NWR: Trying to Cut Back on Spending, Vent

ohmrs2014

I have seen a few threads on this.  Luckily DH and I are on the same page that we need to make some cuts to save some more money, especially with a little one on the way and there is the possibility of DH being laid off in the next 2 months, but thats a separate post for another day.  We have already cut back on eating out and are looking at options to cut back on the cable bill (seriously we don't even watch half of the channels we have).  I coupon and save in the grocery store where I can and buy in bulk from Coscto when needed.

Our student loans are something we can't cut back on, but luckily I have 4 payments left on one of them so that will be some money saved.  Our CCs are being paid off so thats not a problem.

Our problem is with the trainer we have at the gym.  Neither of us want to give up the membership, which is fine, its not a big dent in our budget to begin with.  We have a small apartment and we do workout at home with the small space we have set aside, but with a baby coming that small space is going to get smaller and there are times where I want to take a fitness class or just use the treadmill instead of walking outside.  

The trainer costs us $304 a month.  We are locked into a 6 month commitment.  Even after I found out I was pregnant, the gym and the trainer worked with us to still keep it but at the $304 cost. Essentially its a 2-for-1 deal since we workout together.  DH loves working out with the trainer and it has been so good for him, he's gotten into amazing shape and I think its partly because he has someone kicking his @$$ in the gym for a 1/2 hour.  He doesn't want to give it up and wants to find a way to make it work.  I, on the other hand, think its an expense that needs to get cut when the contract is up, which is still a few months away.  With him being laid off, as it appears now, thats $304 we can save each month or put towards another household bill.  He just wants, like I said, wants to make it work so he can still keep the trainer.

It's very frustrating, to say the least.  Any suggestions or ideas on how I can open his eyes to saving this money? 

lyndausvi

Put the expense on a spreadsheet and SHOW him how much it costs a year.  $304 a month is $3648 a YEAR.    He might not think $304 is "too much".  But if you said you wanted to spend over 3 grand, well then he might be singing a different tune.

Or ask HIM to figure out how to come up with $304 a month or $3648 a year.   Something has to give.  If HE wants the trainer then HE has to come up with ideas on  what is going to be cut elsewhere.

sarawifenow

$304 a month is a huge amount for me. I can't even imagine trying to squeeze that much out of our finances right now!

ohmrs2014

I'm starting to feel it now.  Before it was like yea sure, whatever.  Now, it's all changed.

kvruns

How many visits comprise that $304? I might look at it that way and see what that $75 per visit (or whatever it is) could get him, or if he can go to a smaller package in the future. Not to mention when the baby is there will you guys still use it the same? Keeping a gym membership is great, but maybe not the trainer part if there aren't ways to budget around it.

wandajune6

Lynda's spot on.

DH has been trying to quit smoking. When we first met, he was smoking half a pack per day. Now he's pretty much quit (he smokes about 2 cigarettes/month). He didn't want to quit. He new he needed to but he loves smoking. He also wanted cable.

The math:
1 pack = $9
15 packs/month = $135.

Quit smoking and he could get HBO. My beloved is cheap so we got a $55/month package (the cheapest option with a DVR in our market).

Obviously, we have different things going on in our lives. However, there are trade-offs. He needs to figure out what he wants to give up in order to keep this.

banana468

$300 is up there with a car payment.   Lynda has great advice about what you can get for $300 / year.   

loveislouder

What's your rent like? That $300.00 could help rent you guys a house if you need more room for baby, and will give him more space to work out at home. 

ETA: I realize what I said isn't actually helpful. I'm just trying to find ways to put it in perspective for him.  

STARMOON44

First, figure out something you can cut that you care more about.

Second, tell him that if he wants luxury goods he'd better step up and be finding a new job to pay for them. If he has a new job when the contract expires, great! If not, he'll have to make do.

lyndausvi

Have you run numbers on how much a baby costs?   Diapers ain't cheap.     Going cloth is less expensive, but there still is a good $300+ start up cost.  That is one month of the cost of a trainer just spent.    

You have deductibles for childbirth, follow up doctor's appointments.   Clothes, toys, general crap kids need.  Sure you might get some of that stuff as gifts, but I would not count on it.

I'm assuming you are not getting 100% maternity pay.   Add in your DH is going to be laid off.  Well, things need to change.

Do you have a budget?  Have you run the numbers for when the baby comes?  Kids ain't cheap. Let alone when one of you is going to be laid off.   

flbride2015

ohmrs2014 said:

I have seen a few threads on this.  Luckily DH and I are on the same page that we need to make some cuts to save some more money, especially with a little one on the way and there is the possibility of DH being laid off in the next 2 months, but thats a separate post for another day.  We have already cut back on eating out and are looking at options to cut back on the cable bill (seriously we don't even watch half of the channels we have).  I coupon and save in the grocery store where I can and buy in bulk from Coscto when needed.

Our student loans are something we can't cut back on, but luckily I have 4 payments left on one of them so that will be some money saved.  Our CCs are being paid off so thats not a problem.

Our problem is with the trainer we have at the gym.  Neither of us want to give up the membership, which is fine, its not a big dent in our budget to begin with.  We have a small apartment and we do workout at home with the small space we have set aside, but with a baby coming that small space is going to get smaller and there are times where I want to take a fitness class or just use the treadmill instead of walking outside.  

The trainer costs us $304 a month.  We are locked into a 6 month commitment.  Even after I found out I was pregnant, the gym and the trainer worked with us to still keep it but at the $304 cost. Essentially its a 2-for-1 deal since we workout together.  DH loves working out with the trainer and it has been so good for him, he's gotten into amazing shape and I think its partly because he has someone kicking his @$$ in the gym for a 1/2 hour.  He doesn't want to give it up and wants to find a way to make it work.  I, on the other hand, think its an expense that needs to get cut when the contract is up, which is still a few months away.  With him being laid off, as it appears now, thats $304 we can save each month or put towards another household bill.  He just wants, like I said, wants to make it work so he can still keep the trainer.

It's very frustrating, to say the least.  Any suggestions or ideas on how I can open his eyes to saving this money? 

This is hard. First off, I've been terrible at cutting back on my spending, so I'm not sure if my advice would be the best, but I agree with @lyndausvi, if this is important to him, have him come up with other areas he's willing to cut to make up the difference. Maybe see if he can cut the number of sessions in half as well?

ohmrs2014

Our rent is actually pretty decent for the 2 bedroom we are in.  Our workout space is currently the extra room, which will become a nursery so we will have to workout in the living room.  We live in one of the most expensive counties in NJ so we really lucked out when finding this apartment.  

And yes, our car payment is $20 more than the personal trainer.  Its 1/2hr sessions 2x/week.  

And I also tried explaining to him that when the little one arrives, the chances of us working out together at the gym is going to be slim to none because their child care services begin at age 2 and since we work out at night, theres no one to watch the baby.  He thinks it'll be easy to just have his parents come over on the two nights we train.  I personally don't think thats an option.

We are lucky in the sense that we are going to be saving money in the childcare aspect because my parents have offered to watch the little one when I go back work.

ohmrs2014

We considered cloth diapers, but there are no services in our area since we don't have our own washer and dryer.

He has been looking for jobs, but I have a feeling he is going to take a pay cut with a new job.  The thing is too, he is kind of in a limbo with his job.  Its a weird situation.  The clients love him and even though he's technically a manager, the clients still request him to be onsite when he can so his boss is looking at alternatives to keep him on, but DH is just done with the whole environment (its very hostile).

Little one will be on my health insurance which is going to kill my paycheck.  I will be on short term disability, which is 60% of my pay and I work in Catholic School so it's not like I'm bringing in the money like him.  But our salaries together, we have been comfortable, until I realized that cuts needed to be made.

jenna8984

I know that health is one of (if not) the most important things in the world and not something to skimp on. However, that is just way too much in my opinion when there are so many things he can do for free or cheaper. After the few months are up, he should have his gym "routine" down pat. He should know exactly when and how to do each set/ move. He can just pay the general gym membership and do those skills on his own, or with a friend if he really needs the accountability.

If he does get laid off, he will have all the time and daylight in the world to run, bike, hike, swim for free! That would be my first cut.

I'm not sure how you could convince him of that, but I'd start off by saying the things you are giving up. I'm sure you like something such as massages but at $75 a wack, it prevents you from having 3 a month.

OliveOilsMom

Any chance you can compromise and he gets to keep the trainer.  But he only goes to the trainer once per week and you stop seeing the trainer?  How much would that reduce the cost per month?  If your contract is up soon, you should be able to remove yourself and change your current contract to something more manageable.

I agree with you that he is oversimplifying that his parents will watch the baby every single time you have the nights with the trainer.

banana468

I think you need to also face the reality that you may have neither the time nor energy to work out.   I used my spare time post-baby to sleep.   All of that hinges on your delivery and the kind of baby you have.   There's very little you can predict in that.

Yes, if you want to save more you can also nurse vs. buy formula but yeah, baby stuff is NOT cheap - and you think you don't want to spend $ on a gadget until it gets your baby to sleep - then you can tell the trainer to sit and spin on a free weight if it gets you a nap.

ohmrs2014

The cost of the trainer is just for one person.  They had a special going on right around the time we had ended our last contract and I was going to stop seeing the trainer to save money.  The gym and trainer said that they were having a special, like a 2-for-1 deal.  So the cost is just for one person, but as a bonus, I still get to work out with the trainer as well.  The gym is very big on partner training as they see it as more motivation.

MyNameIsNot

What about looking into something like group training boot camp or cross fit? Those things are designed to work with a trainer, but you work in a small group instead of individually. They're still pricey, but about half of what you're paying now, and they usually meet 4-5 times/week. Would he be willing to compromise with something like that to save some money?

southernbelle0915

Since most of this is about the kid, why not show him how much you could save for junior's college over the next 18 years if you put that money in an IRA or other higher yeild savings option.

jacques27

Other than finding the money elsewhere, I think this is one of those things where he just needs to find an alternative to the expensive trainer and find the motivation from within.  I'm all for working out and for personal trainers, but unemployed plus new baby means suck it up and find another way.

For instance, does he have a friend who likes to work out who can motivate him and be his work out buddy just joining a cheaper facility.  The Y has dual memberships (if you wanted to work out there, too, separately) for $110/mo.  Individual memberships are something like $66/mo.  And they usually have a variety of free group classes in addition to the ones they have for an additional fee. 

Or do you have a community center?  The community center in my town has a fairly nice fitness room with pretty much every weight machine you could want.  A family membership is something like $40/month if you're a resident of the town, $60 if you're not a resident and you get a discount on classes so that residents only pay $20/month per class.  The next town over has similar.  Both towns offer a discount if you pay for a full year in advance.  Also, some health insurance plans offer a partial reimbursement (for us, it's $40/mo for most participating gyms and $20/mo for the community center making the community center basically half price). 

Another option is find another trainer elsewhere and don't go as often.  For instance, my friend runs a training business and charges $35 per half hour session with no commitment - you just schedule as you see fit.  He could do one session every month or every two weeks just to keep himself accountable and fine tune his workout program.

ohmrs2014

I think we have agreed as of right now to cutting it down to once a week, which will cut the cost in half.  

Like I said, his job is in limbo. It is a lot to get into, but long story short, an admin is sleeping with his immediate boss (DH has proof) and now DH is being pushed out of his management position and she is being promoted.  She claims she doesn't want it and says she is trying to convince the boss to keep DH on as admin.  

As of last Thursday, he would be laid off, but with no immediate time line but his boss said that they would try to find a way to keep him on where he still works with clients and goes on site and keep his benefits, but obviously with a drastic pay cut or he can collect unemployment.  

On Friday, his boss closed the office so everyone worked from home.  He was in communication with his boss because he was trying to help a client and his boss alluded to the idea that maybe they would keep him on and have him head the AV department they have been talking about starting.  Maybe he feels guilty for what he's doing, though he claims the girl has been vying for DHs job for a while now.  

Today, the girl came out of a meeting with the boss and was telling DH that she's trying to convince the boss to keep him as an admin and that it would be awesome if he did head the AV department but DH said nothing has been confirmed.

Essentially DH needs to leave, now its just a matter of him leaving for another job or him being laid off because even his boss isn't sure on what he wants to do.  It's a mess!

lyndausvi

Has he looked for another job?

DH was fired as a result of his married #2 was sleeping with a woman who was also sleeping with and also married GM.   #2 blackmailed the GM to get DH's job.     A month later the GM was fired for having the affair but it was before hiring a new chef, which of course #2 applied. The company has a policy that you have to post the position so the GM wasn't able to just give #2 the job right away.  The new GM didn't hire #2.     #2 was let go because his position was eliminated company wide. Both #2 and the GM were served with divorce papers.  

15 months later DH is at his dream job.  Much better pay, benefits, quality of life and 100% creative control.

IMO nothing good will come from him staying with a boss who has affairs with employees.    I would tell him to do anything he can to find another job. 

ohmrs2014

He is. He is actually going to fill out the paperwork on Wednesday when it is released for the fire department. He's not one to ask for help and neither am I but my dad apparently talked to his old job and his brother who happens to lead the department my dad worked for so now they want DHs resume. My mom sent it over to a few of her old clients as well. (Found all this out today). I will say that we are blessed to have a fantastic support system and he appreciates the help.

His sister even went to a psychic and she told SIL that he will be where he's supposed to be in the next few years and that everything is going to be ok.

He's been looking for the past few weeks before all this started.

ChemFanatic25

ohmrs2014 said:

The cost of the trainer is just for one person.  They had a special going on right around the time we had ended our last contract and I was going to stop seeing the trainer to save money.  The gym and trainer said that they were having a special, like a 2-for-1 deal.  So the cost is just for one person, but as a bonus, I still get to work out with the trainer as well.  The gym is very big on partner training as they see it as more motivation.

Please don't take this as patronizing but maybe your husband could take a note from this? You two could still workout together without the personal trainer. Especially if you have been seeing this person for a while. You should have some kind of training schedule down pat. So you could do something together but cut out the middle man and save $X. Also, I know you don't have much space in the apartment but could you do some exercises outside like running, bike riding, hiking, etc? Or something low impact? You can do it together to maintain a checks and balance on one another.