Quick addressing question re Anglicized names

aquietseason

You guys have been super helpful before with invitation etiquette (I changed my invites based on the advice here and am SO glad I did!), so hopefully you ladies have some insight here.

A large portion of our guests are first generation immigrants who have "Americanized" their first names and I'm not sure how to approach addressing them. I have two different types of guests that I'm confused about :

Example 1 : Total name change -- i.e. Ziyi Zhang on her ID, but goes by Jessica Zhang socially and professionally. My instinct her is to use the Americanized name as that's what she's known by.

Example 2 : More like a nickname -- i.e. Kalawatti Singh going by Karla Singh, or Samir Amin going by Sam Amin. My instinct here is to use the proper/legal name.

It's easy to know that Joe should be Joseph or Jen should be Jennifer if those are their legal names, but I feel like it's a little more fraught in those cases. I may be/probably am over thinking this though.

If it was just one or two people I'd just phone/email and ask what they prefer, but it's literally 2/3rds of my FI's family and a significant portion of our friends as well. Is there a good rule of thumb to go by that I'm just missing? My FI's advice is to "just go by whatever's on facebook" which is adorable but useless

Maggie0829

My feelings on the two examples...

Example 1 - I feel like if someone is choosing to use a name both professionally and socially then that is the name that you should use on their invitation.

Example 2 - Use their full name, not their nickname/shortened name.

And I understand that it is a lot of your guest list, but it really doesn't take that much to ask people what they prefer.  It is good to know for the future as well.

[Deleted User]

I had a few guests with Americanized names.  One guest in particular goes by "Joe".  I addressed the invite "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith"   I used a shortened nickname for another guest because that's what they prefer.   Just because someone has a longer  legal name, like Jennifer or Joseph doesn't mean they like to be called that.  In most cases, it is proper to use the legal name, but in some cases people truly prefer to be called by their nickname/shorter name.   I took into account someone's personal preference over etiquette on that one.   I might be against etiquette, but if someone truly hates the name Jennifer and likes to called Jenn, then I think it's more important to please the person.  

I used legal names for about 95% of guests, but I did have a few that I addressed according to personal preference.