Hello everyone -
Long time lurker, first time poster here. I'm getting married in 6 weeks (yay!) and our RSVPs were due back last week. Of course, there were a handful that were late (expected!), but when we followed them up I was a little bit disappointed.
The first issue is my FH's cousin, who doesn't have a steady girlfriend, so would like to bring his ex (exact words: "don't know who I'll bring yet. Probably Danielle.") Am I being ridiculous in feeling a bit put-out by that? I suppose we shouldn't have given him a plus-one knowing he was single but I think I was thinking he might have got a girlfriend in the meantime. We're paying a lot per head on food and booze for the table, and I find it a bit galling that he seems to be bringing someone for the sake of it. Given that he's my FH's cousin, he will know ~70% of the guests, so he wouldn't be lonely.... Anyway. On top of that, we need to confirm numbers with the caterers and the bus company, so I'm not liking the "probably" (FH messaged him to say that he seating plans are now printed so if he finds a new girlfriend in the meantime, she'd better be called Danielle too!!)... I feel like I'm being a b*tch - confirmation?!
Second issue: a pal of my FH who literally has just started dating a girl and doesn't know "if it'll last for the next 6 weeks. Would it be an issue if I RSVP as two of us, then she doesn't come?" Well first, yes. We're having table plans and while I'm aware that there might be emergencies that mean late cancellations, I'd rather not have someone on the guest list who is already a bit wobbly! I hate the idea of loads of empty seats (yet we have to have a seating plan for complex family reasons!)... Anyway, my FH tactfully explained that yes, that would be a problem - he would prefer if he didn't bring her at all if he was already unsure at this stage whether she was actually going to come. We gave him a couple of days to think about it; then he came back saying yes, he'd take her, oh, and p.s. she's strict coeliac. so firstly I'm cross he didn't RSVP in time, then I'm cross he wants to bring a girl that he's not even sure he'll be with in 6 weeks, then I'm cross that he RSVPd late for a person who has strict dietary requirements!!
TL;DR - I wish I hadn't given our single guests plus-ones. But I did - so am I now being unreasonable in feeling disappointed in their choices? I feel like the answer is yes :-(