Moms and Maids

Bridal Party Lineup

What is etiquette here? By height on both sides?

One of my bridesmaids is dating a groomsmen. She was really upset when I said they might not be paired together (she is much taller than him). Thoughts?
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Re: Bridal Party Lineup

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    What is etiquette here? By height on both sides?

    One of my bridesmaids is dating a groomsmen. She was really upset when I said they might not be paired together (she is much taller than him). Thoughts?

    If any two or more of your attendants are in a relationship together, I'd let them walk together.  Otherwise, it's up to you.

    That said, doing it by height is something that seems shallow, so I wouldn't use height as the criteria for pairing off your attendants.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • I was just married 10 days ago.  None of our BM/GM were in relationships but if they were, I likely would have paired them.  TBH, I just let our DOC do the pairing.  I threw a gigantic party, largely planned by myself, and details like that were not a priority to me, nor am I aware that the way the WP was paired made any impact whatsoever on an otherwise very meaningful & special day.  Of course, it's impossible for me to know what every single of our 150 guests were thinking but the positive comments about the beauty of the ceremony were overwhelming.   

    I have been called "laid back" by quite a few people during this process but honestly, I wouldn't sweat that detail at all.  IMO it makes very little difference to the day.

    I think pairing by height is kind of silly.  

    Hope the planning is going well.    
  • There are no etiquette guidelines. You just line gem up however you want. I lined mine up according to how close I consider them.

    But I have to say....if we'd had a BM and GM who were dating, we obviously would put their relationship ahead if their height! I mean, really?! I can see why she was a little upset.
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    PrettyGirlLostlc07
  • We had two married couples in our wedding party. They walked together. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were otherwise in the order in which we met. Organizing by height is fine, but if you're having them walk together it is just ridiculous to separate the couple.
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  • Height or amount of time you've known them or alphabetical order or shade of purple of their dresses or length of hair or alphabetical order of their stripper name.  In other words, anything goes.
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
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    Why wouldn't you let the bridal party members who are dating each other walk together? I'm sorry but I think that's incredibly strange, petty and just plain stupid TBH to not "let" them walk together.

    Especially using height as an excuse...Wtf? If someone gave me that excuse I'd probably laugh in their face and walk down with my SO anyway.

    Formerly martha1818

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    PrettyGirlLostlc07
  • edited June 2015
    I've actually been questioning this for my BMs, too. I have seven BMs (I know, I know... But they're all important to me), three of them are married to groomsmen and another one is dating a groomsman. I'm definitely letting the couples walk together if they want, but I'm torn on the ordering of them. We can't do height because of the difference that exists between the MOH and Best Man, the order in which I met my girls isn't the same in which FI met his guys, which then throws off the couples. I think we've decided to let the BMs and GMs just line up in whatever order they want to, and if they can't do that then we'll just draw numbers for the girls and put them and their partner in that order.

    I'd love to hear other advice as well, though!

    ETF: Apparently I can't type complete sentences.
  • FWIW, one of my bridesmaids was dating DH's best man at the time, and we paired them off.  They were happy, we were happy, it all worked out.
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2015
    How you line them up or pair them up has no bearing on your wedding. Stop putting aesthetics in your pictures over the feelings of your FRIENDS. Nobody is going to a single fuck if the heights of your bridal party don't match. And during photos, the photographer will put everybody in a place so it looks great. 

    This is nothing you need to hurt feelings over. 

    ETA: Our best man was 5'9, then my brother was next 6'4, GM #3 is 6'2, GM #4 is 6'1. 

    Our marriage is still valid. Crazy, I know.

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  • ajRN519 said:
    I've actually been questioning this for my BMs, too. I have seven BMs (I know, I know... But they're all important to me), three of them are married to groomsmen and another one is dating a groomsman. I'm definitely letting the couples walk together if they want, but I'm torn on the ordering of them. We can't do height because of the difference that exists between the MOH and Best Man, the order in which I met my girls isn't the same in which FI met his guys, which then throws off the couples. I think we've decided to let the BMs and GMs just line up in whatever order they want to, and if they can't do that then we'll just draw numbers for the girls and put them and their partner in that order. I'd love to hear other advice as well, though! ETF: Apparently I can't type complete sentences.
    Line up either the bridesmaids or the groomsmen, match up the dating/married couples, assign the rest of the people so they look good (i.e. maybe don't pair up the 4'11" bridesmaid with the 6'7" groomsman.)
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
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    It seems like a no-brainer that dating/engaged/married couples would walk together. I think you should consider your friends' feelings over "pretty pictures".


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    lc07
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
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    Can I just point out that the order in which people walk doesn't have to have any bearing on the order in which they stand?

    We got married in a church with two aisles.  The groomsmen came in with J, from the side of the stage area.  The bridesmaids and I walked down one aisle, which was the side of the stage that the girls stood on, and we all recessed up the second aisle, which was the side of the stage the guys stood on.

    Theoretically, if any of my bridesmaids were in a relationship with any of the groomsmen, as they walked across the stage at the end to go up the aisle, any one of the groomsmen could have paired up with them.  It didn't have to be in accordance to where they were standing.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • I have 3 BM's, my FI has 2 GM and his bestman, who is also his Father. 2 of our BM/GM are married, so they'll be paired together, and my other BM and FI's Father will be paired. I'm thinking they will probably be first in line, followed by the other 2 couples, who I was thinking of lining up in alphabetical order. 
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think the dating couple should be paired up. The only exception is if one was the maid of honor or best man and the other was a bridesmaid or groomsman. Beyond that, any way you want is fine. Beyond that, I've found that if often depends on "closeness" for lack of a better term.

  • For my FSIL's wedding one of the bridesmaids was married to the best man and another bridesmaid was married to a groomsman but the MOH and the other groomsmen weren't together. The girls walked down the aisle alone for the processional so their order wasn't matched to their husbands while standing but for the recessional they just paired up with their husbands and the MOH and other groomsman paired up. It looked totally fine so I wouldn't worry about standing order just let them group up with their SO as they recess.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
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    I would definitely pair a dating couple up.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    We paired up the one dating couple. Our photographer actually ended up putting them with the other MOH/BM accidentally during photos and I could tell they weren't happy, so I asked her to have them together. Easy.

    If I was in a bridal party with H, I would expect to be placed/walk with him. This fall I'm in a party and he isn't, so I'll stand where I'm asked. I don't know howthe bride will arrange us yet, I'm assuming I'm next to her since I'm MOH.
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  • Put the dating couples together.  I did. 
    lc07
  • I think it's a good idea to keep them together, too. A lot of people just recommended that I go by height for photographs. I wasn't sure what's normally done-- hence this post!
  • edited June 2015
    I also feel like ordering it based on closeness is weird. It feels like I am ranking people, which I don't like at all.
  • bb2016bb2016 member
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    We have two couples in our bridal party. The best man and one of my bridesmaids are married and then another GM and BM are married. I want to put the couples together, but still have my MOH next to me and my FI was the BM next to him. I think the GMs will come out before the BMs before the ceremony, but they will exit together. Do you think having them pair up to leave in a different order than what they are standing in would be an issue? The wife of the best man will stand next to my MOH. I also thought about letting my MOH walk back by herself because I have one more BM? Or would that be awkward? 


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  • bb2016 said:
    We have two couples in our bridal party. The best man and one of my bridesmaids are married and then another GM and BM are married. I want to put the couples together, but still have my MOH next to me and my FI was the BM next to him. I think the GMs will come out before the BMs before the ceremony, but they will exit together. Do you think having them pair up to leave in a different order than what they are standing in would be an issue? The wife of the best man will stand next to my MOH. I also thought about letting my MOH walk back by herself because I have one more BM? Or would that be awkward? 

    They can still process as a married couple. When they split and go to their respective sides, the MOH will just stand where the MOH stands and her husband will stand with enough space between him and the groom for whoever needs to stand there. 

    Or if you'd rather have the GMs already up there (I've seen this a lot) and you want them to recess together, just do the above in the opposite way. No big deal.

    I wouldn't make it more complicated than it needs to be or over-think it. 
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    bb2016PrettyGirlLost
  • I've been to a ton of weddings and just assumed everyone was standing in regards to closeness or "couples" if that was the case, never by height. Plus what photographer makes everyone stand in height order in a straight line nowadays? How silly!! 
  • I also feel like ordering it based on closeness is weird. It feels like I am ranking people, which I don't like at all.
    This is how I feel! I am definitely overthinking it, I realize that, but I don't want my BMs to read into the order I have them standing in. Since they are wearing mismatched dresses I was going to order them by how the dresses look next to each other, so no one thinks I like anyone else the most. 

    I know how ridiculous I am being btw. 


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2015
    The amount of time that people put towards deciding how to line up their wedding party amazes me. This is not rocket science.
    It's a wedding processional, not a kick line in a Rockettes show.  Ordering ppl by height is ridiculous. never by height. Plus what photographer makes everyone stand in height order in a straight line nowadays? How silly!! 

    I've been to a ton of weddings and just assumed everyone was standing in regards to closeness or "couples" if that was the case, never by height. Plus what photographer makes everyone stand in height order in a straight line nowadays? How silly!! 
    I've been to a ton of weddings as well, and I have never given a single thought as to why the WP was lined up or paired up the way they were.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I'm late to the party on this one, but I figured I'd throw in what we're doing in case someone comes looking for other thoughts.

    Our order was, more or less, determined by the groomsmen. We've got three groomsmen (including best man) and four BMs (including MOH). 

    So our MOH and the best man come together, then the best friend since 3rd grade of the groom (groomsman 2) and the BM who has been the most involved with myself and FI. The final groomsman (actually the FI to the MOH) comes with the remaining two BMs. No one is paired visually, it just made the most sense to have the most involved the closest to us!
  • I'd go ahead and let the dating couple walk together. Height doesn't really matter.

    That said, I really don't understand why couples on either side of this argument make such a big deal about it. As a bride, I couldn't give a flying fig which BM is paired with which GM. I just don't care. I'll let the couples walk together if it makes them happy because it just doesn't matter. Also, as a BM in several weddings, a couple of which was with my Fi as a GM, I don't understand why it's such a big freaking deal to the couple. In one wedding, Fi and I walked together and in another wedding, we didn't. Either way, big deal. It's a walk down the aisle in someone else's wedding. Who cares if we're split up for 10 seconds? It literally didn't bother me enough to ever bring it up to the bride. I just didn't care.

    OP, in this case, I'd just let them walk together so you can be done with this issue and focus on other things.
    [Deleted User]ILoveBeachMusic
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