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Groom in blue evening sport coat but what should groomsman wear

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Re: Groom in blue evening sport coat but what should groomsman wear

  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:
    The tuxedo site is an excellent one, but it is British.  There are a few minor differences is customs, and perhaps this is one of them.  DH wears a charcoal pinstriped suit when he needs to wear one.  DS's first good suit was navy.  There are a lot of black suits sold in the USA, and I don't think they are all for funerals. My only opinion is that cat hair shows up on solid black more than a dark charcoal!
    This proves nothing, of course.  There were a lot of powder blue tuxedos rented in 1976, too.  Ugh!   This is why I urged the OP to choose a nice dark suit instead of that very blue jacket.  (I googled it.  It is from Kenneth Cole and it is expensive.  For shame!)
    What's wrong with an expensive jacket?

    Y'all are pearl clutching over a blue jacket. A BLUE JACKET. 
    Did you forget the pearl clutching over @hellohkb wanting to wear a black dress to her wedding? Cause people are very stupid and will get confused and think they are at a funeral if they see someone in a black dress.

    Gotta get them pearls all nice and clutched up.
    PrettyGirlLostFiancB
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @emmaaa I'm so sorry, so very sorry, but it appears your wedding might be invalid by the blue jackets sported by the men. Please let me know when you start planning your re-do. :)
    emmaaa
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    MagicInk said:
    @emmaaa I'm so sorry, so very sorry, but it appears your wedding might be invalid by the blue jackets sported by the men. Please let me know when you start planning your re-do. :)
    @MagicInk I just texted FI (not DH anymore, obvi) to start planning again!

    VulgarGirlhellohkbMairePoppysouthernbelle0915
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I dont't understand what's wrong with wearing something trendy for your wedding. I'm fortunate to have several very old family wedding portraits - my grandparent'scirca 1920's and my MIL and FIL's circa 1930's. They are decked out in the styles of those eras. My grandparents look like characters from Boardwalk Empire.  I love looking at those pictures. 

    For my wedding my groom and his men wore brown tuxes. The women wore qiana knit dresses. You can tell from my album that the wedding took place in the 1970's. My kids and I like to laugh at the hair styles and clothing in those pictures, but that's okay. One day a great grandchild may treasure that album the way I treasure my grandparent's wedding portrait. And my wedding dress is still hanging in my closet just for that future great great grandchild that might want a retro wedding.

    OP, if you're still around, go for it. If your fi loves that jacket, he should wear it. His gm should be dressed in a similar style -  navy blazers and gray slacks might work, since it seems like he wants to stand out a bit. Your pictures will be dated, but so what. Shouldn't the pictures reflect the date of your wedding?
    I agree with all of this.  I don't care how "by the book" you go, your pictures will look dated 30+ years from now.  

    I giggle at my Dad's big sideburns and brown tinted glasses and his brown tux with ruffled shirt in his wedding pictures.  My Mom's dress was actually pretty tame for a 70's dress and could have easily been reworked a bit a worn in a current wedding, but the hair, the color of the decor of their reception hall, the bridesmaid dresses (some weird yellow and brown floral pattern), all of it screams a 70's wedding.  And you know what?  That is okay because that is when they got married.  It shows how the world was back then.  What was in style and what they liked.  I don't get why that is always seen as a bad thing.

    MairePoppyemmaaaohannabelle
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I dont't understand what's wrong with wearing something trendy for your wedding. I'm fortunate to have several very old family wedding portraits - my grandparent'scirca 1920's and my MIL and FIL's circa 1930's. They are decked out in the styles of those eras. My grandparents look like characters from Boardwalk Empire.  I love looking at those pictures. 

    For my wedding my groom and his men wore brown tuxes. The women wore qiana knit dresses. You can tell from my album that the wedding took place in the 1970's. My kids and I like to laugh at the hair styles and clothing in those pictures, but that's okay. One day a great grandchild may treasure that album the way I treasure my grandparent's wedding portrait. And my wedding dress is still hanging in my closet just for that future great great grandchild that might want a retro wedding.

    OP, if you're still around, go for it. If your fi loves that jacket, he should wear it. His gm should be dressed in a similar style -  navy blazers and gray slacks might work, since it seems like he wants to stand out a bit. Your pictures will be dated, but so what. Shouldn't the pictures reflect the date of your wedding?
    I agree with all of this.  I don't care how "by the book" you go, your pictures will look dated 30+ years from now.  

    I giggle at my Dad's big sideburns and brown tinted glasses and his brown tux with ruffled shirt in his wedding pictures.  My Mom's dress was actually pretty tame for a 70's dress and could have easily been reworked a bit a worn in a current wedding, but the hair, the color of the decor of their reception hall, the bridesmaid dresses (some weird yellow and brown floral pattern), all of it screams a 70's wedding.  And you know what?  That is okay because that is when they got married.  It shows how the world was back then.  What was in style and what they liked.  I don't get why that is always seen as a bad thing.
    All of the hats of the 80s. Oh my....

    image
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    And we look at that and laugh now, but I bet that bride LOVED it all.  And you know what?  That is what matters.  No one at that point in time thought "this shit is going to be tacky as hell in 30 years!"
    You mean making a wedding dress out of a mattress will be tacky in 30 years?... You jest. But yeah, I'm sure she was like 'This is the shit! I'm so gorgeous!"

    image
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    Hahaha, my bms wore the same dresses, but in different pastel colors, white shoes of their choice. One bm got a good deal on big floppy hats so she surprised the bms with hats that matched their dresses.  I didn't bitch about it not being my vision. They loved the hats so it was okay with me. I wish I had a way to AW my wedding, here, so you could all have a good laugh. 
     

    Oh Maggie, is that your mom and dad's wedding? That's hillarious. I love it.

                       
    emmaaaohannabelle
  • I dont't understand what's wrong with wearing something trendy for your wedding. I'm fortunate to have several very old family wedding portraits - my grandparent'scirca 1920's and my MIL and FIL's circa 1930's. They are decked out in the styles of those eras. My grandparents look like characters from Boardwalk Empire.  I love looking at those pictures. 

    For my wedding my groom and his men wore brown tuxes. The women wore qiana knit dresses. You can tell from my album that the wedding took place in the 1970's. My kids and I like to laugh at the hair styles and clothing in those pictures, but that's okay. One day a great grandchild may treasure that album the way I treasure my grandparent's wedding portrait. And my wedding dress is still hanging in my closet just for that future great great grandchild that might want a retro wedding.

    OP, if you're still around, go for it. If your fi loves that jacket, he should wear it. His gm should be dressed in a similar style -  navy blazers and gray slacks might work, since it seems like he wants to stand out a bit. Your pictures will be dated, but so what. Shouldn't the pictures reflect the date of your wedding?
    I agree with all of this.  I don't care how "by the book" you go, your pictures will look dated 30+ years from now.  

    I giggle at my Dad's big sideburns and brown tinted glasses and his brown tux with ruffled shirt in his wedding pictures.  My Mom's dress was actually pretty tame for a 70's dress and could have easily been reworked a bit a worn in a current wedding, but the hair, the color of the decor of their reception hall, the bridesmaid dresses (some weird yellow and brown floral pattern), all of it screams a 70's wedding.  And you know what?  That is okay because that is when they got married.  It shows how the world was back then.  What was in style and what they liked.  I don't get why that is always seen as a bad thing.
    All of the hats of the 80s. Oh my....
    My father wore a Brown tweed suit with velvet lapels. Oh the seventies...my mother wore a pink gingham dress and a hat. Yep, you can tell what year (decade) they got married in...
    ohannabelleMairePoppy
  • You ladies should have pearls like mine!  Ha!
    Seriously, I have been trying to be nice.  IMHO that blue jacket is one of the ugliest pieces of menswear I have seen in years.  You don't have to agree.  If I think it is awful, others will, too.  There is a difference between "trendy" and butt ugly.  JMHO.

    http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm


    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    You ladies should have pearls like mine!  Ha!
    Seriously, I have been trying to be nice.  IMHO that blue jacket is one of the ugliest pieces of menswear I have seen in years.  You don't have to agree.  If I think it is awful, others will, too.  There is a difference between "trendy" and butt ugly.  JMHO.

    http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm


    Well, I'll be sure to throw away my husband's blue jacket if you say it's the ugliest thing you've seen in years. I mean, your input is TRULY what my life is hinged upon. Thank you, for enlightening me as a human so I will no longer allow my husband to continue to offend your better sensibilities with a jacket you'll never see on a man you'll never know.

    Whew. I feel better.

    image
    VulgarGirlFiancB
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    CMGragain said:
    You ladies should have pearls like mine!  Ha!
    Seriously, I have been trying to be nice.  IMHO that blue jacket is one of the ugliest pieces of menswear I have seen in years.  You don't have to agree.  If I think it is awful, others will, too.  There is a difference between "trendy" and butt ugly.  JMHO.

    http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm


    And again, it is a damn jacket.  It will have no bearing on any guests comfort level or them being hosted properly.  Unless of course just the look of it makes then physically ill.  And if that happens then the guest should probably see a doctor if just the look of a jacket makes them sick.

    No one ever said you had to like it.  Saying that it is the ugliest thing you have seen in years may be a stretch.  I am sure you could find a lot more hideous things that have happened in menswear in recent years.  But just because it doesn't fit your chosen "rules" you like to follow doesn't make it wrong.

    ETA:  I am sure you probably wear many of things that people probably laugh at or raise their noses at.  Doesn't stop you from wearing them does it?  Nope, because you like your clothes and you feel comfortable in them.  And that is what choosing wedding attire (or really any attire) comes down to...wearing something that you like, makes you feel good and is appropriate for the setting.

    mikenbergerhellohkbVulgarGirlohannabelle
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    All of the hats of the 80s. Oh my....
    image
    I thought she was a table, then I looked again and  - oh it's a she, the table is the bride, well how you like that??
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    MairePoppypinupbride6189
  • All of the hats of the 80s. Oh my....
    image
    I thought she was a table, then I looked again and  - oh it's a she, the table is the bride, well how you like that??
    I had 3 aunts get married from 1981-1988, this could be from one of their weddings.
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:
    You ladies should have pearls like mine!  Ha!
    Seriously, I have been trying to be nice.  IMHO that blue jacket is one of the ugliest pieces of menswear I have seen in years.  You don't have to agree.  If I think it is awful, others will, too.  There is a difference between "trendy" and butt ugly.  JMHO.

    http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm


    Well I think pearls are kind of ugly. And I"m not a fan of big poofy dresses. But I got enough class to not be fucking mean about it. 
    ohannabelleFiancB
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    The tuxedo site is an excellent one, but it is British.  There are a few minor differences is customs, and perhaps this is one of them.  DH wears a charcoal pinstriped suit when he needs to wear one.  DS's first good suit was navy.  There are a lot of black suits sold in the USA, and I don't think they are all for funerals. My only opinion is that cat hair shows up on solid black more than a dark charcoal!
    This proves nothing, of course.  There were a lot of powder blue tuxedos rented in 1976, too.  Ugh!   This is why I urged the OP to choose a nice dark suit instead of that very blue jacket.  (I googled it.  It is from Kenneth Cole and it is expensive.  For shame!)
    What the hell with the for shame? No. Shame people for being unkind, shame people for being self absorbed or mean or shallow or rude, but it's never acceptable to shame people for personal taste in clothing, or how much money they choose to spend. 

    Fashion is not fixed. It is fluid. Unless you're conforming to the rules of a particular venue, the "rules" of fashion cannot be dictated. It is a personal expression. Society has a very few guidelines in place, like, black tie, or don't show up wearing granny panties on your head, but outside of that, nope. 

    Fashion "etiquette" is also fluid. It provides limited guidelines, based on common sense and consideration. Don't wear a wedding gown to a funeral. (Anna Nichole!) Don't wear an obscenely exposing outfit to a place where you know it will upset people. (Being considerate of others) Don't wear a winter coat to a beach barbecue, or a black wool suit on a 90 degree day. (Common damned sense.)

    But at your own event, where you yourself are determining the style and tone and expression of that event, what is acceptable is a purely personal aesthetic choice. You're criticizing and shaming personal taste that is in no way violating either courtesy or common sense.

    There's nothing wrong with tradition. I love a classic black dinner jacket. It's good to know the traditional rules, in the event that you're invited to a very formal event by very conservative people, and if you want to please or be accepted by those people. Knowledge is good.

    And I like that damned blue jacket. I like it's wayward vibe. I like that it breaks rules with a blatant giveadamnism. It's a cool design. It has some humor and nostalgia. It gives a kind of nod to a late 50s rockabilly feeling, or it could have a vintage Vegas rat pack feel, or it could, depending on styling and the setting, be very modern. It's fun. It's a jacket that isn't taking itself too seriously. 

    People who express themselves with fashion are not "wrong." People decorate themselves as a kind of art. (That's what clothes are for. That's why they were invented.)
    Or they don't care, and just wear whatever's convenient and acceptable. 
    Either way is fine.

    (Also, that jacket is not that damned expensive, for heaven's sake. I looked, it's at Macy's, and that's not even close to an outrageous price for a dinner jacket.  That's reasonable.)




    TLDR: People need to stop with the absurd imaginary "rules" on this thread, and that includes both traditional and invented ones.  And, nobody should feel ashamed of personal taste. De gustibus non est disputandum. Personal taste is not arguable. 
    Also, don't wear granny panties on your head. 



    image

    ohannabelle
  • I'm still just trying to figure out what makes this so ugly. The color? The cut? It looks very simple to me, imo. Not much room to hate it.



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    [Deleted User]
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    hellohkb said:
    I'm still just trying to figure out what makes this so ugly. The color? The cut? It looks very simple to me, imo. Not much room to hate it.
    It's the cut and the contrasting lapels.  Yes, and the brilliant blue color.   Very 1970s.

    Ladies, you accused me of sticking to the rules.  You didn't like that.  Then when I explained that it is my personal opinion that it is ugly, you have a fussy it, and tell me that I can't have an opinion, either.  I can't win with you, so I will stop trying.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:


    hellohkb said:

    I'm still just trying to figure out what makes this so ugly. The color? The cut? It looks very simple to me, imo. Not much room to hate it.


    It's the cut and the contrasting lapels.  Yes, and the brilliant blue color.   Very 1970s.

    Ladies, you accused me of sticking to the rules.  You didn't like that.  Then when I explained that it is my personal opinion that it is ugly, you have a fussy it, and tell me that I can't have an opinion, either.  I can't win with you, so I will stop trying.


    Ah, okay. Fair enough. Different strokes, etc. I just wasn't exactly sure what was ugly about it.


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    CMGragain
  • My favorite parts of this thread were @ohannabelle's "Bonjour" (this will seriously never get old for me) and @Maggie0829's mattress dress bride with rainbow BMs.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    ohannabelleemmaaa[Deleted User]
  • edited June 2015
    The comments about how clothing can "date" an event made me smile. We (obviously) told our parents they could wear whatever that want. We were pretty sure my fiance's dad would come in black denim jeans since he refuses to wear anything else- but he mentioned a few weeks ago that he can fit into his powder blue suit from the 70's!

    I kinda hope he actually wears it just so we have a good story to tell. Ha ha!
    CMGragainMairePoppy
  • The comments about how clothing can "date" an event made me smile. We (obviously) told our parents they could wear whatever that want. We were pretty sure my fiance's dad would come in black denim jeans since he refuses to wear anything else- but he mentioned a few weeks ago that he can fit into his powder blue suit from the 70's!

    I kinda hope he actually wears it just so we have a good story to tell. Ha ha!

    My mom's fiance said (sarcastically) he was going to wear a powder blue suit and I wish he really would. My dad's been asking what to wear and I told him the suit from My Cousin Vinny. ;)


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  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:
    You ladies should have pearls like mine!  Ha!
    Seriously, I have been trying to be nice.  IMHO that blue jacket is one of the ugliest pieces of menswear I have seen in years.  You don't have to agree.  If I think it is awful, others will, too.  There is a difference between "trendy" and butt ugly.  JMHO.

    http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm


    SO ABRASIVE.

    I like the jacket. I am not super fashionable so I'm not confident I would've pulled it off, but as Doey's links showed, it's definitely possible. Advice to play it as safe as possible annoys me. 

    My bff's parents were hippies in the 70s and her dress had daisies in the lace and she wore a daisy headband. It makes us giggle and while that may not be trendy now, it still suits them perfectly, because they are still hippies. 

    My sis got married in 99 and has fabulous 90s poofy hair and sleeves. Even for those that were dressed in suits, you can still definitely date it by the bowl cuts and poofy bangs. 
    image
  • All of the hats of the 80s. Oh my....
    image
    I thought she was a table, then I looked again and  - oh it's a she, the table is the bride, well how you like that??
    I had 3 aunts get married from 1981-1988, this could be from one of their weddings.
    It took like 4 other people quoting about the "mattress" dress for me to notice that this picture was not only the BMs.
    MairePoppyemmaaa
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