Veil or no Veil

[Deleted User]

Alright, so this is the first post I have made but I am really torn on whether or not to wear a veil. My fiance has requested me to have my hair half up, half down and either naturally curly or curled. Our wedding is in December so my hair will be a tad longer by then. With all this in mind, here are the photos of my dress. The camera doesn't do it justice and it needs to be steamed (note the beautiful line going across my thighs and the curling bodice bottom seam). It's considered gold but looks more champagne in the natural light and white in the photos. Lots of bling on the bodice. They put a simple veil on me and it was pretty but I felt that it covered the beauty of the dress. 

If I did not wear a veil, I would have a glam hairpiece most likely so my hair would be adorned, just not in fabric. What do you all think?

beachyone15

I think you could go either way. I'm biased and love veils, so I vote veil. But it'd have to be similar to the one you have on that's very sheer and simple. If it were me, I'm probably do a cathedral length veil so it wouldn't "cut off" the details of the dress midway down.

Maggie0829

beachyone15 said:

I think you could go either way. I'm biased and love veils, so I vote veil. But it'd have to be similar to the one you have on that's very sheer and simple. If it were me, I'm probably do a cathedral length veil so it wouldn't "cut off" the details of the dress midway down.

This.  I figure that a wedding is the one chance you can wear a veil without people looking at you like you are crazy, so I say veil all the way.

[Deleted User]

I see what you mean about the cathedral length so it doesn't break up the look or distract from the dress. I will reconsider now, I do like that longer length idea a lot better than the one in the photo. Hmmmmm

emmaaa

beachyone15 said:

I think you could go either way. I'm biased and love veils, so I vote veil. But it'd have to be similar to the one you have on that's very sheer and simple. If it were me, I'm probably do a cathedral length veil so it wouldn't "cut off" the details of the dress midway down.

This. I would do cathedral length also.

lyndausvi

I hate veils, didn't have one myself.     So I'm a bias.

novella1186

beachyone15 said:

I think you could go either way. I'm biased and love veils, so I vote veil. But it'd have to be similar to the one you have on that's very sheer and simple. If it were me, I'm probably do a cathedral length veil so it wouldn't "cut off" the details of the dress midway down.

Count me as another vote for this. I don't think it covers your dress (as long as you stick to the simple, sheer, single-layer). I actually think it looks really beautiful with your dress, and to me, the style of your dress is very classic so a veil would go great with that look. 

It's really up to you, though. If you sincerely do not want to wear one, you definitely don't have to. 

[Deleted User]

I vote no veil.  I think they look nice on some people, but I think it doesn't look right w/ your dress.  Second best option is to get a shorter veil as PP's suggested.

luckya23

I agree that long veil is the way to go if you do decide to wear a veil.  I also have a light gold dress, and I found it very difficult to match the color, so I got mine from the bridal store, but maybe you could order something like this on amazon (free returns!) to see if you prefer the look.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UBCI4B4/ref=s9_simh_gw_p193_d2_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=desktop-4&pf_rd_r=1M5V5TZSFZ0TDFP1TVXM&pf_rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=2105323362&pf_rd_i=desktop

I think a longer veil will make the color issue less because it will cover the entire back.

[Deleted User]

luckya23 said:

I agree that long veil is the way to go if you do decide to wear a veil.  I also have a light gold dress, and I found it very difficult to match the color, so I got mine from the bridal store, but maybe you could order something like this on amazon (free returns!) to see if you prefer the look.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UBCI4B4/ref=s9_simh_gw_p193_d2_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=desktop-4&pf_rd_r=1M5V5TZSFZ0TDFP1TVXM&pf_rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=2105323362&pf_rd_i=desktop

I think a longer veil will make the color issue less because it will cover the entire back.

That's absolutely gorgeous! I think the details on the veil will cover up the details on my train though . 

I am really torn. I like the "idea" of a veil, so as to feel like a bride from head to toe...but it felt very enclosed when it was on and the dress really sparkles without the veil covering it. 

I guess it's a good thing I have 6 months to think about this.

redheadbride15

Personally, I don't like veils and didn't wear one, but that dress with its style and long train seems to be asking for a veil - I'd vote for a cathedral length one like several PPs have suggested.

novella1186

DplusKDec192015 said:

luckya23 said:

I agree that long veil is the way to go if you do decide to wear a veil.  I also have a light gold dress, and I found it very difficult to match the color, so I got mine from the bridal store, but maybe you could order something like this on amazon (free returns!) to see if you prefer the look.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UBCI4B4/ref=s9_simh_gw_p193_d2_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=desktop-4&pf_rd_r=1M5V5TZSFZ0TDFP1TVXM&pf_rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=2105323362&pf_rd_i=desktop

I think a longer veil will make the color issue less because it will cover the entire back.

That's absolutely gorgeous! I think the details on the veil will cover up the details on my train though . 

I am really torn. I like the "idea" of a veil, so as to feel like a bride from head to toe...but it felt very enclosed when it was on and the dress really sparkles without the veil covering it. 

I guess it's a good thing I have 6 months to think about this.

I'd do something with no lace and no detail, with a raw edge, so that it's not competing with the details on your dress. My dress was all lace so I felt like it was detailed enough on its own, but I liked the idea of wearing a veil (for a Jewish tradition) so I got one that was very plain, and I really liked it. 

Here's mine: (And in hindsight, I wish I would have gone with a longer one so I didn't look cut-off, as PP mentioned, but I only wore it during the ceremony, not for photos or the reception. So it was like the best of both worlds, I guess?)

[Deleted User]

I'm also wondering if it would look more flattering to me and the dress if the veil wasn't so high on my head and wrapping around the front. Just hanging from where my updo stops and the rest of the hair hangs?

thisismynickname2

Here are my thoughts on veils--- all opinion, no judgement: 

-- Cathedral length is gorgeous and dramatic, and makes for great photos

-- If one is going to go over your head, try to make it as flat as possible (like Kate Middleton's), because any kind of poof over the head looks dated

-- Poofy and shorter? Ugh!

-- Anchoring it in the back of your head or under an up-do is pretty

-- Veils only stay on for the ceremony and photos, normally, and can get caught on things very easily, so consider where your ceremony is and how much wandering around you'll be doing. 

-- It is hard to coordinate a veil to a dress, but others have already given good advice on that.

In the end, I didn't wear one. I wore a jeweled headband and loved it. 

ETA: This is from Pinterest and my dream veil, had I gone with one: 

photokitty

emmaaa said:

beachyone15 said:

I think you could go either way. I'm biased and love veils, so I vote veil. But it'd have to be similar to the one you have on that's very sheer and simple. If it were me, I'm probably do a cathedral length veil so it wouldn't "cut off" the details of the dress midway down.

This. I would do cathedral length also.

This. Or a birdcage veil.

paperpusher

No veil

hellohkb

I think a veil would go very nicely with that dress. I also vote for a cathedral length.

Maggie0829

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

thisismynickname2

Maggie0829 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

Eh, I certainly understand that significant others can think we look best a certain way, or just prefer something. One of my guy friends wanted his bride to show off her butt in her wedding dress and that was his only request for her dress... because he loves the way her butt looks. DH wanted me to wear my long and curly but I gave him the stinkeye, told him my hair never holds a curl and that I feel more elegant with a full updo, and he dropped it. And he still thought I looked fabulous on our wedding day. 

There's taking one's opinion, sure, but if you don't like the opinion, it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you take someone's opinion too seriously. 

[Deleted User]

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I asked him if he has a preference. It's odd to some people because they don't normally give their SO the option to have an opinion but most guys do have a preference. He's not 100% involved in the wedding but I asked him if he had any requests. He made a few and I felt they were reasonable so I was happy to accommodate. It's his wedding too. 

[Deleted User]

DplusKDec192015 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I asked him if he has a preference. It's odd to some people because they don't normally give their SO the option to have an opinion but most guys do have a preference. He's not 100% involved in the wedding but I asked him if he had any requests. He made a few and I felt they were reasonable so I was happy to accommodate. It's his wedding too. 

I'm contemplating cutting my hair.  Right now it's halfway down my back, but I only ever wear it up in a ponytail or a messy bun.  I'm contemplating a pixie cut.  I keep asking FH what he prefers.  He refuses to state a preference.  It's driving me crazy.  I mean, I understand that it's my hair, and I might cut it even he says he prefers it long, but to not even have a slight preference for one or the other...?

[Deleted User]

thisismynickname said:

Maggie0829 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

Eh, I certainly understand that significant others can think we look best a certain way, or just prefer something. One of my guy friends wanted his bride to show off her butt in her wedding dress and that was his only request for her dress... because he loves the way her butt looks. DH wanted me to wear my long and curly but I gave him the stinkeye, told him my hair never holds a curl and that I feel more elegant with a full updo, and he dropped it. And he still thought I looked fabulous on our wedding day. 

There's taking one's opinion, sure, but if you don't like the opinion, it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you take someone's opinion too seriously. 

I understand that those are y'alls opinions but it doesn't have anything to do with my original question. I asked him and I chose whether that was something I agreed with or not....I like my hair half up half down, all up, all down....so I knew going into the question with him that I didn't have a determined idea of my hair for the wedding. It's my choice to involve him just as it's other's choice to not involve their FI. Call me old fashioned but I cared about his opinion. There have been plenty of other things that we both had opposite opinions on and both of us have either compromised or granted the other person the opportunity to see their request through. I'm not out to win every single battle, I love him and at the end of the day, the wedding will come and go....our marriage is forever. I'd rather us both be happy than for either of us to feel left out or ignored. It's our wedding and we both are getting married only once. 

For goodness sakes, it's hair not a life or death thing. There are much more important battles in life, hair is nowhere near the top of the priority list.

novella1186

DplusKDec192015 said:

thisismynickname said:

Maggie0829 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

Eh, I certainly understand that significant others can think we look best a certain way, or just prefer something. One of my guy friends wanted his bride to show off her butt in her wedding dress and that was his only request for her dress... because he loves the way her butt looks. DH wanted me to wear my long and curly but I gave him the stinkeye, told him my hair never holds a curl and that I feel more elegant with a full updo, and he dropped it. And he still thought I looked fabulous on our wedding day. 

There's taking one's opinion, sure, but if you don't like the opinion, it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you take someone's opinion too seriously. 

I understand that those are y'alls opinions but it doesn't have anything to do with my original question. I asked him and I chose whether that was something I agreed with or not....I like my hair half up half down, all up, all down....so I knew going into the question with him that I didn't have a determined idea of my hair for the wedding. It's my choice to involve him just as it's other's choice to not involve their FI. Call me old fashioned but I cared about his opinion. There have been plenty of other things that we both had opposite opinions on and both of us have either compromised or granted the other person the opportunity to see their request through. I'm not out to win every single battle, I love him and at the end of the day, the wedding will come and go....our marriage is forever. I'd rather us both be happy than for either of us to feel left out or ignored. It's our wedding and we both are getting married only once. 

For goodness sakes, it's hair not a life or death thing. There are much more important battles in life, hair is nowhere near the top of the priority list.

I don't think it's a big deal that you guys talked about your hair. I ask H's opinion all the time because he has great style and I like to know what he thinks. 

I asked him what kind of dress I should wear and his only input was "just not something really really poofy or with big jewels all over it" which made me laugh (I wouldn't have picked either of those things anyway. Just not my style at all.) 

I asked him what I should do with my hair when I couldn't decide (because I wanted it down but my mom said that "wouldn't be special." His input there was "Wear it down if you want to. I love your hair down, you're going to look beautiful." Good, settled. 

He asked for my input on his attire as well. Ultimately he picked whatever HE liked the best, but I loved everything he picked and told him so. 

No big deal. 

[Deleted User]

Guys are trained to not have opinions because they get shot down and ignored anyway. Let him know that you might still go through with it but that it's important to you that you are aware of his opinion before make a final decision. 

I love pixie cuts on some people, I had one years ago and then a swing bob. I feel like I look more put together with the bob but wanted longer hair for my wedding so it's been growing since we got engaged. 

I respect people who listen to their SO and hear them out. It's better than not asking because it shows you respect their opinion...but you are also capable of making your own decisions. He will love you either way but I would defintely let him voice his opinion and clarify that you might or might not end up going for the pixie.

Maggie0829

novella1186 said:

DplusKDec192015 said:

thisismynickname said:

Maggie0829 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

Eh, I certainly understand that significant others can think we look best a certain way, or just prefer something. One of my guy friends wanted his bride to show off her butt in her wedding dress and that was his only request for her dress... because he loves the way her butt looks. DH wanted me to wear my long and curly but I gave him the stinkeye, told him my hair never holds a curl and that I feel more elegant with a full updo, and he dropped it. And he still thought I looked fabulous on our wedding day. 

There's taking one's opinion, sure, but if you don't like the opinion, it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you take someone's opinion too seriously. 

I understand that those are y'alls opinions but it doesn't have anything to do with my original question. I asked him and I chose whether that was something I agreed with or not....I like my hair half up half down, all up, all down....so I knew going into the question with him that I didn't have a determined idea of my hair for the wedding. It's my choice to involve him just as it's other's choice to not involve their FI. Call me old fashioned but I cared about his opinion. There have been plenty of other things that we both had opposite opinions on and both of us have either compromised or granted the other person the opportunity to see their request through. I'm not out to win every single battle, I love him and at the end of the day, the wedding will come and go....our marriage is forever. I'd rather us both be happy than for either of us to feel left out or ignored. It's our wedding and we both are getting married only once. 

For goodness sakes, it's hair not a life or death thing. There are much more important battles in life, hair is nowhere near the top of the priority list.

I don't think it's a big deal that you guys talked about your hair. I ask H's opinion all the time because he has great style and I like to know what he thinks. 

I asked him what kind of dress I should wear and his only input was "just not something really really poofy or with big jewels all over it" which made me laugh (I wouldn't have picked either of those things anyway. Just not my style at all.) 

I asked him what I should do with my hair when I couldn't decide (because I wanted it down but my mom said that "wouldn't be special." His input there was "Wear it down if you want to. I love your hair down, you're going to look beautiful." Good, settled. 

He asked for my input on his attire as well. Ultimately he picked whatever HE liked the best, but I loved everything he picked and told him so. 

No big deal. 

I guess for me there is a difference between randomly discussing things and then doing something a certain way ONLY because that is what your SO wants.  Mainly when it comes to your personal appearance.  Yeah your SO may have a preference one way or another but if he/she gives you that preference but you don't like it but go ahead with it anyway is where my issue comes into play.  Yeah you want to make your SO happy but your SO will be happy (or should be happy) as long as you do what makes you happy.  So if he/she prefers your hair down but you want it up then you should wear it up and your SO should be content with that.

[Deleted User]

novella1186 said:

DplusKDec192015 said:

thisismynickname said:

Maggie0829 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

Eh, I certainly understand that significant others can think we look best a certain way, or just prefer something. One of my guy friends wanted his bride to show off her butt in her wedding dress and that was his only request for her dress... because he loves the way her butt looks. DH wanted me to wear my long and curly but I gave him the stinkeye, told him my hair never holds a curl and that I feel more elegant with a full updo, and he dropped it. And he still thought I looked fabulous on our wedding day. 

There's taking one's opinion, sure, but if you don't like the opinion, it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you take someone's opinion too seriously. 

I understand that those are y'alls opinions but it doesn't have anything to do with my original question. I asked him and I chose whether that was something I agreed with or not....I like my hair half up half down, all up, all down....so I knew going into the question with him that I didn't have a determined idea of my hair for the wedding. It's my choice to involve him just as it's other's choice to not involve their FI. Call me old fashioned but I cared about his opinion. There have been plenty of other things that we both had opposite opinions on and both of us have either compromised or granted the other person the opportunity to see their request through. I'm not out to win every single battle, I love him and at the end of the day, the wedding will come and go....our marriage is forever. I'd rather us both be happy than for either of us to feel left out or ignored. It's our wedding and we both are getting married only once. 

For goodness sakes, it's hair not a life or death thing. There are much more important battles in life, hair is nowhere near the top of the priority list.

I don't think it's a big deal that you guys talked about your hair. I ask H's opinion all the time because he has great style and I like to know what he thinks. 

I asked him what kind of dress I should wear and his only input was "just not something really really poofy or with big jewels all over it" which made me laugh (I wouldn't have picked either of those things anyway. Just not my style at all.) 

I asked him what I should do with my hair when I couldn't decide (because I wanted it down but my mom said that "wouldn't be special." His input there was "Wear it down if you want to. I love your hair down, you're going to look beautiful." Good, settled. 

He asked for my input on his attire as well. Ultimately he picked whatever HE liked the best, but I loved everything he picked and told him so. 

No big deal. 

Sounds like our convo. See? It's not a bad or abnormal thing to talk and ask opinions. I really am not sure how that got blown up but I think we both understand each other.

novella1186

Maggie0829 said:

novella1186 said:

DplusKDec192015 said:

thisismynickname said:

Maggie0829 said:

scribe95 said:

Out of curiosity, why has your fiance made a request about your hair? That seems a bit odd to me.

I agree with this.  I get wanting your FI to like how you look but I do not get when FIs request a certain hair style or certain type of dress, etc.  To me it is like he doesn't trust that you will chose a hair style that is good enough.

Eh, I certainly understand that significant others can think we look best a certain way, or just prefer something. One of my guy friends wanted his bride to show off her butt in her wedding dress and that was his only request for her dress... because he loves the way her butt looks. DH wanted me to wear my long and curly but I gave him the stinkeye, told him my hair never holds a curl and that I feel more elegant with a full updo, and he dropped it. And he still thought I looked fabulous on our wedding day. 

There's taking one's opinion, sure, but if you don't like the opinion, it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you take someone's opinion too seriously. 

I understand that those are y'alls opinions but it doesn't have anything to do with my original question. I asked him and I chose whether that was something I agreed with or not....I like my hair half up half down, all up, all down....so I knew going into the question with him that I didn't have a determined idea of my hair for the wedding. It's my choice to involve him just as it's other's choice to not involve their FI. Call me old fashioned but I cared about his opinion. There have been plenty of other things that we both had opposite opinions on and both of us have either compromised or granted the other person the opportunity to see their request through. I'm not out to win every single battle, I love him and at the end of the day, the wedding will come and go....our marriage is forever. I'd rather us both be happy than for either of us to feel left out or ignored. It's our wedding and we both are getting married only once. 

For goodness sakes, it's hair not a life or death thing. There are much more important battles in life, hair is nowhere near the top of the priority list.

I don't think it's a big deal that you guys talked about your hair. I ask H's opinion all the time because he has great style and I like to know what he thinks. 

I asked him what kind of dress I should wear and his only input was "just not something really really poofy or with big jewels all over it" which made me laugh (I wouldn't have picked either of those things anyway. Just not my style at all.) 

I asked him what I should do with my hair when I couldn't decide (because I wanted it down but my mom said that "wouldn't be special." His input there was "Wear it down if you want to. I love your hair down, you're going to look beautiful." Good, settled. 

He asked for my input on his attire as well. Ultimately he picked whatever HE liked the best, but I loved everything he picked and told him so. 

No big deal. 

I guess for me there is a difference between randomly discussing things and then doing something a certain way ONLY because that is what your SO wants.  Mainly when it comes to your personal appearance.  Yeah your SO may have a preference one way or another but if he/she gives you that preference but you don't like it but go ahead with it anyway is where my issue comes into play.  Yeah you want to make your SO happy but your SO will be happy (or should be happy) as long as you do what makes you happy.  So if he/she prefers your hair down but you want it up then you should wear it up and your SO should be content with that.

Oh yeah, definitely. If H had insisted on me wearing my hair up and I told him I really wanted it down, but he didn't care  and demanded that I wear my hair the way HE wants... well that's not a person I would marry. 

Maggie0829

novella1186 said:

Oh yeah, definitely. If H had insisted on me wearing my hair up and I told him I really wanted it down, but he didn't care  and demanded that I wear my hair the way HE wants... well that's not a person I would marry. 

I am cutting back the quote tree!

My Dad actually was disappointed when I told him I was wearing my hair up.  He was like "oh but you have such pretty hair that I thought you would wear it down" and then imagine a pouty look.  I almost considered changing my hair because me being a Daddy's girl I wanted to make him happy.  My Mom quickly reminded me that I could wear a potato sack and shave my head and my Dad would still think I was beautiful.  So I wore my hair up and he thought I looked great.  But if my H had said something like that I would have been all "it will be July, my hair is going up!" 

mrscomposer

If you do decide to go with a veil, I'd go for one that just attaches to the back of your head and doesn't come across your shoulders at all.  The lace and detailing on your dress is beautiful and I wouldn't want to cover it up.

lachattefatale

I also vote for a cathedral length veil, raw edges, single layer. Just make sure it comes all the way to the end of your train, or even a bit longer, so none of the detail is cut off. (No veil would also look just fine, but IMO I wouldn't do a shorter veil or birdcage with your dress. Which is gorgeous, btw.)

[Deleted User]

lachattefatale said:

I also vote for a cathedral length veil, raw edges, single layer. Just make sure it comes all the way to the end of your train, or even a bit longer, so none of the detail is cut off. (No veil would also look just fine, but IMO I wouldn't do a shorter veil or birdcage with your dress. Which is gorgeous, btw.)

Thank you! I really scored. Would you believe it was under $300? It's absolutely stunning in person. I agree on the short/birdcage. I haven't 100% decided yet but it'll either be no veil or a cathedral that most likely will be a tad longer than my dress. Thanks for the input everyone! I thought I was crazy for going back and forth about all the options but I am glad I am not the only one that felt the one in the photo broke up the aesthetics of the dress.