Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Finally finished writing ceremony

Hi all!
We have finally finished writing our ceremony - wasn't as bad as I thought it would be :-)
Would anyone mind taking a look at it to see if it is alright. 
If so, let me know and I will PM it to you!
TIA
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Re: Finally finished writing ceremony

  • loro929 said:
    Hi all!
    We have finally finished writing our ceremony - wasn't as bad as I thought it would be :-)
    Would anyone mind taking a look at it to see if it is alright. 
    If so, let me know and I will PM it to you!
    TIA
    as long as you give me permission to steal parts I like, I'll take a look.
    loro929
  • adk19 said:
    loro929 said:
    Hi all!
    We have finally finished writing our ceremony - wasn't as bad as I thought it would be :-)
    Would anyone mind taking a look at it to see if it is alright. 
    If so, let me know and I will PM it to you!
    TIA
    as long as you give me permission to steal parts I like, I'll take a look.
    Absolutely! Check your PM.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I made very few changes.  Some suggestions... 

    Add more "stage direction" such as "please be seated" and "loro and FI have asked Jenny to read from The Velveteen Rabbit.  If Jenny will please come forward".  If the officiant gets nervous the whole audience may end up standing for the whole ceremony if he doesn't direct them to sit.  If Jenny isn't specifically invited up, the officiant may read all readings himself.

    Also, since you didn't include them, I assume you're writing your own vows.  Here's the thing, Please make sure they're VOWS.  None of this "I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were the man for me.  The way you smile lights up a room.  When you look at me I know I'm the only woman you'll ever love." garbage.  Vows are promises.  I read here once, and I loved it, that you two should sit down and decide together what you're going to promise each other.  Then, make those promises in your own words, but make the Promises.  Also, no cheesy promises like, "I promise to always put the toilet seat down." or too easily breakable promises like, "I vow never to go to sleep angry."

    And finally, the "repeat after me" parts seem too long.  Are you going to read them?  Or are you going to repeat after the officiant?  Because reading can work.  But if the sentences are too long and you're repeating after me, you'll end up stuttering all over yourself and by the time you get to the end, you won't remember what the beginning of the sentence was.
    loro929
  • I love the idea of sitting down and deciding together what we'll promise TOGETHER, I mean after all we are getting married to each other..lol
  • I'll also take a look if you'd like :)


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    loro929
  • hellohkb said:
    I'll also take a look if you'd like :)
    Check your inbox!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • adk19 said:
    I made very few changes.  Some suggestions... 

    Add more "stage direction" such as "please be seated" and "loro and FI have asked Jenny to read from The Velveteen Rabbit.  If Jenny will please come forward".  If the officiant gets nervous the whole audience may end up standing for the whole ceremony if he doesn't direct them to sit.  If Jenny isn't specifically invited up, the officiant may read all readings himself.

    Also, since you didn't include them, I assume you're writing your own vows.  Here's the thing, Please make sure they're VOWS.  None of this "I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were the man for me.  The way you smile lights up a room.  When you look at me I know I'm the only woman you'll ever love." garbage.  Vows are promises.  I read here once, and I loved it, that you two should sit down and decide together what you're going to promise each other.  Then, make those promises in your own words, but make the Promises.  Also, no cheesy promises like, "I promise to always put the toilet seat down." or too easily breakable promises like, "I vow never to go to sleep angry."

    And finally, the "repeat after me" parts seem too long.  Are you going to read them?  Or are you going to repeat after the officiant?  Because reading can work.  But if the sentences are too long and you're repeating after me, you'll end up stuttering all over yourself and by the time you get to the end, you won't remember what the beginning of the sentence was.
    Thanks for the feedback!
    We are writing our own vows, I still have to work on that; but don't worry - they will be real vows :-) I will probably come here for feedback when I finish up with them over the next few weeks.

    Also, the comments re. directions to the guests are great. As we pretty much wrote everything from scratch, I did not consider that type of detail.

    We were planning on repeating after the officiant, I want to do a "pretend" run through at home to make all final revisions before sending it off to him to assure that it is under 20 minutes. We really want to keep the ceremony short and sweet - so during that at home run through, which we will probably clock, if it seems to be dragging - I will evaluate what to trim out - perhaps one of the readings, or the repetition, etc.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I love the idea of sitting down and deciding together what we'll promise TOGETHER, I mean after all we are getting married to each other..lol
    To do this, I suggest using the "traditional" vows as a template; Better or Worse, Sickness and in Health, Richer or Poorer, etc.  It keeps you in real promises and away from cheesyness.
  • loro929 said:
    adk19 said:
    I made very few changes.  Some suggestions... 

    Add more "stage direction" such as "please be seated" and "loro and FI have asked Jenny to read from The Velveteen Rabbit.  If Jenny will please come forward".  If the officiant gets nervous the whole audience may end up standing for the whole ceremony if he doesn't direct them to sit.  If Jenny isn't specifically invited up, the officiant may read all readings himself.

    Also, since you didn't include them, I assume you're writing your own vows.  Here's the thing, Please make sure they're VOWS.  None of this "I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were the man for me.  The way you smile lights up a room.  When you look at me I know I'm the only woman you'll ever love." garbage.  Vows are promises.  I read here once, and I loved it, that you two should sit down and decide together what you're going to promise each other.  Then, make those promises in your own words, but make the Promises.  Also, no cheesy promises like, "I promise to always put the toilet seat down." or too easily breakable promises like, "I vow never to go to sleep angry."

    And finally, the "repeat after me" parts seem too long.  Are you going to read them?  Or are you going to repeat after the officiant?  Because reading can work.  But if the sentences are too long and you're repeating after me, you'll end up stuttering all over yourself and by the time you get to the end, you won't remember what the beginning of the sentence was.
    Thanks for the feedback!
    We are writing our own vows, I still have to work on that; but don't worry - they will be real vows :-) I will probably come here for feedback when I finish up with them over the next few weeks.

    Also, the comments re. directions to the guests are great. As we pretty much wrote everything from scratch, I did not consider that type of detail.

    We were planning on repeating after the officiant, I want to do a "pretend" run through at home to make all final revisions before sending it off to him to assure that it is under 20 minutes. We really want to keep the ceremony short and sweet - so during that at home run through, which we will probably clock, if it seems to be dragging - I will evaluate what to trim out - perhaps one of the readings, or the repetition, etc.
    If you want to keep it shorter, you should keep out one of the three readings and only have two.  Especially if you're going to have different people reading them, it takes more time to get up from your seat, walk up to the front, unfold the paper you have in your hand, read, walk back to your seat, invite the second person up to read, start all over. Also, how many people will you have there who only speak Italian (as in zero English)?  I officiated my sister's wedding.  We're Brazilian (on mom's side).  Including me and my sister, we had 8 people who spoke fluent Portuguese, 50 people who didn't speak a word of Portuguese, and 2 people who spoke minimal English.  In order to include the second culture while not alienating most of the audience, the only Portuguese included was that I announced them married in Portuguese THEN in English.  My cousin said she wanted to clap because that meant the wedding was done, but she knew I had to do it in English too.  It was super cute.
  • adk19 said:


    loro929 said:


    adk19 said:

    I made very few changes.  Some suggestions... 

    Add more "stage direction" such as "please be seated" and "loro and FI have asked Jenny to read from The Velveteen Rabbit.  If Jenny will please come forward".  If the officiant gets nervous the whole audience may end up standing for the whole ceremony if he doesn't direct them to sit.  If Jenny isn't specifically invited up, the officiant may read all readings himself.

    Also, since you didn't include them, I assume you're writing your own vows.  Here's the thing, Please make sure they're VOWS.  None of this "I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were the man for me.  The way you smile lights up a room.  When you look at me I know I'm the only woman you'll ever love." garbage.  Vows are promises.  I read here once, and I loved it, that you two should sit down and decide together what you're going to promise each other.  Then, make those promises in your own words, but make the Promises.  Also, no cheesy promises like, "I promise to always put the toilet seat down." or too easily breakable promises like, "I vow never to go to sleep angry."

    And finally, the "repeat after me" parts seem too long.  Are you going to read them?  Or are you going to repeat after the officiant?  Because reading can work.  But if the sentences are too long and you're repeating after me, you'll end up stuttering all over yourself and by the time you get to the end, you won't remember what the beginning of the sentence was.

    Thanks for the feedback!
    We are writing our own vows, I still have to work on that; but don't worry - they will be real vows :-) I will probably come here for feedback when I finish up with them over the next few weeks.

    Also, the comments re. directions to the guests are great. As we pretty much wrote everything from scratch, I did not consider that type of detail.

    We were planning on repeating after the officiant, I want to do a "pretend" run through at home to make all final revisions before sending it off to him to assure that it is under 20 minutes. We really want to keep the ceremony short and sweet - so during that at home run through, which we will probably clock, if it seems to be dragging - I will evaluate what to trim out - perhaps one of the readings, or the repetition, etc.

    If you want to keep it shorter, you should keep out one of the three readings and only have two.  Especially if you're going to have different people reading them, it takes more time to get up from your seat, walk up to the front, unfold the paper you have in your hand, read, walk back to your seat, invite the second person up to read, start all over. Also, how many people will you have there who only speak Italian (as in zero English)?  I officiated my sister's wedding.  We're Brazilian (on mom's side).  Including me and my sister, we had 8 people who spoke fluent Portuguese, 50 people who didn't speak a word of Portuguese, and 2 people who spoke minimal English.  In order to include the second culture while not alienating most of the audience, the only Portuguese included was that I announced them married in Portuguese THEN in English.  My cousin said she wanted to clap because that meant the wedding was done, but she knew I had to do it in English too.  It was super cute.

    We will have ~50 minimal to non-English speakers, which is why the second reading is so important as the majority of the ceremony is in English.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • loro929 said:
    loro929 said:
    adk19 said:
    I made very few changes.  Some suggestions... 

    Add more "stage direction" such as "please be seated" and "loro and FI have asked Jenny to read from The Velveteen Rabbit.  If Jenny will please come forward".  If the officiant gets nervous the whole audience may end up standing for the whole ceremony if he doesn't direct them to sit.  If Jenny isn't specifically invited up, the officiant may read all readings himself.

    Also, since you didn't include them, I assume you're writing your own vows.  Here's the thing, Please make sure they're VOWS.  None of this "I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were the man for me.  The way you smile lights up a room.  When you look at me I know I'm the only woman you'll ever love." garbage.  Vows are promises.  I read here once, and I loved it, that you two should sit down and decide together what you're going to promise each other.  Then, make those promises in your own words, but make the Promises.  Also, no cheesy promises like, "I promise to always put the toilet seat down." or too easily breakable promises like, "I vow never to go to sleep angry."

    And finally, the "repeat after me" parts seem too long.  Are you going to read them?  Or are you going to repeat after the officiant?  Because reading can work.  But if the sentences are too long and you're repeating after me, you'll end up stuttering all over yourself and by the time you get to the end, you won't remember what the beginning of the sentence was.
    Thanks for the feedback!
    We are writing our own vows, I still have to work on that; but don't worry - they will be real vows :-) I will probably come here for feedback when I finish up with them over the next few weeks.

    Also, the comments re. directions to the guests are great. As we pretty much wrote everything from scratch, I did not consider that type of detail.

    We were planning on repeating after the officiant, I want to do a "pretend" run through at home to make all final revisions before sending it off to him to assure that it is under 20 minutes. We really want to keep the ceremony short and sweet - so during that at home run through, which we will probably clock, if it seems to be dragging - I will evaluate what to trim out - perhaps one of the readings, or the repetition, etc.
    If you want to keep it shorter, you should keep out one of the three readings and only have two.  Especially if you're going to have different people reading them, it takes more time to get up from your seat, walk up to the front, unfold the paper you have in your hand, read, walk back to your seat, invite the second person up to read, start all over. Also, how many people will you have there who only speak Italian (as in zero English)?  I officiated my sister's wedding.  We're Brazilian (on mom's side).  Including me and my sister, we had 8 people who spoke fluent Portuguese, 50 people who didn't speak a word of Portuguese, and 2 people who spoke minimal English.  In order to include the second culture while not alienating most of the audience, the only Portuguese included was that I announced them married in Portuguese THEN in English.  My cousin said she wanted to clap because that meant the wedding was done, but she knew I had to do it in English too.  It was super cute.
    We will have ~50 minimal to non-English speakers, which is why the second reading is so important as the majority of the ceremony is in English.
    Cool.  Then cut the second reading in English and only have one in each language.

    And when you read it and do the run through to time it, do it out loud, talk slowly, walk back and forth across the room as you call up speakers, process in, lose your place in the reading and have to find yourself again, 'repeat after me' badly.  I think it will give you a more accurate representation of how long it will actually take.  Plus it will give you clues as to whether or not a sentence is hard to say outloud.  Oh, add commas for pauses even if it doesn't really make sense grammatically.  Sometimes clauses are weird written out and line breaks make things confusing, an unnecessary comma will help create a pause so the sentence makes sense.
  • Hey, so I was thinking about my advice for 'stage direction' for the officiant and thought of something else.  I was super detailed about my wedding script when I officiated my sister's wedding.  The one thing I forgot was the Introduction of the Couple at the end.  I announced them married, let them kiss, then everyone was just staring at me.  I stuttered all over myself and said something like, "the couple!" and everyone clapped, the bride and groom walked down the aisle and to waiting champagne for a few minutes together before photos and reception.  I felt like an idiot so I just started getting boozy myself.  The rest of the wedding went sooo well, then I forgot the last line.  *sigh*  So please include something at the end, "I'd like to introduce, for the first time as husband and wife, X and Y!"
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