Huffington post: Bridal showers, how is this still a thing?

kvruns

vikinganna87 said:

I completely agree with the author of this piece and mainly for selfish reasons:

1.  "an gift-giving opportunity that requires my butt to be somewhere other than a beach chair on a beautiful Sunday afternoon." 

2. I'm not opposed to giving gifts at all. This is the part I love - celebrating a couple and giving them something that will make them happy, be useful, act as a token of your love for them or ideally all three.  It's the "let's all sit around and watch someone open presents" part of it that I despise.  In theory it's nice, in practice it's a vulgar, public display of materialism and one-upmanship. 

3. Most showers are organized by women and attended by women. If you're a man, you generally don't have to attend these events. If you're a woman and a good friend or close family member has a shower, you either have to go or have a damn good reason not to show up.  Or potentially risk the wrath of the organizer or bride.  This is what I hate - the societal pressure on women to show up at these things does not exist for men.   

QFT

lyndausvi

kvruns said:

vikinganna87 said:

I completely agree with the author of this piece and mainly for selfish reasons:

1.  "an gift-giving opportunity that requires my butt to be somewhere other than a beach chair on a beautiful Sunday afternoon." 

2. I'm not opposed to giving gifts at all. This is the part I love - celebrating a couple and giving them something that will make them happy, be useful, act as a token of your love for them or ideally all three.  It's the "let's all sit around and watch someone open presents" part of it that I despise.  In theory it's nice, in practice it's a vulgar, public display of materialism and one-upmanship. 

3. Most showers are organized by women and attended by women. If you're a man, you generally don't have to attend these events. If you're a woman and a good friend or close family member has a shower, you either have to go or have a damn good reason not to show up.  Or potentially risk the wrath of the organizer or bride.  This is what I hate - the societal pressure on women to show up at these things does not exist for men.   

QFT

Needs to be hightled even more.

lyndausvi

bethsmiles said:

I like bridal showers. The last one I went to I had a blast at. There were zero games (thank god) and I like giving gifts. I really didn't mind watching the bride open gifts (it took maybe 30-45 minutes). The majority of the night was spent chatting and just hanging out with fun people. And the cake was amazing, I'll go anywhere if there's going to be cake!

I guess I don't understand the hate. If you don't like them don't go and don't have your own but I don't see why they need to stop being a thing altogether just because some people don't enjoy them.

Way easier said then done.  Especially if you are immediate family or in the WP where there is an expectation, if you will, to attend. 

 Look at how many threads we get from people who get upset at those who do not attend showers.  It's somehow a sign they do not like you and/or approve of your union.  Actually telling the bride of a wedding you are in to buy their own damn HM, doesn't make you any friends.   Again look at all SS on hear who flip out on a bunch of strangers saying that.

AddieCake

It does suck that if you don't want to go you risk being pressured or having someone mad at you about it. However, that's true of a lot of parties, not just showers.  My heinous cousin was livid that I couldn't attend her son's 7th birthday party. I had a wedding to go to, but that wasn't a good enough "excuse" in her book. Haha! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. 

PrettyGirlLost

bethsmiles said:

I like bridal showers. The last one I went to I had a blast at. There were zero games (thank god) and I like giving gifts. I really didn't mind watching the bride open gifts (it took maybe 30-45 minutes). The majority of the night was spent chatting and just hanging out with fun people. And the cake was amazing, I'll go anywhere if there's going to be cake!

I guess I don't understand the hate. If you don't like them don't go and don't have your own but I don't see why they need to stop being a thing altogether just because some people don't enjoy them.

This.  I like to snark, but I'm tired of all these click bait articles where people are so outrageously outraged over bullshit, they just HAD to take the time to condescend to rant about it online.

STFU, already.  If you hate something that trivial that much, then don't go/participate.

I hate baby showers.  I find them tedious, for a number of reasons, so I ether decline and send a gift, or go and suck it up for a bit.  I'm not going to go write a diatribe for the Huffington Post about how I think we should cease having baby showers.

P.S. I find the Huffington Post to be a pretty sensationalist, BS "news" source.  I take everything I read there with a large grain of salt.

PrettyGirlLost

AddieCake said:

It does suck that if you don't want to go you risk being pressured or having someone mad at you about it. However, that's true of a lot of parties, not just showers.  My heinous cousin was livid that I couldn't attend her son's 7th birthday party. I had a wedding to go to, but that wasn't a good enough "excuse" in her book. Haha! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. 

Yep.

And don't we always tell people here to start acting like an adult, learn to say no, and stop giving any fucks about what other ppl think about your decisions?

My mom tried to pressure me into going to a baby shower last weekend. . . the invitation was sent to her house, I didn't receive it.  I told her I'd go if I could, but it was kind of last minute for me.  "But, But. .  .and if you can't go you can at least send a gift!"

Yeah, no shit mother.  I intend to.  Which is what I told her.  I didn't go to the shower- my mother seems to be fine with it, and if she's harboring some resentment over it, meh.  I don't have to worry about it or deal with it unless she says something about it.

lovegood90

PrettyGirlLost said:

AddieCake said:

It does suck that if you don't want to go you risk being pressured or having someone mad at you about it. However, that's true of a lot of parties, not just showers.  My heinous cousin was livid that I couldn't attend her son's 7th birthday party. I had a wedding to go to, but that wasn't a good enough "excuse" in her book. Haha! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. 

Yep.

And don't we always tell people here to start acting like an adult, learn to say no, and stop giving any fucks about what other ppl think about your decisions?

My mom tried to pressure me into going to a baby shower last weekend. . . the invitation was sent to her house, I didn't receive it.  I told her I'd go if I could, but it was kind of last minute for me.  "But, But. .  .and if you can't go you can at least send a gift!"

Yeah, no shit mother.  I intend to.  Which is what I told her.  I didn't go to the shower- my mother seems to be fine with it, and if she's harboring some resentment over it, meh.  I don't have to worry about it or deal with it unless she says something about it.

Interesting, I never send gifts to showers I don't go to. I figure if I'm invited to the wedding, my wedding gift is good enough. And if I'm not invited to the wedding, well obviously no.

For baby showers, if it's a first baby and a really close family member, like a sibling, I would send a gift though.

lyndausvi

lovegood90 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

AddieCake said:

It does suck that if you don't want to go you risk being pressured or having someone mad at you about it. However, that's true of a lot of parties, not just showers.  My heinous cousin was livid that I couldn't attend her son's 7th birthday party. I had a wedding to go to, but that wasn't a good enough "excuse" in her book. Haha! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. 

Yep.

And don't we always tell people here to start acting like an adult, learn to say no, and stop giving any fucks about what other ppl think about your decisions?

My mom tried to pressure me into going to a baby shower last weekend. . . the invitation was sent to her house, I didn't receive it.  I told her I'd go if I could, but it was kind of last minute for me.  "But, But. .  .and if you can't go you can at least send a gift!"

Yeah, no shit mother.  I intend to.  Which is what I told her.  I didn't go to the shower- my mother seems to be fine with it, and if she's harboring some resentment over it, meh.  I don't have to worry about it or deal with it unless she says something about it.

Interesting, I never send gifts to showers I don't go to. I figure if I'm invited to the wedding, my wedding gift is good enough. And if I'm not invited to the wedding, well obviously no.

For baby showers, if it's a first baby and a really close family member, like a sibling, I would send a gift though.

It depends who the shower is for.

My 3rd cousin once removed who haven't seen in a while.  NOTHING.

A first cousin whom I'm fairly close to, but can't make because of a prior commitment, yes.