Who's unreasonable here -- me or my mom?
My BM graciously offered to pay for me to have my hair and makeup done as her wedding present. This is obviously a HUGE gift, and really wonderful since otherwise I might not have been able to do this. My mom and MOH/sister have been pretty consistent in telling me they thought it was ridiculous, but I decided to ignore them and go ahead. I had my trial last week and I am so excited about how I am going to look.
My mom seemed OK with this until I mentioned the timeline for the appointment. My wedding is at 2 and the appointment is from 9-11am, which seemed plenty of time. Unfortunately no sooner had I gotten off the phone then I got a series of texts from my father laying into me about how apparently my priorities are out of wack, spending my wedding morning with a stylist and gifting-BM rather than my mother and sister. They are welcome to come to the salon with me, but they don't want to sit around for 2 hours, which I understand. I didn't know this would be a problem because my mother and sister informed me that everyone should show up already ready and dressed to my apartment, so I didn't expect them much earlier than 11 anyway. My mom shot down any ideas about the usual getting ready together, mimosas, group photos, what have you months ago as silly and "self-centered." Apparently it also creates problems with transporting our relatives (which my folks told me months ago that they would take care of). Now it is sounding like my mother is maybe not going to be with me before the ceremony at all.
I'm really confused, since I thought this was pretty normal and anyway I don't know when else I would get my hair etc. done....The last 14 months of my engagement have made me realize that a lot of things my mom does/says are unfair, and accept that, after having this relationship with her for so long, I have limited ability to distinguish me being really selfish from my mom saying I'm selfish because she/my sister are more important. Is this really unreasonable/selfish? Should I be calling BM and saying thank you, but I can't accept this anymore? Or should I hold my ground? I know I'll have regrets either way and I just have no idea what to do.