Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

RSVP Question

I am just curious how many people everyone invited to their special day, how many didn't attend and how many decided to RSVP but then not show the day of. 

We are at 75 right now. I am planning for everyone to come, however I have about 10 questionable people who I know will say yes and I am almost certain will not show up the day off. So just to feed my curiosity :-) figured I'd ask here.

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Re: RSVP Question

  • edited March 2013
    By "my special day" I assume you mean wedding. We're at about 298 right now, but invitations haven't gone out.

    There's not a whole lot you can do if those people say yes and don't come, so just try not to worry about it.
  • I know, I have to shrug it off but just wanted to know people's scenarios...
    and yeah, by "special day"  I meant your wedding
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We invited 75, 66 RSVPd yes, and 8 didn't show up.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Being a meeting planner, you can guesstimate 20% of the RSVPs will not show. 

  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_rsvp-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:a4f2b32c-d0c4-490c-8dab-4412fd262d43Post:bbc48a86-a409-4589-ac29-09295a96c572">Re: RSVP Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Being a meeting planner, you can guesstimate 20% of the RSVPs will not show. 
    Posted by baseballdrum[/QUOTE]

    We had planned for 216 guests and had 7 no-shows so "20%" is not necessarily true. There have also been other posters who have repsonded to posts similar to this one who mentioned that they had 100% attendance. I would suggest not "over-inviting" with the assumption that 20% will not show up. Budget for the number of people you plan to invite.
  • We invited around 160 I think. 69 RSVP'd yes and they all showed. We actually added a seat for someone travelling with one of my BM's and her bf. He had joined our bar crawl two nights before and we all met up the night before the wedding. Everyone got along so well, we figured why not.
  • We invited about 170. We had 135 RSVP yes and 135 attend.


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  • We invited 200 (over half of which would have to travel by plane for the wedding). We had 125 RSVP and only 4 no show.

    I also highly recommend you budget for all the guests you invite. When getting estimates for things that were going to cost per person we had two sets of numbers, one for 100% (200) and one for 180 which we thought was a more likely high estimate based on how many people were out of town. As it worked out since we only had 125 we were able to save money we had originally planned on spending and add upgrades like a premium bar. It was way better to end up with money left over by over estimating the number of guests attending than underestimating and be hurting for cash or be over capacity. Never invite more people than your venue can hold!
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  • We invited 110 I think and had 80 guests rsvp yes.  They all showed.  I would have been bull if we had no shows at $120/person.
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2013
  • I forgot to add to my previous post that we were not happy either about the "no shows" but unfortunately it's almost expected based on the weddings I have been to.

  • invited 87 so far 22 have rsvped, still have two nad a half months before the deadline. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_rsvp-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:a4f2b32c-d0c4-490c-8dab-4412fd262d43Post:c2793549-4658-430d-b57f-366340ed5cdc">Re: RSVP Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]We invited 200 (over half of which would have to travel by plane for the wedding). We had 125 RSVP and only 4 no show. I also highly recommend you budget for all the guests you invite. When getting estimates for things that were going to cost per person we had two sets of numbers, one for 100% (200) and one for 180 which we thought was a more likely high estimate based on how many people were out of town. As it worked out since we only had 125 we were able to save money we had originally planned on spending and add upgrades like a premium bar. It was way better to end up with money left over by over estimating the number of guests attending than underestimating and be hurting for cash or be over capacity. Never invite more people than your venue can hold!
    Posted by Tami87[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Tami, We are doing the same thing.  I have an Excel spreadsheet with full attendance and then another column with 15% less.  I have a few people who I know will RSVP no, or just not show up.

    </div>
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  • I know I can't do anything about No Shows but omg I know I'm going to be pissed! 
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  • We invited just over 200.  We had about 170 RSVP yes, but we had about 12 no shows.  However, we had an unusually hight number of no shows (or I should say, people who cancelled within a day of the wedding).  We had four people all from the same family unable to come because of a family emergency.  We also had three people unable to come because of an early birth in the family.  And the rest were just my rude, inconsiderate cousins.  The no shows were frustrating but most people did have a good reason why they had to cancel last minute.
  • 153 - people invited
    6 - people that didn't respond at all
    115 - that rsvp yes
    4- people that rsvp yes but didn't come but we had one that changed mind from no to yes day of wedding so we ended up being -2 then 

    2 of the no shows had health issues/family emergencies (one threw back out that morning & the other her newborn grandson was rushed to ICU so she was helping out with other kids so parents could tend to baby) so couldn't be made about that. 

    So I was happy with turn out. 
  • I randomly just looked back at our rsvp list.. we actually had 17 no shows. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_rsvp-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:a4f2b32c-d0c4-490c-8dab-4412fd262d43Post:1047d114-e765-4d65-a8e9-b1fb5a3d2585">Re: RSVP Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I randomly just looked back at our rsvp list.. we actually had 17 no shows. 
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    Oh my, 17 is a high number of no shows. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_rsvp-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:a4f2b32c-d0c4-490c-8dab-4412fd262d43Post:389b37de-3b58-4b7b-8b76-ceb64297d27a">Re: RSVP Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP Question : Oh my, 17 is a high number of no shows. 
    Posted by fperez7542[/QUOTE]

    I know... I was reallllllly mad.  we allowed +1s for everyone, and there were some people that replied with a +1 and I knew darn well they weren't seeing anyone and they would be coming with a random date.  But, I let it go, because I was the one who made sure we had space for dates.  But, then, some of those people who responded with a random +1 were some of the people who didn't show up.  
  • SCogs18SCogs18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited March 2013
    We invited 225.  149 said they would be there and 146 showed up.  1 couple was really sick and couldn't make it while the 3rd person just "didn't feel like driving that day."  I was pissed about the driving thing.

    We did have several last minute changes (people wanting to now bring dates or could no longer come).  Honestly the last two weeks before the wedding were not so fun in that regard.
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    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
  • We invited around 75. About 60 rsvp'ed yes and had about 10 no show. Honestly, I was so happy the day of that the only reason I didn't notice the people that no showed was because their place cards had yet to be picked up. Always plan for 100% then brace yourself for no shows. 
  • We invited 424 guests (50% would have to travel), and 232 RSVP'd yes.  We had 10 no shows.  But we budgeted for all 424 guests. So 2 weeks before the wedding when we had all of the RSVP's in, we had enough room in the budget to add an open bar.  I was very pleased with that. 
  • Slow down with being upset when people no-show. Yes, it's unfortunate, but it should by no means damper your day. Be appreciative of the people who did come.

    We invited 160, 135 said yes, 15 no-showed (10 were my family members).

    For the record, they were an hour and a half out of town and it was the first snow storm of the year. Hence why I didn't let it get to me (and the card sent via mail made up for it).

    Remember, most people are not vindictive! They have lives too, and you must have room inside your heart to forgive them. Otherwise, how will you forgive your husband for forgetting your anniversary down the line? Let it go and be happy for what you have.
  • We invited 149 total. 109 RSVP'd yes and out of that number 2 people were no-shows. Overall pretty successful seeing other numbers in this thread. It still burns when people say "yes" and then don't show up. 

    It was also work to get everyone to RSVP. I had to track down a large percentage either myself or with my mother & MIL's help.
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  • I was just about to ask whether people had called the non-responders to see whether they were coming. I'm planning on doing that the week after the RSVP deadline. I hope we don't have too many no-shows, because there were a lot of people who didn't wind up getting an invitation that we would have loved to invite if there had been space! 
  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited June 2013

    I invited about 150, 110 RSVP'ed yes (for a Friday wedding), and we had 2 couples no-show. one of the couples actually sent a gift with another guest which was nice, as well. (honestly, it softened the blow of the no-show, actually...at least, I didn't lose out on the money of the plate)

     

     

  • We invited 70, 67 responded that they were coming, 6 didn't show up.  Of the 6 that didn't show up, they contacted us a few days before to let us know.
  • My RSVP deadline is coming up in 3 days and I have about 50 people to track down. Is it okay to email people or should I make a phone call?
  • If they still have 3 days, let the 3 days pass.  After that, yes, it is OK to give a gentle reminder via email or phone call - whichever you feel is most likely to get a response from your guests.
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    58 invited image | 17 love destination weddings image
    20 can't make it image | 21 don't know what to do with a RSVP card image
    RSVP Deadline: March 8th
  • arae81arae81 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    The general rule of thumb is to expect 15% to not show or to decline.

    However, I've noticed as of late that many guests are not returning their RSVPs in a timely manner, if at all, and yet are still showing up. For my own wedding, I was calling people the week of the event trying to wrangle a definitive answer out of them. I didn't want to count someone as not attending, have food prepared and seats arranged, and then... Extra guests. Sending out save the dates three months prior didn't do a lot of good with these "well-intentioned" folks.

    My solution now is to not invite more people than what I can seat comfortably to any event. If someone declines, then perhaps that makes room for someone else, but you cannot assume that those who do not RSVP are not actually attending... Count them in your group just to be "safe".

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