DOC- Not worth it!

ema12487

We had our wedding reception in a tent on my husband's parents' property. We decided to hire a day-of coordinator, since our reception was going to be in a tent, and we had lots of decorating and DIY details that we wanted to make sure were carried through. We also needed someone to be at the site for deliveries, etc. during the ceremony and to make sure things were running smoothly during the reception.

Well, our "professional" day-of coordinator was so not worth her $500 fee. She was really nice and everything, but she ended up stressing me out more than helping. She came over to the reception site the day before, when us and our families were setting everything up, flower arranging, etc etc. She helped a bit, but really she was just an extra pair of hands.

What really got me upset was how she handled little things that went "wrong". First, the night before the wedding, I thought about a couple (really simple) details I wanted her to do that I'd forgotten to tell her, so I emailed her about them. She emails me back the most stupid questions, like if there was tape left for her to hang a banner- why would she have to ask that, just bring some tape yourself! Not a big deal, but it bugged me- just not professional.

Then in the morning when I was getting ready with the girls, she called me multiple times with this panicked tone of voice, asking about things that she was hired to take care of for me, so I wouldn't have to. I had to tell her how to handle the situations. So stressful! Then, pretty much immediately when we arrived at the reception, she came up to me to tell me about all the little problems that had come up, and how she dealt with them. Like I want to know, especially during the reception! It was like she wanted to be congratulated for taking care of things, which again, was her job.

She has her own wedding planning/DOC business, so I thought hiring her would relieve a lot of stress for me and our families during the event, and would keep things moving at the reception. But the caterer and band were really good and were the ones that made sure everything was running smoothly.

Basically, I wouldn't recommend not hiring a DOC, especially for a DIY, outdoor wedding, but I, personally regret it. I wish I had talked to other brides who had her before we hired her! Get references before hiring!

kmmssg

I don't think this is a very fair post.  YOUR DOC didn't do a good job for  you.  OUR DOC for DD's wedding was invaluable and was the very best money we spent on the whole thing.  She handled everything a true professional DOC should and then some.  She is excellent at what she does and well worth the money.

I don't think you should be telling people it is a bad idea in general just because you had a poor experience.

ema12487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_doc-not-worth-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:bdf20835-212e-413a-bfad-ab38ace84604Post:015205ab-8e69-4c8c-b0f4-90c3f8e3e5d7">Re: DOC- Not worth it!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think this is a very fair post.  YOUR DOC didn't do a good job for  you.  OUR DOC for DD's wedding was invaluable and was the very best money we spent on the whole thing.  She handled everything a true professional DOC should and then some.  She is excellent at what she does and well worth the money. I don't think you should be telling people it is a bad idea in general just because you had a poor experience.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm not telling people that a DOC is a bad idea. See my last paragraph- I just suggest doing thorough research before hiring one, which I didn't do! Sorry, I just wanted to vent about my experience, and share what can happen when you have a bad DOC. </div><div>
</div>

HobokensFury

Honestly this post doesn't seem fair to your DOC.  She was not your wedding planner so she didn't know all of the little details associated with your wedding.  You should have left her specific directions if you didn't want her to bother you.  It's better that she consulted you instead of doing something you didn't like. As for the tape that's petty. You should provide it. She should have to come out of her pocket to buy tape for your banner.

vickel08

I don't see anything wrong with the post. She is telling her point of view and it may help another bride, like myself. Not sure why you all are being so negative towards her post. If I paid someone $500 I would expect that they handle the details without me, not bring to my attention things that would stress me out (especially if there was a chance I would never know or that it would ruin my mood), and bring some darn tape for a banner. That's her job and I shouldn't have to spell that out in a letter. If I have to tell you how to do your job then you should be paying me.

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_doc-not-worth-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:bdf20835-212e-413a-bfad-ab38ace84604Post:2842bfe1-4e31-49b8-9f83-fc27fb9793fe">Re: DOC- Not worth it!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see anything wrong with the post. She is telling her point of view and it may help another bride, like myself. Not sure why you all are being so negative towards her post. If I paid someone $500 I would expect that they handle the details without me, not bring to my attention things that would stress me out (especially if there was a chance I would never know or that it would ruin my mood), and bring some darn tape for a banner. That's her job and I shouldn't have to spell that out in a letter. If I have to tell you how to do your job then you should be paying me.
Posted by vickel08[/QUOTE]

My point is DOC's are not mind readers.  They need direction.  Just say for some reason you wanted 5 chairs on the left side and 6 on the right you need to convay this. You can't get mad if the DOC put 6 chairs on each side if she wasn't given any instructions.

ash273uk

In Response to Re: DOC- Not worth it!:
[QUOTE]I don't see anything wrong with the post. She is telling her point of view and it may help another bride, like myself. Not sure why you all are being so negative towards her post. If I paid someone $500 I would expect that they handle the details without me, not bring to my attention things that would stress me out (especially if there was a chance I would never know or that it would ruin my mood), and bring some darn tape for a banner. That's her job and I shouldn't have to spell that out in a letter. If I have to tell you how to do your job then you should be paying me.
Posted by vickel08[/QUOTE]

THIS.  I personally had a wedding coordinator (not just DOC) and she was AMAZING, but OP had a bad experience and is just passing it along to other brides.

ZeroOrchestra

Idk, OP you weren't very specific about things you had to tell her so it's hard to say. The tape thing is really petty, she should not have to provide tape although it sounds like if you said no I forgot that, she would have. That's what DOCs help with, the small things we tend to forget, like pens for the guest book, as well as their larger role in the day. They need direction from somewhere, so it's good advice to make sure you are clear about what you want, and what the DOC will be responsible for. They can only work with the information you give them.

Cortney1982

I have never heard a bride who said they DOC was a waste of money!  Mine was worth every dime.  No way would the day have turned out great without her.

Should she had bothered you every time she solved a problem, probably not. 

Does she have a lot of experience?  Just because she has her own business does not mean she has skill.   We met with ours a month before the wedding.  She told us she had done about 50 weddings and after our 1 hour meeting which she helped us with a lot of ideas and details (including important things we didn't even think of) we were positive she knew what she was doing and was good at it.

rlavach

Well I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience. I agree with others that you really can't blame her for it all. It seems to be a lack of communication before your wedding that lead to this. My DOC was absolutely fabulous and worth every penny. We met several times, corresponded via email, and I left her very VERY detailed instructions and spreadsheets with all of the information she could ever need. Everything went smoothly.

HessieJ

OP - I can definitely understand why you felt frustrated. Thanks for sharing your experience. 

zantster

I think the last thing the OP said is the most important thing..."Get references before hiring!"  I haven't had my wedding yet.  But I have hired a DOC.  She is already fantastic.  She communicates very well by email, which is all I need at this point and I can send as many emails as I want.  She even hooked me and FI up with a badass antique white rolls royce phantom for the day!  FI hates limos and did not want to ride in one so I was over the moon to get an outstanding alternative.  I couldn't have gotten it without her references and being a go-between.  She's even emailed me when she hasn't heard from me in a while to make sure I'm doing ok.  She gets rave reviews on wedding sites like this one.  And most importantly we had a sit down consultation where she had a professional folder made up with everything that came with the package in writing.  I'm sorry for the OPs experience.  But I think future brides just need to take her advice and always check reviews first.