NWR: Godparents

switSwoo00

FI and I have been asked to be Godparents for some close friends' baby. We are very flattered.

FI's Godparents are sadly deceased and he doesn't remember them. My parents no longer have contact with my Godparents as they were on my dads side and he is now estranged due to a number of reasons. Anyway that's not really important, sorry, other than saying that neither FI or I really have a good understanding of what is expected of this role and what we should do in terms of responsibilities etc? We don't attend the same church as our friends but we have similar beliefs and values.

I have googled the role (!) and have a general sense of being a good role model, being a listening ear etc. When we asked our friends what they would like from us they just said 'remember the baby's birthday'. I don't want to let our friends down, do you guys have any advice or experience to offer?

justsie

switSwoo00 said:

FI and I have been asked to be Godparents for some close friends' baby. We are very flattered. FI's Godparents are sadly deceased and he doesn't remember them. My parents no longer have contact with my Godparents as they were on my dads side and he is now estranged due to a number of reasons. Anyway that's not really important, sorry, other than saying that neither FI or I really have a good understanding of what is expected of this role and what we should do in terms of responsibilities etc? We don't attend the same church as our friends but we have similar beliefs and values. I have googled the role (!) and have a general sense of being a good role model, being a listening ear etc. When we asked our friends what they would like from us they just said 'remember the baby's birthday'. I don't want to let our friends down, do you guys have any advice or experience to offer?

Based on an experience on here-maybe another forum I can't remember- I think its best to ask the couple what their expectations of a godparent are. For some, it is just a religious role model, for others (like my case) its the people that will take care of the child should anything happen to the parents. If all they want is another adult looking out for the kid, then that could be it as well. Maybe even having a discussion about what their experiance with their godparents- if they had any- can help shed some light on their expectations. 

AddieCake

All the people I know who are godparents are just people who are close to the family and give their godchildren cards and presents at the usual occasions.

OliveOilsMom

I am a godparent times three.  For the most part, it is just ceremonial.  Traditionally, the godmother will purchase the baptismal outfit for the child, but that doesn't always happens.  It depends on the parents.  If you've asked and the parents just want you to remember the baby's birthday, then that probably is all they want you to do for their child. 

NavyBlue143

For me and H, we are the legal guardians of our godson if something happens to his parents. That's pretty much our only job. 

jacques27

You really need to just press them about what specifically they expect.  Religious obligations?  Guardianship obligations?  You're not going to get the answer on this forum really. 

For some people it's just simply a honor title with little obligation.
For some people it's an honor title with an expectation that you'll be involved in their lives for a good long while and be present for important moments in the kid's life.
For some people it has religious significance, but they have no expectations of any actual duties.
For some people it has religious significance and there is an expectation that you will play a role in spiritual development of the child (my experience is this is usually with Catholics and they do not select those who are not Catholic, though some others may also stress this aspect, too).
For some people there is the expectation that you would become the child's legal guardian if something were to happen to both parents (this should also hopefully be accompanied by legal paperwork). 
For some people it's some swanky combination of the above.

Based on your post, it kinda sounds like the second one is their intent, but you really can't know that without consulting with them.  Ask them more questions if you're unsure.

Chipmunk415

My godparents are friends of my dad's who would have taken care of me if my much older parents had died while I was a child.

I'm now godmother to my younger niece. They are Irish catholic, my mom raised me Irish protestant/anglican. We joke about the "family heathen" being responsible for the child's spiritual wellbeing. Im on the opposite side of the country so I can't fulfill that role in the traditional sense, but I try to be a good role model and call my niece often, encourage her interests and dreams and make a point to give her special attention. She loved being my god daughter at my wedding, as she got to both throw petals with her sister and hold my bouquet

MairePoppy

jacques27 covered all bases.

My family is Roman Catholic. My Godparents were expected to support my religious education. There were no other obligations, but they commemorated each sacrament with jewelry. A rosary and children's bible for my first communion, a ruby birthstone ring for my confirmation. I asked my Godmother to be my confirmation sponsor because my Godparents remained close to me throughout my life. If I had been married in the Catholic church, I would have asked my Godparents to present the bread and wine for communion. In my family - it's tradition for the Godparents to buy the cake for the party after the baptism, first communion, confirmation.

[Deleted User]

If you asked and all you've been asked to do is "remember the child's birthday", I'd take them at their word.  You get to be the "cool aunt" basically.  Take the kid to see PG13 movies at age 11.  Feed him/her a dinner of ice cream and cake instead of the planned spaghetti.  Trips to the water park when you come to visit.  Noisy toys like a drum set as gifts.  Have fun!

ILoveBeachMusic

My husband and I are godparents to our friends' sons and they are godparents to our three children. Over the years (the oldest is 29) we have attended baptisms (obviously), first communion, confirmation, elementary school, middle school and high school graduations in addition to the birthday parties. Now we are starting the wedding portion of our lives. Our children have also grown up together and consider each other family. We are Lutheran. We are Aunt and Uncle to the god children.