To start off, I've been engaged for over a year and am getting married in a month and a week. I haven't set any harsh dress code requirements for my maids/mom who is my maid of honor. I am paying for their hair and make up, which they can wear however they want, and I don't care what accessories they want. The only requirements were David's Bridal specific blue color, the dress not be satin, and nude shoes.
This was common knowledge for the last eight months since I had to change the dress color several different times from various shades of blue until everyone was happy with a color. I get a call my mother/MOH and was told she thinks all the dresses in the color that was mutually agreed on by everyone (including her) are ugly. She now wants a different color. My sister (MOH #2) ordered her dress online and in the color everyone agreed on but just now showed me that the top is satin and the bottom chiffon. She already paid for the dress and received it in the mail. She said she'll return it though has said a few things that made me feel guilty about that fact (even though I was more adament about the 'no satin' rule than anything). She did not show me the dress before she bought it, she didn't even alert me to the fact that she had picked one out, just that she said she'd find something that wasn't satin. Everyone else in my wedding party is totally cool with their dress options and knows not to pick Satin and stay with the color we all agreed on.
I know many people have the maid of honor in a different color but my reasoning for wanting everyone in the same color is this: My dress is not white. Its got an embroidered pattern in many soft colors all over and is what I could consider "busy". Very pretty though. I would like everyone else in my wedding party to be consistent since I am...well not. It wouldn't be a big deal if I had a white dress..but I don't. I don't want to have too much going on in the pictures and feel that not everyone in the same color would make it too all over the place especially since the dresses themselves are all different. Its not that my mom/MOH wants a different shade of blue, she wants an entirely different color.
How the heck do I try and guide my mom/MOH to a dress in the color (and not satin) that she will like? I have already offered to go and look with her but she insists everything is ugly or too revealing. And how to tenderly ask my sister to let me see her dress before she buys another one. I have been very relaxed and down to earth on everything else about the wedding party look and the whole wedding in general (not that it really affects anyone else). This is something I don't want to really budge on. Advice?