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Budget Weddings

How is $10,000 not enough?!

My wedding is simple and rustic (a theme that is very popular and inexpensive). The only thing I have set in stone right now (other than the overall look I'm going for, of course) is my venue, which I thought I found a good deal on. $2,850, and the venue is mine from 8am to midnight with tables, chairs, and a sound system all included and with my choice of vendors. The place is gorgeous.

The problem is, as I began my search for vendor pricing, I began to realize how quickly it all adds up. With the caterers, bartenders, hairstylists, photographers...I've already eaten up most of my budget, and that's after making cuts in what I originally wanted (like for the hairstylists to do my BM's hair, of which I only have two).

And, yes, I am making a thorough search for the best prices available, not only using TheKnot, but also Yelp and other vendor search engines. However, in some cases, I wonder if what I'm giving up in price, I'm also giving up in quality.

I searched online for other brides who accomplished this task and most of them admitted they had a family member or friend who was willing to give them a discount or even do it for free. Unfortunately, I have no such connections, and everything is coming out of my own pocket.
 
My fiancee thinks that $10,000 should be more than enough, maybe even too much for a wedding. I'd love to have the gorgeous wedding of my dreams, no matter how long it takes me to save up to do so, but the fact is, it's just not realistic.

So, what do you think? Where are the easiest places to cut costs? How can I have my dream wedding without the headache of hiring some crappy DJ off the street for $50 an hour? lol

- Kayla

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Re: How is $10,000 not enough?!

  • It really depends on what you are willing to cut out or on and how many people you plan on inviting. My budget is the same and we're planning on 100 to 120 people. For me im cutting out flowers or going with just something simple and cheap like babys breath. Im not a flower person and an item like that doesn't (in my mind) effect the quality of the wedding. My big factors are food, alcohol and venue. Food and drink are the only places I won't cut as those to me are most important Things like favors can be cut because most people don't take them or toss them unless its a food item. Invites can be done cheaper as craft stores have kits that you can diy. You have to decided whats best for your guests and go from there.
    Viczaesar[Deleted User]peachy13
  • bb2016bb2016 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    How large is your guest list? Remember you should account at least 50% of your budget for the reception. We are trying to stay around $12,000 for all of the big ticket items (Venue, dress, photography, food, alcohol, cake, DJ, flowers) except the honeymoon. Our venue costs ~$7000.00. That includes tables, chairs, linens, set up, take down, staff, alcohol, catering, the cake, the DJ, tax, and tip. We will have 100-120 guests. 

    It is ridiculous how fast it goes! It helps me to step back and look at the big picture, realize that it is only 1 day, most people will not be paying attention to every detail and they just want to have a place to sit and good food. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Knottie1438895452
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Our wedding was about $12,000. One thing we did that helped keep costs down was have a daytime wedding, and we served mimosas and no other alcohol except wine for the toast (that was a waste of money in hindsight). Alcohol is expensive and can add up quickly. You could have a dry wedding any time of day.  

     What time is your wedding? Depending on the time of day, you can get away with not having a full meal. There are also inexpensive options like pasta. 

    Skip things like monogrammed napkins, special toasting flutes, favors, limo, programs. None of those are necessary, and they all add up. Vistaprint is a great inexpensive option for invitations. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    CMonroe329
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    My wedding is simple and rustic (a theme that is very popular and inexpensive). The only thing I have set in stone right now (other than the overall look I'm going for, of course) is my venue, which I thought I found a good deal on. $2,850, and the venue is mine from 8am to midnight with tables, chairs, and a sound system all included and with my choice of vendors. The place is gorgeous.

    The problem is, as I began my search for vendor pricing, I began to realize how quickly it all adds up. With the caterers, bartenders, hairstylists, photographers...I've already eaten up most of my budget, and that's after making cuts in what I originally wanted (like for the hairstylists to do my BM's hair, of which I only have two).

    And, yes, I am making a thorough search for the best prices available, not only using TheKnot, but also Yelp and other vendor search engines. However, in some cases, I wonder if what I'm giving up in price, I'm also giving up in quality.

    I searched online for other brides who accomplished this task and most of them admitted they had a family member or friend who was willing to give them a discount or even do it for free. Unfortunately, I have no such connections, and everything is coming out of my own pocket.
     
    My fiancee thinks that $10,000 should be more than enough, maybe even too much for a wedding. I'd love to have the gorgeous wedding of my dreams, no matter how long it takes me to save up to do so, but the fact is, it's just not realistic.

    So, what do you think? Where are the easiest places to cut costs? How can I have my dream wedding without the headache of hiring some crappy DJ off the street for $50 an hour? lol

    - Kayla
    Have you already made the deposit for your wedding venue?  Is the time set in stone?

    Evening weddings are the most expensive.  They cost twice what a daytime/afternoon wedding costs.
    Alcohol is not necessary.  If you want to have it, keep it to beer and wine.
    Cut your guest list, but remember - everyone who got an STD MUST be invited.
    Skip the DJ and play music you selected from an IPOD.
    Make Vistaprint your friend.  Nice designs for invitations and not expensive.  Check the wording with the invitations board before you order.
    Have you selected your bridesmaids yet?  If you haven't, the fewer, the better. 
    Have you chosen your dress yet?  There are many ways to save here.  Ordering direct from China isn't one of them, though!  Don't do that!
    Nobody really cares about centerpieces and decorations.  Food - now THAT is important!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]kimmiinthemitten100yroldblinddog
  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    $10k is most definitely enough. We saved money by having a short reception (4 hours was plenty of time for us) and serving only beer and wine that we bought at costco. I did all the flowers myself to cut the cost of a florist and it wasn't too hard. My BMs were happy to do their own hair and makeup. I didn't want an expensive dress, found one on clearance. Didn't need fancy invitations either, since our wedding was fairly casual.

    Honestly, to save money you have to shop around. I get that you love this particular venue, but check out a few others that meet your criteria and see how they price compare. The TK local boards are good for finding vendors (I don't recommend the Vendors section - this is paid advertising) and Wedding Wire local boards have good recommendations too (just please don't ask for etiquette advice there).

    Sit down with your FI and make a list of what things are most important to each of you. Start with the things you agree are least important and figure out how to cut there.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker



    [Deleted User]DizzyRaezitiqueen
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    OP, here is the way to plan a wedding:

    1.  Set budget - $10,000
    2.  Draw up guest list
    3.  Decide what time of day you will have your wedding.  Mid afternoon with cake and punch is the cheapest.  Evening with dinner is the most expensive.

    Now, after you have done this, you find a venue that meets all three requirements!

    You are doing it backwards.  You fell in love with a venue that you might not be able to afford.  People are more important than pretty venues.  We can give you hints on how to save, like cutting alcohol, but if you are determined to try and shoehorn your guest list and budget into a venue that is too expensive, you are giving yourself a lot of stress.  Think carefully about your priorities.  Will Aunt Margaret understand that your pretty venue was more important to you than inviting her to your wedding?

    Generally your guests will care about comfort (climate control and a chair for every butt), and food more than anything else.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Knottie1447816756
  • I think PPs have covered the question of how to plan pretty thoroughly, so I'll just add some tips for when you jump into the planning:

    We're having a wedding for about 100 people which we expect come in around $10K depending on RSVPs -- so, not completely impossible. We are in Central MA to give you geographic context. 

    "Freebies" disclaimer: - My parents are buying the dress. One of my BMs is paying for my hair and makeup as her wedding gift. Otherwise I would have done my own hair and chosen a much cheaper dress. I don't have a formal design background but I'm comfortable enough on the computer that I didn't have to buy templates from Etsy or anything. 

    Your venue sounds a bit more expensive than ours, which unfortunately could be part of the problem. Space fee for our chapel is $500 and reception venue is costing us $250. This cost includes the basic setup for both spaces -- furniture etc. 

    Places where we cut back: 

    - Flowers: Not really doing them. I got a beautiful silk bouquet from Alforal.com for $20, DIYed the BMs using materials I bought at Joann's and Michaels. Bouts and corsages we'll do real, but not anything very fancy. We are not doing floral arrangements for the chapel. 

    - Centerpieces: We're using sand, candles and hurricane vases for centerpieces, which is costing us about $12 a centerpiece. 

    - Stationery: We did not do paper STDs, We bought invitation kits at Party City to print ourselves, 100 for about $80, and we can use the leftover stationery from those sets for our thank-yous. We'll be printing our own programs, table signs, and escort cards. 

    - Favors: On the advice of our venue, we skipped them. 

    - Alcohol: Our families would never have accepted a dry wedding, so we're doing it (and open), but we are limiting to beer and wine.

    - Bridal party: As much because out of organizational laziness as anything else, the only thing consistent for the BMs is the dresses (which they chose and bought). I am staying out of and thus not paying for hair/makeup, shoes, jewelry, etc. 

    - Other things: We are skipping a honeymoon this year and just doing one night at a hotel. We are also not doing candy tables, photo booths, or various other things that tend to be super trendy and expensive. 

    We did get very lucky with our vendors. We didn't end up with my first-choice photographer for instance, but we found a professional we really liked for 1/3 of the cost. 
    CMGragain[Deleted User]Knottie1446872066
  • @primafaba15, when I was married so many years ago, we didn't have a big honeymoon, either.  We never regretted it.  Now that we have been married 39 years, we have traveled all over the world.  It was definitely worth the wait!  Good luck and best wishes to you!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    YogaSandy
  • kvrunskvruns member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    How big is the guest list?

    Alcohol - beer and wine vs full bar can save money.  Bonus if you can return unopened product to Costco or Sam's (may not work if the vendor requires the catering company to do the bar)

    Food - restaurant may be able to cater cheaper than a catering company but also be aware of what you get for the $$. Do they supply table wear, napkins, etc, are some drinks included, is an additional dessert included.

    Can you choose a cheaper day or time? We had a small wedding and the biggest thing was that Saturdays, and especially Saturday evening, had minimums set on 150 people for most things (venue cost, catering, etc). We were planning 75 or fewer so we did a Friday night wedding since I didn't want to pay for 75+ people who weren't even there because that is what the minimum was.

    Knottie1446872066
  • Guest list is going to be the easiest way to cut costs but make sure you check with what minimums your venue has. If you're close to the minimum talk to you venue, our venue had a minimum of 50 guests and I expressed concern since we only had like 52 people on the invite list and were pretty sure that at least 4 of them wouldn't be able to make it so they dropped it to 40 for us. 

    I'm not sure what day you are planning but Saturday night will be the most expensive. Typically Friday nights or Sunday afternoons/evenings will be cheaper. We are doing a Monday wedding and it is literally half the price of a Saturday wedding. Now keep in mind there's a reason Saturdays are most popular, it is most convenient for guests so you will most likely get higher decline rates with an off day. 

    With food breakfast tends to be a cheaper option but that doesn't mean you need to have it at brunch time. My FSIL had buffet style breakfast at dinner time and it was amazing! 

    Flowers are super expensive. PPs have covered some options like buying in bulk and doing them yourselves. You could skip them altogether though. Use candles for centerpieces, carry something non-floral down the aisle. Maybe you have a bouquet and give each of your Bridesmaids a single flower. Whatever you do you can pull it off to look very nice and no-one will miss the gigantic floral centerpieces.

    Those are a few ideas there are so many ways to save though I agree it's hard and stuff adds up quick. What we did was made a list of our top items and those we splurged on, then we made the rest fit. (Disclaimer: make sure your guest's comfort is considered in this, obviously it's not OK to say I want an expensive dress so I won't rent chairs or something, that's ridiculous. But you don't need an open bar with top shelf liquor and a 5 course dinner or anything, sodas and water and a breakfast buffet are great.) 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Thank you for your suggestions, I greatly appreciate them! :)

  • GeekyBride87GeekyBride87 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited July 2015
    Ugh, I'm one of those people who have really lucked out. One friend is a photographer and another is a hairdresser. I'm a manager at a local coffee shop so I get all the non alcoholic beverages at a severe discount. They are even doing the groom's cake for free and we are throwing a rehearsal "tea" there the morning before. And one of our groomsmen has a port a potty. Still everything is going to cost over $5000.

    You've gotten good advice so far... But I'm going to throw in some ideas.

    Forget the flowers if you don't need them. Most people I know who have gotten married said that the flowers were one of the most expensive things. No one cares and they just die. My bouquet is paper roses made out of "Gone with the Wind" because it's my favorite book. I got it off etsy for $36. You can do paper flowers or go completely non-traditional and come up with something unique! Personalize the hell out of it!

    I only have 12 tables so I made my centerpieces out of painted wine bottles and old china sets from thrift stores. I'm buying a dozen roses and sticking a rose in each wine bottle. I'm going for a mad hatter tea party feel so everything is from thrift stores and is mismatched. We've had a reeealy long engagement so I've been collecting for a while.

    There are tons of websites where brides are selling used wedding decor and bridal accessories. They even have great websites for used wedding dresses!

    I don't know how long you have, but we bought a bunch of decor at after Christmas sales. Lights are super cheap then and we also bought glittered branches, bows, etc... Anything in neutral colors.

    Amazon also has cheaper craft supply options then craft stores and there are great craft supply sites too that offer things at a great price or on clearance. And I've made great use of tea stained book pages or coffee filters for decor as well. But only if you like to do crafts! Otherwise you'll hate all the work.


    Etsy can be your friend. Everything that I've ordered has been super cheap and has come really fast.

    Have your fiance wear a suit instead of a tux. We got my fiance`s suit tailor made for about $200. Go casual on the attire. I personally love the casual groom / groomsmen look.

    Post something on craigslist or at a local college looking for a student photographer. My photographer friend did a couple of weddings while she was in college. Just make sure to see their work first. (Maybe have them do some Std pics first) And make sure to have a contract.

    If you have a beauty school near you then you can do the same for your hairdresser. But please do a trial run and get a contract! :-)

    Are you having the ceremony at 8 pm? You could probably get away with doing a dessert reception with some finger foods. Most people will have eaten dinner by 8 pm. Just make sure to word this correctly on the invitation.

    Yes, get an ipod for the music. I'm pretty picky when it comes to music so that's what we are doing.

    Keep scouting for a caterer. I'm having our food done by a local restaurant that also does catering. They are usually cheaper than a place that only does catering.

    I rented six 4 gallon drink dispensers and will do premixed cocktails. This allows me to use cheap alcohol because it will be mixed with juice / soda / frozen fruit. One of my favorites is a vodka lavender blackberry lemonade!

    Don't pay a catering company for non alcoholic drinks! You can get them so much cheaper yourself. We are doing hot chocolate in a cockpot with flavored syrup they can add. ( You can buy syrups for hot chocolate or lemonade or cocktails to make it more fancy online, from a local coffee shop, Wal-Mart, etc.) You can make your own iced tea. We are doing sweet tea and a blueberry hibiscus!

    We are doing cupcakes instead of a wedding cake. This has been cheaper by far!

    Don't despair yet! Small budgets just mean you might have to get more creative. :-)
    Knottie1447816756Knottie1446872066bridetobe26-2
  • kvrunskvruns member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh, I'm one of those people who have really lucked out. One friend is a photographer and another is a hairdresser. I'm a manager at a local coffee shop so I get all the non alcoholic beverages at a severe discount. They are even doing the groom's cake for free and we are throwing a rehearsal "tea" there the morning before. And one of our groomsmen has a port a potty. Still everything is going to cost over $5000. You've gotten good advice so far... But I'm going to throw in some ideas. Forget the flowers if you don't need them. Most people I know who have gotten married said that the flowers were one of the most expensive things. No one cares and they just die. My bouquet is paper roses made out of "Gone with the Wind" because it's my favorite book. I got it off etsy for $36. You can do paper flowers or go completely non-traditional and come up with something unique! Personalize the hell out of it! I only have 12 tables so I made my centerpieces out of painted wine bottles and old china sets from thrift stores. I'm buying a dozen roses and sticking a rose in each wine bottle. I'm going for a mad hatter tea party feel so everything is from thrift stores and is mismatched. We've had a reeealy long engagement so I've been collecting for a while. There are tons of websites where brides are selling used wedding decor and bridal accessories. They even have great websites for used wedding dresses! I don't know how long you have, but we bought a bunch of decor at after Christmas sales. Lights are super cheap then and we also bought glittered branches, bows, etc... Anything in neutral colors. Amazon also has cheaper craft supply options then craft stores and there are great craft supply sites too that offer things at a great price or on clearance. And I've made great use of tea stained book pages or coffee filters for decor as well. But only if you like to do crafts! Otherwise you'll hate all the work. Etsy can be your friend. Everything that I've ordered has been super cheap and has come really fast. Have your fiance wear a suit instead of a tux. We got my fiance`s suit tailor made for about $200. Go casual on the attire. I personally love the casual groom / groomsmen look. Post something on craigslist or at a local college looking for a student photographer. My photographer friend did a couple of weddings while she was in college. Just make sure to see their work first. (Maybe have them do some Std pics first) And make sure to have a contract. If you have a beauty school near you then you can do the same for your hairdresser. But please do a trial run and get a contract! :-) Are you having the ceremony at 8 pm? You could probably get away with doing a dessert reception with some finger foods. Most people will have eaten dinner by 8 pm. Just make sure to word this correctly on the invitation. Yes, get an ipod for the music. I'm pretty picky when it comes to music so that's what we are doing. Keep scouting for a caterer. I'm having our food done by a local restaurant that also does catering. They are usually cheaper than a place that only does catering. I rented six 4 gallon drink dispensers and will do premixed cocktails. This allows me to use cheap alcohol because it will be mixed with juice / soda / frozen fruit. One of my favorites is a vodka lavender blackberry lemonade! Don't pay a catering company for non alcoholic drinks! You can get them so much cheaper yourself. We are doing hot chocolate in a cockpot with flavored syrup they can add. ( You can buy syrups for hot chocolate or lemonade or cocktails to make it more fancy online, from a local coffee shop, Wal-Mart, etc.) You can make your own iced tea. We are doing sweet tea and a blueberry hibiscus! We are doing cupcakes instead of a wedding cake. This has been cheaper by far! Don't despair yet! Small budgets just mean you might have to get more creative. :-)
    Does he own a company that rents them?  Or he randomly has his own? That made me chuckle for some reason.  Although I do hope it is one of those super nice ones in the trailer that basically seems like a real bathroom because otherwise I think I'd be holding it all night
    sunflowersandcurlsSP29
  • Haha! That does seem strange out of context. His family does huge family reunions out on his parents` farm. They used it at his sister's wedding recently and its not huge, but it's very clean, has a light inside, a sink, and I'm not sure on the specifics... But the toilet isn't just a hole in a seat to the ground... Ya know? Anyway, we are getting married at my mom's barn and need an extra bathroom just in case. I have a feeling most of the men will be using that one anyway. Maybe it'll also stop them from getting drunk and pissing out in the corn field. :-) One can always hope.
  • Our budget is 10k too. One of the things I did was use the knot's budget tool to see what the breakdown is for an 8k and a 10k wedding. I looked at a couple other budgeting tools and wrote them in columns so I would know what my price range for everything is. The closer I can keep some things (invitations, flowers, accessories) to the 8k budget, the more wiggle room I have in the 10k budget for things I prioritize (photography, food and drink).
    Also, I reasearched a little bit and some random site told me the average price per person in the area we are getting married is 125$. So, again using the figures from TK budgeter, I subtracted all the non-guest related cost (attire, rings, deco, photos, invites, etc.) from the 10k and divided that by number of guest. It wasn't close to 125$. So I added back some of the thing I knew we aren't going to spend money on (favors, veil (I'm using my mom's), ipod instead of DJ) and divided that by number of guest. Much closer to 125.
    It is not scientific but it helped give me an idea of some numbers. Idk about you but if I can spend every penny of a budget so by targeting a lower one from the beginning it will, hopefully, leave more room at the end for the fun stuff.

    [Deleted User]STARMOON44
  • I know I'm late to this thread and you got lots of good advice, but think of it this way.  Your budget is $10k, and you spent just under a third of the entire budget just on the location.  That's a HUGE chunk of that budget.   If you haven't signed the contract yet, I'd start looking at other venues.  You can look into state or regional parks and sometimes they have rental facilities for in the $1k range.  Your budget would work much better if you were in the $500-1500 range for the venue.
  • I am in the same boat. I have found that the loft/ facility rentals are more expensive than the banquet halls. I am looking for a banquet hall that caters and provides centerpieces, table cloths, and napkins and does not charge for the ceremony. 

    We are opting to do a cash bar to cut back on some costs, the ceremony and reception will be in the same facility, so no transportation costs. The only thing that wont cost much is DJ because my fiance has someone to do that. Other than that we are pretty much on our own for everything.

    I am in Chicago and facilities in the city are expensive so we are looking at suburban banquet halls. I have found a few places that are within budget and beautiful. As PP have said you just have to sit down together and go over the things that are important to the day and the memories you want to have. I started out wanting a specific cusine, but quickly changed my stance when I learned it would cost too much.



  • I am in the same boat. I have found that the loft/ facility rentals are more expensive than the banquet halls. I am looking for a banquet hall that caters and provides centerpieces, table cloths, and napkins and does not charge for the ceremony. 

    We are opting to do a cash bar to cut back on some costs, the ceremony and reception will be in the same facility, so no transportation costs. The only thing that wont cost much is DJ because my fiance has someone to do that. Other than that we are pretty much on our own for everything.

    I am in Chicago and facilities in the city are expensive so we are looking at suburban banquet halls. I have found a few places that are within budget and beautiful. As PP have said you just have to sit down together and go over the things that are important to the day and the memories you want to have. I started out wanting a specific cusine, but quickly changed my stance when I learned it would cost too much.





    You plans sound great except the cash bar. It's really inappropriate to ask your guests to pay for anything. The purpose of a reception is to thank your guests for coming - making them pay for their thank you is wrong and frankly, poor hosting.

    Agreed. If you can't afford alcohol, don't have it at all.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers



    [Deleted User]charcoalandblush
  • This isn't meant to hijack this thread but I did once go to a friends house for dinner and at the end she asked us all for a 'contribution' for the ingredients. It was SO AWKWARD.
    image
    [Deleted User]SP29
  • Our total budget is going to wind up in the $11k range (Nebraska, for reference), and like everyone else and their cat most of that will wind up going to food and drank.

    The one place we did really save, though, was in our reception centerpieces. They're painted wine bottles filled with kusudama flowers (http://www.origami-instructions.com/origami-kusudama-flower.html). I've been working on the flowers for the last year - with, I admit, a 5-month gap where I didn't touch them :) - and then at the end of the night we're telling people they can take a flower home as their favor. The whole endeavor cost like $150, we were able to put table numbers on the bottles, AND I don't have to figure out what to do with 100+ paper flowers in the aftermath! 

    I also highly recommend the advice above about trying to source flowers from your local farmer's markets if you really want them. It's soooo much less expensive than an official florist, in my experience. My bridal bouquet, 3 maids and a flowergirl posey are going to cost me, I think, $70 all told. Plus we'll get to pick up wedding-morning cinnamon rolls for breakfast from the next stall over. :)

    Good luck, in any case!
    [Deleted User]
  • kvrunskvruns member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    This isn't meant to hijack this thread but I did once go to a friends house for dinner and at the end she asked us all for a 'contribution' for the ingredients. It was SO AWKWARD.
    What?!?!?
  • kvruns said:



    This isn't meant to hijack this thread but I did once go to a friends house for dinner and at the end she asked us all for a 'contribution' for the ingredients. It was SO AWKWARD.

    What?!?!?



    It was only spaghetti bolognese as well. It wasn't even that nice.
    image
  • This isn't meant to hijack this thread but I did once go to a friends house for dinner and at the end she asked us all for a 'contribution' for the ingredients. It was SO AWKWARD.
    What?!?!?
    It was only spaghetti bolognese as well. It wasn't even that nice.
    Still!  Even if it was lobster, nobody I know would be crass enough to ask me for a contribution for the ingredients.  In fact, I once had lobster for dinner at the house of friends.  I think we took them out to a nice restaurant soon after and picked up the check in order to return the favor, but we'd NEVER ask for money to have someone over.  So gross.  I can't get over how gross that is.
  • This isn't meant to hijack this thread but I did once go to a friends house for dinner and at the end she asked us all for a 'contribution' for the ingredients. It was SO AWKWARD.
    I'd probably mail them a bottle of garlic salt as my "contribution to ingredients."
    thespeshulestsnowflakeShesSoColdCharmedPamKnottie1446872066
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2015
    I had a $10,000 budget when I first started planning, but I didn't know anything about the wedding industry. That quickly went up a bit.  Crazy how fast it builds, right?

    I agree with PP that if the alcohol is a big chunk of your budget, and you want to cut it out, just don't have a bar. Can you put wine bottles on tables?  My Best Friend had a limited alcohol wedding, with just wine bottles that they bought on their own for each table.  It was fine. 


    Knottie1446872066
  • I had a $10,000 budget when I first started planning, but I didn't know anything about the wedding industry. That quickly went up a bit.  Crazy how fast it builds, right?

    I agree with PP that if the alcohol is a big chunk of your budget, and you want to cut it out, just don't have a bar. Can you put wine bottles on tables?  My Best Friend had a limited alcohol wedding, with just wine bottles that they bought on their own for each table.  It was fine. 

    What if I'm at a table with a bunch of lushes who fill up their wine glass to the tippy top?  By the time the bottle gets around to me, it's empty.  Am I supposed to walk around from table to table, pouring the dregs left at the bottom of the bottles into my glass?  And what if I want a second glass?  It's fine to only offer wine, but whatever is offered should be available all night, not just until it's gone.
    HeffalumpKnottie1446872066
  • I think that asking people to contribute towards the cost of a dinner is more common with students/young adults. I went to a number of dinner parties when I was a student where it was asked if people could contribute ~$10/person to help offset costs. Plus the guy cooking was a chef in training and it was always something amazing (steak, lobster etc) so I didn't mind. Nowadays I would never ask someone to help contribute towards ingredients because it just seems tacky, but I think starving students/young adults get a pass on this one. 
    sunflowersandcurls
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