Wedding Party

children in wedding

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Re: children in wedding

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited July 2015
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    banana468 said:
    But Jen, by that note, the couple needs to respect that they could ask ONE girl and ONE boy to be in the wedding and the parents may say no.   You're creating A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here.

    I do agree that neither kids nor their parents should expect to be invited to be in every wedding but when they are, it *can* work without needing to hire Frank and Howard as wedding planners. 


    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    You're not?  Who said this then?


    Jen4948 said:

    All the things you have in purple assume that everyone is okay with the kids being part of the wedding.  But, even in families where that's "expected," sometimes not everyone is okay with it.  The couple may be pressured into agreeing to it rather than asking for the kids' participation.  Or even if the couple wants it, the kids and/or their parents don't.  What I'm asking is, do all these people who "expect" all the kids to participate back off gracefully if one or more of the parties involved refuse to do it, or do they get pissy and keep "expecting" and "insisting" on it until they give in and do it grudgingly?  What if you have a situation where one side "expects" it and the other side opposes it?

    Those are all hypotheticals.  and this statement in and of itself is a hypothetical:

    Jen4948 said:
    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    That's you assuming the hypothetical situation that other people expect their kids to be in someone's wedding.

    What is it with you and kids in weddings?  It seems to be a trigger topic for you. 

    Did your parents expect for you to be in someone's wedding when you were younger, guilt the bride and groom into including you, make you walk down the aisle against your will, and then refuse to take you to the reception?

    It's none of your business.  Why does everyone have to be a fan of kids in weddings for you? 

    Wait, don't answer.  It's none of my business.

    Quit snarking at me because I'm not a fan of the idea.  Nobody has to be.

    There is a difference between not being a fan of the idea and trying to build a ridiculous argument against it because you hate kids being in weddings.

    Am I a fan of a lot of kids in weddings?  No, but it isn't my wedding and the OP wants the kids in her wedding.  So Bananas suggestion makes sense.
    Maggie, I have never said that I hate kids being in weddings.  I merely am not a fan of the idea.  PrettyGirlLost suggested that I hate it.  I do not.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    banana468 said:
    But Jen, by that note, the couple needs to respect that they could ask ONE girl and ONE boy to be in the wedding and the parents may say no.   You're creating A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here.

    I do agree that neither kids nor their parents should expect to be invited to be in every wedding but when they are, it *can* work without needing to hire Frank and Howard as wedding planners. 


    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    You're not?  Who said this then?


    Jen4948 said:

    All the things you have in purple assume that everyone is okay with the kids being part of the wedding.  But, even in families where that's "expected," sometimes not everyone is okay with it.  The couple may be pressured into agreeing to it rather than asking for the kids' participation.  Or even if the couple wants it, the kids and/or their parents don't.  What I'm asking is, do all these people who "expect" all the kids to participate back off gracefully if one or more of the parties involved refuse to do it, or do they get pissy and keep "expecting" and "insisting" on it until they give in and do it grudgingly?  What if you have a situation where one side "expects" it and the other side opposes it?

    Those are all hypotheticals.  and this statement in and of itself is a hypothetical:

    Jen4948 said:
    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    That's you assuming the hypothetical situation that other people expect their kids to be in someone's wedding.

    What is it with you and kids in weddings?  It seems to be a trigger topic for you. 

    Did your parents expect for you to be in someone's wedding when you were younger, guilt the bride and groom into including you, make you walk down the aisle against your will, and then refuse to take you to the reception?

    It's none of your business.  Why does everyone have to be a fan of kids in weddings for you?  LMFAO!  I don't think people need to include kids in weddings at all- never once have I said that.  But if an OP asks how can she/he include kids in their wedding, I'm going to respond accordingly.

    Wait, don't answer.  It's none of my business.

    Quit snarking at me because I'm not a fan of the idea.  Nobody has to be.

    I'm snarking at you because your reactions to threads involving kids and weddings are always a bit extreme.  Not because you don't like kids at weddings- I typically don't either.



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    banana468 said:
    But Jen, by that note, the couple needs to respect that they could ask ONE girl and ONE boy to be in the wedding and the parents may say no.   You're creating A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here.

    I do agree that neither kids nor their parents should expect to be invited to be in every wedding but when they are, it *can* work without needing to hire Frank and Howard as wedding planners. 


    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    You're not?  Who said this then?


    Jen4948 said:

    All the things you have in purple assume that everyone is okay with the kids being part of the wedding.  But, even in families where that's "expected," sometimes not everyone is okay with it.  The couple may be pressured into agreeing to it rather than asking for the kids' participation.  Or even if the couple wants it, the kids and/or their parents don't.  What I'm asking is, do all these people who "expect" all the kids to participate back off gracefully if one or more of the parties involved refuse to do it, or do they get pissy and keep "expecting" and "insisting" on it until they give in and do it grudgingly?  What if you have a situation where one side "expects" it and the other side opposes it?

    Those are all hypotheticals.  and this statement in and of itself is a hypothetical:

    Jen4948 said:
    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    That's you assuming the hypothetical situation that other people expect their kids to be in someone's wedding.

    What is it with you and kids in weddings?  It seems to be a trigger topic for you. 

    Did your parents expect for you to be in someone's wedding when you were younger, guilt the bride and groom into including you, make you walk down the aisle against your will, and then refuse to take you to the reception?

    It's none of your business.  Why does everyone have to be a fan of kids in weddings for you? 

    Wait, don't answer.  It's none of my business.

    Quit snarking at me because I'm not a fan of the idea.  Nobody has to be.

    There is a difference between not being a fan of the idea and trying to build a ridiculous argument against it because you hate kids being in weddings.

    Am I a fan of a lot of kids in weddings?  No, but it isn't my wedding and the OP wants the kids in her wedding.  So Bananas suggestion makes sense.
    Maggie, I have never said that I hate kids being in weddings.  I merely am not a fan of the idea.  PrettyGirlLost suggested that I hate it.  I do not.
    You don't have to actually say the words for people to get the gist of what you truly think.  I mean, it is pretty darn obvious.

    PrettyGirlLostLabLove86Cookie Pusher
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    banana468 said:
    But Jen, by that note, the couple needs to respect that they could ask ONE girl and ONE boy to be in the wedding and the parents may say no.   You're creating A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here.

    I do agree that neither kids nor their parents should expect to be invited to be in every wedding but when they are, it *can* work without needing to hire Frank and Howard as wedding planners. 


    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    You're not?  Who said this then?


    Jen4948 said:

    All the things you have in purple assume that everyone is okay with the kids being part of the wedding.  But, even in families where that's "expected," sometimes not everyone is okay with it.  The couple may be pressured into agreeing to it rather than asking for the kids' participation.  Or even if the couple wants it, the kids and/or their parents don't.  What I'm asking is, do all these people who "expect" all the kids to participate back off gracefully if one or more of the parties involved refuse to do it, or do they get pissy and keep "expecting" and "insisting" on it until they give in and do it grudgingly?  What if you have a situation where one side "expects" it and the other side opposes it?

    Those are all hypotheticals.  and this statement in and of itself is a hypothetical:

    Jen4948 said:
    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    That's you assuming the hypothetical situation that other people expect their kids to be in someone's wedding.

    What is it with you and kids in weddings?  It seems to be a trigger topic for you. 

    Did your parents expect for you to be in someone's wedding when you were younger, guilt the bride and groom into including you, make you walk down the aisle against your will, and then refuse to take you to the reception?

    It's none of your business.  Why does everyone have to be a fan of kids in weddings for you? 

    Wait, don't answer.  It's none of my business.

    Quit snarking at me because I'm not a fan of the idea.  Nobody has to be.

    There is a difference between not being a fan of the idea and trying to build a ridiculous argument against it because you hate kids being in weddings.

    Am I a fan of a lot of kids in weddings?  No, but it isn't my wedding and the OP wants the kids in her wedding.  So Bananas suggestion makes sense.
    Maggie, I have never said that I hate kids being in weddings.  I merely am not a fan of the idea.  PrettyGirlLost suggested that I hate it.  I do not.
    No, I suggested that it's a topic that triggers some form of PTSD for you. . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    lyndausviCookie Pusherkmmssg
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    banana468 said:
    But Jen, by that note, the couple needs to respect that they could ask ONE girl and ONE boy to be in the wedding and the parents may say no.   You're creating A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here.

    I do agree that neither kids nor their parents should expect to be invited to be in every wedding but when they are, it *can* work without needing to hire Frank and Howard as wedding planners. 


    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    You're not?  Who said this then?


    Jen4948 said:

    All the things you have in purple assume that everyone is okay with the kids being part of the wedding.  But, even in families where that's "expected," sometimes not everyone is okay with it.  The couple may be pressured into agreeing to it rather than asking for the kids' participation.  Or even if the couple wants it, the kids and/or their parents don't.  What I'm asking is, do all these people who "expect" all the kids to participate back off gracefully if one or more of the parties involved refuse to do it, or do they get pissy and keep "expecting" and "insisting" on it until they give in and do it grudgingly?  What if you have a situation where one side "expects" it and the other side opposes it?

    Those are all hypotheticals.  and this statement in and of itself is a hypothetical:

    Jen4948 said:
    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    That's you assuming the hypothetical situation that other people expect their kids to be in someone's wedding.

    What is it with you and kids in weddings?  It seems to be a trigger topic for you. 

    Did your parents expect for you to be in someone's wedding when you were younger, guilt the bride and groom into including you, make you walk down the aisle against your will, and then refuse to take you to the reception?

    It's none of your business.  Why does everyone have to be a fan of kids in weddings for you? 

    Wait, don't answer.  It's none of my business.

    Quit snarking at me because I'm not a fan of the idea.  Nobody has to be.

    There is a difference between not being a fan of the idea and trying to build a ridiculous argument against it because you hate kids being in weddings.

    Am I a fan of a lot of kids in weddings?  No, but it isn't my wedding and the OP wants the kids in her wedding.  So Bananas suggestion makes sense.
    Maggie, I have never said that I hate kids being in weddings.  I merely am not a fan of the idea.  PrettyGirlLost suggested that I hate it.  I do not.
    You don't have to actually say the words for people to get the gist of what you truly think.  I mean, it is pretty darn obvious.
    I am not required to like kids being in weddings.  So fucking what if I don't (which, BTW, is not the case)?  There are things you don't like, there are things Banana, PrettyGirlLost, and every other person in this forum doesn't like.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't have to actually say the words for people to get the gist of what you truly think.  I mean, it is pretty darn obvious.
    I am not required to like kids being in weddings.  So fucking what if I don't (which, BTW, is not the case)?  There are things you don't like, there are things Banana, PrettyGirlLost, and every other person in this forum doesn't like.
    Personally I can't stand cash bars, gaps, tuxes before 6pm, burlap and lace, or camo mixed with french provincial decor.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    lyndausvi
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    banana468 said:
    But Jen, by that note, the couple needs to respect that they could ask ONE girl and ONE boy to be in the wedding and the parents may say no.   You're creating A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here.

    I do agree that neither kids nor their parents should expect to be invited to be in every wedding but when they are, it *can* work without needing to hire Frank and Howard as wedding planners. 


    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    You're not?  Who said this then?


    Jen4948 said:

    All the things you have in purple assume that everyone is okay with the kids being part of the wedding.  But, even in families where that's "expected," sometimes not everyone is okay with it.  The couple may be pressured into agreeing to it rather than asking for the kids' participation.  Or even if the couple wants it, the kids and/or their parents don't.  What I'm asking is, do all these people who "expect" all the kids to participate back off gracefully if one or more of the parties involved refuse to do it, or do they get pissy and keep "expecting" and "insisting" on it until they give in and do it grudgingly?  What if you have a situation where one side "expects" it and the other side opposes it?

    Those are all hypotheticals.  and this statement in and of itself is a hypothetical:

    Jen4948 said:
    I never suggested otherwise.  I'm not the one creating "A metric fuckton of hypotheticals here."  I think having such expectations gives rise to the "metric fuckton of hypotheticals" that could arise from having every single fucking kid on both sides of the family in the wedding party.
    That's you assuming the hypothetical situation that other people expect their kids to be in someone's wedding.

    What is it with you and kids in weddings?  It seems to be a trigger topic for you. 

    Did your parents expect for you to be in someone's wedding when you were younger, guilt the bride and groom into including you, make you walk down the aisle against your will, and then refuse to take you to the reception?

    It's none of your business.  Why does everyone have to be a fan of kids in weddings for you? 

    Wait, don't answer.  It's none of my business.

    Quit snarking at me because I'm not a fan of the idea.  Nobody has to be.

    There is a difference between not being a fan of the idea and trying to build a ridiculous argument against it because you hate kids being in weddings.

    Am I a fan of a lot of kids in weddings?  No, but it isn't my wedding and the OP wants the kids in her wedding.  So Bananas suggestion makes sense.
    Maggie, I have never said that I hate kids being in weddings.  I merely am not a fan of the idea.  PrettyGirlLost suggested that I hate it.  I do not.
    You don't have to actually say the words for people to get the gist of what you truly think.  I mean, it is pretty darn obvious.
    I am not required to like kids being in weddings.  So fucking what if I don't (which, BTW, is not the case)?  There are things you don't like, there are things Banana, PrettyGirlLost, and every other person in this forum doesn't like.
    I never said that you had to like it.  But you are forming ridiculous arguments against a pretty acceptable solution by Bananas to an OP who WANTS kids in her wedding.

    And yeah there are things I don't like, but I also don't fight tooth and nail on things that have zero effect on me, such as kids in weddings.

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Children in weddings are only acceptable if and only if:

    The parents fully agree to the children being involved. They take full responsibility for the expenses and any/all expenses that may be incurred.

    The parents agree that their children that are participating will be attending the reception regardless of bedtime or other commitment. Simply because it's poor form to attend the ceremony and not the reception. Bedtime be damned. Take a damn nap, kid. But not on my time.

    They can manage themselves. If you cannot wipe your ass, be gone with you.

    You cannot locate rabid monkeys to fling poo down the aisle before you. Because let's face it, kids = rabid monkeys flinging poo. Kids are just the next best thing. Or visa versa.

    ... Right, Jen?

    image
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2015
    OP how many is a lot of kids?  But if you want these kids in your wedding then Banana's idea seems to be the best way to go about it.  All you are doing is asking the kids (and parents) if they want to be a part of your wedding.  Then it is up the parents and kids to decide if they want to be in it or not.

    I am not really sure why Banana's suggestion was made into this huge thing.  It was a perfectly acceptable suggestion.  
    Because clearly
    image

    Jen is it raining where you are?

     Because no one is allowed to question Jen when she has bad weather and cant go to work.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    banana468
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    KatWAG said:
    OP how many is a lot of kids?  But if you want these kids in your wedding then Banana's idea seems to be the best way to go about it.  All you are doing is asking the kids (and parents) if they want to be a part of your wedding.  Then it is up the parents and kids to decide if they want to be in it or not.

    I am not really sure why Banana's suggestion was made into this huge thing.  It was a perfectly acceptable suggestion.  
    Because clearly
    image

    Jen is it raining where you are?

     Because no one is allowed to question Jen when she has bad weather and cant go to work.


    No, the sun is out and I'm at work.


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    KatWAG said:
    OP how many is a lot of kids?  But if you want these kids in your wedding then Banana's idea seems to be the best way to go about it.  All you are doing is asking the kids (and parents) if they want to be a part of your wedding.  Then it is up the parents and kids to decide if they want to be in it or not.

    I am not really sure why Banana's suggestion was made into this huge thing.  It was a perfectly acceptable suggestion.  
    Because clearly
    image

    Jen is it raining where you are?

     Because no one is allowed to question Jen when she has bad weather and cant go to work.


    No, the sun is out and I'm at work.


    I'm jealous of your ability to see the sun from work.  I work in a lab. . . in a basement :*(

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Jen4948 said:
    KatWAG said:
    OP how many is a lot of kids?  But if you want these kids in your wedding then Banana's idea seems to be the best way to go about it.  All you are doing is asking the kids (and parents) if they want to be a part of your wedding.  Then it is up the parents and kids to decide if they want to be in it or not.

    I am not really sure why Banana's suggestion was made into this huge thing.  It was a perfectly acceptable suggestion.  
    Because clearly
    image

    Jen is it raining where you are?

     Because no one is allowed to question Jen when she has bad weather and cant go to work.


    No, the sun is out and I'm at work.


    I'm jealous of your ability to see the sun from work.  I work in a lab. . . in a basement :*(
    DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR JOB!
    PrettyGirlLost
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