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RSVP rant - the "just letting you know, we're coming" text

Why do people think its ok to send me a text instead of replying like a normal person by using the RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope we included in our invitation?? I don't get it. We put all this effort in, even got German stamps for the return envelopes that were included with the invitations to our guests in Germany... I had to have my mom bring them with her when she was visiting... and now this one friend texts me to let me know "I'm not going to bother sending the RSVP back but just letting you know, we're looking forward to the wedding!". GREAT. Thanks. UGH.  
Ok, rant over. 
- The stars, like dust, encircle me in living mists of light. And all of space I seem to see in one vast burst of sight. 

Re: RSVP rant - the "just letting you know, we're coming" text

  • mj8215 said:
    Why do people think its ok to send me a text instead of replying like a normal person by using the RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope we included in our invitation?? I don't get it. We put all this effort in, even got German stamps for the return envelopes that were included with the invitations to our guests in Germany... I had to have my mom bring them with her when she was visiting... and now this one friend texts me to let me know "I'm not going to bother sending the RSVP back but just letting you know, we're looking forward to the wedding!". GREAT. Thanks. UGH.  
    Ok, rant over. 
    Not even going to lie here, I've totally be the person that sends the text (although mine was that I couldn't come). That being said, I had talked to the couple beforehand to let them know my situation, I was starting a new job and wouldn't know my schedule until it was too late to reply via snail mail. 
    Silver lining- at least they RSVP'ed and didn't just pop in?
    image
  • Be annoyed for a minute but this isn't that big of a deal. And sometimes international mail takes so long you may have been following with them via phone/email/text anyway.
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    MairePoppy
  • loro929loro929 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2015
    Why do people think its ok to send me a text instead of replying like a normal person by using the RSVP card and pre-stamped envelope we included in our invitation?? I don't get it. We put all this effort in, even got German stamps for the return envelopes that were included with the invitations to our guests in Germany... I had to have my mom bring them with her when she was visiting... and now this one friend texts me to let me know "I'm not going to bother sending the RSVP back but just letting you know, we're looking forward to the wedding!". GREAT. Thanks. UGH.  
    Ok, rant over. 
    Well, firstly, Rsvp cards are very North American- one rarely sees them anywhere else. Truth be told, they did RSVP-just in a different manner, why does it bother you so much? They let you know in writing whether or not they can attend. It's not like an offand comment when you're busy. A call, email, text to say you are coming should be fine. Yes, it would be nice to use the cards, but if THIS (people rsvp-ing in a different way) gets you worked up, you wedding planning is going to be so anxiety inducing! Let it go!
    Yeah, I agree with this. It's really NBD, the important thing is that they responded. We just received an invitation to a wedding in Italy (not a DW, a local wedding for Italian friends of ours), and the RSVP information is a phone number included directly on the invitation. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    I get being irritated because you went to the trouble of getting the right stamps for international mail.  But, be irritated for about 5 minutes and then be happy that they RSVP'd.

    I don't think the person shouldn't have said "I am not going to bother sending this back."  I mean how difficult is it to throw the damn thing in a mail box?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Guests are required to RSVP, how they do that is up to them.   Think about this.  You send an invite to a birthday party for your FI.  Do you send out a RSVP card for them to return?    I'm going to guess no.  That is because it's up to the recipient to RSVP. 

     The RSVP card for weddings is an American thing has a courtesy.    That's it.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • vikinganna87vikinganna87 Live Free or Die member
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    I found RSVP cards with stamped envelopes a waste of paper and money, so we requested people to respond online.  Some called, some emailed, some texted instead.  I was just grateful to the guests who let me know so I didn't need to track down a response.
  • mj8215mj8215 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I guess I was trying a bit too hard to "be American" about this haha (since I'm from Germany)... I'll try to chill out going forward. Thanks!
    - The stars, like dust, encircle me in living mists of light. And all of space I seem to see in one vast burst of sight. 
  • It happens. I had a lot of people RSVP via my mom. So something like this would happen: my mom texted and said, "I ran into so-and-so and they said they're coming to the wedding." 
    Me, "How many? Are they bringing their kids?" 
    My mom, "Oh, I don't know, they didn't say." Ugh! 

    And then there were a few people I had to track down, and when they finally got back to me (at the last minute) they said "maybe." What?! That is not an RSVP! (I think I got about 4 maybe's) 

    2 people never bothered to RSVP at all but showed up anyway (luckily I counted them in)

    8 or 9 people RSVPd yes but then changed to a no AFTER I gave the caterer the final count. 

    1 person RSVPd yes and then no-showed without a word. Apparently her sister-- who was H's GM-- knew she wasn't coming but also didn't bother to mention it to us. 

    So yeah, annoying crap is going to happen with the RSVPs. Like, crap you've never even heard of. Don't let it stress you out, it's not worth it! Drink wine instead :) Or if you're like me, vodka. Lots of vodka. 
    image
    mj8215
  • Guilty. This would be me as well; RSVPing by text. And yes, as easy it is to just drop something in the mail, I'm that person who finds unmailed Christmas cards in her purse or car in January.
  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2015
    scribe95 said:
    Given how hard it is to get people to respond at all I'd be thrilled.

    ---BOXBOXBOX---

    THIS. We had to follow up multiple times with about a dozen guests just to get ANY response... I think there are still a couple of guests we have not heard back from after a text and a phone call, so we're assuming they are not coming unless we hear otherwise in the next day. We're fairly certain that this circle of people think you only have to RSVP if you are coming. Yes, it's a little annoying that they can't be bothered to check a box and put a pre-stamped envelope in the mail, but at the end of the day it's not something to waste my energy being annoyed over.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I get being irritated because you went to the trouble of getting the right stamps for international mail.  But, be irritated for about 5 minutes and then be happy that they RSVP'd.


    I don't think the person shouldn't have said "I am not going to bother sending this back."  I mean how difficult is it to throw the damn thing in a mail box?
    You would think that people would get that. We ran into this problem with DD's wedding. She provided a self-addressed, stamped RSVP postcard that they literally only had to circle whether they were coming and how many. We received so few back and had to start calling.
  • It sure sounds like the RSVP card and stamped envelope are just about ancient history! Good to know!
  • I've had a few people mention to me they're coming before we go the RSVP in. We also had an issue with USPS, so those who we still didn't know about we had to find out verbally in case invite didn't make it or RSVP didn't make it back.

    Stupid mail.
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