Etiquette

Registry??? What do you add?

This may sound like a crazy thing but we're having trouble figuring out what to add to our registry.  Our wedding is on the small and intimate side.  I read somewhere you should have a variety of things and it should be larger than your guest list.  I don't know what we should do.  Is it okay to just have a few things and leave it up to our guest to decied if they get something from the list, choose something themselves or get us nothing at all?


Re: Registry??? What do you add?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    You can have whatever size you want or even none at all. Don't add stuff just to add stuff if you don't want that stuff.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • This may sound like a crazy thing but we're having trouble figuring out what to add to our registry.  Our wedding is on the small and intimate side.  I read somewhere you should have a variety of things and it should be larger than your guest list.  I don't know what we should do.  Is it okay to just have a few things and leave it up to our guest to decied if they get something from the list, choose something themselves or get us nothing at all?


    Agree with AddieCake. Also, just because someone doesn't get you something from the registry does not mean they won't get you anything. A lot of people take a small registry (or no registry) to mean that you would like cash and will therefore give you that. 
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  • We put everything we needed and left off the things we would like but aren't necessary. That was a personal choice. Heck, my FMIL straight up told each of us FDIL that she would not even look at our registry because she of all people knows what is necessary to begin a home. Which just goes to show that some people just don't care haha. She looked at one of my FI SIL registries, said "oh! I will get her that!" and when she went to go buy it, I told her she could scan the registry so it's removed from the list and she said "no, I don't want to". SIL ended up with major doubles. Idk if people don't understand registries or just don't care, haha.
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  • I would add some. There are lots of things that aren't must haves but are ridiculously awesome and useful. Here are a few.

    Sheets
    Towels
    Pillows
    Paper shredder
    Mini safe
    Fancy wine opener
    Outdoor bag chairs
    New cutlery
    Ice cream maker

    [Deleted User]mbross3
  • That doesn't sound crazy at all!  We had an awful time with a registry and debated even doing one because as far as we could tell we already have everything we need.  We took an inventory and realized that there are in fact some household type objects that we either don't have or that seriously need replacing.  

    So our registry currently has 14 items on it ranging from a $4 whisk to a $65 microwave.  I think my FH wants to add a good set of steak knives.  We just figure people will take a glance at it and if they don't want to get something from there they'll either give us money or nothing at all.  Anything is fine with us.  We just want people to come and celebrate with us and have a blast.
  • scribe95 said:
    I would add some. There are lots of things that aren't must haves but are ridiculously awesome and useful. Here are a few.

    Sheets
    Towels
    Pillows
    Paper shredder
    Mini safe
    Fancy wine opener
    Outdoor bag chairs
    New cutlery
    Ice cream maker

    I second these. I had never owned nice sheets or pillows before (just got the cheap ones from Target because that's what I could afford). Having a nicer quality version of those things has been awesome. We already had towels too but they were cheap ones I bought for college 10 years ago and were falling apart so, again, it was nice to get new ones. 

    A couple other things we got that I love love love and use all the time: a mini food processor that's dishwasher safe, a double-burner griddle for the stove, and a salad spinner. That's because my H and I love to cook and try to make most things from scratch, so these things have been so amazing to have and they weren't necessarily things we had the funds to buy on our own. 

    Maybe think about what you and your FI like to do and what your habits and hobbies are. If you're really into wine, register for some wine accessories. If you're big beer drinkers, register for a nice set of beer glasses. If you bake a ton, maybe a nice set of mixing bowls and pans. Picture frames to hang family/wedding photos. Stuff you actually need or will use. Don't buy into all those nonsense lists that say "you must have a set of formal china and napkin rings and a soup tureen and gravy boats and and and and." 

    Or, don't register at all. If people want to give you gifts, they will. As PP said, they'll either pick out their own thing or give cash. This doesn't need to be stressful! Have fun with it :) 
    image
  • We used our registry to essentially replace all of our dishes and glassware, which was a mish-mash of cheap stuff we'd mostly had since college. Now we have 2 full sets of dishes, and a bunch of matching glasses. Nothing was actually very expensive (one set of dishes is the white every-day stuff from Bed Bath and Beyond, and the other is a prettier but still "casual" dishwasher-safe brand from Macy's we plan to use as our "nice stuff for dinner parties"). But it's really nice to have full matching sets of stuff!
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work
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    We just registered over the weekend! One thing that helped me was that I pretended I was hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my family. What would I need to pull that off? Nice napkins and rings, gravy boat, serving bowls, more wine glasses, etc. And now looking at my registry, I actually want to host a Thanksgiving dinner in my future. I also thought hard about what my mom (who entertains a lot) usually puts out at parties.
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    lachattefataleSP29simcal18
  • adk19adk19
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    peachy13 said:
    We just registered over the weekend! One thing that helped me was that I pretended I was hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my family. What would I need to pull that off? Nice napkins and rings, gravy boat, serving bowls, more wine glasses, etc. And now looking at my registry, I actually want to host a Thanksgiving dinner in my future. I also thought hard about what my mom (who entertains a lot) usually puts out at parties.
    Yep.  You need more serving dishes.  You always need more serving dishes; one for cheese, one for crackers, one for hummus, pitas, chips, salsa, guac, mild salsa for the wimps, egg rolls, buffalo wings, jerk wings, bleu cheese dip, ranch dip, olives, pickles, PLUS the turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, meatless stuffing for the vegetarians, meatless gravy, Tofurkey, rolls, etc.  PLUS you'll need at least a few more for leftovers the next day unless you're serving everything out of tupperware, in which case you need more tupperware.  ;-)
    peachy13abcdevonnSP29
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona
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    We used it to upgrade our dishes.  A new/better toaster.  Some nice bath towels (super large bath sheets are awesome).  Some nice bed sheets (you can never have too many sets). Things like that.  We had a variety of cost, but certainly less items than people invited.  Many of our guests chose to give us money instead.  

    image 

  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    This may sound like a crazy thing but we're having trouble figuring out what to add to our registry.  Our wedding is on the small and intimate side.  I read somewhere you should have a variety of things and it should be larger than your guest list.  I don't know what we should do.  Is it okay to just have a few things and leave it up to our guest to decied if they get something from the list, choose something themselves or get us nothing at all?


    Here in NJ, most people give cash to a wedding and bring a gift to the shower.  If you're having a shower, I'd at least make sure you're registered for enough stuff to cover the number of guests invited to the shower plus some extra.  Otherwise, you risk people buying you random stuff.  I never give cash at a shower.

    We were mid 30s, lived on our own for awhile and still managed to have a full registry.  We registered for new sheets, new towels.  Replaced baking pans, got all new matching barware, etc.
  • Maybe some sentimental items? Picture frames, shadow boxes, a photo album for family photos. Mr. And Mrs. hand towels or whatever.
  • justsie said:
    This may sound like a crazy thing but we're having trouble figuring out what to add to our registry.  Our wedding is on the small and intimate side.  I read somewhere you should have a variety of things and it should be larger than your guest list.  I don't know what we should do.  Is it okay to just have a few things and leave it up to our guest to decied if they get something from the list, choose something themselves or get us nothing at all?


    Agree with AddieCake. Also, just because someone doesn't get you something from the registry does not mean they won't get you anything. A lot of people take a small registry (or no registry) to mean that you would like cash and will therefore give you that. 
    We had a small registry (and wedding) also.  We had enough things on it for the shower, but almost everybody gave cash at the wedding.  
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  • twoleighs said:


    justsie said:



    This may sound like a crazy thing but we're having trouble figuring out what to add to our registry.  Our wedding is on the small and intimate side.  I read somewhere you should have a variety of things and it should be larger than your guest list.  I don't know what we should do.  Is it okay to just have a few things and leave it up to our guest to decied if they get something from the list, choose something themselves or get us nothing at all?



    Agree with AddieCake. Also, just because someone doesn't get you something from the registry does not mean they won't get you anything. A lot of people take a small registry (or no registry) to mean that you would like cash and will therefore give you that. 

    We had a small registry (and wedding) also.  We had enough things on it for the shower, but almost everybody gave cash at the wedding.  
    How small was your guest list?
  • justsie said:
    This may sound like a crazy thing but we're having trouble figuring out what to add to our registry.  Our wedding is on the small and intimate side.  I read somewhere you should have a variety of things and it should be larger than your guest list.  I don't know what we should do.  Is it okay to just have a few things and leave it up to our guest to decied if they get something from the list, choose something themselves or get us nothing at all?


    Agree with AddieCake. Also, just because someone doesn't get you something from the registry does not mean they won't get you anything. A lot of people take a small registry (or no registry) to mean that you would like cash and will therefore give you that. 
    We had a small registry (and wedding) also.  We had enough things on it for the shower, but almost everybody gave cash at the wedding.  
    How small was your guest list?
    16.  We had parents, grandparents, and siblings only.  There were 7 at my shower (I think).  
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  • I thought about my favorite recipes and got things I would need to make them, like a large stock pot for the turkey soup my mom makes after Thanksgiving, good knives and a pan for apple crisp, etc.

    We also used it to upgrade all the crappy stuff from college: towels, lamps, silverware, glasses, mixing bowls, dishes etc. It's nice having things that match and are new. 

    Also we included a bunch of random items, like a can opener and storage stuff for the apartment. Those were some of the first things to go, honestly. 
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  • I would say just add whatever you want with varying prices and people will buy what they want to buy. Just because your guest list is small doesn't mean you need a small registry. Plus, most places will give you a percentage off of whatever is left on your list.
  • For a while, my fiance and I had a "registry list" on our fridge. Every time we missed something or grumbled about having the cheap version we bought in college, we added that thing to the list. It gave us a good idea of where to start when we registered.

    Of course, that works best in a situation like ours, where we haven't lived anywhere but with family or in dorms until now.
    aurianna
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    I agree not to put items on a registry "just because", or because the store tells you for every X guests you should have Y gifts. But, a registry is a great place to upgrade items. Those buying you a gift generally want to give you something good quality that is going to last you many years into your marriage. Obviously know your crowd, and many price points are good, but don't be afraid to put something "nice" on there.

    A registry is also only a suggestion, listing things that would work well in your home. You don't have to broadcast your registry (you could tell only those who ask). A smaller registry is fine too- people will either give you cash or buy you something they want you to have.

    We had a decent size registry (we were mostly excited for the store discount event that you get afterwards versus expecting our guests to buy us stuff from the registry), but still got mainly cash and had a few friends buy us gifts not on the registry (which were also great).

    But some ideas: Upgrade towels, sheets, pillows, comforter set.
    Upgrade kitchen utensils- either big serving utensils, or your eating utensils. Knives are nice. Serve-ware. Bake-ware (cookie sheet, loaf pan, cake pan, pie plate). I REALLY like our Corningware set- you can cook with it in the stove or microwave, serve in it because it's pretty, or change the lid and store stuff in the freezer!
    Hand mixer.
    Blender (we have the Ninja with attachments for individual smoothie cups- love it!).
    Tea/ coffee pot.
    Glassware- drinking glasses, wine glasses, beer glasses, shot glasses (whatever you drink or would serve in your home). Glass water pitcher. Drink dispenser.
    If you're big into backyard parties, you could also get a set of dishes/glasses/utensils for the backyard.
    Great idea about thinking what you'd need for a family holiday dinner.
    Bathroom sets- shower curtain(s), bath mat, trash pail, soap dish, etc all in a matching design

    We upgraded A LOT, but we also just came out of school where most of our stuff was either used or came from Walmart or the dollar store. Our nice stuff came from Canadian Tire ;) (and it was the cheapest we could find).
  • We ended up adding camping accessories to ours. We requested a tent before the bridal shower, and got it, then realized, oh, we probably need more than just a tent. So we've now registered for sleeping bags, an air mattress, an outdoor lantern, and some other outdoor accessories we could use for camping or backyard BBQs (when we have a backyard). 

    And honestly, both our registries were literally sold out after the shower (we were trying to keep it small, kept it too small I guess), so we had to start from scratch. We don't have a lot of space right now but hope to get a bigger place after the wedding, so we've been walking that fine line of asking for stuff we know we'll want/need, but holding off on some of the bigger items since we don't have space.
  • My fiancé and I started our registries however we've been living together for a while now so we mostly have items that we've been meaning to buy (like picture frames, bed sheets, and pillows) and will be going through and adding upgrades at a later date. In this way, there's a decent range of items that people could get us, if they wanted, but aren't obliged too since they are aware of our situation. 
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  • A registry is for stuff you need.  Register for things you both need. I am of the belief that it should be household-related items, so we registered for pots and pans, dishes, bowls, silverware, a vacuum, knives, new bedding, towels, kitchen gadgets we didn't have and needed, juice glasses, barware etc.  Stuff you need. And if you don't need anything, then don't register and people will get you things on their own (and they will do this regardless of a registry because a registry is really just a list of suggestions).

    Good luck! It's actually pretty fun!
  • As long as there are still plenty of items on your registry, are there any big ticket items that you'd love? Sometimes some families like to do a joint gift so putting a couple of big items is ok IMO. Our major big ticket item was a kitchen aid professional stand mixer. I <3 it. Personally I wouldn't side-eye a BBQ grill or smoker under $500 if that's something you'd use and don't have.

    I [personally] hate when people put video game systems and audio/visual equipment on their registries, but in general I'm cool with various items good for entertaining:

    Party board games
    Lawn games
    BBQ equipment
    AIr Mattress for guests
    Reasonably priced patio furniture & accessories (umbrella, deck storage box)

    Also smaller tools, sporting and camping equipment I don't mind seeing on a registry as long as it isn't the bulk of the registry. I have weird hangups.


    But it's super hard to go wrong with linens and towels. They can always be put to use and you go through them quickly.

    Another thing to think of... good storage boxes. We registered for our china, but also storage for the china. And we have special storage for our christmas ornaments, and have gone through and replaced most of our cardboard boxes with good tubs. Not glamorous, but very useful in the home.
  • marie2785marie2785
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    edited July 2015
    I'm a fan of figuring out what you need. FI and I lived together a few months before we registered. During this time we hosted a bunch of parties, and realized we have NOTHING to serve food on. It was awful and at times a little embarrassing. So our registry is 80% serve ware (serving dishes, platters, chip and dip, cake stand, cheese dome, espresso cups/saucers, wine glasses), 10% fancy cookware, and 10% kitchen electronics (mix of expensive, and $50-$100 items). We skipped sheets and towels since we're both really picky about those, and didn't like the ones offered by the places we registered. My parents are giving us their wedding china, so we have that as well coming our way which will help ALOT as well for hosting parties, since our current china is Christmas themed. 

    For our shower we got most of the serve-ware, and some small electronics (griddle and juicer. OMG I'm excited). I'm pretty sure we're all set on serve-ware finally, so we're not adding anything to the registry, and just hoping for cash as a wedding present. 
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