Wedding Party

Am I Wrong?

So MOH got ticked off at me because I didnt call her back when she needed to vent. She called while I was at work and I ended working late and had to rush home for date night with FI. I assumed since she didn't send a 911 text after calling that maybe she just wanted to chat, so I decided to call her later. Fast forward to the end of the night she is tweeting about people being "users" and never there for her. I decided not to call once I got home because she clearly was in a bad mood. A few days later she sends a very rude text saying that I am never there for her and she is always there for me. By then I was irritated and sent a rude text back because I hate those friends that keep a record of the nice things they do for you. That morning she sends text saying that she was drunk and that's why she said that but she does feel like I'm never there for her. I decided not to respond because I knew my response would not be the nicest. I guess she got upset that I didn't respond and proceeded once again to tweet. This time that she wishes she never spent x amount of money on that ugly dress. So am I wrong if I want to ask her not to be apart of my wedding? I feel like even if things work out there will always be apart me wondering if she is counting all things she does for me waiting to use it against me.

Re: Am I Wrong?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    Yes, it's all very childish. And why didn't you call her the next day?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    ViczaesarOliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLostSTARMOON44
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    So you two are communicating via social media instead of just picking up the phone to talk to each other and figure out why BOTH of your panties seem to be hugely wadded?

    This'll go quite well. Continue on your path. Can't fail.

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    zitiqueenPrettyGirlLost
  • Is this normally how you interact with one another?  This does not seem like a healthy, mature relationship.  

    I can't imagine having this type of interaction with anyone, let alone someone I had asked to be in my wedding.  They were my best friends and family and I can honestly say there has never been a cross word btw ANY of us.  And certainly no angry vague-booking or rude tweeting about each other.  That behavior to me is worthy of serious ridicule.  Sorrynotsorry, mean tweets do not a true friendship make.

    Call her up and have a heart to heart.  If you have to text and social media battle with someone, how is that even considered a friendship?  If she's really an awful person, why would you ask her to be in your wedding?  Yes, kicking her out would be a friendship ending move but is this someone you really want to continue a relationship with?  This is not how true friends behave. On both sides.  
     
    STARMOON44
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Good lord.



    PrettyGirlLostsparklepants41pinupbride6189
  • Wow. Any time a fight between friends includes angry tweets, some serious growing up needs to happen. 

    This all sounds incredibly immature and petty. 
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  • The level of immaturity displayed in this entire post from both the OP and her MOH. 

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    OliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • This is pretty simple. When someone calls you return the call. You didn't. Grow up.
    banana468STARMOON44
  • Trying to get this straight.. you didn't call her back that night because of a tweet, then you didn't call her the next day.. then she reached out to apologize and you again ignored her so she took to social media again, and I'm assuming you still haven't reached back out to her? I can't even wrap my head around this on either side, she's your best friend, yet you can't call her because she is in a bad mood? Then she seems to think social media is a good place to take out her frustration because you aren't responding at all to her. Completely immature on both sides if you ask me, and yes, you are being part of the problem.

    How about playing an "adult" and talking to her? Just an idea.

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    STARMOON44
  • auriannaaurianna
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited June 2015
    Heffalump said:
    It depends.  Are any of her prospective replacements the same dress size?  This is very important.

    Shhhhhhhh. People that get in twitter fights might not pick up on certain nuances and will think you are serious.


    But seriously, OP, it sounds like feelings were hurt on both sides and this has just snowballed. Kick her out of your wedding if you never want to be friends again (but prepare for backlash from mutual friends). OR try to make contact and mend the relationship.

    I took a wedding preparation course and one thing they taught us is the "I feel" method.
    So don't say "You did this and this and this." You say "when this event happened, it made me feel xyz." Makes it less accusatory and also harder for the other party to negate your point.
    And in turn, find out how various things made her feel, and apologize for your actions making her feel that way.

    Do this in person or over the phone. Not via text / twitter/ facebook / etc
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    aurianna said:
    Heffalump said:
    It depends.  Are any of her prospective replacements the same dress size?  This is very important.

    Shhhhhhhh. People that get in twitter fights might not pick up on certain nuances and will think you are serious.


    But seriously, OP, it sounds like feelings were hurt on both sides and this has just snowballed. Kick her out of your wedding if you never want to be friends again (but prepare for backlash from mutual friends). OR try to make contact and mend the relationship.

    I took a wedding preparation course and one thing they taught us is the "I feel" method.
    So don't say "You did this and this and this." You say "when this event happened, it made me feel xyz." Makes it less accusatory and also harder for the other party to negate your point.
    And in turn, find out how various things made her feel, and apologize for your actions making her feel that way.

    Do this in person or over the phone. Not via text / twitter/ facebook / etc
    She used the sarcasm font.  It's fine.
    atomicblonde
  • edited June 2015
    This situation isn't extreme enough to ask someone out of your bridal party.   It really all sounds incredibly immature.   I have friends that call and I might not get back to them for a day or two.   The same thing happens when I call them.   We're adults with jobs, households to run, and some of them have children.   We don't get upset with each other if this happens.   We apologize for being busy and get on with it.   If I need to speak to them immediately, I leave a message explaining why I need to speak with them ASAP.   If I see they call, sometimes I write back a quick text message and say, "Sorry, I didn't answer your call.  I'm busy with work; I'll call you this weekend."   That's how adults handle communication.  

    I agree with others that this is very childish.   
    onefootinthebayoubb2016drunkenwitch
  • I didn't realize immature junior high kids were allowed to get married...

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