table setup with wine for toasting along with their escort cards which they can grab on their way. We don't think it will be an issue to have them wait a bit for the dinner since they will have had access to food and drink for an hour before and figure no serving ware or plates on the tables with closed chafing dishes would give them the hint.

 Right as the slideshow wraps up, while they've still got their eyes at the front, we would be introduced and go directly into our first dance (waltz from "Adamm's Family .

Following this we would like our wedding party to do their toasts and then have our last groomsman announce that dinner is served.

After dinner comes to a natural end (probably about 1 hour with 150 people in a double line buffet), we will move onto the cake cutting and open the dessert table.

I would really appreciate your opinions on all this thusfar, but I also could use some ideas on how to end the evening. We want our exit to be the cue that it is time to go, but I don’t want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, so we’re stuck figuring out how to politely indicate the evening is over. We only get the venue until 11pm and have to clean everything up ourselves, so that’s pretty important.

Any ideas and opinions are welcomed!!!

Three main issues - keeping people waiting for dinner, forced slideshow viewing, and first dance if nobody else is allowed to dance.  Go straight to dinner at 8, have the slideshow playing on a loop somewhere to the side so people can watch during cocktail hour if they're interested or avoid if they're not, and have all toasts (no more than 5-6 minutes of toasts total) during dinner so people can eat during them.  Cut the first dance altogether if you're not allowing anyone else to dance.  Alternatively, have dinner from 8-9 and then at 9 have your first dance and open the dance floor to everyone for the last hour.

Maggie0829

No forced watching of a slideshow.  Slideshows, when forced to watch them, are just down right horrible.  Don't do this to your guests.

If you aren't having dancing then there should be no first dance.

Do not ask anyone to give a toast.  If someone volunteers, great, but don't force it.  And remember they are toasts.  So really 30 seconds to a minutes, tops.  Anything longer and you are most likely going to have speeches full of inside jokes that half of your guests will probably not understand.

Serve dinner immediately at 8pm.  Cut your cake at 9pm and close the bar at 9:30pm.  With no dancing people will most likely leave after they get their slice of cake.

I also don't understand having a grand exit when you have to stay and clean up.  Typically when you have a grand exit the couple gets into a car and actually leaves.  They don't do an exit and then turn around and walk back into the building.  So skip the grand exit, and when you close the bar at 9:30 turn up the lights and people will get the hint that it is time to go.  If there are any stragglers at 10pm then you cleaning up and tearing things down will pretty much tell them that the night is over.

Jen4948

Knottie55847732 said:

Hey everyone!

This is my very first post on here!  And I need YOUR opinions!!

I am getting married October 2nd which is a Friday. Due to that and because of time constraints at our venue (we have the place from 4-11p), we decided to have an evening wedding without dancing (aside from our first dance) and to keep it classy (dance party = drunken dance party to some of my family).

So for reference, here is a basic timeline which is NOT ALTERABLE at this point:

 6:30-7:00 Ceremony (followed by receiving line as guests move onto the cocktail hour which is on a nearby patio outside the reception room)

 7:00-8:00 Cocktail Hour (serving hors d'oeuvres - cheese/cracker tray, veggie tray, shrimp cocktail, and pinwheels, signature cocktail, red and white wine)

 8:00-10:00 Reception

For the reception, we thought it would be a great idea to get everyone seated as soon as they enter for our slideshow.

Skip the slideshow.  Wedding guests do not like being treated as captive audiences for anything other than the ceremony, toasts, cake cutting, and spotlight dances for the couple and their parents.  Beyond that, they get antsy and impatient.  If you need to do the slideshow, put it on a loop and run it in the background - not with the lights out and everyone forced to watch it.

We will have a table setup with wine for toasting along with their escort cards which they can grab on their way. We don't think it will be an issue to have them wait a bit for the dinner since they will have had access to food and drink for an hour before and figure no serving ware or plates on the tables with closed chafing dishes would give them the hint.

Keeping people waiting for dinner will get you side-eyed.  It doesn't matter if they've "had access to food an drink for an hour before."  It's late at 8pm.  People want to eat dinner - not watch slideshows or stand around.  There are going to be places for them to sit during cocktail hour, I hope-especially if it actually lasts for an hour?

 Right as the slideshow wraps up, while they've still got their eyes at the front, we would be introduced and go directly into our first dance (waltz from "Adamm's Family .

Skip your first dance if the guests are not going to be allowed to dance.  Few things get more side-eyes than doing anything for yourselves, or serving anything to yourselves, that the guests will not be allowed themselves. 

Following this we would like our wedding party to do their toasts and then have our last groomsman announce that dinner is served.

Only two toasts of two minutes each should be done.  More than that and again, you'll be treating your guests like a captive audience.  Not cool.

After dinner comes to a natural end (probably about 1 hour with 150 people in a double line buffet), we will move onto the cake cutting and open the dessert table.

I would really appreciate your opinions on all this thusfar, but I also could use some ideas on how to end the evening. We want our exit to be the cue that it is time to go, but I don’t want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, so we’re stuck figuring out how to politely indicate the evening is over. We only get the venue until 11pm and have to clean everything up ourselves, so that’s pretty important.

If you have to stay and clean up, then a grand exit does not make sense.  You could try dimming the lights, making an announcement that the bar is closed, and so on.

Any ideas and opinions are welcomed!!!

My comments are in bold.

aliwis000

I agree with the PP.

1. No forced slideshow. I do not like sitting through these. Just have it on a loop in a corner. People are much more comfortable viewing for a few moments and then walking by.

2. No first dance if it is the only one. I always saw the first dance(s) as opening the floor kind of. If nobody gets to dance but you two that seems rude.

3. Only 2 toasts TOTAL. Remember, these are TOASTS NOT SPEECHES! 30-45 sec max for each.

4. Serve dinner at earlier. If your cocktail hour is 7-8 at 7:40 start having the coordinator get people inside and seated.  Then:
8pm - Grand introduction of you and your new spouse
8:02pm - First dance for you and your new spouse (omit this if you are not going to let others dance, but if there is a place for it just play some music during and after dinner people can dance to. Does not have to be a club.)
8:05 - Start serving dinner. You too eat first and then you can cut the cake while people are still going through the line  - When everyone has plates let your TWO people give their very short toasts.
9:05 - Everyone at least has food and is done eating or finishing up eating. Play some music so people can dance. As noted above it does not have to be club music, nice American standards are wonderful for dancing and give a classy vibe. PLUS this is a great way to have and end. Announcing a last dance gives people this clue.

AmbreJewel

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J

New thoughts?

Maggie0829

Knottie55847732 said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

Tell me how not including all of the following (which is basically making your guests sit through a performance) would make it seem like you were trying so hard not to include your profession in your wedding?  Doctors don't perform surgeries at their weddings.  Dentists don't clean teeth at their weddings.  I certainly didn't make my guests watch me write a set of minutes at my wedding.  Not including your profession in your wedding is actually pretty easy to do.

And I don't want to be rude but all of this is so over the top attention grabbing.  The reception is a thank you to your guests for coming to your ceremony.  Not a place for you to do more "look at me" stuff.  As a guest I do not want to sit around for 15+ minutes before I eat to watch a slideshow and some performance by the couple.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Are you paying your pianist friend?  You should since he will be working your wedding.

Then don't play dance party music.  But shockingly old people and kids like to get down with their bad selves from time to time.

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

You can certainly just walk into your reception without being introduced.  In fact, if you are done pictures early you can just join in on the cocktail hour and then head straight for your table when dinner is served.  And I find it funny that you want to slip in unnoticed but yet you want to put on a performance.  So which is it?

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity!

All that is really unnecessary.  Your event is not that long and most parents come prepared with things their young children will enjoy.  Also the kids will most likely play with the other kids.  They really don't need an activity to keep them happy.

And pictures from disposable cameras generally never turn out, especially if taken by little kids.  So you will be spending money to maybe get one good picture and then a bunch of random pictures of a kids nose and table cloth.

New thoughts?

Jen4948

Knottie55847732 said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

My advice to skip the slideshow stands.  Nobody wants to watch a cheesy 5-minute slideshow.  And nobody cares about watching you describe how you and your FI consider each other "the perfect man/woman" for each other at the reception.  That's why they attended the ceremony.  This still treats them like a captive audience-and even 5 minutes of this is too much.

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

Again, I'd skip this if you're not going to let everyone else dance.  Your comment that you're not having general dancing because you're trying to keep the needs of elderly or kids among your guests just doesn't fly.  First, both elderly persons and kids are capable of dancing, and it's not okay to punish your guests by forcing them to watch you dance while not being allowed to do so themselves.  Doesn't matter how "not serious/uptight" this is supposed to be-doing a first dance of any type while not letting your guests dance is just plain inconsiderate of your guests.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly.So don't dance yourselves.  The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).You don't know for sure that everyone is going to want to dance at an after party.  If you want to skip dancing, then skip it for yourselves too.  Or do it in private on your own time.   

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells   

Again, just skip the bolded.  No one wants to see any short films or an "Addams Waltz" if they don't get to dance. 

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J 

Sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth to be "cute and fun."  You don't need to provide special entertainment for kids-and they'll need supervision by adults throughout all this.  Their parents are not going to want to supervise them on a scavenger hunt while trying to enjoy themselves.  Just skip the scavenger hunt.

New thoughts?

You're not being considerate of your guests by forcing them to sit through a slideshow and first dance when they don't get to dance.  Lose them both.  And lose the scavenger hunt.  Logistically, a wedding reception is not a good occasion for a kids' scavenger hunt or "special kids' entertainment."

MyNameIsNot

I'm going to be perfectly honest. This performance really needs to go. It's cheesy and contrived at best, but it really sounds painful.

Your wedding is not the place to put on a performance. 

Skip the production, and add in some big band or ballroom music and let people dance to that as soon as dinner is over. 

Maggie0829

And just as a FYI OP, we really aren't just trying to shit on all of your ideas.  Rather these opinions/advice come from people who have attended a good amount of weddings and know as a guest what is and is not liked.  And all guests really care about is that you feed them some kick ass food, that you hydrate them via tasty alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages and that they have a place to put their butts.  As a guest we just want to have some food, chat with some friends, maybe dance a bit if you offer it and tell you congratulations.

ILoveBeachMusic

Totally agree with all PP. Skip any kind of performance. No dance if all guests can't dance. You can't just allow those that do ballroom dancing to dance. My husband and I ballroom dance .and we would feel odd if we were allowed to dance while others were not. Don't play party music as some one said. Play standards or big band. Treat your guests well, and they will enjoy themselves.

VulgarGirl

I love the theater. But when I go to the theater I pay to see the performance.

But when I'm going to a wedding I'm going to see my friends get married. Not see them put on a performance of getting married. I know this whole "performance skit thing" was adorable when they did it on One Tree Hill. But....and as a "theater professional" I expect you to know this, real life =/= TV.

climbingsingle

I don't care what your profession is. No one wants to sit through all of that. 

I just went to a wedding that had introductions, a first dance, bride dancing with her dad, groom dancing with his mom, anniversary dance, and then toasts by 3 people. It took forever, and honestly, most people weren't even paying attention by the time the toasts rolled around. None of this is entertaining for your guest. Skip the slideshow, at least. 

mikenberger

Please invite me. I promise not to throw rotting fruit.

southernbelle0915

Why does your profession have to be part of your wedding? I'm in healthcare and my H is an engineer. We didn't insist on nutrition labeling our stations or building stuff while our guests watched us. How odd. You say it'd be ridiculous not to include it, but it's actually pretty ridiculous TO include it.

Here are the things you should keep: intros, dinner, socializing, dessert. Here are the things you should axe: slide show, "short film", AW waltz and bows, scavenger hunt

Look - you have 2 hours to have a good time with the people you invited to witness your wedding. Stop trying to take advantage of them as a captive audience. Not only is it super AWish, but you'll probably end up feeling rushed and not be able to get through it all. 

Maggie0829

southernbelle0915 said:

Why does your profession have to be part of your wedding? I'm in healthcare and my H is an engineer. We didn't insist on nutrition labeling our stations or building stuff while our guests watched us. How odd. You say it'd be ridiculous not to include it, but it's actually pretty ridiculous TO include it.

Here are the things you should keep: intros, dinner, socializing, dessert. Here are the things you should axe: slide show, "short film", AW waltz and bows, scavenger hunt

Look - you have 2 hours to have a good time with the people you invited to witness your wedding. Stop trying to take advantage of them as a captive audience. Not only is it super AWish, but you'll probably end up feeling rushed and not be able to get through it all. 

I am now wishing every place had nutrtion labels, but that is only because I have become obsessed with MyFitnessPal

artbyallie

Why would you ask for advice and then not follow it when everyone suggests the same thing???

And you know what? I have a B.A. in Drama myself. YOUR WEDDING IS STILL NOT A PERFORMANCE. People are coming to see you get married, not watch your film.

Viczaesar

Addams Family waltz?  I thought they danced a tango. 

LondonLisa

AmbreJewel said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J

New thoughts?

I don't care if you are Adele Dazeem- it is SUPER AW and rude to make your guests sit through a theatrical performance of slideshows, singing, dancing, whatever. You get 1 spotlight dance, so 3 minutes maximum. 

I have been to Waltz balls- unless you are doing it yourself it is SUPER boring.  And I agree with @Viczaesar although the song may be called a waltz, they dance the tango. 

madamerwin

LondonLisa said:

AmbreJewel said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J

New thoughts?

I don't care if you are Adele Dazeem- it is SUPER AW and rude to make your guests sit through a theatrical performance of slideshows, singing, dancing, whatever. You get 1 spotlight dance, so 3 minutes maximum. 

I have been to Waltz balls- unless you are doing it yourself it is SUPER boring.  And I agree with @Viczaesar although the song may be called a waltz, they dance the tango. 

I just laughed out loud at the bolded.

I agree with everything PPs have said. I will add - as much as the scavenger hunt/photo thing sounds cute, do you know what happens when you give a bunch of kids cameras? They take pictures of random shit. I am willing to bet that when you develop the photos, you will find pictures of butts, blurry faces, fingers, and peoples' feet. Kids are really good at entertaining themselves, and not all kids are in to having to do structured activities at parties. Cool idea! But probably not going to go as planned, and you'll end up wasting money developing pictures of nothing.

BlueBirdMB

AmbreJewel said:

Hey everyone!

This is my very first post on here!  And I need YOUR opinions!!

I am getting married October 2nd which is a Friday. Due to that and because of time constraints at our venue (we have the place from 4-11p), we decided to have an evening wedding without dancing (aside from our first dance) and to keep it classy (dance party = drunken dance party to some of my family).

So for reference, here is a basic timeline which is NOT ALTERABLE at this point:

 6:30-7:00 Ceremony (followed by receiving line as guests move onto the cocktail hour which is on a nearby patio outside the reception room)

 7:00-8:00 Cocktail Hour (serving hors d'oeuvres - cheese/cracker tray, veggie tray, shrimp cocktail, and pinwheels, signature cocktail, red and white wine)

 8:00-10:00 Reception

You have plenty of time for dancing should you wish.  Your time line is a very normal length for a dinner/dancing reception.  Dancing isn't required though.

For the reception, we thought it would be a great idea to get everyone seated as soon as they enter for our slideshow.   NOOOOO SLIDESHOWS.  When did couples start thinking that holding people hostage at their wedding and forcing them to watch tacky, schmaltz be an AW, was a good idea?  If they don't already know you, they shouldn't be at your wedding.  Otherwise, a reception isn't a time to AW, it is a time to thank your guests for attending your wedding and letting them have fun, not grabbing attention for yourselves.  I personally cringe at slideshows and spend the time in the bathroom so I don't have to feel embarrassed for the couple.  We will have a table setup with wine for toasting along with their escort cards which they can grab on their way. We don't think it will be an issue to have them wait a bit for the dinner since they will have had access to food and drink for an hour before and figure no serving ware or plates on the tables with closed chafing dishes would give them the hint.  

 Right as the slideshow wraps up, while they've still got their eyes at the front, we would be introduced and go directly into our first dance (waltz from "Adamm's Family .  No slideshow.  Just do your first dance right after cocktail hour.

Following this we would like our wedding party to do their toasts and then have our last groomsman announce that dinner is served.

After dinner comes to a natural end (probably about 1 hour with 150 people in a double line buffet), we will move onto the cake cutting and open the dessert table.

I would really appreciate your opinions on all this thusfar, but I also could use some ideas on how to end the evening. We want our exit to be the cue that it is time to go, but I don’t want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, so we’re stuck figuring out how to politely indicate the evening is over. We only get the venue until 11pm and have to clean everything up ourselves, so that’s pretty important.  You could just have someone announce that the bride and groom are leaving and they are welcome to see you off.  It doesn't have to be a fancy "grand exit", just a time for people to see you off and know the wedding is over.

Any ideas and opinions are welcomed!!!

BlueBirdMB

AmbreJewel said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.  Jeez louise.  I'm also a professional performer.  Most of my friends are as well.  From my experience, true professionals do not see the need to show off their abilities at their weddings because they have the opportunity to do so at work on a daily basis.  Do computer technicians feel the need to demonstrate their skills at their wedding to gain attention?  No.  A wedding is not to demonstrate your skills and not a place to pay tribute to an important part of your life- it is a time to share a commitment you have made to each other and thank your guests for joining you.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).  Tacky schmaltz.  I'll say it again and again.  It's ridiculous and people will feel embarrassed for you.  If they are interested in knowing more about your story than they already know, they will ask you.  You don't have to shove it in their faces.

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  NO SCHMALTZ.  Bowing is schmaltz and silly.  Again, you are missing the point of a wedding.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.  Having a waltz for a first dance is fine as long as you don't throw the theme in people's faces.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J

New thoughts?

lyndausvi

People like to to eat, drink and mingle.    They do not like to sit though a lot of toasts or performances.   Then just don't.  They certainly do to want to sit down during the last 15 minutes to watch a performance.  Sorry, they don't.  During deserts people are going to be up and about. They are going to be mingling.  Some will even start to leave.     No one is going to want to be called back to their seat to watch a slideshow or performance.

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

10:00 end

Make it simple.  You already have a tight reception timeframe.   I'm not trying to be mean here.  I've attended and worked a lot of weddings in my time.   People just do not like 15 min toasts or performance.  They certainly do not want to be summoned back to their seats 15 minutes after the just got up.  They want to be talking with their family and friends.

If you really want a slide show 

JoanE2012

AmbreJewel said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J

New thoughts?

------Boxes-------

Well, at least you're doing this at the end of the night.  I'd get my dessert and high tail it out of the place as soon as the AWish productions started.

PrettyGirlLost

JoanE2012 said:

AmbreJewel said:

Thanks for the responses! It has definitely helped me rethink and reshape the reception. Now, I’m asking for your opinions of the altered concept…

But first, I should clarify a few things that I’m afraid I didn’t make clear and might change your perspective on the entire thing –

The first thing being that I left out one very important aspect – we are both theatre/music theatre professionals.  I bring this up because I have seen so many articles and posts all over the place about how your wedding is not a show.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment there, because we are both in that profession it is a touch of our theme and it would be ridiculous to ignore that aspect of our lives. Our guests would definitely recognize that we were TRYING hard not to incorporate it.  So the WHOLE evening will not be a show, but 15 minutes of it will give an ode that that very important aspect of our lives.

Second is regarding the “slideshow”.  What we had in mind was more of a short film (5 minutes or less) rather than the monotonous picture reel via PowerPoint which is the typical slideshow.  There would be a tiny little blip about how “boy met girl” depending on which script we go with, but we planned to make it a bit funnier and playful either way.  The thought was to have it look like we are being interviewed about the other separately (kind of like the “newlyweds game”), but EVERYTHING we say is COMPLETELY opposite.  Or the other thought I had was to do interviews of us describing the perfect man/woman for us (as if it was before we met) and then we fall in love with someone who was not at all who we expected.  It would close with saying that “opposites attract”. Perhaps stupid sounding in text - would definitely translate better on film (and it’s meant to be just a touch cheesy).

As it finishes, we would be in place for the Addams’ waltz. After the waltz, we would thank everyone for coming and take our “bows” then have our parents take their “bows”, etc.  We will have the same live musicians from the ceremony (1st and 2^nd violin, cello, piano, and clarinet) for the waltz. Keep in mind the waltz is meant to be fun with a bit of humour (remember the look on Morticia's face and how she spun impossibly fast?) - not a serious/uptight thing.

As far as music for the rest of the reception, the plan is to have a pianist for the start of dinner and segue into music from an iPod (or vise versa) as the pianist is also a guest – we don’t want him playing the entire time.  There are a few of my family members who ballroom dance and we would certainly welcome that – what we are trying to avoid is a dance party. There just isn’t enough time and we don’t want that kind of music out of respect for the majority of the guest list which includes a lot of kids and elderly. The night will end early enough for the partiers to go to an after party.  We do have a place to suggest and if it seems many will move on to that, we will likely make an appearance for a short time (the place has my favourite margaritas in town and there is a guy in a kilt on that dance floor every weekend without fail – who doesn’t love that??).

Now for our entrance: I’d rather just slip in unnoticed so I can drown in wine before anyone notices… but I know that will not go over as well as I’m imagining, especially when I’m caught hiding under the dessert table and reaching up for the crème puffs, lol!

So, I’m thinking we’ll make our entrance at the end of cocktail hour and usher everyone in for dinner.

And now that I’ve explained everything in the opposite order above, here is the altered reception timeline in the correct order! J

7:55 – entrance on patio/end of cocktail hour

8:00-8:15 – seating/start dinner in reception room

8:15-9:15 – dinner

9:15-9:30 – cake cutting/dessert line opens

9:45-10:00 – short film during dessert, followed by “Addams’ Waltz”/farewells

Regarding kiddies’ entertainment… Most of our guests will have young kids so we thought it would be fun to have a “mission” for them as a way to keep them entertained throughout the evening. We are giving each of them a disposable camera to complete a photo scavenger hunt.  Some items might be to get a picture with the bride and groom or take a picture with a new friend, etc. Something parents could have fun helping their kids with through the evening and get everyone to really mingle a bit more. Then we will ask them to the leave the cameras which will be labeled with their names and we will develop and upload them to a website for everyone to see. I like this idea because while we will have professional photographers, it will be cute and fun to see the kids’ perspectives – even if the pictures don’t come out great and/or they don’t do the actual activity! J

New thoughts?

------Boxes-------

Well, at least you're doing this at the end of the night.  I'd get my dessert and high tail it out of the place as soon as the AWish productions started.

This.  If I'm not going to be able to dance, then the reception has officially ended for me and I'm leaving.

kaos16

DH and I were both criminal prosecutors when we got married. . . . . everyone know it.  We didn't perform a mock trial at the reception to get that point into the theme, we had a signature cocktail named "smooth criminal" with a cute little sign indicating the ingredients with a picture of handcuffs on it. .. . . . . . tada, subtle nod to our profession.  Waltzing and bowing and all that other stuff is not subtle, nor is it fun for your guests to sit through.

Viczaesar

I feel the need to report back to this thread.  I rewatched both Addams Family movies this weekend and while there is a waltz in the first movie, he does not spin her incredibly fast; that's in the second movie, which is a tango, as I thought.