Don't think because all of your friends love you - they won't talk about your tackiness.

mikenberger

I was in a wedding this past weekend.

- Cash bar for liquor. And not enough beer. It ran out at 10:15 and the reception wasn't over until 11:00.

- Dollar dance.

- Shoe game (Okay. not really a faux pas, just annoying to watch. Let's get on with it.)

All of these activities were topics of fodder for the guests. The point being: Just because people love you and participate in your wedding and wedding reception, that doesn't mean they won't find the shit you do to be absolutely tacky as Hell. 

banana468

Was this one of the Brides of Insanity that you've spoken of?

ETA - You're right.   11 years ago when DH and I were dating and not engaged or married he was in a wedding that did cash bar for all drinks except a wine pour for the meal.  Oh - but the WP drinks were free.   You can bet that our table of friends of the WP talked about it.   And I was seated there because I didn't get to be with DH.

And I love the couple dearly but they missed the mark there bigtime.  

mikenberger

banana468 said:

Was this one of the Brides of Insanity that you've spoken of?

ETA - You're right.   11 years ago when DH and I were dating and not engaged or married he was in a wedding that did cash bar for all drinks except a wine pour for the meal.  Oh - but the WP drinks were free.   You can bet that our table of friends of the WP talked about it.   And I was seated there because I didn't get to be with DH.

And I love the couple dearly but they missed the mark there bigtime.  

Yes. And now it's over. Woo!

badbnagdway

Yuck. I don't get the games thing at weddings. At a shower? Ok. At a wedding? Umm, no. 

I know on this board it is just preaching (or maybe singing with) the choir, but yes, your friends will judge you and be annoyed with you if you are rude to them, even if they love you. A wedding I went to this spring is still a constant source of conversation for attendees because they kept everyone hungry for  two hours and then just served finger food at dinner time. As far as I know no one has ever said anything to the B&G or their families, but it was, for most, a hall of fame level fail. 

novella1186

Yeah one of my close friends-- who was a BM in my wedding-- came to visit this past weekend and we went out to lunch. I asked her how her sister's wedding went (which happened the weekend before, and she was also a BM in that). 

She said, "It sucked. We left at like 9. I had way more fun at your wedding." I didn't want to pry too much into why it sucked so bad, but she said it was just overall a poorly planned event, and the reception cleared out before they even cut the cake. By the time dancing started, there were just a hand full of people left and no one really danced. Yikes. She had nothing good to say about her own sister's wedding (and this girl is not the type to be negative at all. She always has fun!) 

MizLiz3

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

novella1186

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

Wow. This is disgusting. 

lyndausvi

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

What is wrong with people?

Maggie0829

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

That's a new one.  Wow.

thespeshulestsnowflake

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

lovegood90

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

Oh HELL no. I would have walked out with my gift and my friendship with them would have been basically over. Why would you guys put up with that crap??

huskypuppy14

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

Please eloborate more. So you had to pay some money to even eat? Auctioning off who is going first is ridiculous as it is, but they basically wouldn't let you eat until you gave them money. Are you fucking kidding me.

I agree with lovegood90, why didn't you leave?

simcal18

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

This is disgusting.  What in the world would make someone think this is okay?

And yes, your friends and family will judge you even if you don't hear about it.  My mother is an incredibly gracious host, but not necessarily someone you would peg as a prim-and-proper Ms. Manners devotee.  I still hear her complain about the fact that my sister served upgraded wine to the wedding party and immediate family at her wedding years after the fact, but my sister has never heard a word of it.

Why do people even do these things?  I understand that budgets can be tricky, but probably 99% of brides have to work within SOME sort of budget.  Even brides with comfortable budgets often have to compromise on things they would like to do in the name of making their guests comfortable.  I also get that people may have some sort of "vision" of what they would want their wedding to look like.  But at the end of the day, I want my guests to walk away from my wedding saying, "that was an AWESOME party."  And when all is said and done, if you don't host your guests well, they're not going to give two hoots about your "vision."

[Deleted User]

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

I think my brain just broke.

FiancB

Holy crap. Some of these people have to be at least a little bit of a sociopath to pull some of that crap. Surely they get some sort of jollies out of tricking people into giving them money? 

MizLiz3

lovegood90 said:

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

Oh HELL no. I would have walked out with my gift and my friendship with them would have been basically over. Why would you guys put up with that crap??

Knowing what I know now I would've grabbed my gift and left, but being the first "adult" wedding I'd gone to on my own (without family) I had no idea how to handle it, other than be the last to eat.  I wasn't really friends with the girl, so no concerns of saving a friendship.  I think I was only invited because I was friends with her roommates and they couldn't make it?  Seriously, all very side-eye worthy and I definitely should've declined the invite, but I like weddings- I just didn't realize what a cluster this one would be.

lovegood90

MizLiz3 said:

lovegood90 said:

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

Oh HELL no. I would have walked out with my gift and my friendship with them would have been basically over. Why would you guys put up with that crap??

Knowing what I know now I would've grabbed my gift and left, but being the first "adult" wedding I'd gone to on my own (without family) I had no idea how to handle it, other than be the last to eat.  I wasn't really friends with the girl, so no concerns of saving a friendship.  I think I was only invited because I was friends with her roommates and they couldn't make it?  Seriously, all very side-eye worthy and I definitely should've declined the invite, but I like weddings- I just didn't realize what a cluster this one would be.

Yeah understandable! There are quite a few weddings I went to when I was younger that I definitely wouldn't bother going to now/would leave early with the info I know now (ie, that they're the ones being rude and I don't actually have to sit through it/shouldn't feel obligated to go).

Liatris2010

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

It's too bad everyone didn't just retreive their cards from the card box and buy dinner with whatever money was in there. Or take their card and go home.

loveislouder

MizLiz3 said:

I know how much I've talked about other weddings that I've been to.  I went to one where they auctioned off dinner!  The table with the most money got to go through the buffet first and I was a poor college grad, at a table with other poor college grads/students.  The MC basically made fun of us until some guy took pity and gave us $20.  We were saving our cash for the cash bar!

I really don't want people to talk poorly about my wedding!  I'm hoping that by reading here and taking advice on what's important (food, no cash bar, chair for every butt, etc), I can avoid as much tackiness and judgment as possible.

Preemptive box-----------------------

Yeah... I don't know what I would have done except like... angrily tap my foot til I got to go up lol

themuffinman16

I was asked to be the married couple's babysitter (my brother and FSIL) at their adult reception (as noted on the invitation) in two weeks.  Their child is 1 1/2  they want her to be their adorable flower girl. I never see my niece and she cries every time I hold her.  It will not be a good idea for my brother and SIL to be within their daughter's sight and their daughter won't be allowed to be with them.  But they don't think their parents will do a good job watching her and don't think it would be a good idea to have their daughter at their sweetheart table throughout their reception. Still fucking pissed. I don't even know how to answer this rude as all fuck question. Ugh... just  ugh!!!