Pre-wedding Parties

Engagement Party Registry?

Hi, just hoping for a little advice here.  Our engagement party is rapidly approaching on June 27th.  We decided not to register for gifts for the engagement party, as we thought that's what was customary.  However several people have asked my family (who is throwing the party) where we are registered.  FI's family is not happy at all that we do not have a registry as they do not want to give cash, but the whole reason we did not register is because we do not expect any sort of gift for the engagement party, just a nice gathering to celebrate.   Should register at this point?  Is it too late to register as it is a little over 2 weeks till the party?  Any advice would be great!

Re: Engagement Party Registry?

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Engagement parties are traditionally not gift giving occasions. Of course someone is always going to bring something. But if you're more than a 6-9 months out from your wedding, registering now is going to be a headache with discontinued items, out of stock items etc in the future. 

    Tell the hosts of the party that you are not registered and that you just want everybody to come together and celebrate. Also, tell that to the people badgering you about a registry. Who is hosting your engagement party?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No, you do not have to register to make his family happy if you didn't want to register at all.

    Just tell everyone involved with the engagement party, "We're not expecting any gifts at the engagement party, so we're not registering for it."

    As for down the road, if you really don't want to register, just stand firm: "FI and I are looking forward to seeing you at the wedding, but we have made a final decision not to register for gifts."
  • I had the same scenario and ended up registering because a lot of people asked, and I am now dealing with things: discontinued etc. Plus in the end, only two people actually got anything from the registry. I would wait if I had to do it over again. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Just make up a canned response and repeat it. "We really do not expect gifts at this party. Please just come and celebrate with us. (Insert subject change)"

    Too bad so sad that FILs are upset you don't have a registry. Engagement parties are not gift giving events. If they insist on getting you a present, just tell them you're sure anything they pick out will be very nice. You don't need to register.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would side eye the hell out of an engagement party registry.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    If his parents want to give you a gift that's not money, they can just ask you what you want!  

    FWIW, I never attend a "formal" party of any kind without bringing a gift - an engagement party is no exception.  I would bring something "nice" - a pretty platter or piece of serveware.  If I knew a pattern the couple was using because they were registered, I'd pick the same pattern.  Otherwise, I'd just pick something classic.  
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