Legal Marriage in Bali

josgirl

Hi !

Question, I finally found my dream wedding destination in Ubud, Bali. The only thing is they seem to have complicated and highly religious marriage laws (you must declare the same religion, religion must be recognized in Indonesia, my fiance's religion is not recognized)

The resort coordinator said many Australian couples have a symbolic ceremony in Bali and file the legal paperwork when they get back home... Does this sound insane? Does anyone else have to do this or know anyone who has?

We may or may not have guest (at most our 2 best friends and our parents, more likely they wont come) They would understand completely, but at one point I read on here that it is unfair to say you wed on XXX day when you are legally married on a different day,.

SOS

pinupbride6189

josgirl said:

Hi !

Question, I finally found my dream wedding destination in Ubud, Bali. The only thing is they seem to have complicated and highly religious marriage laws (you must declare the same religion, religion must be recognized in Indonesia, my fiance's religion is not recognized)

The resort coordinator said many Australian couples have a symbolic ceremony in Bali and file the legal paperwork when they get back home... Does this sound insane? Does anyone else have to do this or know anyone who has?

We may or may not have guest (at most our 2 best friends and our parents, more likely they wont come) They would understand completely, but at one point I read on here that it is unfair to say you wed on XXX day when you are legally married on a different day,.

SOS

If you were to have a "symbolic ceremony" in Bali, and "file the paperwork" afterward, what you refer to as filing the paper work, would ACTUALLY be your wedding. A wedding happens when two people get married. Marriage is a binary state. You either are or aren't. And trivializing the legal aspect of it is insulting to people that aren't afforded that right. It sucks that you're being denied the right to marry where you wish due to someone else's religious beliefs, but ya know, there are people dealing with that exact situation every day, only they're being denied that right in their own back yard, not in some exotic location far from home.

Why don't you have your wedding somewhere you can have a meaningful ceremony and then go to Bali on your honeymoon?

Jells2dot0

this is the exact reason that we chose to marry in Australia versus the Maldives. However, I could have still done the Maldives thing because I didn't have any guests. It would have only inconvenienced me and my H. It was just super important to me that our ceremony be our legally binding ceremony.

 

If you are dead set on Bali, and your VIP guests are willing to spend the money to travel there (to me, that is A LOT to ask of people), then ABSOLUTELY, 1000% tell them your intentions up front. Just come out and say, "Hey, we decided that we really like Bali, but we'd have to legally marry in the US after our ceremony. We realize it's not our official wedding that you'll be witnessing, but we'd still like for you to join us." Gauge their reactions. At that point, you'll be honest with everyone attending, you'll be legally married AFTER Bali, so it's not a true re-enactment, and the people who know can make a well informed decision if they really want to attend. Be prepared that some people may not want to spend $5K+ to fly to Bali and not see the actual wedding.

 

 

CMGragain

You cannot have a wedding in Bali.  You can have a vow renewal, but not a wedding.  Find another location.  I have been to Ubud, and I didn't see anything that romantic.  It is very hot, crowded and tourist /y, and the flight to get there is pure hell, as well as being very expensive.
How about holding your wedding in the USA, and then having a privatte vow renewal in Bali on your honeymoon?  Your guests will thank you.

LondonLisa

It is very rude to ask people to spend so money to go to Bali to see you get married, when you are actually not getting married there. If I found out that it wasn't actually your wedding after spending all that time and money to go, I would end my friendship with you. 

Being an adult means that things may not be exactly what you want. So I say have a beach wedding somewhere you legally can get married, and honeymoon in Bali. There are plenty of places you can have a beach wedding. 

southernbelle0915

I would be all sorts of pissed if H and I paid thousands of dollars to attend a "wedding" in Bali and found out the couple was already married. WTF?!?!

I really don't think you should ask guests to attend this under the guise that it's a "symbolic wedding". People will feel obligated to go and it's a huge chunk of change to ask them to spend. 

If you decide to do this, I would invite people to your actual wedding (at the court house) and then take them out to dinner. Then you can invite them to whatever you're doing in Bali. That way, they've already witnessed your actual wedding and if they want to go to Bali to watch the re-do, they are certainly welcome but there's no pressure.

Maggie0829

Why not get married at home at the courthouse with your handful of friends (take them out for a nice dinner afterwards) and honeymoon in Bali?  That way you aren't asking people to spend thousands of dollars to watch you pretend to be a bride.