Wedding Etiquette Forum

Parent/Step Parent Etiquette

edited June 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My Fi's mother passed away very suddenly two years ago.  His step mother has been in his life since he was a child, but didn't really help to raise him.  How should she be introduced during the reception.  Can we introduce my Fi's parent's as, "....the groom's parents, Joe Smith and his step mother Jane" 

How do people handle step parents being introduced when the bio parent isn't alive?  Is there a certain etiquette that we have to follow when it comes to step parents? 

Re: Parent/Step Parent Etiquette

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    Why have them introduced at all?  The bride and groom are usually announced at the reception, but I have never seen the families announced.  Is stepmother going to stand in the reception line?  Is Fi's Dad hosting the wedding?  There is no reason to introduce them publicly.
    Their titles are Mr. and Mrs. John Groomsfather.  No explanations.  If you introduce them to someone, privately, this is what you should say.  Your FI's friends and family already know about the family.
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  • If you introduce, it's "the groom's parents, Joe & Jane Smith". It has nothing to do with who raised him.  
  • We didn't have our parents introduced at the wedding so you could just skip it.

  • My Fi's mother passed away very suddenly two years ago.  His step mother has been in his life since he was a child, but didn't really help to raise him.  How should she be introduced during the reception.  Can we introduce my Fi's parent's as, "....the groom's parents, Joe Smith and his step mother Jane" 

    How do people handle step parents being introduced when the bio parent isn't alive?  Is there a certain etiquette that we have to follow when it comes to step parents? 
    You introduce his Father and Step-Mom just like you would if his Mom was still alive.

  • If you're having them introduced at the reception, I don't think you can go wrong with "Mr. & Mrs. Groomsfather's last name".  If you're having a little remembrance or memorial during the ceremony for his mom, everything thereafter will be self-explanatory.  Besides, I would assume that the guests you invite would know you and your FI at a personal level and may know the circumstance already.  You may be reading into this too much.

     
  • If you're introducing them, then have them introduced as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."  Nothing more needs to be said.
  • I don't plan on announcing my mom and stepdad, but if I did, I would say "The bride's mother  julieannemom and her stepfather, julieannestepfather".  I don't really consider him my parent, but I was an adult when they got married, so it's a bit different. 
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  • peachy13peachy13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2015
    FI's mother also passed away. We are introducing his father and step-mother as "Father of the Groom Joe Smith and his wife Jane Smith."
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  • banana468 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Why have them introduced at all?  The bride and groom are usually announced at the reception, but I have never seen the families announced.  Is stepmother going to stand in the reception line?  Is Fi's Dad hosting the wedding?  There is no reason to introduce them publicly.
    Their titles are Mr. and Mrs. John Groomsfather.  No explanations.  If you introduce them to someone, privately, this is what you should say.  Your FI's friends and family already know about the family.
    FWIW, I've seen the parents introduced at nearly every wedding I've attended.   So while it may not be the custom for you, it certainly is in plenty of other locations. 

    Same here, plus grandparents are introduced if they are in attendance. 

    You could have them introcuced as The G's Father and Stepmother John and Jane Smith. 
                       
  • If you introduce, it's "the groom's parents, Joe & Jane Smith". It has nothing to do with who raised him.  
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    I would freak if my stepmonster was introduced as my parent. She most certainly is not. She is my father's wife, so a "Mr. Dad's Last Name, and his wife Ms. Her Last Name Because She Didn't Change Her Name When They Married" seems a lot more appropriate. But I agree with other PP that this is info I would expect to see on a program, not as an announcement.
  • If you HAVE to do an announcement, I think "Mr. Groomsfather and his wife, Gfatherswife" would be the best route.

    Around where I'm from I know a lot of people that get really offended if you refer to stepparents as the actual parent. I know I get offended when people call my grandfather's wife my grandmother. I feel like it does a dishonor to the actual parent/granparent/what have you to give their title away, especially if they've passed. 
  • edited June 2015
    BouxRadley said: If you HAVE to do an announcement, I think "Mr. Groomsfather and his wife, Gfatherswife" would be the best route.
    Around where I'm from I know a lot of people that get really offended if you refer to stepparents as the actual parent. I know I get offended when people call my grandfather's wife my grandmother. I feel like it does a dishonor to the actual parent/granparent/what have you to give their title away, especially if they've passed. 
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    I think it has more to do with individual feelings toward the step-parent than toward the actual parent, at least for FI. He usually introduces his stepmom as such, but has said, "My parents John and Jane" a few times for expedience; he was 12 or so when they married, and he has mixed feelings. His step-grandmother, on the other hand, I've only ever heard introduced as "my grandma", and I'd met her several times before I learned she was a step. His grandparents divorced and remarried when when his dad and siblings were still in school, so it's just been a matter of having three grandmothers his whole life.

    As for the OP's question, I'd introduce them as "the groom's father and step-mother, John and Jane" without saying "parents". FI's parents divorced and both remarried, and then his dad passed away last summer, so we're left with mother, step-father, and step-mother to introduce. We'll introduce them each by those titles, not by any "parents" unit, since he views his mom and step-mom as parents, but his step-dad married his mother much later and didn't do any parenting, and the moms are not a unit. My parents are a unit, and will be introduced as such.
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  • banana468 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Why have them introduced at all?  The bride and groom are usually announced at the reception, but I have never seen the families announced.  Is stepmother going to stand in the reception line?  Is Fi's Dad hosting the wedding?  There is no reason to introduce them publicly.
    Their titles are Mr. and Mrs. John Groomsfather.  No explanations.  If you introduce them to someone, privately, this is what you should say.  Your FI's friends and family already know about the family.
    FWIW, I've seen the parents introduced at nearly every wedding I've attended.   So while it may not be the custom for you, it certainly is in plenty of other locations. 
    Yup. Every wedding i've attended that had introductions has had the parents introduced.
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  • Thanks for all the suggestions.  In our area, the parents of the bride and groom are always introduced at the reception.   I will run these suggestions by my Fi. 
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