New York-New York City

Unwanted guest

Hi guys so I need some solid advice. My fiances bff has hated me since the day she met me. My fiance and I have been together 10 years now and have been through our ups and downs, so every fight of course he would confide in her and wasn't very forthcoming of the entire truth to our arguments in efforts to make himself seem like the good time. I've tried many times to build some kind of relationship with this girl but she's just not receptive. In my opinion she's not even a good friend, she moved back into town a few years ago and didn't even tell him, whenever we invite her to events she never shows up. She doesn't even hangout with him anymore yet he still considers her his bff.

The point as to why I'm writing this post, is he wants to invite her to our wedding and I really don't want her there. I feel she's not been there for him at times that he needed her friendship, along with the fact that she to this day hates me why should she be allowed to come to our joyous celebration and not be happy for us. How do I go about telling my fiance without coming off as mean or inconsiderate?
[Deleted User]

Re: Unwanted guest

  • I'm going to answer this as if I'm in your situation... I would sit him down and have a serious discussion telling him it is our wedding day and that I would like guests that have been there/or have been/are happy for us and that I do not want that specific guest. Just be honest, tell your feelings without any anger or hesitations and be real, you know :) she is just a friend and honestly YOU should be the best friend, not this other girl. This is just my opinion, and the way I would go about it. If he says he wants to invite her tell him you are very disappointed in the decision but that "fine, she'll be invited" because at the end of the day you don't want to end up arguing with your soon to be husband over another person that (just like you said) doesn't like you or isn't happy for you guys. This person does not matter but ..... honestly, he should not invite her, idk why he would want to - probably just out of respect I guess.

    I really hope he understands your view and feelings about this situation. 
  • Thanks @maichkaa I tired and it didn't work. Lol, his response was "we're going to invite her, she might not show up anyway" lol so I'm just hoping she doesn't show up
  • Aww :( I hope she doesnt show up either xoxo 

  • It's your wedding! She doesn't sound like she's been the greatest friend to him and I know I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding that makes me uncomfortable.

    It's YOUR day.

  • It's your wedding! She doesn't sound like she's been the greatest friend to him and I know I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding that makes me uncomfortable.

    It's YOUR day.

    No, it's THEIR day.  Both his and hers.  

  • I think that you are placing too much emphasis on this person.

    It's your wedding, your day.  Remember, this is a celebration of love between you and your life-long partner, your family and friends.

    If she goes, so what?  What's she gonna do?  She will have to act accordingly because she would not want to make a fool of herself.  You will be surrounded by love and support.  She cannot show any disdain because one of your bridesmaids will smack the snot out of her!

    As far as him thinking she is her BFF?  I feel that's the past.  Believe it or not, she may not want to attend your wedding and has moved on from the friendship of your fiancé because she knows that he is starting a new life with you that she could no longer be a part of.  And, that, my friend would be the best news of all.  Moral of the story?  Just LET IT GO!

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