Registry and Gift Forum

Requesting card gifts

I am trying to come up with a "cute" way of requesting cash. We live in a small apartment in New York City, so to be completely honest, we just don't have room for many more boxed gifts. 

Initially, we took down our registries after the bridal shower, but we have have still continued to receive a few packages (both from accepts and regrets). I was thinking of posting "help us keep our apartment uncluttered with a card gift" on the registry page of website, but I think this might sound cold and demanding.

Any suggestions?

Re: Requesting card gifts

  • Sorry, just to be clear, we DO have a small registry, but a bigger wedding. I am not sure if word will get out that we would prefer cash, but really the bigger issue is that we are stuffed to the brim with large gifts. 

    Small gifts would be OK, but we just do not have much need for valuable small things. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    There is no appropriate way, "cute" or otherwise, to request cash only. It is not a "cute" request to make.
    [Deleted User]Amanderson1290
  • Agree with PP, no cute way to say something that is rude. Sorry OP, return gifts that are too big to keep in the apartment after the wedding if you have to, but it is rude to tell people you are only accepting cash. 
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    squigs25 said:

    I am trying to come up with a "cute" way of requesting cash. We live in a small apartment in New York City, so to be completely honest, we just don't have room for many more boxed gifts. 


    Initially, we took down our registries after the bridal shower, but we have have still continued to receive a few packages (both from accepts and regrets). I was thinking of posting "help us keep our apartment uncluttered with a card gift" on the registry page of website, but I think this might sound cold and demanding.

    Any suggestions?
    There is no cute way to ask for cards or cash. It's tacky. And rude. You are correct that it comes across as cold and demanding. So if someone asks you where are you registered? "Oh, we aren't registered." "What am I supposed to get you?" "We are saving for X." Or whatever.

    image
  • We are kind of in the same situation. We merged two households (we are a little older) and we have everything we could need. We haven't registered and have been discussing what to do about that. Currently, on our unfinished wedding site, there is something about people's presence being gift enough and how to donate to the local children's hospital (where I work) if they feel they want to give a gift. Our invitations have not gone out yet so we are still messing with this idea.
    squigs25
  • You can't request gift cards, it's considered rude.  

    If space is an issue, then why did you register for large gifts in the first place?  If you register for a blender at Macy's, and you get a blender, then I assume you have plans to use it.  If I decide to get you a gift card at Macy's instead, then I assume you want to purchase housewares with it.   If you buy housewares, they still take up space. 

    Are you planning to move and that's why registered?  If that's the case, then you accept the gifts and find a place to store them in the mean time.   FI and I live in tiny apartment, but plan to buy a house within the next year.   We have gifts stored in every itch of our home, including our bedroom closet and a draw in my nightstand.   If you aren't planning to move, then why did you register for items you can't properly use in the first place? 


    STARMOON44
  • We are kind of in the same situation. We merged two households (we are a little older) and we have everything we could need. We haven't registered and have been discussing what to do about that. Currently, on our unfinished wedding site, there is something about people's presence being gift enough and how to donate to the local children's hospital (where I work) if they feel they want to give a gift. Our invitations have not gone out yet so we are still messing with this idea.
    I wouldn't say this either. Reads like you are expecting gifts and gifts should never be expected. 
    image
  • People are not stupid. People will give money without being prompted. Requesting it just makes one look greedy. Even with two registries we got a considerable amount of money. All you need to do is just be prepared to send a gracious thank you note for every gift you receive.
    image
  • Yeah, we are still working on this wording.. We want people to donate to the hospital if they still feel they want to give a gift even though we are going to be very clear that we're just glad they are there- no gift necessary. our invitations are going out in a few weeks so we have a little more time to figure this out...
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Just keep your registry small. When it runs out, people will give cash if they were not already planning to. There is no cute way to ask for it. There is no appropriate way to ever ask for cash as a gift.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • Yeah, we are still working on this wording.. We want people to donate to the hospital if they still feel they want to give a gift even though we are going to be very clear that we're just glad they are there- no gift necessary. our invitations are going out in a few weeks so we have a little more time to figure this out...
    There is no wording that makes it okay, though. Don't say anything on the invitations regarding gifts.
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There is no acceptable way to ask for cash. You don't bring up gifts, and you certainly don't put anything about them with your invitation. 

    Delete the registry and let people get the hint. If someone gives you something you don't want, thank them and then sell it or donate it. 
    [Deleted User]
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There is no acceptable why to ask for cash.  It's tacky.  

      I can't speak for everyone in NYC, but in my own experience is the wedding gift of choice seems to be cash in that area anyway.

    Showers are GIFT giving events, not cash giving events.  So if you do not need anything, then do not have a shower.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Yeah, we are still working on this wording.. We want people to donate to the hospital if they still feel they want to give a gift even though we are going to be very clear that we're just glad they are there- no gift necessary. our invitations are going out in a few weeks so we have a little more time to figure this out...
    It's rude to mention gifts at all, because it presumes that you have the expectation of one - even saying "They aren't necessary..." because again it presumes that you thought they were necessary to begin with and are being a martyr by refusing them.  Gifts are never required.  If you don't want them, don't register and if people ask where you're registered say "Thanks for thinking of us, but we didn't register because we have everything we need."  Boom.  Done. 

    If people still want to give you a gift, physical or cash, that's on them and it would be rude of you to dictate the gift.  You simply accept the gift graciously and write them a thank you note.  If you want the money to go to a hospital, then you quietly donate the money you receive as a gifts yourself without any fanfare.  It's just that simple.  Same with your physical gifts - you can either return them and donate the cash to the hospital or see if the hospital would like them for their next fundraising event - part of a silent auction or raffle prize.
    Cookie Pusherjustsielevioosa[Deleted User]
  • squigs25 said:
    I am trying to come up with a "cute" way of requesting cash. We live in a small apartment in New York City, so to be completely honest, we just don't have room for many more boxed gifts. 

    Initially, we took down our registries after the bridal shower, but we have have still continued to receive a few packages (both from accepts and regrets). I was thinking of posting "help us keep our apartment uncluttered with a card gift" on the registry page of website, but I think this might sound cold and demanding.

    Any suggestions?
    Sure:

    We are tacky and rude,
    But here's some food.
    Before you go
    Make sure, you  know
    Leave us some cash
    As we shake our Ass
    Out the door 
    'Cause etiquette is a bore.

    Cute enough for ya?
    thespeshulestsnowflake
  • Our invitations and enclosures don't say anything about gifts, registries or anything. We left it off of our website too. Done.
    [Deleted User]justsieShesSoColdViczaesar
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