Backing out of family member as photographer

jenspies

My fiancé and I had my second cousin take our engagement photos and we asked her if she might be interested in shooting our wedding. We live in California but the wedding will be in Missouri. We gave her months to think about it and I followed up with her a few weeks ago. I hadn't asked her price of shooting the wedding (mistake #1) until then but the price she quoted was over our budget, on top of us feeling the obligation to fly her to Missouri and pay for her lodging if she were to be our photographer. Now, we haven't signed any contracts or made definite plans but how can I politely back out of using her as the photographer? I have found many photographers in Missouri who are in our budget and we wouldn't have to pay for their flight or lodging. I just don't want to cause any hurt feelings or drama for all of this, and would still invite her to the wedding as a guest. TIA!

justsie

jenspies said:

My fiancé and I had my second cousin take our engagement photos and we asked her if she might be interested in shooting our wedding. We live in California but the wedding will be in Missouri. We gave her months to think about it and I followed up with her a few weeks ago. I hadn't asked her price of shooting the wedding (mistake #1) until then but the price she quoted was over our budget, on top of us feeling the obligation to fly her to Missouri and pay for her lodging if she were to be our photographer. Now, we haven't signed any contracts or made definite plans but how can I politely back out of using her as the photographer? I have found many photographers in Missouri who are in our budget and we wouldn't have to pay for their flight or lodging. I just don't want to cause any hurt feelings or drama for all of this, and would still invite her to the wedding as a guest. TIA!

"Hey cousin, I know we asked you to be our photographer but when we sat down and thought about it would would much rather have you as a guest in our wedding rather than work it! H and I are looking forward to seeing you at the wedding!"

photokitty

justsie said:

jenspies said:

My fiancé and I had my second cousin take our engagement photos and we asked her if she might be interested in shooting our wedding. We live in California but the wedding will be in Missouri. We gave her months to think about it and I followed up with her a few weeks ago. I hadn't asked her price of shooting the wedding (mistake #1) until then but the price she quoted was over our budget, on top of us feeling the obligation to fly her to Missouri and pay for her lodging if she were to be our photographer. Now, we haven't signed any contracts or made definite plans but how can I politely back out of using her as the photographer? I have found many photographers in Missouri who are in our budget and we wouldn't have to pay for their flight or lodging. I just don't want to cause any hurt feelings or drama for all of this, and would still invite her to the wedding as a guest. TIA!

"Hey cousin, I know we asked you to be our photographer but when we sat down and thought about it would would much rather have you as a guest in our wedding rather than work it! H and I are looking forward to seeing you at the wedding!"

This. If she pushes back keep declining politely.

And your problem is just one of the many reasons I advise against asking a friend or family member to shoot your wedding.

[Deleted User]

I love the response from the first poster. And if she pushes back then you have to be honest with her that once you covered her expenses, that she wasn't in your budget and you went with a different photographer. My SIL and her ex are both professional photographers. It is normal for a photographer to adjust their pricing to covering travel & lodging if you are asking them to go to a location that would require them an overnight stay since they wouldn't normally be staying in that area. Since your cousin would be attending as a vendor since she is working and not as a guest, it's not unreasonable for her to ask for that. But don't feel like you have to book her just because she's your cousin.